The Hikki & The NEET
(Oregairu & Kagepro crossover)
On an off day, one would think that the NEET who was getting his education again would be busy, rather than idly walking about outdoors. Studying maybe, hanging out with friends, or even Shintaro's personal preference: camping out in one's room and abusing the internet. So why of all things, was he outside?
The answer was considerably less interesting than any mystery the mind could come up with. In truth, Shintaro had realized just how intimidating a little sister could be, especially when you actually see her more than three or four times a day. Having (mostly) given up his NEET lifestyle, Shintaro actually had to communicate with people, and talk to people in real life.
A shame, he knew, but society was just like that. Had Shintaro stayed cooped up in his room, surely one day Momo would give up on supporting him, and his completely necessary tech upgrades. How did his little sister, related as they were, not understand that buying an entirely new set-up every year was mandatory for the best performance possible? Getting an extra MB of RAM was like getting a good luck charm before you go on stage; it just made you all that much better.
Sure, Shintaro knew it was expensive getting all the fancy high tech details, but his sister could have been more supportive of his NEET lifestyle. It wasn't as if she didn't have the money anyhow, as by some strange mystery, Momo seemed to have enough saved up for their home, the Dan's apartment, and Shintaro's comfort expenses.
Sighing like a restless slave, Shintaro forced himself down, onto a bench in the middle of the public park. At least it wasn't too noisy here. He could hear the whispers of the wind, gently rattling the leaves on their branches. Shintaro could hear the rhythmic beats of squirrels chattering, and amongst the miniscule voices of other insects and the like, Shintaro mindlessly identified each one by its distinctive call and pitch.
A male beetle, hoping to find a mate. A swarm of ants, each mindlessly communicating with each other like an emotionless network, going for the most efficient job possible. The call of a passerine bird, probably a pipit, as it feeds its children. The bark of a dachshund, running rampant. Wait, what? A dachshund, a family pet, a family was coming this way? So much for the peace and quiet of a public park. Oh wait, that never existed. Right.
Shintaro watched as a dumb looking sausage of a dog – sorry, a dachshund – bounded up to him. The sausage gave him a quick sniff, as if in greeting, then zipped off to wherever dumb saus- dachshunds go. In this case, it was to its owner, presumably a teen with slightly bold clothing whose hair made Shintaro do a double-take. Pink hair? Granted, Shintaro was very familiar with fancy hair colouring, but pink? Of all the conspicuous colours to choose from, Pink was pretty out there. Or rather, was it a much lighter shade of Momo's orange with some more red splotched in?
"Sable!" The teenager called out, catching the sausage and lifting it into her arms. The more Shintaro stared at her, the more he was reminded of Momo. Her… it occurred to Shintaro that he shouldn't be thinking these things about underage high schoolers. Anyhow, that curiosity had grasped his attention long enough. Shintaro had better things to do, like to sit and stare at the grass grow.
"Yuigahama-san, please do not run off without giving us notice." Another girl, looking to be about the same age, entered through the forested pathway. This one was much more conservative than the other, clothing not emphasizing the… bust as much. Still, the second teenager, as Shintaro assumed them both to be by their mannerisms, was a beauty in her own right. They both were, but again Shintaro decided that he shouldn't spend too much time on the thought. It was simply a waste.
"Sorry!" The first girl exclaimed, clapping her hands and doing a light bow in apology. Shesh, that was going a little far. Shintaro groaned, wondering when they'd leave and let him keep his peace. He surely wasn't going to get up and move; that would require the effort of standing up.
"Hikigaya-kun, please at least try to keep pace." The second girl reprimanded someone, the third person to come out from the path. Gosh, Shintaro really didn't have much luck today. It was a boy this time, looking like some bird had rested on his neck so long that the boy was left with a permanent slouch. Maybe it pecked at his eyes while it was at it, because the boy glared at everything. Or was that his actual face?
"Where did Komachi-chan go?" The second girl asked. Oh boy, this bird-boy had had a third girl with him? Judging from his standards, that was something. Shintaro really didn't want to listen any longer. As someone who… was unfortunate enough for the target of his affections to disappear into an unmoving stale world, Shintaro supposed he was being a little jealous. Just a little.
"She said she had to go again. The concert's going to start soon, why did she go?" The boy grumbled. Really, how exactly had this boy gone about seducing three different females? It was a wonder. Shintaro put his mind to work, but couldn't come up with a thing. Another mystery, another enigma to puzzle over. Or Shintaro could just stop caring about the three, and leave them to the fate of their harem.
"I guess we'll look for her. Yuigahama-san, you look there, I'll head that direction. Hikigaya-kun, please stay here and see if she comes." The second girl commanded, before striding off to follow her own instructions.
"Yeah yeah." The boy waved dismissively.
"Go die lifer." Shintaro muttered under his breath.
Hachiman hadn't wanted to go to Mekaku, given the recent splash of 'accidents' in the area, but Komachi insisted, saying something about how she wanted to visit one of the famous Momo Kisaragi's concerts with Yuigahama and Yukinoshita. Somehow or another, Hachiman found himself being pulled along to his sister's whims, and she got everything she wanted.
Except now, Komachi was gone. She 'disappeared' once more just before the concert she oh-so-desperately wanted to attend, saying something about a project that she should have known about beforehand. Still, they had already bought the tickets, so it would be a waste to not go. Hachiman supposed that it was at least good that he didn't have to search for his sister. All he had to do was stand still in one spot.
Hachiman's loner senses were tingling. A loner, being a lonely existence at heart, needed to develop a very special skill set, to detect any potential bad blood directed their way. Whether the skill was created by the repetitive special event of lots of ill thoughts or fear of the grouped lifers, a loner always had to smarten themselves quickly or suffer for it. An amazing technique that was one of the 108 loner skills he'd crafted and mastered from scratch.
In this instance, Hachiman felt the malicious intent coming from behind him. He glanced to the side, glimpsing from the corner of his eye a frowning teenager, comfortably resting on a bench. How dull. This jersey-wearing teen, frail and weak, posed no threat, or so the Hachiman's loner-evaluation skills told him.
After all, a loner needed to know when Tachiko from eighth grade was coming to threaten him, or Sachiko from seventh grade in the class over was about to come to taunt him. That being said, Hachiman's loner instincts told him nothing about this sad looking teen. Ahh, a loner was a truly wonderful existence, to be so well versed in the arts.
No word from Yukinoshita or Yuigahama, or so Hachiman's phone told him. Would they text him when they found his notorius little sister? Should he have explained that by 'go again' that he didn't mean to the bathroom, but to ditch the scenarios that she set up herself? Hachiman thought about it for a second, then dismissed it. For Yukinoshita, as the number one in Japanese, surely she would've grasped the hidden meaning behind the words. Actually, because it was Yukinoshita… it might become troublesome.
Ten minutes passed without a word, and Hachiman seriously considered sitting down next to the ill-meaning teen on the bench. The scowling teen hadn't moved an inch since Hachiman first saw him, which as every loner knew, that the teen was having an intense existential crisis.
Hachiman almost felt like commending the teen, for going through one of the later stages to the loner's Nirvana. Hachiman of course, with his mastery of the 108 loner skills, had long since surpassed that realm of lonerhood, but it was always nostalgic to see a fellow loner at that stage.
Then, in a shock like that of the electric fence Hachiman had been tricked into touching in third grade on the field trip, his pupil faded from his eyes. Another teen, female with fancy looking clothes on, stormed into the small clearing, possessively grabbing at the scowling teen, turning his scowl into a look of pure surprise.
A girlfriend, whose face was so dolled up in nearly unnoticeable make-up that Hachiman could swear he'd seen her before. Hachiman's former pupil had been waiting for his girlfriend, not contemplating the reason for life in relation to a loner's role in society and cross-referencing that in an essay that he'd later have to redo because 'it was too off-topic'. The girlfriend whispered a few words that even Hachiman's amazing observation abilities couldn't pick up, and dragged the bench boy away, jersey flapping.
"Go die lifer." Hachiman whispered, cursing his former pupil.
It would only be much later, at Momo Kisaragi's concert with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama that Hachiman would remember where he saw that face before.
So, in light of Oregairu season two starting, I felt like doing a cross between their two titular characters: the HikkiNEET and Hikki (Hikigaya).
I probably fracked up characterization again, but hopefully it wasn't too noticable. Haha... *cries*