A person's life is filled with defining moments; some of them sad, some of them happy, and all of them involving extremes. Memories are made from events that are significant in some way, whether good or bad.

Up until she met Jesse, the moment that had most defined her in her life was sitting on the front steps at the age of ten, waiting for her father to arrive home from work, only he never came.

She carried those feelings of hurt, mistrust, and anger with her wherever she went. They changed her, made her rough around the edges. And even though she had put up walls and pushed away everyone in her life before she met Jesse Swanson, he was the first to call her out on it.

She's had many defining moments in her life that brought to this one. Her first day at Barden, meeting Jesse, kissing him at the ICCA's, agreeing to marry him, and having Melody have all shaped her into who she is now. So when she turns to him and says, "Want to start on making aca-baby number two?" she knows there's no turning back.

She's anxious for weeks beforehand. Having a second child is a big decision, and they have gone back and forth about it since Melody was born. The first time it came up, she was in the middle of pushing Melody out of her body when one of the nurses said, "Hey, how many do you think you're gonna have?"

And she had replied mid-contraction, "At this moment, I don't even want this one!"

She didn't want Melody to be an only child. She was an only child and it was very lonely for her growing up, especially during and after her parents' divorce. She worried about affording another child, did they make enough money? Was she going to have the time and patience to have two little ones running around? Would she be able to love them fairly and be an equally good mother to both?

Jesse was from a bigger family and she knew he wanted at least two children. He tells her time and time again that he's ok with only having one, if she doesn't want to do the pregnancy and breastfeeding thing again he understands. It's an almost two year commitment on her part. They agree that the children should be at least 2 years apart in age, because they don't want there to be such a huge difference that they can't play together or share the same interests around the same time, and they don't want them to be so close in age that they're dealing with two infants. They also agree that they'd like another girl, since they already have all the girl clothing and accessories. Jesse isn't one of those macho men who need to have a son to pass on the family name or teach sports to, and he adores his little girl.

After she weans Melody she begins tracking her cycle carefully. She knows her fertile time is coming up, and she can't help but lie awake worrying over it. They were lucky with Melody, conceiving her on the first try, but Beca knows the reality of the situation, she has fertility issues and Melody was a miracle baby. She knows that even if they try, they may never have another child.

She loves how women are always saying that pregnancy is wonderful and how they don't remember it, but she recalls it with crystal clear perfect clarity. The hot flashes, hip pain, back pain, leg cramps, carpal-tunnel, unbearable gas pains, insomnia, water retention, fat everything, tent shaped clothing, weight gain, mood swings, nausea, frequent urination, constant worry, feels-like-an-eternity forty weeks. She hates maternity clothing. It took forever to lose the weight again and get back to her old size and she's thinking about doing this again? She must be insane.

Sure, nothing beats feeling the baby move for the first time inside her, and absolutely the best moment of her life was holding Melody for the first time. She tries to focus on how that felt, and the amazing love she has for her child, a love she didn't know she was capable of feeling before she laid eyes on her daughter.

It's been a difficult summer for her, being off from work on a forced sabbatical. The fallout of her hormones after weaning Melody, and just being bored shitless have bred a whole host of anxieties and obsessions within her, unearthing feelings she had buried since she found out she was pregnant for the first time almost two years ago. She's obsessing over that stupid celebrity couple, or whether her favorite television show will be renewed, or if the sequel to one of the movies Jesse made her watch will ever be made. Because the problem with being a passionate person is, you can't always control what you're passionate about.

Jesse has been working on finishing their basement into a playroom for Melody, which means many trips to various home improvement stores, lots of painting, contractors coming in and out of the house each day, making one day blend into the next. She tries to pour all of her emotions into something she's passionate about, music, but it isn't the effective therapy it used to be for her.

The house is a mess, the contents of the previous basement storage area and makeshift office strewn in the dining room, her life in boxes as the work on the house continues. She's pinned down by Melody's long afternoon naps that make going anywhere or doing anything very difficult, and she's feeling isolated. She hates that she almost wants to go back to work.

Yes, she's definitely insane.

His eyes widen as she asks him to make another baby with her. He's ecstatic, she can tell. And he's the reason she wants another. Jesse is the most amazing father to Melody. He's attentive, patient, and loving and she wants nothing more than to witness him falling in love with another child of theirs. She just hopes she can give him one. And mainly, she wants to stop worrying about it and everything else.

He's carried her up the stairs to their bedroom, and she's undressing carefully. She slides into bed next to him to find he's already ready for her, and he kisses her tenderly. Before he pushes into her, he looks into her eyes, "Are you sure?" he whispers, and she nods. He glides into her, both of them reveling in the exquisite sensation of being able to do this with no barriers between them.

For the next two nights, they make love, and he falls asleep quickly after each time, and she lies there still, staring up at their ceiling. She wishes she could see if something miraculous was happening inside of her, but she knows she's going to have to wait the two weeks before she can take a pregnancy test. Coincidentally, that will be right around the time that she goes back to work.

He's anxious too, and keeps asking her if she can sense any changes. With Melody, the first signs came with crazy temperature swings that would make her feel freezing and then extremely hot in the span of minutes. A few days later, she took the pregnancy test that revealed she was expecting.

So when he suggests that they go out to dinner to get their minds off things a few nights later, she's thrilled with the idea. They arrange a sitter for Melody, dress up in nice clothes, and head out to their favorite Italian bistro.

He notices that she's very quiet at dinner, allowing him to ramble on about some movie he saw on cable last night. "Bec?" he asks, "What is it?"

"Are you still going to love me when I get fat again, and lose my hair again, and my boobs deflate into near non-existence?" she asks.

He smiles, "Of course, how can you even ask me that?"

"I don't know. I guess I keep thinking about how I'm no longer the eighteen year old girl you fell in love with anymore," she says quietly.

"Beca," he takes her hand in his, "You're so much more to me now. You're my wife. You're the mother of my child, possibly children. And I know we're getting older, but we're doing this together."

"I love you," she tells him, smiling.

"Right back at ya, babe," he grins dorkily, and she laughs.

And now she just has to wait the two weeks.

A/N: This chapter was my way of explaining why I won't be updating as quickly, if at all. I'll do my best.