After she kissed him for the first time, he was flustered for what seemed like forever. At first, he attributes it to the fact that he's been chasing this girl all school year long, and she had finally reciprocated his feelings in a grand gesture worthy of one of his movies. Plus, they were in the midst of the thrill of competition, and he was certain that she was going to win the championship.
He's watching her from across the auditorium when he spies her father and a blonde woman approach the object of his affections. He observes how Beca stiffens, crossing her arms protectively, keeping herself at arm's length. Dr. Mitchell tries to kiss her on the cheek, but it's awkward and unnatural. Jesse cringes from his standpoint, knowing that her relationship with her father is difficult, and that she's hurting. He wonders how someone could be so careless with Beca's unconditional love. He vows silently to himself that if he's ever lucky enough to earn her love, he'll do anything in his power to cherish it always.
And for ten years so far, he keeps his vow.
Of course, there are many bumps along the way, and he isn't perfect, but he always gives her his best, and he knows she does the same for him. Her pain is something she carries with her always, and he wishes he could take it away, but scars on the heart often leave their mark.
Slowly, she repairs her relationship with her father, but it isn't perfect. Sometimes, he'll do or say something, or something will strike a chord in her, and he knows she's hurting. She tries not to talk about it, but he knows.
Melody is around fifteen months old when she tells him she's expecting their second child in an elaborate flash mob grand gesture that has him falling in love with her all over again. It's very early on, and she's just starting to feel the nausea and fatigue that goes along with being pregnant, when they decide to tell their parents the news.
They video chat with his parents, and they're thrilled. His mother admits that she assumed they would only have one child, and he knows it's because he once shared with her that he feared Beca would never want to be a mother. They hang up with the elder Swansons feeling happy.
Beca's mother and step-father are also overjoyed, and her mom even agrees to fly in and help when Beca's due date approaches. This seems to calm Beca, and he wraps his arm loosely around her shoulders as they dial her father's number.
As Dr. Mitchell and Sheila appear on the screen, they make small talk at first until Beca delivers the news.
"I hope you'll be free in early May to come out for a visit," she tells them.
"Well, uh," Dr. Mitchell says, glancing at Sheila, "We'll have to check the calendar but I don't think we have anything planned. What did you have in mind?"
"Well, I just thought you might like to meet your new grandchild then," Beca replies quietly, not looking at the screen.
Silence.
And then more silence.
Jesse waits, studying his in-laws' faces. "Dad?" Beca says tentatively, "Did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah, Bec," her Dad says, rubbing his temples, "I'm just shocked is all. I didn't expect this."
Sheila's mouth is hanging open as she stares into space. "Sheila?" Beca questions.
"Oh honey," Sheila manages, "This is great news. How much younger than Melody will the new baby be?"
"Almost two years," Beca replies.
"Wow," Sheila shakes her head, "That's going to be…challenging."
"Yes it is," Jesse interjects, "But we decided to try again before Melody's completely out of the baby phase, so it isn't like completely starting over again."
"We didn't know we'd get pregnant so quickly, if at all," Beca explains, "This was the minimum age apart we wanted them to be."
Jesse glances at her as if you say you don't need to justify this to them, but Beca continues, "We wanted them to be close enough in age to be able to play together. And I'm not getting any younger here."
"It's great, Bec," her father says, attempting a smile. They end the call soon after, and Beca slams the laptop shut before turning and walking away.
He knows after years of being with her that now is not the time to talk about this. She's going to need to think about it for a bit first.
The next week passes in a blur. They are both working full time and Melody has just started daycare, her care up until now given by a hired nanny. This brings a lot of tears from both parents and child, Melody's first cold, and sheer exhaustion on everyone. It's almost a week later when he finally gets a chance to sit down and talk to her alone. He's just put Melody to bed, and he walks down to the kitchen to find Beca sitting at the table, staring off into space.
"Bec?" he says quietly, not wanting to startle her.
"I thought he'd be happy," she whispers, her voice barely audible.
"He is," Jesse insists.
"No, he isn't," she replies, "He's not a very good actor. Did you see his face? It's another grandchild for God's sake, not an atomic bomb!"
"He's just worried about you," he says calmly, "Your first pregnancy wasn't the easiest."
"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I'm afraid of what this means? You know, if it weren't for the constant nausea and having to pee every five seconds, it almost seems like I'm not actually pregnant. And then I remember I'm almost 3 weeks late for my period."
He opens his mouth to say something, but she takes a breath and continues.
"Is it too much to ask for him to be happy? Just once? To be happy without terms and conditions? To be proud without questions? To just be a father who loves his daughter?"
"He does love you," Jesse replies.
"No, he doesn't," she snaps, "Not like you love Melody. Not like you love me."
He takes a step towards her, but she has her arms crossed again, a posture he knows all too well.
"Sometimes I watch you with Melody, and my heart breaks a little," she says, her eyes filling with tears. "And it's not in a way that I'm sad, it's because you're just so wonderful. And I'm so happy my children have you for a father. It's just that sometimes, I wish my father were better, the way you are with Melody."
He's at a loss for words. Sometimes he really wants to punch Dr. Mitchell. And even though he knows the professor loves his daughter, he could have done better by her.
"I just love you so, so much," she adds.
"I love you more," he replies, echoing the words she normally says to him.
He kisses her lightly on the lips before moving past her to get himself a glass of water. She stands, walking to the refrigerator to take out the contents of Melody's lunch to pack for tomorrow. They work together in silence, readying themselves for the coming day. He can tell she still isn't ok by the way she emphatically places each item on the counter, sighing heavily with each move she makes. He reaches for her hand, giving it a small squeeze as he looks into her eyes.
He's reminded of the first time they went shopping together after they started dating, and he had reached for her hand just like this as they walked among the stores. She had glanced down at their joined hands in genuine surprise, as if she couldn't believe he'd do something like this, or maybe because it felt so natural. He felt the electricity flowing between them, and he knew he never wanted to let go.
And in ten years, he hasn't.
"Turn around," he murmurs into the shell of her ear.
"I really need you tonight," she whispers, and he tugs her closer to him. He sweeps the hair off her shoulders, pressing light kisses to her neck before landing his lips on hers. He kisses her softly, this kiss building in intensity with each passing second.
Even now, as he makes love to her, they both feel the sparks between them, and they both feel so lucky to have spent the last ten years together. He hopes that night that this passion, this love they share never fades.
And in all the years they are together, it doesn't.
A/N: So sorry for the delay! I am insanely busy and feeling exhausted/nauseous right now, but I will continue to update when I can. Reviews are love!