Chapter Two - Reckless

(Inspired by: Be My Escape *acoustic edition*- Relient K)

I rise before the sun, far too restless to simply lie in bed.

My family should be home by now, but as I raise my head, ears peaked, I hear nothing. Most mornings, wind rages beyond my window as rain pounds down on to the roof, but today, as the moon rests in the sky, there is a stillness that calls to me. Kicking the covers tangled around my legs, I decide to go for a run.

I tie on a pair of shoes, exchanging my nightgown for shorts and a sports bra. I tug my curls behind my head in a tight ponytail before I cross my bedroom to the terrace doors. Once again, I pause, my eyes narrowed on the sleek, silver handle. The question, standing tall and firm, poses itself before me.

Did I lock the door?

I blink, pushing past it and throwing open the door before I leap over the edge. I land with a quiet thud, my legs enduring the impact with little ache. I make the steady jog toward the pathway in the forest. Feeling the cool, dry air whisper against my skin settles a sense of calm in my core. I stretch, loosening my muscles for a long run. Glancing toward the dark sky, I find the moon shimmering back at me. I take in a deep breath, hold it a moment and let it go.

I'm ready.

I kick on the soil, legs feeling like wings as they flutter though the air with little difficulty. I can feel my heart, racing fast, pumping blood through my veins with an eager burn. The world around me blurs in to a water-color portrait of green and brown tones. I make it about six miles before the burn of strain sends it gentle echo in to my muscles. This is my freedom. Running allows my mind to drift in to a gentle silence where worries and expectations are a quiet afterthought. A Catholic's confession to their god can't even begin to compare to the rebirth a good run offers me.

I turn around, feeling the euphoria spread over my skin in a thin mask of sweat. My breath remains even, slightly labored, as I reach the edge of the trees once more. The house stands a football field away as I slow to a jog. I stretch again, every inch of my body feeling refreshed.

I smell my father, hearing his footfalls about a mile before he comes face-to-face with me. I continue to stretch, a small smile on my face.

"It's a bit early for a run, don't you think?"

I nod slightly, pulling my arms over my head as my back releases its tensions.

"I couldn't pass up the good weather."

Dad watches me carefully, "I'll admit it's a clear morning, but you haven't gone running for a few months. Is everything alright?"

I shrug, turning to face him. He grimaces, clearly unhappy with my attire. I withhold the eye roll, maintaining respect for my father. "I'm fine. Like you said, I haven't gone for a while. I missed it… and, I don't know, I wanted to run." I tell him.

Dad accepts that and we make the trek back to the house. I leap up the side of the house, back to my balcony and proceed with my usual morning routine. I start off with a shower, brushing my teeth and preparing for another day in the life of a Cullen.

The day began in a calm stupor, but as the hours pass, the usual grey skies greet the sun and hide it away. Rain pours down, muted by the thundering of lightening. All my life I've lived in dreary, wet towns. The sun is a strange thing to me as I've only seen it a handful of times, but I suppose it's for the best. After all, we wouldn't want to expose ourselves to the human. Secrets; the only thing vampires keep their entire lives.

My family and I arrive at the cafeteria, the room visibly stilling. Silence spreads like a fatal disease throughout the building as eyes are drawn to us. I've never understood the reaction, but I assume it's because the humans know something is different about us… or them, rather. I don't think I have the same effect on people as my family does.

I guess it's because I have one foot in each world. The vampire half forces people to watch their step around me, but the human half encourages people to relax, if only for a moment. I'm not scary or enchantingly beautiful like my family. I'm just… different and I guess that's what makes humans cautious in my presence. Vampires are simply curious, but they'd drain me no less than their other prey.

My eyes immediately scope the vicinity for Alec, finding him at Ana's table with her posse. I feel myself shoulders deflate, but hold the posture within my spine. The disappoint and (dare I say it?) jealousy that escape me is infuriating.

How can he ignite such reactions within me?

Everyone takes their seat, silently conversing with their mate. I'm thankful for their distractions as I excuse myself to get lunch, glancing over at Alec to see those piercing eyes on me. As I cross the cafeteria to the salad bar, I feel my heart race. I can feel the warmth of a gaze on my back. I peek out of the corner of my eye and sure enough, he continues to watch me. I glance over to my family's table, evaluating my father's posture and expression. He leans close to my mother, smiling gently at her. My eyebrows shoot up. With the way Alec is watching me, I assume he's thinking of me as well. Perhaps Edward can't hear him.

Is Alec like my mother?

I stab the lettuce with my fork, burning a hole in to the tray. I need to stop this nonsense. Throughout calculus and astronomy, I had an incredible difficulty focusing on anything the teachers were saying. My thoughts revolve solely around the new student and I've barely spoken two words to him. Not to mention he's in half my classes, but nowhere near me.

I don't understand why the distance makes my chest hurt. I don't understand why when he looks at me, my heart beats that much harder. I don't understand why I like him looking at me. I don't understand why I like looking at him. I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about him.

Why, oh-why must it be me?

I huff, shaking my head and preparing to leave the salad bar when my skin prickles with the presence of another immortal being nearby. I freeze, wondering if my parents sense it too. My eyes flicker over to their table, but they are engrossed within each other's presence, exuding a bubble of isolation from the rest of the world.

"Well, good afternoon, Renesmee."

I whip around, meeting Alec's crystal clear eyes. My dream from last night plays through my mind as I stare in to those beautiful, liquefied orbs. My heart stops.

"Hi." I murmur

Shuffling my feet as I force myself to avoid his eyes, questions fill my mind, but I blink them away as I decide to make myself appear busy, uninterested. Maybe he'll go away. Do I want him to go away? My thoughts become a jumbled mess as I feel my more human side present itself boldly. Dammit.

"How are you?" he asks, shifting closer to me.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I stare down at my salad with false hopes of becoming invisible.

"I'm good," I say, nodding for no reason. I stop nodding and glance at him for a quick moment, "How are you?"

Alec smiles gently, "I'm well," he pauses as his body tenses.

He steps a few inches closer, his head leaning toward mine, "Did you get home alright last night?"

His voice has become dead quiet. My body stiffens, unsure how he knew of last night. The memory plays before my eyes again; the men, their intentions, and my escape. They dropped to the ground as if… as if they lost feeling within their bodies. Sensation deprivation. I glance between my family, still locked away from the humans in their bubble of immortality, and Alec, concern reflecting within the deep pools of cerulean.

"How do you know about that?" I demand, a low growl to my tone.

Unfazed, he shrugs nonchalantly, "Ana told me you walked home. Dark streets are no place for a little girl, especially when she's all alone."

I don't know why, but when he points out the fact that I'm little, while true, it infuriates me. I'll admit that I'm not ancient vampire, but I'm not a baby in a hot car either. I glare at him, frustration boiling in to my veins. "I'm not a child; I'll have you know I'm quite capable."

Alec lifts an eyebrow, skepticism clear as day.

"Oh, really?"

For the first time in my life, I challenge someone as I step in to his space. Our gazes burn in to one another and I know I'm stepping in to dangerous territory, but something reckless within me finds thrill in this. His eyes darken, a speck of red twinkling near the outer rim of his pupils. My heart falters, though my livid attitude holds its own.

"Really."

As if accepting my challenge, he smirks down at me. He's enjoying this game as much as I. I relish in my defiance, loving the freedom that pulses through me. I feel so alive.

"Prove it."

The bell's shrill call echoes throughout the cafeteria, signaling the end of lunch… and my rebellion. I back away from him as my skittish, human-self returns. Like a terrified puppy, I bow my head before Alec and glance over to my family who have realized my disappearance. My mother whispers my name, ordering me to return to the table. Alec watches me, eyes lit with fascination. I mutter a farewell and scurry back over to my family like a well-trained pet.

Pathetic.

I dread the arrival of seventh hour, begging the clock to tick-tock slower. My behavior earlier was ridiculous at best, embarrassing at worst. I'm an emotional wreck around him, I've decided. He causes too many feelings to stir in my otherwise content soul. I've been a calm person most of my life, even thru the Volturi's attack I remained an emotionless statue and that's how I've remained, but this boy, this man… whatever he is.

I've also decided that he's something more than a human. Perhaps he has a gift. I don't know, but what I do know is that he's different; very different and that's why I'm so obsessed with him. I grimace at that.

Seventh period arrives far too quick in my opinion. I shuffle over to the table, thankful I have come before Alec. I take out my notebook and scribble down the notes already on the board. By the time my partner shows up, I've become engrossed in the world beyond the window. I watch in a melancholy reverie of depression as the skies darken, if that's even possible. I've never liked living in these rainy towns; I don't like the rain or the sleet or the impending skies.

"Hello, again." Alec smiles, offering his full attention.

I glance at him, looking to the side of him rather than straight in to his eyes to prevent another attack of excitement as I nod in greeting. The bored, uninterested rebuff seems to catch his attention, but before he can act on it, the lesson begins. As luck would have it, Ms. Leaver gave a lecture rather than had us "experiment" with our partners. Stupidly, I began to think that fate would continue in my favor, but I was wrong. As the bell signaled another end to the day, Ana approached our table, looking to speak with (surprise, surprise) me about last night.

Her makeup, as always, is done to compliment her Naomi Watts-like features. She feigns a look of guilt as she tucks a few stray stands of platinum blond hair behind her ear.

"Hey, Ness… um, how are you?"

I raise a brow, withholding a glare. I have something against careless, selfish people; call me crazy if I just don't trust them or believe their apologies. Most humans, whether they accept it or not, are out for self-gain. I can't blame them, but I can decide whether or not I want to be around them.

"I'm great. How was the pizza?" I retort, not even looking at her as I pack-up my bag.

She huffs, "I'm sorry, alright? It wasn't cool what I did last night. I know, I get it. Forgive me?"

I hear my family in the back of my head, telling me to forgive and forget, that holding grudges is childish under circumstances such as this, that I should take responsibility and be the bigger person, but I don't want to. I'm sick of being lenient. I can't even count how many times I've been screwed over because I forgave someone for leaving me out to rot.

"No." I say, surprising myself and Ana.

Hell, just a month ago, she'd left me at the mall so she could hook up with some guy and I'd forgiven her before she even finished her fake apology. I didn't want to start trouble, I didn't want to stir the pot, but I don't care at the moment. Let the pot boil-over.

Her eyes widen, mouth agape as she stumbles over her words.

"Excuse me? I don't think I caught that."

"I don't think I stuttered." I counter, walking away before she can say more.

I stroll down the halls feeling invigorated… until I got to the car, that is.

Dad saw the incident through my thoughts and scolded me the whole ride home about keeping low profiles. He cautions me on responsibility, commends me for walking away, but then grounds me for the comment I made. I sit-up, staring at him with what I assume is shock as we pull in to the driveway.

"Don't give me that look. You know better than to start trouble and if you think what you did is okay, then you need to be punished. One week; no technology except for school assignments and you'll accept that girl's apology. Understood?"

The urge to argue back bubbles in my throat and for a moment, I consider it. I've never fought against authority. It's not who I am. If I'm grounded, how can arguing possibly make it better? I mean, I would feel better if I pleaded for my case, but then again, I could just lengthen the sentence. I roll my eyes at my father for the first time in my life before I storm off to my room. A huge commotion ensues downstairs as I begin my homework. What's it about?

"Renesmee just rolled her eyes at me." Dad said, his voice flabbergasted.

The next few weeks pass with little disturbance. I'm forced to accept Ana's apology, but she won't have it unless I apologize to her for the way I spoke to her. Begrudgingly, I did and we made up. Alec and I don't speak outside of seventh hour. I thank the heavens for that, but as the weekend dawns near, so does Jake's next visit. I feel a little apprehensive with him coming since, as of late, he has yet to leave me alone over the phone. He calls at least six times a day and I guess I should find it endearing or something, but it just freaks me out. I feel like I can't go to the bathroom without him wanting to know about it.

Friday is here and by the end of the day, Jake will be too.

The day starts off with the sun peeking out from beyond the clouds. Alice suggests staying home and Carlisle complies, but tells me to go. My mom plans on running to the border so she can visit grandpa Charlie, then dad wants to go as well and Alice too. Jasper and Emmett decide to go for the hunt. Naturally, Rose wanted to join as well. Esme makes plans to help out at the hospital with Carlisle and by the time I wake up, I have no ride home from school.

I get dressed, weighing my options of walking, as that went so well last time, or asking Ana for a lift. She has taken me up on every offer thus far just to see the house the mysterious Cullen family lives in and she was not disappointed, but since my family is always "sick" when I ask for a ride, she has never been inside. Seeing she's my only other choice, I make plans to ask her about a ride home as I walk out of my room.

Carlisle and Esme drop me off at school and the day breezes by surprisingly fast. Ana accepts the task of driving me home, happy to help a "friend" in need. By lunch that day, it pours down again. I wonder if Alice is getting rusty. This is the second time the day started sunny and ended in a tropical storm.

Seventh hour is a dreaded event, not that it's out of the usual.

Alec is already at the table as I walk in with Ana. She has yet to give up her prospect of getting in bed with my partner. I feel bile rise in my throat at her comments; she can be awfully graphic when she see it fit. I take a seat, feeling Alec's eyes on me. He stares at me every day. I feel like he's waiting for me to say something to him, but I never do. The normalcy is creeping, while slowly, consistently back in to my life and somehow I know if I keep a relationship with him, the earth will shift on its axis. He causes incredible emotions to awaken within me. I still haven't decided whether it's good or not, but it's certainly intense.

"As we approach the second half of our lesson, we'll begin with another experiment. Once the male or female decides the mate is desirable, they move in to the next phase of sexual behavior; deciding whether the mate find them desirable. So, socialize with your partner and try to figure out if they find you interesting and If I catch you speaking with another table, I'll take ten percent off your final grade. You may begin." Ms. Leaver takes a seat behind her desk, opening her laptop, but keeping a stern eye on the class.

My will wavers as Alec scoots closer to me, a sly grin on his face. "Seems like your resolve to ignore me continues to be knocked down by fate; perhaps we're meant to be."

I can't help smiling at that, but I quickly deny his accusations, "I'm not trying to ignore you."

He laughs dryly, sending a level look my way. I shift in my seat, my body warming a few degrees. Why does he have to be so attractive with everything he does?

"You avoid me like a fatal disease, Renesmee. Enlighten me on what you define that as." Alec sighs, not holding a single tone of insinuation in his voice.

He sure knows how to make a girl feel guilty… and flustered.

"I'm sorry, I just-I…" I trail off, wanting to tell him exactly what I feel. He scares me with the way he so easily affects my emotions, but I can't. Edward is in my head, forbidding me. I let out a heavy breath, angry with myself for being such a… little girl.

"You... what?"

I glance at him, smirking slightly. I look away, finding something compelling in the granite of the desk as I reveal more to him in one sentence than I've revealed to anyone in six years. "Consider yourself lucky. I'm a mess; trust me when I say you don't want any part of it."

Feeling his eyes on me, I peek up for a moment, but quickly lose myself in those deepening lakes of disturbed elegance. The blue seems to darken to a dark lilac as he leans close to me, "Trust me when I say I want every part in it."

I lose my voice, my heart racing in my chest as if it wants to leap out in to his capable hands. Blinking away the glaze that's come over me, I remember to breathe. Heat, red hot, melts in to my cheeks and ignites in my lower belly. Add that to the list of another reaction I don't understand. The rest of the class passes on less extreme circumstances. Alec and I somehow naturally flow in conversation; crazy, right?

He tells me about his family and I come to find that he's originally from England, but he grew up in Italy before moving to the United States on his own. He misses his sister and the gorgeous city he used to live in, although he's finding an escape in this rainy little town. I learn that he loves to draw, he's a fan of classical music and he really likes plays.

Seeing it only fair, I tell him about my passion for running and that I'm strict vegetarian. I have to admit; it's a bit of a contradiction for someone who drinks animal blood, but refuses to eat them. I guess it's because I don't hunt as often as my family and Carlisle sometimes sneaks bags of human blood home for me, though I don't share that with Alec.

By the time the day is over, I feel like I've began a friendship with the otherwise unapproachable man beside me. Ana rushes over to our table, cutting our conversation to a dead halt.

"Hey, Ness, I'm so sorry, but I can't give you a ride. A friend of mine really needs me; you understand, right?" she reaches out for me, her palm grazing my wrist and her thoughts explode before my eyes.

I can't believe he wants me! He's in college too, this is awesome. I'm wanted by an older guy. God, Alec is so hot. Maybe he'll want to hookup sometime. I know he wants me; he just doesn't want to come off to as easy. No worries, I'll get him.

I blink, my head throbbing with the sudden rush of someone else in my mind. I'll have to note that for Carlisle. Obviously, she's lying, well, in a sense. The guy from her thoughts might need her in a different way than I perceive. Already exhausted and annoyed, I wave her off. She doesn't take a second of hesitation before flying off out the door. I sigh, packing my bag.

Alec smiles, "Everything okay?"

I peek outside and, as if to spite me, thunder grumbles outside. I wince, my shoulders sagging. "If you consider having to walk home in the rain 'okay', than in this downpour, I've practically won the lottery."

He laughs at my comment, shaking his head. "No worries, I'll give you a lift."

My heart stops.

"What?"

"I'll give you a ride home. Friends still do that, right?" he jokes, his eyes glimmering with laughter.

I nod slowly, in a daze almost. I'll never understand this man or maybe it's me that's the confusing mess. His offer is incredibly kind, but can I accept it? Do I want to be alone in a car with him? Do I want him to know where I live? My family isn't home; is this a good idea? I don't have time to think as he nods to the door.

"C'mon." Alec smiles.

I follow him down the hall, our conversation picking up where it left off. As we make our way to the student parking lot, the rain lets up for a moment as we cross the pavement to the back row near the edge of the woods. I bite my lip, the jury still out on my impression of Alec Mason, but I quickly decide he has great taste as he unlocks his car; a royal blue 1969 Chevrolet Camaro z28.

I don't know why, but I'd pinned him as the Lexus, hybrid type. I guess my surprise shows through as Alec rubs the back of his neck, smirking shyly. "I have a thing for classics."

Raising my palms in surrender, I shake my head as I approach the passenger side.

"No judgment." I say, a slight twinkle of a giggle in my tone. I grimace; I do not giggle. What's happening to me?

We climb in to the cab, that amazing new car scent greeting us. The interior is perfectly refurnished to black leather with white trim. I rest my backpack by my feet while Alec tosses his in to the backseat. I inspect the car while he revs the engine, taking in all the different features of the gorgeous cabin space.

I remember back to when my family and I still lived in Forks. Jake would take me on all sorts of crazy, automobile adventures. We found so many of cars like this, but in such bad condition that Jake would call them 'unfixable'. I didn't really like the way he turned them away because they didn't look so hot on the outside. I popped the hood on one of them in spite of him one day and I wish I could've taken a picture of the look on his face. He was completely astonished to find an updated engine in the damn thing; the entire car had been rusted over and was missing a tire. He said he'd fix the car up for me as a present for when I could drive, but he screwed up the engine before we left. He deemed that gorgeous vehicle 'unfixable'.

Alec pulls out of the parking lot and on to the main road. After a few minutes, he clears his throat and glances at me with a slight smile. "Where am I going?"

I blush, unsure of how he'll react to my place of residence. Ana told me how creepy it was throughout the whole damn ride, saying she shouldn't be surprised that the family of freaks lives in some weird house in the middle of nowhere. Of course, she added the "no offense" somewhere in her rant.

Swallowing my nerves, I force out a smile. "Just keep going. I'll tell you where to turn."

He accepts that and drives on. Soon, as it always seems to, conversation bursts out between us. I've never had an easy time talking to anyone, even my family. I used my gift, while improving since I was a child, specifically because I hated talking. I feel uncomfortable and awkward talking to people, but as I sit in this car beside a guy who is the reason behind so much confusion in my life at the moment, I can't imagine a conversation flowing any easier.

We talk about things we like and don't like and everything else in between. I relax in the seat, laughing my heart out at what he says. I've never experienced anything like this before.

By the time we pull in to the driveway of my home, I don't want to leave. That's strange, considering just a month ago I wanted to run away from this guy after a moment of being in his presence. I consider inviting him in, showing him around. It wouldn't be awkward since my family wouldn't pounce on him. I bite my lip, debating.

"Everything okay?" he asks, a heart stopping grin on his perfect face.

Nodding quickly, I offer a tight smile and look away from his captivating gaze. "Great, um… do you want to-I mean, you don't have to, I was just wondering if-but if you don't want to- I just…" I pause, letting out a breath before meeting his eyes. He's smiling, watching me with amusement. "Would you like to come in?"

Alec stares at me for a moment, licks his lips before a pained expression crosses his face. He cranes his head to look out the driver-side window as he runs a hand down his face, tilting his head to the left. "Maybe some other time." he murmurs, his voice strained.

My heart thuds in my chest and I drop my head. God, I'm so stupid. Why would I even ask? We barely know each other! Here I am, being a stupid little human inviting him in like it's a wedding proposal. Pathetic. I am so freaking pathetic.

I grab my backpack, feeling the tears burning in my eyes. I throw the door open, pausing for a millisecond.

"Thanks for the ride." I mutter, my voice shuttering with tears.

Rejection; I understand why it hurts now. I jump out of the car, doing my best not to slam the door as I make a break for the door. My keys are out of my bag before I can blink, but shaky hands don't make unlocking the knob an easy task. I force back the tears as I hear footsteps, agonizingly slow, making their way toward me. He stops just before the steps.

I glance back at him, "What?"

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.

I nod, looking away from him as I make another attempt at unlocking the door, but again, I miss. Dropping my backpack to the ground, I squeeze my eyes shut as I let out a heavy sigh through my nose. Alec is beside me the next moment, gently coaxing the keys from my hand. His palm is icy cold, like my family's, and I watch in a frozen daze as he unlocks the door. I look up to meet his gaze, realizing how close we are. His chilled-aqua irises flicker between my eyes and lips.

We stay like that for a while; I don't even know how long. I break first going to turn in to the house when he grasps my wrist. I look back at him and he pulls me out on to the porch again. In a distant world, I hear a door shut with a soft thud. I blink a few times, my body warming at my racing heartbeat. I choke back my puny, scared human side, letting Rebellious Renesmee out to play.

"Do you need something?" I ask, feeling the ghost of a smirk on my face.

Alec grins as he gently presses me in to the side of the house. My heart flares in my chest as one of his hands cups my cheek, his thumb brushing my lips. I feel a chilled grip on my hip. I relax, letting my arms hang by my sides as I watch indecision churn in his mind. Those eyes reveal his emotions for a second before they disappear and it's in that moment that I want him to show me everything. I want him to trust me with his feelings. I want to trust him with my feelings.

He leans close to my ear, cool breath tickling my skin as he whispers, "I like you, Renesmee… more than I should considering I hardly know you."

I let out a steady breath, closing my eyes and pretending that this is all a dream. I feel a bit of strength power through my blood, giving me the confidence to admit my own feelings. "I shouldn't like you; not the way I do, at least."

"Neither should I," he agrees.

Licking my lips, with a sense of courage still bleeding in to my soul, I guide his head back in front of me. Our gazes lock. The intensity of what lurks beyond those beautiful eyes frightens me, but sends a burst of thrill in to my core and I realize I'm willing to risk everything just to keep us in this moment.

We lean in at the same second, our mouths just a whisper from meeting. He finishes the job, brushing a gentle kiss across my lips. He steps away, leaving me in a fit of desperate frustration, but I can tell by the look on his face, that pained look, that he's just as stonewalled as I am. I let out a quiet sigh; it's for the best.

"I've got to go." He says, staring at me with pleading eyes.

I can't decide whether he's begging me to ask him to stay or… praying I don't.

I let him go, knowing things can get out of control and I still need to think about everything that just happened. This afternoon has yet to set in. I go to turn away, but quickly pull him in to a hug, needing to feel his arms around me one last time. His embrace is careful and cold, but there's an affection within it that stops my heart in its place. I retreat in the house without another word, stalking him from my bedroom window as he stares at the house. He shakes his head, turns to his car and disappears beyond the trees.

I am greeted by the unfamiliar feeling of a lonesome heartache.

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