Yes, two in one day! I wasn't expecting to finish this, but oh well, I did.

I swear, how fast I write is dependent on how trash the story is.

And so, in the spirit of 4/20 day, I present to you the story of Shintaro halllucinating. Enjoy?

KaNOT Stop KaNO

Shintaro's first job application went swimmingly.

Or at least, for Kano it did, because laughter is good for the mind. Genuine laughter, some say, can add years to your life span, because of serotonin's beneficial effects.

This made Shintaro want to throttle Kano all the more, just to take away all the decades of extra life he'd provided for the blonde. Needless to say, by any normal person's standards, the interview was disastrous.

It had all begun so peacefully, so normally, in the summer of Shintaro's first year at university.

Momo, trying to be the responsible little sister that she'd always wanted to become, cutting off Shintaro's entire miserly spending budget. Momo wanted him to get a part-time job, since his courses were too easy for him anyway. Shintaro was guaranteed to have tons of spare time, and Momo wanted him to use it productively.

Shintaro had had other plans though, things he'd wanted to do with the money and time. With the time he could spend by himself in his room, Shintaro had very elaborate activities mapped out. Shintaro was going to play video games, get caught up on the latest 2chan business and much much more. Shintaro was going to spend his free time in bliss, separated from his sister and the Dan by several hallways. Emphasis on the word was.

However, like all good dreams, it had to come to an end eventually. Sooner or later, Momo had to burst his bubble, releasing Shintaro to the wild world of "job hunting", a skill foreign to the genius, even if he'd read through extensive guides on the topic.

Social skills were one of the things that someone couldn't master through a high IQ and complete sensory recollection, or whatever Shintaro's eye ability was referred to. Personally Shintaro preferred complete sensory recollection, but Takane would, on occasion, jab at his manly pride by suggesting that maybe this "sensory recollection" would allow him to arouse himself at any point of time in the day.

Now, it wasn't as if Takane was wrong, but again, that was one of the abilities that Shintaro could never obtain, the unique power to tame the wild Takane Enomoto. Shintaro supposed maybe someday he'd get a mastery ball and his problems would all be over, but for now she was a nuisance. It was especially so when she'd do… routine check-ups on his room at the university, dropping by to sneak a peek at whatever it was Shintaro was doing.

And so Shintaro found himself seeking help from the master of part-time jobs: Kousuke Seto.

Unfortunately, Seto was busy. Between maintaining his previous two part-time jobs, university work and studying, the boy was a non-stop working machine. Especially with his volunteer work of helping to take care of Marry and Konoha, the boy really had his hands full.

On the other hand, Kano wasn't busy at all, and as the two were roommates and brothers, Kano knew exactly what Shintaro wanted. Being the (wicked) good Samaritan he was, Kano felt the need to drop by to help Shintaro prepare.

Thus, Kano invited himself in the day before the interview, with Shintaro too nervous to care.

"So are you looking forward to the interview?" Kano started up the conversation lightly, as if talking about whether or not to eat an apple rather than Shintaro's potential future private stash funding.

"No." Shintaro glared at the blonde.
"Why don't I help you?"

"That's funny. Now scram." Shintaro dismissed him, waving at him to shoo, like an owner with his cat. Kano on the other hand, was inclined to do no such thing.

"You know, I've gone into three job interviews before. I know the works. I could help out." Kano bragged, inspecting his nails like some stereotypical Western film officer.

"Really."

"Really. I KaNOT believe you're questioning me Shin-Shin. I thought we were friends!"

"Out." Shintaro pointed at the door, indicating very clearly that Kano wasn't welcomed in his dorm room. How was it that members of the Dan never came in when his roommate was here? It was truly suspicious.

"Okay, okay fine. But seriously now. Who better than to practice interviews with than the master of disguise himself? I can be anyone, anywhere, anytime."

"Fine. Can you try to run through a few basic questions?" Shintaro gave in to Kano. Well, not quite. Shintaro gave in to his inner anxiety and pessimistic beliefs, his thoughts that even for a small service job, he needed an extensively amazing appeal and interview, as well as resume.

"How's this?" Kano winked, eyes flashing red for a split-second.

"What." Shintaro stared at a mirror image of Kido, perfectly copied into a frilly pink maid apron.

"Not to your tastes? How about this?" Kano snapped his fingers. Before him, Shintaro saw his sister tied up, complete with chains, duct-tape and arms pinned behind the back.

"I'm done." Shintaro said simply, packing away his laptop and grabbing his bag.

"Sorry sorry!" Kano apologized, changing back into his regular self. The blonde clung to Shintaro's sleeve, holding him back.

"Are you going to be serious?" Shintaro asked quietly.

"Yes yes, sure I will. You're applying to Company Q right? Let's see…" Kano trailed off, snapping his fingers to change into a young-looking woman, resplendently dressed in a formal looking uniform. Her- his eyes were serious, mouth not upturned, not even a little.

It was as if Kano had become another person entirely, a performance so unnerving that Shintaro almost lost it. But this was Kano. There was no need to be nervous around Kano. With that, Shintaro sat down, back straight as a stick, hands folded neatly in his lap, resume in hands. Shintaro felt ready.

"I'll start with a few basic questions, if you will Mr. Kisaragi."

"Alright." Shintaro affirmed.

Shintaro watched Kano's illusion carefully, the creases around the mouth, the slight tensions made in the face, the muscle movements even. Kano must've had amazing concentration to maintain a constant misleading image, right down to the hairstyle and makeup. Kano had come up with every single little detail awfully fast, from the very slight accent from another dialect to the brand of her- his shoes.

"KaNOT you tell I KaNOT be KaNO?" The woman broke her cold, firm persona for the first time, revealing traces of the manipulator's own mischievous personality.

"Please."

"My apologies. Anyhow…"

Kano immediately became business-like, firing questions similar to those Shintaro had read about, showing textbook examples and responses. For all the irritation the blonde caused, when he wanted to Kano could be deadly serious, and maybe even helpful. Shintaro certainly came out of the mock interview feeling a lot more confident and relaxed at the thought of the real job interview.

So then the actual interview came, and Shintaro walked in, head held high and prepared. Then it struck him, in two different ways. Or rather, she did.

The woman interviewing him was the exact mirror image of Kano's persona from the mock interview. Did Kano know this woman? He had seemed familiar with the company… but that wasn't important. What was important was to present himself to this woman.

Coincidentally, the interviewer also had the exact same intonation as Kano had, pronunciation, accent, you name it. She wore the same clothing Kano conjured up, something nearly impossible to predict a full day before the interview. Yet again, Shintaro couldn't let that get to him. Even if the parallels were intentional, Shintaro couldn't let it get to him. He needed that money.

Almost anticlimactically, the interviewer asked the exact same questions that Kano had. Shintaro found himself falling into his groove, calming down to a completely relaxed state; he was at ease replying to this woman's words. After all, it was essentially the same conversation Shintaro had had with Kano the day earlier. It was almost too easy.

Then it all went wrong. It was such a simple thing, such a simple matter, but Shintaro somehow confused himself. How Shintaro managed it, he wasn't sure. But he blamed Kano for it, a hundred percent of the way.

It was the one break in the pattern, the one outlier from the rest of the points. It was one question that Kano had not legitimately asked, yet the interviewer asked it. Or rather, something very close, so very close that Shintaro lost it.

"I KaNOT fathom why you KaNO of this company, and given your qualifications, I also KaNOT understand why exactly you wish to apply for this position over the multitude of openings in other companies. KaNU enlighten me?"

To Shintaro's bleeding ears, it sounded like countless puns on Kano's name, amalgamated into a simple but deadly set of phrases. Unfortunately, that was when Shintaro lost his cool. The façade, the memory of the mock interview had overlapped with reality. To Shintaro, this was Kano. To Shintaro, this wasn't an interviewer, nor was he an interviewee. To Shintaro, this was just another disappointing joke of Kano's at something that Shintaro cared about.

"Shut up!" Shintaro raised his voice.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I will not excuse you Kano. You do this all the time. Ever since you came back from the park last month, it's always been yourname this, or yourname that. Frankly, I don't think anyone really cares for your name being stuck into every possible conversation. Can't you at least try?"

"Mr. Kisaragi, if you would."

"Why are you-… oh." It finally broke across to Shintaro that this woman wasn't Kano. He had known from the beginning, but somewhere in the mirrored speeches, the copied questions, the endless parallel connections, Shintaro had forgotten this oh-so-important detail.

"Yes 'oh', Mr. Kisaragi. I do not believe we require your services here at Company Q. If you would see yourself out, that would be most pleasant."

"Sorry! I'm so sorr-"

"Please excuse yourself. I do not feel that Momo Kisaragi's older brother would like to be seen being manually hauled out, yes?"

With that, Shintaro wordlessly left in shame, having miserably failed his first and only job interview.

What was worse was having to explain why he was kicked out to the rest of the Dan. It was one thing saying that to say that you didn't do well because you weren't very experienced in people to people conversations with strangers. It was another thing entirely to go over how you managed to switch up one of your closest enemies with a stranger and try to lecture your interviewer as a result.

Shintaro did come out of the experience with one very tasty tidbit of knowledge though.

Never trust the wild Kano in his natural deceiving habitat. It's like foraging through tall grass with a level one rat; don't do it.

As another note, the puns wouldn't work in Japanese, because whatever the interviewer would've been saying probably wouldn't have worked out so well. Meep.