Chapter 12- Going Under
-Josef's Apartment-
(Josef's POV)
I could still hear her screaming in my head. I think that hearing that hurt me more than actually getting staked.
I was sitting in my apartment, alone, drinking a glass of AB . I had left work soon after the staking incident. Not because it hurt, or anything, just because I kept seeing her screaming, on the floor of her apartment. It kept flashing through my mind, I honestly don't think I could forget it.
I can't explain why I did what I did. I should have never marked her. I don't know why I can't seem to control myself around her. It doesn't make sense. I've never lost control like that with any woman I'd been with.
And I've been with a lot.
For some reason Toni got under my skin, she bothered me. Touched me in places she shouldn't. I knew a lot of it was lust, but there was something else growing there too. Something I didn't want to face, but I knew I would have to soon.
"I really hate you"
That sentence had gone through my mind a lot also. I knew at that point she meant it. She hated me, she hated me for what I'd done, for what I am, for everything.
She just plain hated me.
And honestly, I hated myself for what I had done. Due to my mistake, I had ruined her life. Her normal life was screwed up because of me, and it could never get back to normal.
I knew that, and it made me sick to think about.
-Toni's Apartment-
(Toni's POV)
When I woke up the next morning my head was still pounding. I knew I would never make it to class like this. It was amazing how he was perfectly fine on the phone yesterday, like nothing had happened, yet I was still having effects from it.
I guess vampires have a higher pain tolerance that humans...I don't know, I could ask dad sometime when my heads not throbbing like I've been beaten by a baseball bat.
I climbed out of bed and walked to my bathroom. I was sore everywhere, it felt like I had gotten into a fight, and gotten my ass kicked.
The hot shower felt good on my skin, maybe scalding water will burn some of the pain out.
I doubt it.
I ended up sitting on the floor of the shower. I didn't want to think about anything at this point, I just wanted all the pain to stop. I was hurting everywhere.
I had told him that I hated him, and he believed me, I could tell by the way he responded. I defiantly don't hate Josef, I hate what he's done to me, but I don't hate him. I don't think I could ever actually hate him. He would have to do something much worse to make me hate him.
Much, much, worse.
I started crying, I don't know if it's because of the pain or because of the stress the last month or so had caused. All I know is it felt good. It's not often that you can say being curled up in a ball on the shower floor while scalding hot water pours down on you feels good. But it did, all of it, the crying, the water, the hard floor. It felt amazing. I didn't want it to end.
"You win, I give up." I didn't know if he was listening. I hoped he was, that's not particularly a sentence I want to repeat.
It wasn't long before the water turned cold. It still sat there. I didn't want to move.
I remember when I was little, my mom was teaching me how to ride horses, I asked her why when a horse was trained they said he was 'broke'. She said because in order to train the horse you have to break his spirit. I never understood...
Until now.