Hey, guys, Wensleydale here. Thank you for sticking with me all this time and enjoy the next chapter!
RESPONSE PORTION:
Rhi Rhi: I thought you might like the Barbrady part. I feel like I should flesh him out more. On the other hand, he did have episodes devoted to himself, soooo...
Coyote: Sorry to hear about your situation. Wait, so the fact that I'm posting on Saturday is preventing you from reviewing a couple of days later…? I don't get it.
John: I've corrected Chapter 2 basing on your suggestions. Bebe might be exaggerating a bit, but I do admit I like to go a little over-the-top when constructing my characters. Improbable quirks and uniqueness come first, humanity and relatability arrive later on (despite being equally important). I don't know if it's a bad trait for a comedy writer or not.
Demonlord5000: Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum!
I'm Lola Bar-bra-dy
And I am proud to be
Right back in South Park Aargh
With my friend, Mr. T!
There's old friends and new friends and even a Sue!
How is that related? I just have no clue!
I'm bringing ran-dom back
Now everywhere I go!
You can screw Wen-sley-dale,
This is The Lola Show!
Does it have the same ring to it? I can't tell.
ConnietheI'mrunningoutofideas: Sure, now that I've finally found your profile I'll finally be able to take a look at your stuff! I'll PM you as soon as time allows me.
[We see a plane take off from the Seattle airport. Stan looks out of the window and sighs, while Lola's mouth in the next window forms a giant "o" in awe. We cut to the inside of the plane, where some rows more at the front of the plane we see a Japanese father and son taking pictures of the faraway ground with their cameras. Behind them, we see Red reaching out her camera above them and taking some pictures of them herself. Heidi, sitting right next to her, raises her eyebrow. We cut back to Stan, still in a skeptical mood]
BEBE: [sitting right next to him] Oh, cheer up, Stan. We'll get them soon enough. We're bound to catch up by plane as long as they're travelling by ship...
STAN: It's not that, it's just... We've basically accomplished nothing. Thanks to Heidi's aunt we could fly to Anchorage, but what next? We've got no plan!
BEBE: Come on, it's not all that bad. If we wait in the port for the same guy, we'll be sure to find where he took Sparky.
STAN: You know, this relies on way too many coincidences... Urgh, I should've just gone by myself...
BEBE: [glares] Well, thanks a lot. We're sacrificing a lot of time by aiding you on this trip and all you do is complain. You have no consideration for other people's feelings! This is exactly the reason why Wendy left you!
STAN: [rolls his eyes] Goddammit, we're not starting this again, are we?
BEBE: See? You're insensitive! And that's only the tip of the iceberg!
STAN: [pinches the bridge of his nose] I don't care.
BEBE: That's right! You never know the right moment when to care and think it's the answer to everything! You say you hate your family and yet you keep talking about them! Moreover, you always have to be the center of the attention!
[We briefly cut to the Turner residence, where we see Jason and Powder doing homework together. Jason suddenly stops moving]
POWDER: What's the matter?
JASON: Nothing... I just got a feeling someone was talking about me...
[Meanwhile, back in the plane]
BEBE: I mean, really! During your relationship was there ever a point where you said something nice to Wendy?
[There is a moment of silence]
STAN: ...Maybe? Look, enough about Wendy! With all due respect, I won't take advice from someone who wanted my best friend only for his buttcheeks.
BEBE: Oh, no, we're not changing the subject! Speaking of, you could at least have complimented her buttcheeks!
STAN: I'm... pretty sure she wouldn't take it as a comp-
MILLY: [from behind, interrupting] Fellas! Come here, y'all!
STAN: ...We're right in front of you, Milly.
MILLY: Figure of speech, never mind about that! You'uns have to help me! Lola's gone off to the wing!
STAN: ...What the hell does that even mean?
MILLY: Well, ye know! She's gone off to the wing!
BEBE: You have to tone down your redneck sayings if you want us to understand you, you know?
MILLY: Naw, Ahm sayin' she's literally gone off to the wing!
HEIDI: I hate it when people use the word "literally" and don't know what it means...
MILLY: Ah know what it means, Ah just- Oh, just look to y'all's left!
[The other four turn their heads, only to see Lola almost flying through the air while holding the wing of the plane with all her might and grinning, her cheeks flapping back and forth like a sail. She seems to be affected by neither the low temperature, nor the incredible pressure. We cut back to the plane, where all the others are staring through the window open-mouthed]
STAN: Oh. That happened.
[We now cut to Wendy strolling back home. Suddenly, Kenny blocks her way]
WENDY: Oh. Kenny, hi. Excuse me.
[She tries to go past him, but he prevents that from happening]
WENDY: Hey, what the hell is your problem?
KENNY: (Dude, what the hell? What are you doing to uncle Jimbo?)
WENDY: What?
KENNY: (You're changing him! You turned him from a masculine hunter to a vegan pussy treehugger! What you're doing is wrong!)
WENDY: Kenny, calm down! It was his own choice-
KENNY: (Bullshit! You're manipulating him, just like you used to manipulate Stan!
WENDY: I never manipulated Stan!
KENNY: (Oh, yeah? Maybe you'll tell me he started wearing tight pants on his own?)
WENDY: ...That's different! Look, Kenny, let's not be childish. He's the same Jimbo you used to know, he just cares more about the environment!
KENNY: (Again, bullshit! The old Jimbo would shoot bunnies up without a second glance! That's the Jimbo we all know and love! I know there's still a real hunter within him and I won't rest until I turn him back!
WENDY: Oh, no, you don't I worked hard to convince him to quit that life! We even had a montage and everything!
KENNY: (So you did manipulate him!)
WENDY: I didn't! And you won't persuade him, he's a permanent environmentalist now!
KENNY: (You wanna bet?)
WENDY: Oh, please, I'd bet all my savings on Jimbo's conversion!
KENNY: (So would I on his true nature!)
WENDY: Fine!
[Beat]
WENDY: ...So, ten bucks?
KENNY: (Okay.)
[The Anchorage port. We see shots of Stan's rescue team standing and freezing in separate spots in the area. Stan approaches Bebe, Milly following him]
STAN: So. We'll be sure to catch him, huh?
BEBE: Oh, shut up.
[They remain in silence for a while. Milly tries to break the tension, unsure]
MILLY: So… Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra in January, ain't it?
[Another awkward pause]
MILLY: ...Uh, Ah used to have a pet rabbit for a lil' while. He was a right ornery one, though. Always would run away from me.
BEBE: Well, duh, animals do that when they don't know you, right? That's nothing out of the ordinary.
STAN: Actually… Sparky and I became friends right away. As did Kyle's elephant when we met him.
BEBE: Oh, come on, that's just impossible! We're talking about a pet imported from Africa. I could imagine he'd be just traumatized.
STAN: I don't know how it happened, either. Maybe I'm just that good with animals.
RED: [joining them along with Lola and Heidi from the opposite side] Hey, guys, remember how you told us to stay in one place and try to spot the cute Asian guy?
BEBE: Yeah?
RED: Well, I didn't do it. Instead, I asked people round this place if they had seen him. I showed this guy the picture and he seemed excited about something.
STAN: Who?
RED: Him.
[She points at an elderly man in an overall]
RED: We think he's a shipyard worker or something.
BEBE: You think?
HEIDI: None of us can understand a word he says. Except for Lola, who says she can understand him telepathically.
LOLA: [trying to unscrew her skull with her index fingers] I AM A SORCERER!
BEBE: Oh, come on, it can't be as bad as all that.
WORKER: [a bunch of unintelligible gibberish] Thertfrellerwrrsswrtharrrwreeee!
STAN: ...Yeah, see what you mean.
BEBE: [faces Milly with a serious look on her face] Milly. This is your chance to shine. You'll have to use your redneck language and find out where the kidnapper went.
MILLY: [frowns] Really, do y'all see me as just a redneck? Ah mean, you have been mah friend fer all this time and that's all you know about me?
HEIDI: Heavens above, Milly, there's no time! Just translate what this man says!
MILLY: You know, Ah go to drama classes. Ah have other interests. And all y'all do is associate me with the most superficial stereotypes. Y'all don't treat me with a dern lick of respect!
STAN: Milly, stop being an asshole and help us out.
[There is a moment of silence]
MILLY: [turns around and approaches the worker] ...Goddammit.
[We see Randy's pack of naked men chasing a cat (on all fours, naturally) in the neighbourhood]
RANDY: There it is, guys! Get him!
[The others bark and howl. Sharon, shoveling the snow outside the Marsh residence, glances at her husband]
RANDY: Oh, hey, Sharon! Can't talk right now, chasing cats! I just became the leader of the pack, but Darling's constantly undermining my efforts! He doesn't know I buried his favourite bone next to Tom's Rhinoplasty, though!
SHARON: Sooo… Any sign of Sparky yet?
RANDY: Who? Oh, right, nah, nothing! Gotta get back to being a dog!
SHARON: [sighs] Sure. Whatever you feel like.
[We cut to a familiar van entering a warehouse. An elderly, near-bald man with poofy hair in a labcoat (the man, not the hair) approaches the truck. Faithful watchers of the show will notice he's Dr. Vosknocker from "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut". Vladimir meets him halfway through]
VOSKNOCKER: Great job! Now, unload them, quickly! Take half straight to the laboratory!
BEARDED ASIAN GUY: [from the truck] Including boss' special delivery?
VOSKNOCKER: Obviously!
VLADIMIR: What about de revard?
VOSKNOCKER: That doesn't concern me in the slightest, to be frank! Ask the boss, if you dare!
VLADIMIR: Yorr a clever man, Doctor Vosknocker... You know as much as I do everybody fears de boss... Just remember... I can turn heem against you just as easily as you can against me.
VOSKNOCKER: [without looking away] I'm glad we both understand that, chap.
[We cut to the rescue team members, hidden behind a row of crates]
STAN: Well, that was convenient.
BEBE: I wonder what this boss guy is like. Sounds ridiculously powerful from what they're saying.
STAN: Okay, this is what we're gonna do. Sparky's gotta be in one of these crates. We still don't know whether he's this "special delivery" this guy was talking about, but we can't afford to take any chances. Heidi, you're in charge here, try to check if he's in here or not. Try to stop Lola from doing anything stupid and let me know if we're in danger.
HEIDI: [rolls her eyes] Urgh.
STAN: I'll take it as "roger". Me, Bebe, Milly and Red are gonna try getting into the lab.
BEBE: Good luck, you guys!
LOLA: Ooh! Ooh! I'll send you a telepathic message if anything goes wrong!
STAN: Yeah, let's hope it won't have to come to that.
[We see the four children sneaking along the underground tunnel and approaching a safety door]
MILLY: Ah think the crates were carried here.
STAN: [rolls his eyes] Thanks, we wouldn't have noticed, being right behind you and all. Okay, we're going in!
BEBE: [looking in another direction] Sure, but why's Bill Allen here?
STAN, RED and MILLY: What?
[We indeed see Bill Allen in the corridor, talking with someone on the phone with his eyes averted. We again cut to the four kids hiding behind the corner]
RED: What's he doing?
BEBE: I dunno, but I intend to find out! [leaves the hiding place and approaches the boy]
STAN: [tries to stop her, but fails] No, no, wait! Goddammit… [to the rest] Okay, you two go in, we'll catch up, all right?
[The two nod and Stan goes after Bebe, who has already somewhat pinned the panicking Bill to the wall through sheer force of will… or possibly just surprise]
BEBE: Hey… So, Bill, we were just walking by and couldn't help but notice you're in some kind of a criminal base. Now, you could just tell us what's going on and why you're here, or we could do… something extreme. Like tell on you.
BILL: [laughing nervously] Uhuhuhuh… Gay?
BEBE: [glancing briefly at Stan] I thought he was, but he proved otherwise. Now tell us everything!
STAN: Dude, Bebe! We need to keep quiet!
BEBE: Oh, just relax, what are they gonna do-
[She pauses, realising there is a tranquiliser dart in the side of her neck. When she falls down with a thud, we see another one shot at Stan, who quickly follows the blonde in the realm of Morpheus. The screen abruptly fades to black]
Heidi's aunt is a pilot. I could not fit that anywhere without it just seeming like needless exposition, so let's count that as trivia. I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I can't leave a longer commentary, I'm really sleepy today.
Anyway, thank you all for reading, all your support and if you want, why don't you leave a review?
Cheers,
WDC