A/N: I swore to myself when I started writing this I wouldn't abadnon it and leave you guys without an ending. So sticking to my promise-or whatever I have returned. The book is shortened due to the fact I just need to complete this before I give up on it entirely. I orginally had a sequel in mind, but that isn't seeming like a possibility. Instead–unless I change my mind–I will be writing the last few chapters. I have three more, maybe four depending how I split the second one. Some are already written, so it'll be quick–I hope.

Thank you all for sticking with me. Sorry for th long wait.

No copyright intended; I don't own Terra Nova or any of its charcter's just my OC Natalie.

It was the drugs. That was the first thing that popped into her head, and probably the worst. In the line of excuses it actually wasn't the worst she could conjure, she thought medicine impairing her judgment would be one of the best. In all fairness the doctor did say it could impair her ability to do think clearly, but she also added if she were to show symptoms she most likely would've already.

An explanation wasn't necessary. If she was caught being absent from the house, where she was would be figured out in minutes. Then any trust built, any relationship they had would evaporate. She would be on house arrest again, possibly thrown in the brig. Which made all the more sense for her to not leave, to not sentence herself to the same torture she faced years ago. But she never learned from her mistakes. She never could differ right from wrong, and for that she would always make the wrong choice. Even if it killed her.

No one paid attention to her. In a different lifetime, where she was the prized daughter, not the long lost daughter everyone despised, she would have to be more careful. Take more abandoned routes, climb through more worksites, wear more hoods and neutral colors. But now it didn't matter. All she had to dodge was the very few people on watch for her, and security cameras.

The security around the fence was almost sad. A part of her hoped they would increase it over the years in order to protect them from the real dangers that lurked in the wild, but it never did. She spotted a few more cameras around the perimeter near one of her exits, but she could exit almost anywhere. As long as there were no soldiers.

It was a quick escape through the fence. The number of times she rolled under that gate would surpise her mother, and disappoint both the commander and lieutenant. She never told them about her visits, or how many, but if they bothered to they could attempt to stitch the security footage together and get a round number. It wouldn't be accurate, though. Probably half of the actual number. Because they didn't know she went back and forth multiple times a day.

It's why it became muscle memory, just like climbing a tree or running through the forest. She'd done it so many times–countless times–it was almost a function.

The amount of relief that flooded her body the moment she was free was astounding. Leaving a place–a safe place–shouldn't cause her to feel so relaxed. In fact it should do the opposite.

She never understood why she was the way she was. Why she always chose the wrong thing, but it always felt right; why she hated her mother and why she thought of living Terra Nova, but at night her dreams always brought her to a time where she is happy with her mother and Taylor in Terra Nova.

See never told Wash what she dreamt of. It was just another thing left unspoken.

|~Brother or Mother~|

The survey team was within hearing range when she got the alert pulling her attention away from the bickering colonists. She was planning on interfering in the debate which seemed to be going on for the past fifteen minutes, but she'd been off with one of her boys when it started. She just got back literally two minutes ago and was already to shot one in the kneecap. She typically wasn't this short-tempered, but this was not what she had in mind when she agreed to this detail. She could never predict the outcome, ever and she wasn't about to turn down an order, but she forgot just how annoying these scientists were.

At least when one was hitting on her.

She flicked her watch over, dismissing the alert having already received it and understood exactly what it meant. She figured this would happen, she expected it to happen. She just never imagined it would hurt as much as it did.

The first time it made sense. She was young, naive and fell for everything he said. The second time, this time, it didn't, but at the same time it did. Her daughter made it clear Terra Nova wasn't home anymore, and she felt more at home, more at peace alone in the wild.

That's why the choice was so clear. It was bound to happen. No matter how hard she tried to prevent it, she never could. At least not in a pleasant way or a way that would make Natalie hate her no more than she already did. She would be a prisoner, and no matter how much she wanted to protect her, she wouldn't let her feel trapped. She knew that feeling, she knew what it was like being a prisoner, and she wouldn't let her daughter suffer through the same experience. Even if they were different circumstances with different forms of tortures.

But, a part of her couldn't just stand by and do nothing. She knew she would be helpless till they got back from the outpost, but she needed an answer. She needed to know whether she was home...or had left to find her home.

She just hoped it was a malfunction.

|~Brother or Mother~|

The trek back home was a long one.

Pass between the two trees, cross the rocky path, weave through the maze of weeds, climb diagonally across a hill and hop through the field of overgrown vegetation. She took her time with the endeavor, taking slow steps and deep breathes. She knew there was a difference between the air in 2149 and here, but for some reason it felt so much clear out here. Like for once she could actually breathe.

Freedom.

That was the only word that came to mind. She was finally free. She could go wherever she wanted, do whatever she wanted...be whatever she wanted. And she knew exactly where to begin celebrating her newfound freedom.

She passes the lake, the finally landmark standing in between her and her home. It wasn't much, pure rock with some moss growing on either side, and a few pieces laying on the ground from where she attempted to cover up the entrance to the cave. It was hardly enough to be counted as home, but her unit in Terra Nova wasn't her home. Terra Nova wasn't her family. But what was?

Home was where the heart lies, where your family was stationed and she had neither. No home, no family–at least not in Terra Nova. She made her own family, she adjusted as she accepted the fact her mother would never look at her the same, never care for her the same, never love her the same.

Once they'd been close, then reality hit and it had never been so brutal.

Natalie zigzagged up the 3 foot mountain pathway and climbed into the small opening she called a door.

The first step inside the cave felt absurdly different. Her stomach clenched and she swallowed deeply. Her fingers stopped scrapping the surrounding rocks that kept the cave's roof from caving in and gripped the hard wall while her opposite hand balled up in a fist unconsciously.

She went out here to be alone. She used to hid here for a while trying to sort out her thoughts–trying to convince herself not to go back home. She never brought Lucas here, it was her peace of solitude she hid away similar to the many things he hid from her. Only difference was hers wasn't a crime. Despite the fact he never stepped foot in the cave she still felt haunted by his presence. It actually scared her, what if he'd been in here? The only thing that scared her more than her earlier thought was that she was terrified he might've found her hideout. A place that once, in the near future she had the intention on showing Lucas.

Things change. People change.

That didn't change that part in her chest saying she didn't want that. All she wanted was the little boy she once knew.

The tension in her body started to release once her eyes landed on the moss hanging from the walls, decorating them a dark shade of green that appeared darker than it truly was due to the limited rays of light hitting the section. The ceiling was painted in a much darker green and her chest bubbled with anticipation. It may not be what she was looking for, but it was something.

She didn't see anything after that, at least for a while. The cave just got darker and darker as the opening behind her started to shrink, and the distant between them grew larger.

Each time she gazed back between the entrance and the path ahead, her body returned to its previous state getting even more nervous. She wasn't scared of what she would find in there. There was nothing in there that she didn't know about, except if a snake slithered it's way into its cave. Then they're in trouble, she'll kill the damn thing I'd she has to. It was the only thing she feared worse than a Veliocirapter.

Natalie shuddered, and focused on the more pressing matter. She knew how these creatures behaved, when which animal would've smelt her arrival and come to greet her upon her arrival. But none had. The pit in her stomach grew each time her feet hit the ground.

|~Brother or Mother~|

The comm. was out of Wash's hand and turned on all in a flash, in a motion that was clearly practiced. It clicked, her hand still holding tight on the device, as if it was her daughter's life in the line. Because in a sense it was.

She didn't call Reynolds. She trusted him, and cared for him, but the boy didn't know anything about situation. He knew what he'd heard from the rumors around the colony, but they never discussed Natalie, because it was always too personal.

Her finger tapped a steady beat on the comm. as she waited for an answer. She had already tried Shannon's device now she just had to wait for him to answer.

"Wash?" He didn't bother to hide his surprise about her sudden call. She was suppose to check-in, but she did so before Taylor left and didn't have to do so till he got back from his trip OTG.

"Shannon, I need you drop by my place and check on Natalie." The urgency in her tone didn't go missed by him. Neither did the fact it wasn't a request, in fact an order if she needed it to.

Jim couldn't help but be concerned. An out of the blue call was never good, and by the way Wash was proposing it, something was wrong with Natalie.

He was busy–running a colony wasn't as easy as it seemed, but he wouldn't leave his friend hanging. Especially if she was this worried about her daughter.

"Will do, anything else? You seem tense." He was trying to pry and get her to answer these questions. His detective skills were already at work but without her here it was harder to solve the mystery.

"I'm fine." She dismissed it like it was nothing. "Let me know if-how she is. Washington out."

The connection cut and a deafening silence filled the space, leaving Shannon with the question of what was she going to say, and Wash the question of what if she's not home?

Let me know what you think. Next chapter will be up in the next couple of days.