Chapter 20- Leaving On a Jet Plane

I was leaving today. I really didn't want to.

I never got to go eat at my dads house, he never called me. I guess he was pouting...He'd get over it.

Josef was fast asleep while I was packing, he made me promise to wake him up when I was done. He still hadn't told me what he told my dad. Why was it such a big damn deal? What was he hiding from me?

I sighed, why did I always assume the worst? Couldn't it have been something totally sweet, and he's just not the type to tell me?

I doubted it.

I just don't see Josef thinking of me that way. I'm really not sure what he thinks of me, was I just an easy lay, or did he actually feel something for me.

The connection allowed me to feel his sexual attraction to me, but nothing else...I wonder if it was the same for him? I hope he doesn't know what I feel for him...that would be embarrassing. I didn't want to be the girl who's in love with the guy, who's only around for sex. That wasn't me.

Maybe it was a good thing I was going home today...if not, my feelings would just get stronger, and he would defiantly know it.

All I want to do is go in there and threaten him with a flame thrower to make him tell me what he told my dad. But something tells me that wouldn't work out well...

I zipped up my small bag, this weekend had really flown by...why do the good ones always go by so quickly?

I grabbed the coat he had wrapped around me the first time I was in the freezer. I stood in front of the door for a while, I didn't want to go in, the sooner I go in, the sooner I would have to leave.

He had wanted to stay up this morning, spend the last few hours with me, but I told him he needed his sleep, and to get his ass to sleep.

Shockingly, he listened.

The door handle was freezing on my hand, the blast of cold air sent shivers down my spine, even with his big coat.

I walked over and looked down at him sleeping in the freezer...and I realized if I woke him up, it would make it even harder to leave.

"Shit..."

If I woke him up, I would probably never leave, I already didn't want to. I backed out slowly, hoping he hadn't heard me. I shut the door quietly and listened for movement from inside the room.

Nothing. The room was dead silent.

I picked up my bag and literally ran down the stairs.

I guess I would have to call a cab.

-Later-

It was nearly 8:30 when I got home to my apartment. I knew that Josef normally woke up at around sixish, which meant, with the time difference...he would be waking up soon.

Damn, I wasn't looking forward to that. I knew he would be angry, and I knew I would feel it, I really didn't want to scream and Julie or anything. That would suck. The two puppies were curled up on my bed, fast asleep. I need to make sure I'm no where near them when he gets angry, I didn't want to hurt them. I knew when he got angry, I couldn't control myself.

I set by bag down on my desk and started pulling my clothes out.

At the bottom of the bag was his shirt that I had been sleeping in. It smelt like him, and I just couldn't bear to leave it.

So I stole it. I figured he had so many he wouldn't even notice. And if he did, then he had a reason to come see me to get it back.

I felt a weird energy course through me, and I knew he was awake. Everyday when he wakes up, I know it.

I felt several things at once: hunger, tiredness, and confusion. He knew what time it was, and he also knew my plane had left many hours ago. He was confused as to why I hadn't woken him up.

I bit my lip, and waited for his anger to over power me. But it never came. Instead I felt something weird, an emotion I had never felt from him before.

Sadness.

I had hurt him by not telling him bye, he was sad because I had left and didn't tell him goodbye.

The feeling lasted for barely a minute before I felt the connection close. He was trying to block me out, he didn't want me to know I had hurt him.

At that moment, I knew I had misjudged Josef. Maybe he did have feelings for me?