I'm so sorry guys, i wanted to update on Wednesday last week, i really did but unforeseen circumstances didn't allow me to update. My parents car broke down and i needed to go back to help them so i couldn't update at all. To make up for that i'm going to update today and wednesday to keep you guys happy and if i don't update on wednesday for whatever reason i will personally pm everyone of my followers and say i'm sorry. So are you guys ready for a double week. Here it is the Chapter you've been waiting for.

Chapter 5

I couldn't believe it, she was gone, the second person I loved Slade has taken away. My heart is aching for her, the only other time i felt this way was That day with Terra. I don't know if i can go through this again, going into a spiral of depression but this time without her to lift me out of it. Tears form in my eyes threatening to fall. Why couldn't i save her, i'm such an idiot Robin would have saved her, so would have Cyborg or Starfire, but not worthless ole' me.

Robin said something to me but i didn't listen i was too wrapped up in my own bubble of depression and only one person can pop it. The only person that isn't here was the only one that could save me from myself. So I sit in the back of the T-car, still not trusting my own abilities and ignore the encouraging words from the rest of the team. We start to drive and I dejectedly look out the window trying to distract myself from the so obvious pain in my chest, with tears still in my eyes. After what seemed like an eternity we arrive back at the tower. I get out and walk straight to my room wanting to be alone, however the team caught up with me.

"Beast Boy i'm sorry about Raven…," Robin begins," But we will get her back i promise."

I look at him with no emotion in my face, trying to put up a mask of calm like he was doing.

"I know how you feel," Robin continues.

This sets me over the edge and all of my filters were turned off from that point on.

"YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?" I mock him at the top of my lungs," YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD,"

I continue with my rant,"Tell me Robin has your heart ever been ripped out, chew up and put back into your chest upside down, cause i'm pretty sure you haven't. So don't say you know how i feel when you could not possibly know."

"I DON'T?" Robin challenged back," Do you remember parents dying in front of you Beast Boy because i do, I watched as the Joker killed them I remember what their last moments looked like. You want to talk about loss, Raven is captive, meaning we can save her and bring her back you can't bring back someone who is dead."

I'm taken aback by his words, I always knew that he lost his parents and that's why Batman took him in but I never knew he watched them die. His remark shook me to my very core and with that friction came a spark of hope. Raven can still be saved, heat radiated throughout my body when i realized this. I can still save her, this played over and over in my mind, allowing me to think clearly for the first time since the hospital.

"You're right Robin I'm sorry for being so selfish," I admitted to him. His face softened and Starfire and Cyborg were looking between us with anticipation.

"Hey, its fine i know how much she means to you. That's why we will spend every waking moment looking for her," He said softly,"But right now we need to regroup."

"Yes, we shall find Raven, but I am the hungry," Starfire chimed in.

"Yeah, don't worry BB we'll find her," Cyborg beamed at me.

They all head to the common room probably for food. Starfire turns around and sees me still in the same spot.

"Friend Beast Boy, are you not coming?" Starfire asked.

"Not now Star, i'm not really hungry," I told her.

She nodded her head and floated back to the direction of the common room. I headed into my room trying to get rid of the pain of my chest by writing. I pulled out my journal, feeling disgusted that Slade somehow read it. I turn to a new page grab a pencil and begin to write whatever comes to my mind.

Day 19

Raven, my beauty, gray for your skin so delicate and rare that no one else in the universe has it so fair. Purple for your hair so fine and eyes so mesmerizing. Blue for your cloak and favorite color that most other girls wouldn't dare. My Blue, purple, gray beauty, please forgive me for allowing Slade to capture you and me not being able to save you. *A drop falls on the paper soaking up a small part of the page and I realize i'm crying tears are in streams down my face but i can't stop writing now.* But I promise with everything in my heart that I will get you back. Not only that but i'm also going to be straightforward with you the next time i get the chance and if you are reading this then i succeeded in rescuing you. I Love you more than anything in the entire world. I love you more than tofu, more than jokes and more than video games, I would eat meat the rest of my life if you would just come back to me right now. I know that is impossible but i promise with every waking breath that i will search for you until i found you. I Love you so much.

Beast Boy (Aka Garfield)

I close my Journal putting it back in my desk. Feeling much better i head to the common room looking for Robin to tell him of the clues Slade left me. I enter the common room and notice a lack of Robin. I confused i go up to Cyborg who is eating a triple meat pizza slice.

"Cyborg do you know where Robin is?" I question Cyborg while ignoring my gag reflex.

"Where do you think he is when Slade is involved?" He asked with a mouthful of pizza.

"Oh right, Thanks Cyborg," I say rushing away.

Cyborg said something but i wasn't listening, I was too intent on finding Robin. I show up at his work room and open the door and all I see is a hunched over Robin saying things like "What are you up to?" and "Why take Raven?". The last thing i heard from him was "Where are you hiding?" I chimed in at this moment.

"Slade told me to go to his old lair, said he was laying out a trail of breadcrumbs for me to find Raven," I replied to his rhetorical question.

I took him off guard but he replied just as fast,"Sounds like a trap and I can't have anyone else on this team getting hurt."

"But, its our only lead and i can't wait weeks while you figure this out," I retort back.

"I can't risk it," He defends.

"But you can risk being Red X and steal stuff to get to Slade?" I challenge back.

"That was different," he says.

"You're right, it was worse. At least now we arent being criminals," I smirk.

Realizing he lost he gives in,"Your right we will go in a few hours,"

"Thank you," i say as i walk through the door back to my room.

"Slade i'm coming for you and I won't show mercy," I say to myself.