The night before she is set to be released Myka lays on the bed running her hands through the dark locks of the woman sound asleep beside her. Myka tells no one about the nightmares that have been hounding her more and more. She doesn't talk about the pit expanding at an alarming rate in her stomach when she realizes using the necklace takes away so much. There will be so many things she will never get to do, so many things she will never get to see. She doesn't talk it over with Helena, because she knows the woman pretending to be content with her decision will jump and never relent the moment Myka presents the possibility of a fight.
Myka shifts in her bed and when she finally accepts that sleep has abandoned her for the night she carefully moves the sleeping woman off of herself and onto the pillow. Myka pulls on Helena's shirt lying on the ground and moves to stand by the window waiting for dawn to break. Her mornings are numbered but the artifact will mean only seven more and Myka cannot fathom the idea of having just seven more mornings waking up next to Helena. She looks over at her, her own beating heart matching the rise and fall of her lover's.
She chuckles when she pauses to count the number of times they have been walked in on. One would assume that they would learn to lock the door by now but the flustered young nurse who ran out the room last night would say differently. She wonders if their kids will be the same but before she can finish the thought she stops herself. She will never have kids, not with Helena or anyone else.
It is not the thought of dying that finally gets to her, it the thought of never living out her life. There is so much she wants. She does not remember when she rolled over and decided to take it lying down. Myka has always been one to fight. She can feel the rhythm of her heart pick up when she shakes Helena awake.
The woman looks back at her with half open eyes groggily awake.
"I'll try the chemo."
"What?" Helena sits up suddenly at full attention and pulls the sheets over herself.
"I'll do it. If there is a chance I can grow old with you I want it. I want a backyard full of laughing kids. I want to watch your gorgeous hair turn grey. I want to spoil our grandkids with you. I want to explore this world with you. I want to wake up next to you for as many days as I can. I want to hear you whisper I love you and kiss me for many more mornings than just seven. And if that is the slightest bit possible I want it. I want you forever, Helena, or as long as I can."
"Myka-"
"But," Myka raises her hand to cut her off, "if it doesn't work. If the first round doesn't work I'm done. No more protests. No more fighting. I'm done. You have to promise me that because I have a hard enough time saying no to you already. So please, Helena, just promise me you'll stop pushing. I want to fight but I do not want to be sicker. I want to die as myself."
"I promise," Helena smiles. "I promise"
Myka forces Helena to go home for the night assuring her she'll be fine on her own. Helena relays the good news and quotes her exact words when she gives the message to Pete, "I am not a child, that would be Pete. Tell him to come by in the morning and bring me some twizzlers."
Pete whines about weird vibes but finally settles down when Claudia snipes at him.
They all settle down in the living room after dinner with a celebratory cup of hot coca, curtsey of Abigail. Claudia lies on the couch with her head in Helena's lap and her legs on Pete's. Artie and Abigail sit on the chairs across them. Steve sits at the table. The TV plays an old sitcom but no one really watches.
"She could be fine, it could work," Claudia breaks the silence.
"She could," Helena brushes a strand of red from Claudia's forehead.
"Why is everyone acting like they are going to a funeral?" Artie gruffs, "Myka is going to return to work soon. She is going to be fine. She is long overdue her vacation anyway, a lot to cover up"
His voice betrays no doubt. It is the erratic movements of his hands that spill half the contents of his mug onto the rug that give him away.
Pete smiles as Artie gets up to clean the mess. "Yeah, I'm with Artie on this one."
"Alright then, let's start a pool, I say the chemo works and she comes home in under a month. Fifty bucks" Claudia drops the money on the table.
"Three weeks. Fifty" Pete puts down his money.
"I will be no part of this childish affair," Artie gets up and walks out, his eyebrows scrunched close together in annoyance.
"Four weeks," Steve adds his money to the pile.
Helena lifts Claudia's head and runs upstairs her feet pounding against each stair.
She closes the door to the room she shares with Myka and pauses to look around. Everything in the room has a touch of Myka. The books stacked neatly, the paperwork on her desk, the shoes lying in the corner. But along with reminders of Myka, the room also has memories of their time together. Helena can never forget the small moments they have spent right there or the times she has made love to the woman on their bed. This space is theirs now, not simply Myka's. It is a witness to their time together and she cannot imagine existing in it without her other half.
Helena washes her face in the bathroom sink and chuckles to herself remembering the time she almost attacked Myka when the brunette attempted to surprise her while she was showering. The door opens and she is not surprised that the voice that calls out belongs to Claudia.
"You don't think she'll be okay?" She cuts straight to the chase but her voice is laced with a thick coat of caution.
"Do you, honestly?"
They both settle down on the bed and Claudia looks at Helena smiling like someone who has lost practice at the art of curving her mouth upwards.
"Her parents will be here tomorrow evening, are you going to do it?"
"I don't know. I was finally coming to terms with the bloody fact that this was the end of the line but this hope, this hope is petty dithering mistress."
"But it's also all we've got H.G. Don't lose it. Myka needs you to stay strong. You make her strong."
"Thank you, Claudia darling. You may not know this but you have been my rock through this entire ordeal and for that I owe you more I can ever return."
So, thoughts? Is Myka going to make it?