An Old Amulet

Chapter Four

Getting back from my discussion with the old wizard, I ran through everything I had been instructed to remember. No telling the others the truth, they were not as open-minded as him, he said. If anything of them ask where it is I'm from, I'm to say that I'm from a land across the sea, where things are quite different. I could give them details, but nothing to do with the fact that I was one place one second and in this place the next. Do not take off the amulet, do not let the others see it. I'm simply to be a travelling woman. That much I thought I could handle. So coming back into the entryway, I was thrown back into the dwarven shuffle.

"Put that back." Bilbo ordered as Dwalin came in front of him with some sort of meat on a plate. "Put that back!" He continued as Óin, an older dwarf, went on as he pleased with more of the poor hobbit's food.

I wasn't really listening to Bilbo too much, I was far too busy trying to get out of everyone else's way. Twirling here, twirling there, ducking and rolling out of the fray several times.

"C'mon, give us a hand, lass." The dwarf known as Bofur requested of me, shoving a plate topped high with fish into my arms and pushing me towards the dining area. I just managed to get it onto the table and was turning to head back when Bombar, Bofur's brother, almost knocked me over with the three blocks of cheese he was hoisting.

"A tad excessive, isn't it?" Bilbo questioned from the doorway, adjusting his suspenders. "Have you got a cheese knife?"

"Cheese knife?" Bofur chuckled. "He eats it by the block."

I snorted at that while ducking out of the way of a couple of incoming chairs. I was actually getting the hang of maneuvering through the mess better than I expected. Even as someone tossed me several bowls, I didn't flinch. Looked like I was fitting in just nicely.

"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair!" Bilbo stated, reaching out to stop Glóin but falling just a bit short. Then he turned to Óin who was also bringing in a chair. "No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take that back please."

"I cannot hear whut your saying, lad." Óin informed him, motioning to his ear.

"It's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you!" Bilbo exclaimed, becoming more and more flustered by the second.

Balin came up behind me in that moment, patting me on the back. "Mind helping me set the table, lass?" He asked gently, motioning to the piles of plates piled high on the table.

"Of course." I nodded, making my way for them. "Anything to help."

"That is a book! Not a coaster!" I heard Bilbo cry from the other room.

While the young dwarf Ori cleaned the plates of dust and Gandalf set the silverware, an older dwarf Dori approached us with a tea tray.

"Put that map down, thank you!" Bilbo continued to try and chastise the dwarves from out of sight. The poor thing.

"Excuse me, Mr Gandalf, Miss Bronwyn," Dori started, causing me to turn around, "may I tempt either of you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?"

I smiled up at him, appreciating the gesture. "That would be lovely Dori, thank you!"

"Oh, no thank you, Dori." Gandalf said softly. "A little red wine for me, I think."

The dwarf nodded, passing me my mug and smiling affectionately before leaving to go and retrieve Gandalf's wine. I sipped at my hot beverage between raising it above my head and dodging whomever was coming my way. Quite a tricky sport, but I held my own. I gently laid my drink down on the table and resumed aiding in setting the table.

"Here, lass, pass this down, will you?" Bofur called, claiming my attention.

I looked up and nodded, taking the plates he was offering me and setting them down in their proper places. That's when I noticed Gandalf quietly naming off the dwarves and counting them on his fingers.

"Fili, Kili," he started as they passed him with a wine cask, "Óin, Glóin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombar, Nori, Dori… Ori."

As Gandalf finished off his list he regarded the small Bilbo in front of him, wrestling a bowl of tomatoes out of Ori's arms. I quickly jumped out of the dining area to catch the tomatoes as they fell. Popping up again and placing them back where they belonged. I patted Bilbo on the back as he had successfully reclaimed his produce.

That's when Bifur approached Gandalf, grunting in some language I didn't understand, and slapping his arm to make a point.

"Yes, you're quite right Bifur." He nodded, bidding the dwarf a slight goodbye.

"Interesting sort." I chuckled softly, following some of the others into the pantry and helping bring out some more goodies. I'd since given up on trying not to be rude. If the others were being so unruly, then my little contribution wouldn't make poor Bilbo's life any easier.

When I came back out again, Dori was holding up a very small glass or red liquid up for Gandalf. "A little red wine, as requested." He smiled, happy of his efforts. "It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet."

"Ah, cheers!" Gandalf said brightly, taking the glass and downing it in one go.

"Here's the last bit!" Glóin called over the noise. "Take yer seats you filthy lot!"

I chuckled quietly at the dwarf's brashness, squeezing into the small hole and taking a seat against a wall. Kili took one side of me, Nori the other. Once they were all seated, they proceeded to grab whatever was in sight with their bare hands without a care in the world and piling their plates tall with the scrumptious morsels around them. It reminded me a bit of our family dinners back home. I sighed wistfully, missing it, but deciding to ignore the feeling by loading my plate with food.

"Bombar, catch!" Bofur suddenly exclaimed, tossing a boiled egg across the table at his brother, to which he caught in his mouth with astounding accuracy. The other dwarves hooted and cheered, laughing and banging the table like it was the funniest thing ever. And it just might've been, I was hooting and hollering along with them.

Though they started to throw bread across the table at each other, a couple landing on me. I simply threw them back with just as much jovial energy as the rest of them. But the table started to shake, so I peered down at the other end. Fili had climbed on top of the table, the food, and was slowly coming down towards us with full pints in his hands.

"Who wants an ale?" He asked, handing them out, even passing one to me. "There you go!"

I raised my pint to him with a laugh as his brother started swatting him to get him off of the food. Or what was left, Fili seemed to have knocked most of it onto ours laps.

Across the table, Dwalin started to look a bit devious. "Let him have another drink!" He laughed, pouring his pint down Óin's ear trumpet.

I burst out laughing just then. I couldn't help it! My rational side told me that this raucous was more of a nuisance than anything, but I was having a grand old time. And as Oin took out his ear trumpet and blew on the bit that went in his ear, causing ale to bubble out, I laughed that much harder. And the others were laughing with me just as hard.

"This is bloody fantastic!" I said without meaning to, laughing and banging the table as I did.

"On the count of three!" Someone called, and the others all pounded their mugs together.

"One, two!"

And then they all went silent, bringing their tankards to their mouths and downing them all as fast as they could. I decided to join in, chugging on my ale like my life depended on it. All around the sound of drink spilling could be heard, the sloppy dwarves were getting drink in their beards, mustaches, food, getting it on the floor, table, it didn't matter. We were soon done and I let out a bit of a burp, it was fairly loud, and the others laughed. Then Nori let out one a bit louder than mine. And little Ori, at the end of the table, let out the loudest belch of them all, causing his kin to look upon him with glee.

"So, Miss Bronwyn." Kili started once we'd resumed the feast. "Where is it you're from?"

I finished chewing the chicken that was in my mouth and swallowed before I responded. "I'm from across the sea. But I've remained here in Hobbiton for the past few days."

I looked up to find Gandalf eyeing my closely, nodding, seemed he deemed my response to be moderately appropriate.

"Really?" Kili asked, smiling a bit. "What's it like?"

"As you'd imagine." I half-answered. I didn't want to try and keep track of the fictitious details of my fictitious home lest I be caught in a lie. "Quite beautiful, but also quite a bit different from here. We don't really have a need to carry swords or shields anymore."

"What?" Dwalin exclaimed, having caught the last bit of my statement. "Then how do you suppose you're to defend yourselves?"

I shrugged, deciding to tell them some truth. "We don't need to. We're safe. There's nothing out there that wishes us ill. Nothing at all. We are perfectly safe out there."

As you can notice, my dialect has improved greatly. Luckily for me, I had to take a year of Shakespearean literature for my major. I could speak like Juliet for the poor sods and they'd never know the difference!

"What a strange world." Balin chimed in, nodding slightly. "One we'd all surely like to be a part of."

I couldn't help but smile affectionately. "Hopefully I'll make it back there someday. But for now I'm-"

"My dear, would you mind passing down the potatoes?" Gandalf asked suddenly, interrupting me mid-thought with a look that told me that I should keep my big trap shut. It was hard, trying to omit the truth and not seem suspicious. But I still had to try. So I passed the old man his potatoes and the others continued on with their conversations.

"Do you even know how to use a sword?" Kili asked quietly, looking a bit worried.

I chuckled quietly. "No, sadly, I do not. You think I'll have need for one?"

"Gandalf said that you were to join him with us on our quest." He continued, his voice getting softer with each syllable. "If you're incapable of defending yourself, I don't think my uncle will appreciate your company. Or even allow it."

"Hmm." I mumbled, since the man was making a fair point. "This quest of yours, it'll be quite dangerous. That's what you're implying, yes?"

He nodded, grabbing a biscuit. "Very."

I sighed, trying to wrap myself around just what I'd gotten myself into. But I didn't really have a choice. I needed to stay by Gandalf's side because he was the only one who knew my situation, the only one I felt I could trust with my true self. The one who'd get me to shut up when I started to tell too much.

"I'll manage." I whispered, trying to ease him, as well as myself. "The women in my family are quite resilient. My great-grandmother was known from crushing stone in her bare hands. And she learned 50 different ways to smith swords in less than a day. I'm sure I can pick up a bit of sword play as time passes.

Kili gave me the brightest smile. "That's fantastic!"

What a sweetheart. I thought, returning his gesture and continuing on with my meal until my plate was practically sparkling. I looked around and the others were finishing just as I was, leading us to start gathering up what remained of the food and putting it back into the pantry. Which was good, didn't want to leave the poor fellow with absolutely nothing. Though, it was almost nothing. So I don't know how we should've gone about that.

I began scrapping off everyone's scraps onto Bombar's plate, as I'd been instructed by his brother. The large dwarf was still scarfing down morsels much too large to swallow whole, and yet he managed it. Dwarves really were a force to be reckoned with. I had to keep reminding myself that I was technically one of them. Even if they didn't know it.

All that was left on the table was empty plates, and some silverware that had gone unused for the most part. A couple of empty tankards, and some slop left over from the meal. All in all, quite a delicious meal. If I do say so myself.

"I don't understand what they're doing in my house!" Bilbo squeaked from out in the hallway, looking more exasperated than ever.

"Excuse me." Ori said as he approached the befuddled hobbit. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." Fili instructed as he walked up behind them, taking the plate and tossing it down the hallway and out of my sight. My jaw dropped, but when I didn't hear the sound of ceramic crashing to the ground, my jaw stayed in its position. Those dwarves truly were amazing. I looked behind me and the plate had been tossed to Bifur, who was at the sink getting everything nice and clean.

Fili tossed another plate, ending up just as safe with Bifur as the other had been. Then another plate, and then a bowl!

"Excuse me!" Bilbo practically shrieked. "That's my mother's West Farthing cookery! It's over a hundred years old!"

Kili and Fili didn't listen. They just kept tossing and tossing and tossing. Gandalf, who decided to walk around during this whole ordeal, had to duck mid-toss so as not to get clobbered Bilbo's dishware. Another bowl came to Fili and he simply bounced it off his elbows, I say simply because he made it look easy, before grabbing it and tossing in towards his brother.

Back at the table, Bofur, Glóin, Nori, and Dori were banging their silverware against the wood and stamping their feet at the same time, reaching across the table to scratch at the others knives and forks. Shink shink!

"And c-can you not do that?" Bilbo asked, clearly frustrated. "You'll blunt them!"

"Ohhh, d'ya hear that lads?" Bofur asked sarcastically, never ceasing his silverware drumming. "He says we'll blunt the knives!"

Shink shink!

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks!" Kili began to sing in the other room.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks!" Fili returned, never ceasing the plate tossing.

Then they all chimed in, in a myriad of song.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plaaaaaaates,

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

All the while they sang, the dishes just kept coming, some coming to me to which I expertly caught and tossed to another, surprised by my own dexterity.

"Cut the cloth and tread on the fat

"Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

"Pour the milk on the pantry floor

"Splash the wine on every door!"

I don't know how I managed it, but I was singing along with them, meeting every note and every word. Enjoying the song and continuing to bounce bowls and plates off of me into Fili's hands.

"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

"Pound them up with a thumping pole

"When you're finished, if they are whooooole

"Send them down the hall to roll!"

There was a break in the singing and Dwalin and Bofur were playing out the diddy on their instruments. Dwalin with his fiddle, Bofur with his clarinet, and still the two were getting bowls tossed at them, to which they used their elbows. Dwalin even used his head! I simply laughed, watching Fili tumbled every which ways, catching plates from me and tossing them to his brother.

By the time they'd finished cleaning, the music was still going, and with one last shout, they all sang:

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

We were all in the kitchen, laughing and patting each other on the back, when Bilbo rushed in, probably expecting to see broken dishes and the kitchen a mess. Little did he know, it was anything but. He looked on the clean space, practically in awe, which just made them all laugh harder.

"Look at his face!" Kili cried, pointing his pipe in his direction.

"That was- amazing!" I laughed, still a bit astounded by the whole escapade. And we all continued to laugh until three loud knocks were heard at the door. Then they all fell silent, their merry faces turning worrisome and serious. Gandalf, who was sitting at the small table, looked up and said cryptically,

"He is here."

Author's Note: Dun dun duuuuun! Thorin's big dramatic entrance. Will he let Bronwyn join the company? Who knows! Probably not! But review to tell me what you think, pretty please! I'll love you all forever I swear. But I already love you... oh well! I'll love you more. xoxo, Momma Love