Chapter 15

Clint stared blankly at the man that has appeared in the doorway. No, he refused to believe that Phil was alive; he saw the report after the ordeal with Loki and had it confirmed with the rest of the Avengers. He had spent the next week barricaded in his room, and not even Natasha could get him out. He had stared at the blank white wall for close to three weeks before he could raise enough willpower to leave what had become his cell and resume his life.

"Clint… I…" Phil tried as he stepped into the room.

"No…" he interrupted, it wasn't possible. This… this pretender just liked like the man that had become a father to him. "You're a pretender." He finished calmly.

"I'm not, I swear…" Phil tried again. He knew that the agent would be hard pressed to believe that he was real, but he had already put the younger man through enough pain.

"No! You're… you can't be! I… I saw you die! Loki made sure I saw it over… and over…" he trailed off, his eyes glazed over. He refused to listen to this… he was still asleep, and being tortured.

"Clint… son…" Phil tried to reason, he had only ever called the man 'son' a few times when he was incredibly worried about the sharp shooter.

"NO YOU ARENT HIM, YOURE LYING!" Clint screamed, struggling to get out of the bed. He would kill the pretender; he would make him bleed out slowly for daring to try and use Phil against him.

"GET OUT!" A familiar voice barked, Tony stormed into the room and didn't even give Natasha or Phil a second glance. He quickly rushed over to the bed and held the injured man down, so he wouldn't hurt himself further. "Clint! You need to calm down!"

"NO! IT'S NOT TRUE!" Clint's struggled only increased, "THIS ISN'T REAL! I'M STILL DREAMING! DAMN IN BARNEY HAVEN'T YOU SCREWED MY MIND UP ENOUGH?!"

Tony could see the pain, agony, and desperation shining in the cerulean orbs he loved so much. "Baby, it's real… please…" Tony whispered and pulled the man to his chest and held him so he could barely move. Clint heard the voice and all his struggles ceased. He collapsed into Tony sobbing; he couldn't deal with it, any of it, so much had happened and he just couldn't deal with it. He sobbed into the man's chest whispering 'no' over and over again; Tony just held him while muttering soothing words into the distraught man's ears.

Natasha stood awkwardly to the side. She felt a ping as she witnessed the man that had wormed his way into her cold heart be comforted by Tony Stark. She knew she hadn't been there for the archer, whom she called brother; she was aware of all the nights he had stayed up to avoid sleep; and how he had wondered the tower like a ghost, treading amongst shells around the team. He was treated like an outsider for the first few months, even more so than Banner, and she had done nothing to stop it as he isolated himself. She sighed and quickly pushed Coulson out the door; she hadn't been there for her brother lately but now she would be damned before she made that same mistake again.

Tony glared at the retreating agents while he comforted that man he loved more than life itself. He couldn't believe the audacity and sheer stupidity of a man that was supposed to be a top agent. He quickly brushed any thoughts about Coulson to the side as he slowly lower Clint back onto the bed, careful not to jostle the already injured man. He looked lovingly at him and ran a hand through the blond locks. He carefully exited the room to leave the man to sleep; he knew he would need it.

He stepped out and asked Clint's doctor to go and check on him to make sure that he hadn't done any more damage. He found Coulson pacing in the waiting room with Natasha watching with barely concealed annoyance, he knew she hated it when people paced. "What the hell were you thinking?" Tony hissed at the agitated agent.

"That's none of your business Stark." Phil snapped

"Wrong answer, it became my business when your common sense took a temporary vacation! So I repeat, what the hell were you thinking?" Tony retorted.

Phil growled, "I needed to see him, to make sure he was alright… and hopefully patch things over."

Tony just laughed incredulously, "Are you insane? What part of he thinks you're dead, did you not think of? Add that to the fact he has been mind raped for weeks now! What could have possibly made you think that this was a god idea?!"

Phil didn't answer, he just kept pacing, his face an emotionless mask. Tony scoffed, "I'll tell you this; you have a lot of work and explaining to do if you ever want to fix what you put him through."

When Phil didn't reply, Natasha sighed, "Thanks for taking care of him Tony."

"No thanks to you." Tony growled

"Excuse me?" Natasha growled dangerously, her eyes flashing.

"Don't think I haven't noticed how you proverbially left him to the wolves. You have a lot of work to do to make up for that too." Tony growled back, but he was seriously wanted to run when her eyes flashed. He stood his ground because Clint would need her, and he'd be damned if he let either of them off easy.

Natasha glared for a few minutes, before closing her eyes and turning away, "I know."

Tony's eyes widened and he let out a breath of relief, she was scary. Phil continued his pacing, much to Natasha's annoyance, "I know it was stupid; I just… I only heard in reports what had been happening lately. Fury kept me away from everything because he needed a reason for the Avengers to actually work together. I didn't condone it, but I wasn't really in much position to argue about it. When I woke up it had already been a month and I can barely lift a finger without thinking I was gonna die from exhaustion."

Tony just stood there, letting the agent vent. "I only just recently heard about Clint's nightmares. He's had them for a very long time, but when I heard that Barney had been spotted in New York I knew there was more to this. That man has had it out for Clint since I could remember bringing him into SHIELD; although he never told me why. They've crossed paths a few times during missions and Clint has always left the worse for wear; I wanted- no, I needed, to make sure that he was okay. I can't lose him, I've watched over him for ten years now." Phil continued before stopping with a wry smile, "He really grows on you, all snarky and selfless, and yet you can't imagine life without him. I know I hurt him… I just, I don't know how to make up for it. I just don't know what to do."

Tony sighed; how was he supposed to be angry with the agent when he said that, the fact that it was true aside, it only made him angrier with Coulson for making it hard to be angry with him. Coulson had slid into one of the waiting room chairs and had his head pillowed in his hands; Natasha had moved to the other side of the room and seemed to be conversing with a doctor. Tony slid into the chair next to the SHIELD handler, "You know… you look really pathetic right now?"

Phil couldn't help it; he snorted and chuckled, "Geez Stark, you know just the right things to make a guy feel special."

Tony just shrugged, leaning back, "I call it like I see it. All joking aside, it's not going to be easy. I meant what I said when I said he was literally mind raped for weeks. His inner most secrets and the dark recesses of his mind were literally screwed open and played with like putty. First it was Loki that bended his will, and then Barney who took away the only solace he had left."

Phil didn't look at him, "Why are you helping me Stark? I thought you hated me."

Tony snorted, "Hate is such a strong word, I may dislike you, or find you irritating but I don't hate you. Besides, my opinion doesn't matter, you are the closest thing to a parental figure Clint has and he respects the hell out of you. I'm not gonna take that away from him, and if it'll help him recover, you better bet I'll do my damnedest I'll help."

"You've matured Stark… I didn't think that was possible. Thanks. I really appreciate this." Phil said sincerely.

Tony screwed his face up in disgust, "Hey! I have an image to uphold; don't go telling people that I've gone and grown up. Then I'll be asked to do more stuff!"

Phil laughed, a genuine laugh, and was saved from answering when Natasha returned, "Clint is fine; no wounds were reopened or anything. He is awake, though, and asking for you Tony."

Tony nodded and left immediately; Phil watched him go with a fond expression, "He's good for Clint."

"They're good for each other." Natasha answer, claiming Tony's vacant seat, "Where is everyone else?"

Phil rubbed his face tiredly, "Thor is cleaning up the warehouse at the direction of a skulking Bruce. He was a tad green when he heard that his impulse shields weren't needed after all. Steve is reporting to Fury."

Natasha leaned back and sighed wearily, "We have a long road ahead of us don't we?"

Phil just snorted, "He's worth it though."

Tony quickly slipped into Clint's room and found the archer sitting up in the bed. He was slightly pale, seemingly blending into the white bed sheets, and utterly calm. Tony nearly winced when he noticed that: a calm Hawkeye wasn't a good Hawkeye.

"Hey babe, are you okay?" Tony greeted quietly, sitting next to the archer on the bed.

Clint smiled slightly, "yes… no… I don't really know anymore. It's hard to tell if I'm awake sometimes."

Tony didn't know what to say to that so instead wrapped an arm around his boyfriend letting him vent his thoughts.

"He was real… wasn't he?"

"Yeah."

"How long have you known about him?" Clint asked without looking.

"Since the day we rescued you." Tony answered.

Clint didn't say anything else for a moment, "I don't know what to think anymore. I don't even know if my thoughts are my own. How do I know some crack pot will come up and screw my head open again. Tony… I'm scared… that I'm not me."

Tony closed his eyes and squeezed the man harder, mindful of his injuries. "I don't know what to tell you Clint. I really don't."

"Will I ever be able to trust myself again?"

"Yes. Do you know why? Because we will all be there for you. I love you so much it hurts, and I won't let you go through this alone."

Clint smiled, and leaned his head on Tony's shoulder, content for now. Tony knew he wasn't okay at all. He was struggling with something few people, if any, have ever gone through. But he was being truthful, they would get through it together, and he would do anything to help the man he loved get his confidence and peace of mind back.

And he would be there to protect him in the future.