Authors Notes:
I get sort of lost as to where I was going midway through the chapter but please read it. There's a death mentioned in passing but er…yes. It is Duo and Quatre-centric…though they aren't a couple. But enjoy yo.
1x2, 3x4, past 5x4 and 5x3
Disclaimer:
I don't own Gundam Wing
I don't own the song 'I cried for you'
I don't own the warning but please heed that too!!!
Warnings
ahem the following program may contain scenes of violence, coarse language and nudity intended for adult audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
I was dreaming. Only in my dreams could I be so terribly happy...and yet so terribly sad. I was dreaming of a room that was entirely surrounded by the night sky, and a boy. It was a familiar room with an even more familiar boy.
The boy stared out the glass walls at the multitude of stars. His lithe body was reflected on the surface of the glass, yet it was not his reflection at all. The reflection was another boy...beautiful in a dark and austere way. But, that was the way of dreams. Everything made all too much sense and yet none at all.
You're beautiful so silently
It lies beneath a shade of blue
There was a noise in the silence and the boy turned to look at me. The noise was me, and yet not me. And the boy's reflection was gone...replaced with his real reflection, I suppose. He walked towards me and spoke in a hushed tone, and I simply smiled. My hand, though I don't recall ever seeing my hand, gently caresses his face. He has olive skin and turbulent green eyes. I can see the reflection of my eyes, though I don't recall ever seeing my eyes, and they are blue. I can see him...but I can also see me.
It struck me so violently
When I looked at you
I embraced him and there was so much longing. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I could feel his scent enveloping me. It was something smokey and dangerous and protective. When I opened my eyes I was no longer holding him. Instead I saw him, his hands up in the air. His turbulent eyes were as decieving as the sea. They were calm, but I knew the desperation that lay beneath. He stepped through as strange door, hands up in the air...mimicing actions I had already taken.
He turns around to walk back through the door and I make more noise to stop him. It became different. He was on the ground and walking away with a bag. I make more noise and he turns and looks at me. He sees me. He speaks to me and leaves. I looked up then and saw another man. Big, with a beard, and dissaproving. I turned back to where the boy was, but he was gone and there was a sadness so deep...but not consuming at all. I knew I would see him again. I turned towards the big man.
But others pass, they never pause,
To feel that magic in your hand
Instead I saw the boy's reflection. The first reflection of the dark austere one. His handsome visage glared at me...but it was not a glare at all. There was something else behind his look: warning. Then I realized, he was not looking at me at all. I turned around and saw my boy. The gentle sad one. He was making music. He held a silver pipe to his lips as his graceful hands moved over buttons. I felt the need to move. I needed to shift and sway to the sounds and I turned to look at the other boy. The dark one seemed unmoved and older.
Now he was glaring. Now there was anger. Then something more. I closed my eyes to move away from this man. He was dangerous and angry. I opened my eyes wishing to find the first boy. The one who was gentle and sad. The one who made such soothing motions. Instead I saw a young girl. Her face was blank but there was a tanned hand rubbing her head. The hand was thick. It belonged to the dark one.
To me you're like a wild rose
They never understand why
I raised my eyes from his hand to his shoulder and then to his face. Something caught in my throat. There was sadness and anger and devastation. But it began to change. I watched his eyes...pitch as night and deeper than space. They aged, and aged, and grew gentle. The sadness, the anger, all of it fell away as his eyes aged. I could feel my chest warming and I touched his face.
Behind him there came more men...men I knew with all my heart, and again there was the girl. Only she was older and she was smiling. I knew her with all my being...in entirety. I looked closer at the men she was with and saw the confusion in their eyes. I could see their curiousity and confusion as I now warmed to the dark one. I could not myself explain it...nor did I know how I knew what the others thought...but the dark one was beautiful too. He hurt too. I looked back at the girl now in glasses and looking at me with hurt and devastation. I was afraid.
I looked down at my own hand and I see my love. My dark love. He was red. Bloody. He was dead.
I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went I became a hopeless drifter
I held my love's head. In his arms he held a new born babe. A life for a life. No. It was a life for two lives. I clutched my love's bloody body in my arms, closed my eyes, and wept. The body I held began to shudder and there was a hiccoughing sound. I was holding onto the young lady with the glasses. She wept with me, my daughter...though I do not remember. I let go of the girl and turned away and saw my dark love and my older, gentle love.
I turned back towards my daughter where she was ensconced in the loving arms of the men I saw earlier. I pushed forwards to my older love. I no longer looked behind me...there was only forward.
There were flying crafts and cool days and lonely streets. There was a window that I walked towards. There was my old love. He was calm...neither happy nor unhappy. I wished to go towards him.
But this life was not for you, Though I learned from you, That beauty need only be a whisper
I made a move towards a door when I saw another boy kiss my old love. This was his knew life...away from mine. I had already made a life with my dark lover...and I loved my dark lover well. I do not know whether I did...but I felt all the love I had for my dark lover in my heart. I lost both loves yet I kept them both. It had hurt to keep it there...but it also warmed me.
I could not steal away my gentle love's knew life...I whispered noise and turned away and fell into pitch.
I was dreaming. Only in my dreams could I be so terribly happy...and yet so terribly sad.
I've had this chappy on my computer for a while now. I can't seem to finish it so I'm posting the first half of what I have. I hope you enjoy it!