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Summary: Jeff Hardy has been chosen to be the human host that would allow the demon keeper of the seventh layer of hell to enter the realm of Earth. In fighting for his life Jeff has some unexpected allies. Featuring: Matt Hardy, Undertaker, Kane, Batista, Umaga, John Cena, Ashley, Maria, Edge...
NOTE: This fic is written with the assumption, that Jeff, Edge, and Umaga are still on RAW, and Matt, Kane, the Boogeyman and the Undertaker are still on Smackdown, and that Undertaker is still the World Heavyweight Champion and Matt and Jeff are still the Tag-Team Champions.
000
"And that's what you are going to tell everyone, got it?" The words of the Undertaker echoed in Jeff's mind, as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel that the RAW roster was staying in for the night. Jeff had stayed two nights in the Callaway household, before he and Taker had to get to the airport for their respective flights. Jeff to Los Angeles where RAW was putting on its show, while the Undertaker went to Florida for the Smackdown! show.
"Got it," Jeff murmured the answer he had given Taker when they last talked. Even though he had discovered a more human side to the Undertaker, the side of Mark Callaway, the family man, there was still one constant throughout. Whatever the Undertaker says goes. And that was that.
Jeff sighed as he parked and walked into the lobby to check in and get his room assignment. For once he prayed he did not get put with Carlito. Recently, the Caribbean Cool and Torrie Wilson were having a tiff over rumors that Torrie was engaging in a liaison with the champ John Cena. With everything else going on, the last place Jeff wanted to be was in the middle of that domestic dispute.
The young Hardy checked in and found to his surprise and some relief that his new roommate was Umaga. However, after a few seconds thought though, Jeff realized it was not a surprise at all. No doubt the Samoan bulldozer and The Undertaker had arranged it that way; after all, Umaga was the only other person on the RAW roster who fully knew what was going on.
A trip up the elevator later and Jeff was at the door to the hotel room. He had keys to the room, but he felt it would be more polite to announce his arrival to his roommate before barging in. While waiting for a response from inside, Jeff idly wondered if Umaga snored loudly. Jeff shrugged to himself, even if he did, that's what ear plugs were for.
"Ah, Jeff Hardy," Umaga opened the door and greeted him cheerfully, before frowning. "You have no key?"
"Oh yeah, I do. I just thought I would knock, as I felt weird just barging in." Jeff said, absently rubbing the back of his head, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. He didn't know why, after all, less than a week ago he had allowed Umaga to put a tattoo on his back without a second thought. On the other hand the prospect of sharing a room with someone he barely knew personally, and had been engaged with in a vicious rivalry that had ended up with Jeff being flatten into the ground on two occasions, was just a tad unnerving.
Umaga apparently sensed the young Hardy's awkwardness, for with out another word he ushered Jeff into the room. The Samoan bulldozer had already claimed the bed closest to the window; the Samoan flag and the quilt were indications of that.
"You like to rest, talk, or watch TV?" Umaga asked.
"Nah, I think I'm going to head down stairs and get something to eat," Jeff tossed his bag on to the unoccupied bed. "Then maybe take a nice long nap before RAW tonight. I've got a match with Edge, so I want to be sure to be awake. That sneaky little shit always has something up his sleeve."
Umaga chuckled and nodded. "Yes, he is like Maui, the trickster god. Except he was more heroic, he use his talent to help others, Edge use for himself."
"Yeah, he spends more time trying to get out of a fight than in one," Jeff frowned. "It sucks really; he used to be real fighter, hell we used to be friends. Then he turned into a jerk one day, and has gotten worse ever since."
Umaga nodded.
Suddenly Jeff's cellphone rang. He answered and was surprised to here Maria's voice on the other line.
"Hey, Jeff!" Maria greeted him cheerfully. "Are you back, yet?"
Jeff smiled a little at hearing the sweet voice. "Yeah, I just got to the hotel, what's up?"
"Well, I just wanted to see if this number Ashley gave me worked." She giggled. "And I wanted to know if…um…you would like to join me for lunch today if you haven't already eaten."
"Yeah, I'd like that," Jeff smile grew wider. "Where do you want to meet?"
"The café downstairs, but we can go some place else after we meet up," Maria answered.
"Sounds good. I'll be there. Bye." Jeff hung up the phone, but as soon as he did he realized he was about to blow off Umaga. Jeff was used to rooming with Carlito or Matt which usually had the agreement that roommates could come and go as they pleased, no questions asked. However, he had made no such agreement with Umaga.
Jeff shifted uncomfortably. "Um, Umaga. My friend, Maria, just called and she wanted to know if I could come…"
"Go, woman company good for you," Umaga said with the same authority as a parent instructing their child to eat all of their peas.
Jeff chuckled. "Thanks."
000
The Undertaker groaned when he walked through the hotel room door and spotted his brother Kane sitting on the bed with a look on his face that said something was wrong.
"All right what's going on?" Taker decided it was best to just get right to the point and get it over with.
"Chiron has been sending nightmares to Matt Hardy," Kane answered bluntly.
The Undertaker growled through his teeth. The situation had just gotten more complicated. "Were there any symbols on his body?"
"No, I don't think so," Kane shook his head.
"What do you mean you don't think so? Didn't you check?"
"No!" Kane snapped. "The situation was awkward enough."
Taker pinched the bridge if his nose and silently asked Grim for patience with his little brother. "That's kind of important, Kane. Did you at least ask him if he came in contact with Chiron's blood?"
Kane looked away, embarrassed that he had forgotten that question. "No."
Taker swallowed a growl. "All right, I'll ask him myself. What's his number?"
"Who's number?" Kane quirked an eyebrow
"Matt's number," Taker growled, his last layer of patience fading rapidly.
"How the hell should I know?"
"Didn't you get it from him?"
"No."
The Undertaker began to shake slightly from suppressing the great urge to smack his little brother upside the head.
000
Jeff smiled when he spotted the lovely Maria standing just outside the hotel café. He was pleasantly surprised by her outfit. Most of the divas wore clothes that were just as flashy and trendy as their ring attire; Maria however just wore a plain sea green t-shirt with the words "Café Mommas" on the front, and some baggy jeans.
She turned around and spotted him, a smile lighting up her face. "Hey there!" She waved.
He smiled and waved a little back as he approached. "Hey, you look nice."
Maria blushed a little, her cheeks turning a light pink. "Thanks, you look pretty good yourself. How was your trip?"
Jeff shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant. "Good, Taker and I did some training together. I think he has a mind to put the Hardys and the Brother's of destruction in a match together." He repeated back the words the Undertaker had told him to say.
Maria grinned. "That will be an awesome match to watch! Do you think it will be for the Great American Bash?"
"I hope so," Jeff grinned back. "That match deserves a big stage."
Suddenly Jeff's cell phone rang. He picked it up and was surprised to find The Undertaker on the other side.
"What's up?" Jeff asked nervously, fearing bad news.
"What's your brother's number?" Taker asked suddenly.
"What?"
"Your brother's cell phone number, what is it?" The Phenom snapped, the impatience clear in his voice. "I need to know it in case something happens to you and we need to contact him."
"Right," Jeff obediently listed off the number, and the Undertaker hung up without so much as a goodbye.
"Nice guy," Jeff chuckled, flipping the cell phone closed, before turning back to Maria. "So where shall we eat?"
"I feel like something light, so how about the sushi place over there?" Maria pointed to a building across the street.
"Sushi it is!"
000
"You want me to do what?!" Matt Hardy blurted out in utter shock.
"I said strip, Hardy Boy! Now!" the Undertaker snapped, his patience was on its last tether. One more bit of stalling on Matt Hardy's part and his clothes would be torn from his body.
"Can I at least know what this is for?" Matt sputtered, still stunned.
Taker snarled and looked ready to attack, meanwhile Kane was sitting in the background, grinning and trying not to laugh. However, the Big Red Machine managed to swallow his laughter and get back to business. "We need to see if Chiron has marked you with any symbols."
"Oh…All right," Matt calmed considerably, after hearing this had something to do with the Chiron incident. He wasted no more time and stripped down to his boxers, hoping in his mind that Taker would not ask him to go further.
After a very thorough examination which included examining Matt's scalp as if he had nits, the elder Hardy was free of demonic marks.
"You're clean."
"Good," Matt breathed in relief and began quickly putting his clothes back on. "But if I'm not marked, why am I getting all those nightmares?"
"To make you suffer so much that you'll get Jeff to remove the protection symbol," Taker said simply.
"Oh, right…" Matt murmured, but a look of determination crossed his face again. "Well, I'm not giving up. I'd rather deal them, no matter how bad they get than let Jeff have to again." Even still a shudder ran through his body as he remembered the dreams.
"Good. Keep it that way," Taker nodded.
"I will." Matt nodded back. "Oh, mind if I ask what you and Jeff were up to on the road trip?"
Taker exhaled a long breath, seeming to mull over if he should tell Matt anything or not. "We talked to Grim, and found out the window of when Chiron's cronies will come after Jeff."
Matt's eyes widened in shock, but soon the look turned incredulous. "And you were planning on letting me know this when?"
Kane shrugged. "We figured you have enough on your mind as it is."
Matt's anger didn't lessen one bit. "Well, I'd like to know if you don't mind... I can't believed you'd have kept that from me." He growled.
Taker and Kane glared back, but for once Matt did not back down or shrink away immediately. Taker decided for the sake of expediency to just answer the question.
"Between July 8 and July 22."
The anger left Matt's face, quickly replaced with worry for Jeff. "It won't be long now…"
"That's a two way statement." Kane said. "It won't be long until they come for Jeff, but it also won't be long until this nightmare will be over for all of us, one way or another."
Matt nodded, grateful for the strangely comforting words. "If there is nothing else I need to hear, I think I need to head back to my room. I'm feeling tired all of a sudden…"
000
"So what's Café Mommas?'" Jeff asked as he and Maria were served a big plate of Sushi.
"Oh it's the café from the opera, "La Boheme'," Maria grinned and took a bite of her shrimp nigiri.
"Opera fan, huh?" Jeff quirked an eye brow. "I've never actually seen one."
"Oh! You should, it's much better see than to just listen to it. The sets they made for La Boheme were amazing. It made the music even more beautiful." Maria closed her eyes, as the memories of the performance danced through he head once more.
"Maybe we should go some time," Jeff said. "Being a musician, maybe I should expand my horizons to some of the classics."
Maria's eyes snapped open and she beamed at him. "Yes! That would be fun; we should check what's being performed in the next city we're in. That would be so much fun!"
Jeff looked at her bright smiling face, and couldn't keep a smile from his own face. "Yeah it would."
The two remained like that for a few seconds just smiling at each other. Then the smile faded a little from her face and her gaze became a little more intense, staring straight into Jeff's eyes.
Jeff shifted a little uncomfortably, at her gaze. "What's up? Have I got some rice on my face or something?"
Maria blinked; apparently not aware she had been staring. She blushed profusely and looked a little flustered.
For the sake of comfort, Jeff decided to change the subject. "That was a pretty nice aerial move you did against Melina last week."
Maria immediately brightened up again, at receiving a compliment about her aerial skills from the master daredevil himself. "Thanks! I couldn't believe how my body seemed to take over on that one; I thought Melina was going to get me for sure, and I'd go flying backwards out of the ring, when next thing I knew I was flying just like you do..." She reached out across the table and placed her hand on his.
Jeff swallowed hard and felt his heart speed up a few beats more per second. "I think with practice you could be really good…"
Maria beamed at him again. "You really think so?"
"Yeah…" Jeff murmured, looking down at Maria's hand on his. He snapped out of his reverie and pulled his hand back before straightening and eating another piece of sushi in an effort to look casual. "I could help you if you want."
Maria's eyes widened in surprised delight. "Really?! That would be wonderful! Thank you, Jeff!"
"If we can get to the stadium early enough we could start tonight." Jeff grinned.
"I would love that! Thank you!" She got up from her seat and hugged him, and then on impulse, kissed him on the cheek.
Jeff blushed a little at being kissed, mainly at the memories it conjured up of that night when Maria had come to his room to return his pants. She had stayed and given him a massage and had taken care of him after Chiron had sent some painful shocks through his body and they had shared two rather deep kisses in that time.
"Jeff?"
The young Hardy jumped out of his memories a little startled.
"Are you okay?" Maria asked a little concerned.
"Yeah, fine. I was just thinking about something."
Maria placed her hands on his shoulders and began messaging them a little. "You seem tense all of a sudden."
"No, no I'm fine. Please," Jeff removed her hands from his shoulders. "You massages are lethal; I'll be so relaxed I won't be able to eat."
Maria giggled and sat back down in her seat. "You're a funny guy, Jeff Hardy."
"Funny? Usually the word people describe me with is crazy." Jeff chuckled.
Maria grinned slyly. "That too…"
000
"Okay now, when doing a Whisper in the Wind," Jeff explained, "when you jump up on the turnbuckle, you can't have your legs too wide or you'll fall. Believe me, I had my legs too wide once and my neck suffered for it."
"Yeah, I remember the match," Maria shuddered.
Jeff smiled assuredly. "Don't worry; I'll be there to catch you while practice. Now want to give it a try?"
"Yeah!" Maria nodded vigorously.
"Okay," Jeff took hold of Maria's arm. "The time to do this is when your opponent tries to swing you into the turnbuckle."
Maria nodded, and Jeff nodded back, before pulling her toward the turnbuckle. She jumped up and tried to push off the top rope like she had always seen him do, but she lost her balance and began to fall backwards.
Like he said he would, Jeff caught her. Unfortunately, it was right under the armpits, so he ended up with his hands on her breasts. He let go immediately and took a few steps back.
"Sorry about that, I swear I didn't mean to do it." Jeff absently rubbed the back of his head, looking a little embarrassed.
"Can't be helped." Maria shrugged. "Let's try it again; I think I know how to do it this time."
Unfortunately, Maria was wrong; she did not get it the next time, or the next or the next.
"All right, Maria, one more try and then we have to head into the locker rooms and get ready." Jeff said checking his watch.
"Okay! Let's see if I can make it a good one." Maria ran to the turnbuckle and jumped up to the top rope, she found her balanced and pushed off. She didn't have Jeff's signature twist in the move, but it was enough force back to catch Jeff off balance and they both fell to the floor.
They both laughed,
"You're getting closer," Jeff smiled. "But I think you need a little more practice before trying it out in the ring so you don't get hurt."
"I'm glad you're there to catch me." Maria smiled gently back at him.
He looked at her. She looked at him. Before they knew it, their lips met in a soft kiss.
"Hey! Hey!" The Champ John Cena came in, startling both Maria and Jeff. "No violating the ring. You want to do that, take it to the hotel or the closet in the locker room."
"Sorry, John, we just got caught up in the moment." Maria blushed, as she and Jeff got up.
"Oh, ho. Maria and the Rainbow-Haired warrior." Cena grinned at them. "Does CM Punk know about this little liaison?"
"Punk and I broke up, you know that, John," the diva snapped, lightly stamping on Cena's foot.
Cena winced a little but the grin didn't completely disappear. He gave Jeff a friendly slap on the shoulder. "She's a keeper, Jeff," the champ said, before continuing his walk backstage to finish getting ready.
An awkward silence passed between Jeff and Maria as they thought of ways to respond, even though Cena had already left.
"We'd better finish getting ready," Jeff said as he slipped out of the ring.
Maria nodded and followed after him.
000
Jeff Hardy winced as he hit the ground, back first. Sure being dropped was much better than being slammed by The Great Khali, but it still hurt falling nearly seven feet onto the unforgiving surface of the ring canvas. He rolled over onto his stomach and glanced up at his savior. He was surprised to see Umaga had his back inside the ring as well as outside. The Samoan Bulldozer was taking on the Punjabi giant.
Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Edge trying to make a getaway now that his plan was unraveling. The R-rated superstar had attempted to sic the Great Khali on Jeff like he had done right before Wrestlemania 23. Jeff felt his blood boil with rage like the red river in his hellish dreams. He jumped up and made chase after up the ramp after Edge.
The Rainbow Haired Warrior quickly caught up with his nemesis, grabbing him by his hair, and dragging him back toward the ring. Jeff threw Edge into one of the turnbuckles and was about to continue bashing his opponent's teeth in, when he noticed Khali was starting to gain the upper hand over Umaga. The younger Hardy responded by abandoning Edge and pulling a ladder out from under the ring.
He signaled to the Samoan Bulldozer to take hold of one side of the ladder, while he grabbed the other. The two picked up the ladder and charged toward Khali in the classic Hardy Boyz ladder match move of slamming their opponent in the face with a ladder. Although with Khali's stature they were only able to hit him in the chest, but it was enough to topple the seven foot monster and knock the wind out of him.
While Khali was down, Jeff set up the ladder and began to climb it, much to the roaring delight of the crowd. Meanwhile, Umaga had slipped out of the ring and grabbed the dazed Edge, who was just getting to his feet. He rolled the R-rated superstar back into the ring, just as Jeff reached the height on the ladder he wanted.
The Rainbow-haired Warrior and the Samoan Bulldozer looked at each other and nodded. At the same time Umaga picked up Edge and performed his patented Samoan Drop, Jeff jumped of the ladder forming a Swanton bomb onto Khali.
Jeff growled at the pain in his back; delivering a Swanton bomb to Khali was little better than doing it a rock. He swallowed the pain and lifted up Khali's gigantic leg for the pin. Since Khali was "standing in" for the R-rated superstar, Jeff had to pin Khali not Edge.
For a few moments, relief filled Jeff as the referee counted to three and the match was over, but rage quickly replaced that relief when his eye fell on an out cold Edge lying on the canvas at Umaga's feet. He felt his anger beginning to boil over, and it was taking every once of self control to keep himself from strangling Edge right then and there. However, he settled for picking up Edge's discarded microphone, and saying a few choice words.
"You like it, Edge?" Jeff screamed into the mic. "Do you like being thrown around and beaten up by someone twice your size?! I've got friends too, and if you try to sic Kahli on me again, you're going to get a Samoan spike upside your head and this microphone up your ass!"
With that Jeff threw down the mic and stormed out of the ring, with Umaga following behind. Just as they headed up the ramp, Khali finally got to his feet and began yelling at them in Punjabi. Jeff had no idea what Khali was saying, but Umaga seemed to, or at least he understood the intonations and started yelling back in Samoan.
The multilingual banter might have gone on further if the new General Manager of RAW, William Regal had not come out.
"Umaga! Khali!" Regal announced from the top of the ramp. "Now I know you two have been wanting a match, and I know these fans have been wanting to see you do battle with each other. And so you shall! At the Great American Bash, Umaga vs. he Great Khali for the Intercontinental Championship!"
The cheering fans roared with approval…
000
Jeff carefully placed the ice pack under his back and rested his head on the pillow. "Ugh… I'm going to feel this tomorrow…" He groaned.
Umaga chuckled. "You want sweet from vending machine to make you happy?"
"Yeah..." Jeff reached into his pocket for his wallet and pulled out a couple dollar bills. "A bag of skittles and a Mountain Dew." He paused, pondering his choices over again. "Actually, just get two bags of skittles."
Umaga chuckled again. "All right. I get."
"Thanks, man."
As Umaga exited the room, Jeff shut his eyes. He was looking forward to a nice nap, when his cell phone rang. He squeezed his eyes even more shut and wrinkled his nose, hoping that it would some how block his ears. When that didn't work, he picked-up the phone to see who it was and if it was worth answering. He expected it to be Maria, and sure enough it was.
"Hey, Maria."
"Hey, Jeff, great job on your match tonight,"
Jeff chuckled, grateful for Maria's praise, but really wanted nothing more than to sleep. He hoped Maria would forgive him for asking to talk to her later. "Thanks, I had some help. Um, Maria…"
"That Swanton Bomb you did off the ladder was awesome!"
Jeff blushed a little. "Thanks…Um…Maria…I …I really appreciate this, but I am dog tired and I really need some sleep. Can we talk later?"
Maria giggled over the phone. "How about we talk over dinner?"
"What?" Jeff was caught a little off guard.
"I mean, how about we get together for dinner tomorrow night?"
The rainbow haired Hardy paused as he pondered the question. Lunch was one thing; dinner was more like a real date.
"Jeff?" Maria asked after the long silence.
"Oh, yeah…yeah that sounds nice," Jeff replied automatically.
"Great! I'll let you sleep and call you back tomorrow morning with all the details. Okay?" she said cheerfully. "Bye."
"Bye." Jeff hung up the phone and leaned back deeper into the pillow. He briefly wondered where this thing with Maria was going, but decided to put the thought off and sleep on it a bit.
000
Vince McMahon grumbled to himself when he heard a knock at the door. He had a big enough headache with trying to come up with more exciting matches for the Great American Bash, than dealing with someone's petty problems. "Come in," he said brusquely.
The WWE Chairman was surprised to see none other than the World Heavyweight Champion, the Undertaker, standing before him. The phenom had his championship belt displayed over his shoulder.
"Ah, the one superstar that hasn't pissed me off lately," Vince said, then paused, eyeing the Deadman warily. "You haven't come to piss me off have you?"
"Not intentionally," Taker said.
"Good, what do you want?" McMahon asked, still apprehensive.
"I have an idea for a match at the Great American Bash," Taker answered in his usual solemn manner. "One that will make the WWE go wild."
"Oh, yeah?" Vince quirked a curious eyebrow then smirked. "Have a seat…"
8888
Author's Note:
Oooh! What plan does The Undertaker have in mind for the Great American Bash? You'll fin out in the next chapter!