Mario and Yoshi soared through the sky at blinding speeds, but despite the seriousness of their mission, Mario still had a question for his newfound companion. "Hey, Yoshi? Mind if I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"You're not human either, right?"
"Yeah..."
"And your dad layed you as an egg, right?"
"What about it?" Mario hesitated for a second.
"Are...are you a Namekian?" Yoshi growled angrily before replying.
"Yes, Mario. I'm a green #$%ing alien." Mario paused again.
"Do...Do I have to ride you?" Yoshi silenced himself, just taking a moment to growl again. Meanwhile, Mallow was in the middle of another crying fit.
"Shut up." Still crying. "I said shut up!" Still bawling. "SHUT UP!" Not a single stop. "Dammit, why isn't screaming angrily making you cry less?" The alien lifted his nephew by the head, tossing him into the nearby pit. "Uncle's gonna put you in the time out pod." Mallow began tapping the glass sadly as his evil uncle climbed back out of the hole. "Thank sweet merciful Miyamoto that's over. Now I can just sit back and..." His ocular device began beeping wildly. "Beat the crap out of whoever's coming. Great." He looked up, somewhat surprised to see his opponents.
"Weegee, give me back my son!" He flipped out of the Star Boat, squealing with delight and landing alongside Yoshi. Weegee chuckled.
"So, you're here already. And I see you brought the Yoshi with you." Mario took a second to correct his brother.
"Um, actually, I don't think that's been explained yet."
"Oh. Well, it's not like anyone cares about him anyway." Yoshi tore off his cloak, tossing it behind him and savoring the solid thud it put onto the ground.
"Well, screw you too!" As he removed his hat, Mario looked over at him.
"Yoshi, you use weighted training clothes as well?" He tossed the hat away, clearly annoyed by his rival.
"No, Mario. I just love to get naked when I'm around you." Weegee was watching through his device as their powers began to grow, working out how it was possible.
"So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet!" He unzipped his overalls, allowing a few seconds for the expected strength to seep in.
"Uh, no. We're wearing weighted clothing." He zipped back up immediately, clearly flustered.
"Of course! Because that would be ridiculous, ahahahaha!" Yoshi couldn't help himself with the perfect insult.
"So, that mustache does compensate for something." Weegee's face contorted in anger.
"SHUT UP!" He leapt forward, smashing an elbow into both of them angrily. They leapt across the field under the force, barely sticking a landing. Yoshi blinked for a second before speaking.
"Okay, what the hell was that?" Mario stood back up, turning around again.
"I don't know, but let's try it again. From behind!" He swung around Weegee, giving him ample time to swing both legs up and plow two feet firmly into the chins of his opponents.
"Really shouldn't be announcing our attack strategy!" They both landed in a tensed position.
"Rush him!"
"DAMMIT, MARIO!" They leapt at him as he lifted into the air, only giving Yoshi enough time for a suggestion. "Can you at least try to dodge this one?"
"Dodge what oneOHGEEZ!" They both leapt to the side to avoid the huge energy blasts produced from Weegee's hands. As the blast intended for Mario struck a nearby mountain, he laughed to himself. "Ha! You missed me!" Suddenly Weegee was behind him.
"My bad." He swung a leg into Mario's back, launching him across the field. As he pushed up off the ground, Mario thought to himself.
"Note to self. Less talky, more fighty." He got up on all fours. "Hey, Yoshi, we may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one. High fieeeeeeiiieeiieeeei..." He had just noticed that Yoshi was indeed missing an arm. "Uh, handsha...Thumbs u...G-Good job." Weegee burst into a fit of laughter at this new spectacle.
"Oh, has anyone seen my arm? You can't miss it, it's green!" As he continued laughing, Yoshi spoke up again.
"Yeah, look. I've got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm." Mario looked a bit more cheerful, but that didn't stop him from asking the obvious question.
"What's the downside?"
"You'll have to distract him while I charge it."
"Well that doesn't sound too ba-"
"For five minutes. And seeing as he beat us to a pulp in under one...ah, never mind, I'm sure you can handle it." Mario looked a bit gratified.
"Wow. You really have that much faith in me?"
"Yeah. Sure, why not." Mario nodded.
"Well, then I won't disappoint you. Here goes nothing!" He leapt forward toward his brother. "Ready or not, here I-" He proceeded to erupt into screams of pain, which gave Yoshi a bit of comfort as he began to focus his energy.
"Do do, dododo, munumunut. Do do dodo, munumunut. Do do dododo, dododo, dododo, dododo I'ma charging my attack." As he finished this little melody, Mario caught a stroke of luck in grabbing Weegee by the tail.
"Ha! Got your tail!" His brother sounded a bit pathetic in his plea.
"Pleeeease let me go?" Mario began to release the appendage.
"Well, since you asked nicely..." As his hands fell, a booted foot smashed into his jaw, sending him flying once again. Back on the safe end of the field, Yoshi's fingers had begun lighting up with power.
"Perhaps on second thought a whole five minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle." Mario had once again succeeded in grabbing Weegee's tail, and seemed a bit more determined this time.
"Got your tail! Again!"
"Pleeeease let go?" Mario shook his head.
"I am not falling for that again."
"Pretty please?"
"Welllll..." With the loosened grip, Weegee spun around and elbowed Mario in the face, throwing him straight down onto his back. "Ow! Spine!" He then proceeded to slam a foot down onto his brother's chest. "Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs!" Raditz chuckled as his tail wrapped around his body again.
"Aha. Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one on one battle. A cunning strategy! No, no no, not cunning. What's the opposite of that?" Yoshi chimed in helpfully.
"Retarded?"
"That's it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Yoshi-" Mario piped up from under his opponent's foot.
"Ah ah, Namekian." Yoshi yelled back in anger.
"I'm not a Miyamoto-damned Namekian!"
"But you said you were!"
"It's called sarcasm!"
"What's that taste like?"
"DAMMIT MARIO!" Weegee smashed his foot down on top of Mario again.
"STOP IGNORING ME!" Mario groaned in pain.
"Agh, my ribs! I think you broke my...mmmm, ribs." Weegee continued to stomp his brother angrily, speaking between each stomp.
"Stop...ignoring...me...and...die! Huh?" He looked back over his shoulder as his device began to beep again.
"STOP BEATING UP MY DADDY!" Mallow leapt through the roof of the pod, causing it to erupt and charging at Weegee, who could only think one thing.
"No, my spacebalAGGH!" Mallow headbutted him straight in the chest, cracking his armor. "My space armor!" Yoshi kept them coming.
"We get it, you're from space." Weegee stumbled back in pain as Mallow fell to the ground beside his dad.
"M-Mallow? W-What...was that?" Mallow rose to his knees, crawling toward his dad.
"Daddy!"
"No, seriously, what the hell was that? I mean, we were getting slaughtered out there and you could do th...oh, crap." Weegee had reapproached the young pair angrily and was now brandishing a fist.
"UNCLE WEEGEE IS PISSED!"
The guys at TeamFourStar do not condone child violence. They do, however, find it hilarious.
Weegee smacked the youth off to the side, walking after him in annoyance as Mario tried to follow.
"Wait, hold on!"
"Oh, what? Mr. Shattered Ribs is going to stop me?"
"Wait, listen! You don't understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Peach would do to me if she found out he died!" Weegee raised a hand, charging it with power.
"Well, sucks to be you." A ball of energy formed in his hand as Mario thought to himself.
"I don't have any choice. I have to use my last technique!"
"NOW DIE!" Suddenly Mario leapt up behind his brother, grabbing him under the shoulders and wrapping his hands around his neck.
"Full Nelson!" Weegee glanced around in frustration.
"A full nelson? That won't work on me! I'ma Weegee, number one!" (Had to be done.) He shifted around, but found himself incapable of moving. "Ok, let go." He continued shifting, but Mario wasn't budging. "Ok, seriously, this is starting to piss me off!" Mario called out from behind his brother.
"Yoshi!"
"Ready!"
"Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I'm right behind him!" The Yoshi grinned evilly.
"Oh, sure. I'll give you a signal. It'll be the last signal you'll ever get!" He laughed maniacally, but Mario didn't really mind, considering his position.
"Well, okay. As long as we're clear on that." Yoshi raised his hand in the air, announcing the name of the attack as was customary.
"MAKASKA...MASAKAKAS...MEKASABAKA...Oh, to hell with it! SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!" A beam of light shot from between his fingers, arcing toward the pair across the field. From behind his brother, Mario asked a simple question.
"Is that what you're gonna yell out when yoOH MIYAMOTO!" The beam had completely pierced both of them, blasting through them and toward a nearby mountain where a Whacka had been happily singing the theme for a popular medicine before screaming in pain and fear as the mountain exploded underneath him.
Weegee and Mario fell to the ground together, Yoshi now towering over them both. Weegee reminisced on the battle, angry mainly at himself. "Dammit...and there was no way I could have gotten out of that..." Yoshi took it upon himself to point out the angrily obvious yet again.
"You know, you could have flown."
"DAMN YOU HINDSIGHT bleh." Weegee's face faded as he died. Just as he bit it, a helicopter flew overhead with Luigi's voice echoing from it.
"Mario, after several hours of debate, we decided you might need our..." He had finally gotten a good look at the battlefield. "Aw, crap."
They landed quickly, Luigi rushing over to Mario and gripping his hand. "Mario, you can't die. Here, I brought a 1-Up Mushroom!" Mario simply lay still as he spoke.
"I...don't think that's gonna work."
"Why not?"
"I sort of have a hole in my esophagus."
"Wait, then how are you breathing?" Mario's eyes began to droop, and he let out his last breath. "Mario? Mario?" The hero's head fell, and the realization hit his best friend. "Holy crap...I'm not the first person to die in this series!" Toadsworth glared down on Luigi disapprovingly.
"Luigi!"
"What?"
"Too soon." Daisy stood off to the side holding the young Mallow in her arms.
"I can't believe he's gone." Yoshi sighed briefly.
"Yeah, pity that. RHAAAAAH!" An arm shot from the stump he had had a mere second ago, one of his unique abilities. Luigi's eyes bulged.
"Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?"
"Yeah, and you know what else?" Luigi stopped cold, a bit of fear on his face now.
"What?" Suddenly Mallow appeared in his arms.
"I'm taking Mallow bye!" He launched into the air unobstructed.
"Quick, somebody stop him!" Crickets started up again under the lack of action. "Dammit, Toadsworth."
"Shut up, Luigi." Luigi owned count: 2
A bit back in time, Mario had a different strategy. As Weegee's foot lay on his chest, he called out. "Mallow, do a headbutt!"
Mallow used Headbutt! It's super effective!