Not my characters, and I make no money from them.
Unbeta'd. If there are minor typos, I guess I really don't care. I do feel obligated, as a TA myself, to state that I in no way approve of TA/Student relationships. Also, note that Ennis has no control over Jack's grade, and that they're both undergraduates. I'm not sure how that makes it better, but somehow, it does. Though it's STILL WRONG. Because I'm a TA so I know.
Chapter 2
Wednesday rolled around quickly, and Jack was sitting on the concrete patio that jutted out from his dorm basement smoking when he saw the familiar boy (shit, he really is just a boy like me, huh? Might act all smarty, but he's just, what, a year, two, older than me.) Two pm on the dot. Jack smiled bright, though he was thinkin' more 'bout what a shitty hour it would be. He hated doing physics homework. Always made him feel like a damn fool, and he hated it.
Ennis nodded his way, but was stern and focused, indicating they were going to get down to business. Jack led Ennis into the building and to the basement 'library', which Ennis thought was good. It was a small room, just big enough for the one round table. It had a wall of books, mostly science books, actually, and a small blackboard. The room was lit by one outside-facing door-sized window, and a chandelier with a warm glow. The place looked like it belonged at a fancier college, at Harvard or something, but Jack was living in a nice dorm-- one with a reputation for A/C and carpets and closets with doors.
They got down to business, making aquaintances with Halliday, Resnick, and Krane, and learnin' all about those men's views on the conservation of angular momentum. By the time Ennis had helped Jack through his entire assignment, three o'clock had come and gone. Jack thanked him and hurried off. Ennis walked alone back to his one-man domicile, and found himself wishing the professor would assign longer homeworks.
Three weeks passed in just this way. Jack's homework grades improved. But Ennis had never noticed before how lonely his life was. He went from home to class to teach to tutor to home, or home to class to lunch alone to class to home, with stops here and there to talk to Professor Pitt and get started on some field theory research. Ennis poured his heart and time into research and classes, trying not to feel the silence in his apartment. He'd never noticed it before, but it sure was loud, now.
Fridays Ennis got to see his only friend again. Jack had cooled his jets in discussion section, and regularly taken to abandoning his friends to drag Ennis to Taco Tower afterwards.
Jack for his part, had decided this quiet TA was a mystery he needed to solve. The boy seemed too sullen, and it bothered Jack to see someone so alone, Jack who had so many friends. Ennis, he learned, might be quiet, but was plenty opinionated, as long as one took the time to treat his opinions with respect. They talked about innocent stuff Friday evenings, about dogs and horses they'd owned, about how both thought they'd be ranchers when they grew up, about Professor Pitt and what an ass he was (Jack was surprised to find that Ennis agreed with him here).
When the second round of midterm exams rolled around, Jack asked Ennis for a couple extra hours-- if he could spare them. Ennis jumped at the chance to not be alone in his cold fucking apartment a minute longer than he had to be, screaming the silence he'd never noticed before, loud enough to beat his brain in now. That Friday after Taco Tower they walked back to Jack's dorm. They poured over physics until way too late on a Friday night to be doing physics, then they sat outside under the clear, sparkling stars. Jack got the bright idea to lay down on the hill his dorm was built into, and they chilled in the wintery grass, their breaths makin' smoke in the air to coil up and wrap together. That was the night Jack finally solved his puzzle.
They were layin' there, not doing or saying much of anything but enjoying the company all the same, when Jack sighed deep. "You know, was the stars made me want to do physics. Adding astronomy major, maybe drop physics." He exhaled again. "They just... they's always so hopeful, so bright. Even when you can't see them 'cause of the clouds or whatever, they're up there..."
The silence that beat on, then was quiet and lovely to Ennis's ears until Jack started again.
"You know what, growin' up, my life weren't too good, but I would head outside and look up at these stars, an' I felt like maybe there was somethin' out there for me. I started stayin' late at school then, more hours away from my old man. Eventually I realized I could head on off to college and get away from him permanent. It was either that or the rodeo, but there ain't no future in rodeoin'. You ever rodeo?"
Ennis shook his head. "Reckon was too busy on school, myself."
"Well, I gotta confess, I don't like school much. But anything's better than my old man. Can't please my old man no way."
"You like astronomy?"
Jack blew out a breath, then started, "Well, yeah. For one thing, astronomy's easier. Just more facts and less hard problems. But also, it's prettier. Know what I mean? I mean, there's one thing learning about a hypothetical massless frictionless pulley, but another thing alltogether studyin' a galaxy so far away you can't even see it." Jack's voice slowed as he said that, to a lyrical pace, like he was tellin' a story. "Two different things, Ennis. And one of 'em's worth more than the other."
Ennis nodded, reckoning he knew how Jack felt. "Like astronomy myself."
Jack's breath hitched. He felt about like Ennis had said something magical, like he said he could see the things Jack had always seen alone. Could see the twinkling stars as made a hope, could see those distant galaxies as made a dreams. "Yeah?"
"I been studyin' gravitational stuff under Dr. Pitt."
"No shit? That stuff scares me."
Ennis nodded again.
"So Ennis, how you get to be so smart, anyways?"
Ennis turned to look at Jack, saw friendly eyes, eyes that respected his opinions, and listened when he talked. He hadn't ever told anyone this story, but it seemed the right time ta do so.
"After my folks was gone, died in a car accident, my brother and sister didn't much want me. My sister married a businessman, had himself a good deal of money, so they sent me off to a boardin' school in Utah. Most of the people there thought I was stupid, 'cause I hadn't had too much good schoolin' up 'til then. Didn't like my roommates much, an' we weren't allowed ta be anywhere after dark 'cept the library, so I started studyin' full-time. I guess I really liked physics 'cause it felt like my own special world. Felt like I knew stuff 'bout the world no one else knew. To other people, it was a TV set, but to me it was like all those little electrons dancin', an' that were something special, I guess." He shrugged, and looked over to Jack, whose blues eyes were still pinned on him like he was of some interest. The gaze went on, drew in, got deep, had somethin' behind it, and Ennis was moved to break the silence somehow. "Whut?"
"Friend, that's more words than you spoke all semester."
"Hell, I think that's mor'n I spoke in a year." Ennis found his mouth turning up in a shadow mimic of Jack's friendly smile, backs damp and cold in the starry grass. Something moved him, and he kept goin'. "Guess my brother and sis did the best they could after my parents gone. They don't talk to me much anymore. Got their own lives, I guess. But my sis and her husband still put up some money for my college each year. That, plus the money I got from the state, more than enough. Your folks pay for your college?"
"They try. My mama thinks it's a fine endeavor. Think my dad just wants to keep me away. I got me a part-time job at the dining hall, but six dollars an hour don't pay for shit. Like I said, I rodeo some, in the summers, try an' win a pot or two to pay for college."
"My dad said rodeo riders is all fuck-ups."
Jack sat up, grin beaming in his mischevious way. "Hell they are." He kicked out a heel. It landed lightly on Ennis's leg, rocking him gently, before retreating. "You think I'm a fuck-up, Ennis?" Jack's grin said he was puttin' on.
"Sure are," Ennis chuckled.
Jack laughed heartily and flopped back down on the grass. What he said next he shouldn't a said. Shouldn't a come out of his mouth, but it did, damn Jack Twist. "For you, Ennis, I'd be any kind a fuck-up you wanted." Jack's eyes twinkled brighter than the stars in that cold dark.
Ennis smiled back over to him, but couldn't understand why he suddenly wanted to touch that boy. It didn't make any sense, but he reached out and gave Jack a fake punch to the shoulder, was rewarded by a beaming grin.
"You'll pass that exam real well, Jack. Know you will. You ain't any kind a fuck-up. Hell, most people wouldn'a found themselves a tutor even. Just let themselves fail."
"Well, I been down that road last semester, friend, and I ain't eager ta travel it again."
Ennis nodded.
"'Sides, I didn't find myself a tutor. I got something better. I made friends with my TA." Jack Twist winked over at Ennis then, and Ennis was forced to look away, so confused was he by the action. Was it wrong to be friends with a student you were teaching? Ennis didn't have any control over Jack's grade. He didn't think he was showin' Jack any kind of favoritism in class. Surely nothin' he was doing was wrong. Deciding he and Jack didn't do nothin' any TA might not a done with a student, he smiled back over. He noticed that Jack sure was lovely when he had stars reflecting in his eyes.
"Say, we studied hard. How 'bout that drink now?"
Ennis looked uncertain.
"Yeah, come on up to my room. It's too late on a Friday for me ta get a date or go out or anythin'. Guess you was my date, Ennis." Jack chuckled.
Ennis didn't find that too funny for some reason.
"It's fine, my roommate's gone home for the weekend. Does it every weekend. I always get the place to myself. Pretty good deal, helps out with the ladies." Jack winked at him.
That settled something in Ennis's stomach, and he nodded.
Jack's dorm room was pretty big for a dorm room. It had two desks, two closets (with doors), a set of bunk beds (Jack proudly proclaimed that he took tops always), and one soft denim bean bag in the middle of a large (carpeted!) floor space. A small TV/VCR set sat perched on a dorm fridge. Jack reached into the fridge and pulled out four beers. From what Ennis could see, it looked like they didn't keep much in the fridge besides Coke and beer. Ennis flopped onto the bean bag.
"You wanna watch somethin'?"
Ennis thought it might be crossin' a line to be illegally drinking with a student of his in that student's dorm room, not to mention watching movies together, but the thought of going back alone to his apartment that didn't even have a TV, on a Friday night when he could be drowsy over beer with Jack Twist... "Whatcha got?"
Jack pulled out a small box of tapes. "Uh... Goodfellas? Dances with Wolves? Hunt for Red October?"
Ennis picked Dances with Wolves. Because he knew it was a long movie.
Five (... six?) beers later, Ennis was surprised to look down and see that he was no longer alone on the bean bag. Both boys had their shoulders on the denim and their legs stretched across the carpeted floor. Their shoulders were touching just a bit. And no one could blame Ennis if he shifted just a little bit, because his right hip was hurting, dammit, and his shoulder pressed harder against Jack's. Something inside of his mind and body was screaming for more, but he was trying his damnedest to ignore it.
Jack, for his part, had become painfully aware of the boy brushing against him. He'd never felt anything like it, but he was so happy just to be lying here, he wasn't hardly even watching the movie. The beer made a golden haze over his world, and all that was left in it was one sweet, smart, lanky boy, and the hardening in his pants. He was aware of being terrified, of his heart pounding hard, of knowing he wanted to cross some lines that shouldn't never be crossed, some lines plenty of people had told him vile things about. But Jack couldn't hardly tell where those lines were over the roaring in his ears and flesh.
Jack would always think he made the first move, that Ennis's shoulder-press was a complete accident. But he couldn't hold it any more. Deciding he would rather get beat for tryin', then live with never tryin', he snaked a hand out and brushed the top if Ennis's (quivering!) thigh, real gentle with one index finger.
It was as if Ennis was a coin-operated ride, and Jack had slipped a quarter in. Ennis's hands flew at Jack, something giving way in them both, and button-fly jeans were being unbuttoned, a zipper fly screamin' its own song. They ended up with Ennis on top, hands finding their goals without losing time undressing. The boys twisted, ground against each other, and yelped with need. Somewhere in the middle of that, and maybe, they each thought, because of habit with girls (though Jack had far more experience on that account), their lips found each other's, and clung and ground with an even more fervent need than the rest of their bodies were feeling.
Almost as fast as it had started, Ennis grunted a "Jack, uh!", and Jack accompanied with his own "dammit, gonna, urmmm!", and it was over. Ennis seemed to freeze in time for an instant, then he jumped up as burned, zipped, and ran from the dorm room, sparing Jack one singular look Jack couldn't interpret on his way. Jack changed into pajamas, shut down the TV and climbed straight into bed. He didn't have a clue what had just happened, but he knew one thing, if it never happened again, his life would be the poorer for it.
The exam was on Monday. Jack showed up and took his seat in the classroom before he realized-- with horror and something sort of like delight, but brighter-burning-- that Professor Pitt hadn't shown up, and had sent a proctor instead. Ennis.
About ten minutes into the hour exam, Jack realized he'd spent the entire first ten minutes staring at Ennis. And not just Ennis, his crotch. He didn't know why. It wasn't like he hadn't seen, touched, held, pumped a dick before, but... His mouth was watering and he was wondering what it tasted like when he noticed Ennis was staring back, a thoroughly angry look on his face. Ooops, caught, Jack thought. He tried to finish the exam as best he could, but for some reason he couldn't remember any of his equations. Any except one. Ennis + beer + tatonka + bean beag way more fun than he'd ever had with a girl. But that didn't help with the exam. And Jack sure as hell was not going to look at Ennis again. Didn't want to seem like a pining girl in that angry gaze.
Jack turned in his exam after Ennis's sweet, mumbling, awkward tenor called time. He plopped it down without hardly lookin', and turned to leave the classroom as soon as possible.
"Uh, Jack, forgot your name."
Jack paused at the voice. Sure seemed like you knew it Friday night, Jack thought, a smile forming on his lips. Jack turned around, took back his exam, and leaned hard on the table. He didn't spare Ennis his own accusing glare when he said, "Yeah... Ennis?" He let the name hang in the air. "You got a pen? Mine's all packed up."
Ennis fumbled in his pocket. Jack used the excuse to look that way again, recognizing the jeans from this close vantage point. Jack took the pen, letting his finger touch Ennis's thumb. Ennis jerked back a bit. Jack didn't like that. Putting his name on his exam, he threw both it and the pen back on the low table Ennis was using to shield himself from the students. "Yeah, see ya around," Jack said, and spun from the room, feeling a sickness in his stomach he couldn't understand.