Unexpected turns

Chapter 2

I couldn't sleep at all. I kept tossing and turning in my bed thinking of ways to get Jane to confess her feelings for me. She had a great talent in hiding her strong feelings to herself which I presume Lowood had helped her do. I needed her to tell me that she loved me. That she needs me like I do her. Most of my charades with Blanche were over and I was thankful for it. They left last morning and that was the moment I got a breath of peace. Jane is such a hard rock to break. If she doesn't break any sooner my awful charade with Blanche would have to continue. I don't know how one could stay with her. Even though she's exquisitely beautiful her heart is one of the darkest ever unlike Jane's one. Hers radiates the brightest of lights. As I was thinking of all this I heard a set of footsteps along with a mirthless laugh. I sighed deeply knowing what I was going to have to face now.

After a long procedure of this too familiar incident in my life I managed to get her silently back up where she belongs with the now sober Grace. Muttering a small warning about her drinking habits I left the dreadful room and sighed deeply. I don't blame Grace for drinking so much because I have had many a experience of living life with that so called lunatic wife of mine. Why does my life have to be like this? Do I really deserve to suffer so much? Well the things I had done in my past were all due to my farce marriage, and it completely ruined my life. Although I call myself a worldly man in front of Jane I realise that I have been living in the dark all this time. My path out of this darkness into the light is Jane. Thinking of Jane made me want to see her right now. I made my way to her room and stood in front her door. My hand automatically twisted the door knob and my heart started beating fast at the realisation that her door just opened and I could watch her in slumber. She had forgotten to lock her door and I thank providence to have watched over her while bertha was on the release. I entered the room as quietly as possible and watched her fragile beautiful self on her bed. But her face seemed to be covered in an expression that I couldn't point out but she seemed to be in complete distress. As I was trying to figure out what was wrong she screamed. That one scream was filled with sorrow and loss. She sat up and I was instantly by her side. She stared at me as though she had seen a ghost with tears streaming down her face. She looked like she was in a daze but also awake as well. I was worried.

"Jane, are you alright? Janet? JANE!" with my hands on her shoulders I started shaking her for didn't seem to respond for my questions. She just stared at me.

All of a sudden at a very unexpected moment she embraced me so tightly like she could never let me go and started uncontrollably sobbing into my chest. I was too stunned at first to do anything. All with Jane was very unexpected but afterwards I took her into my arms embracing her as I had desired for so long. The words that she murmured amongst her sobs shocked and thrilled me. Her words touched me so much that I went as far as addressing her darling and saying that I would be with her always and forever. She was still shaking from top to bottom. Whatever she dreamt of had managed to render her to this state. I tried to calm her as much as possible embracing her and soothing her with calm words. Suddenly I had this desperate feeling to see her beautiful face at this vulnerable moment. So I left her embrace to slide open her room curtains to let the moonlight come in. As I did so I heard her say "Please don't leave me". That is when I couldn't bear it anymore. I needed to kiss her as I had in every dream so I turned towards her and took her face in my hands. As I did so I drank in all her beautiful features in the moonlight. She looked like an angel. My angel who had come to save me from all distress. I started to kiss her smooth forehead and cheeks. It felt nice. It felt like it was meant to be. As I was about to kiss her lips I felt her hands push me away slightly and the look on her face was more of a stunned expression. She started apologising for all that happened and said that she needed to sleep. And then the realization struck me. She thought that all that happened till I kissed her was a dream. What joy! She dreamt of me. With that consolation I murmured something and left her side.

Happy at heart I strode across the room and was about to close the door when she called out to me. Her next words made my heart stop and my breath hitch. I never expected any of these tonight. As she said this she looked embarrassed and turned to the other side of her bed. I still couldn't recover from the shock she had given me just a few minutes ago. As I strode towards my room in a daze I tried to confirm myself with what I discovered. Jane loves me! She loves me as I love her. Now all I need to do is give her a little push. I flopped onto my bed deep in thought. With that sleep overtook me carrying me into a deep world of dreams in which Jane never failed to appear.

I woke up with the happy thought of the start of a new day but as the images of last night and the revelations made flashed in my mind that's when I started to panic. How am I supposed to face him now? What will happen to our friendship? Various questions raced through my mind as I dressed up for the morning. I feared meeting him on the way to breakfast but was also curious about how he would act towards me. Did he get the fact that I love him? I sure hope not. I remember all what I had said but I couldn't remember his words. I remember him kissing my cheek and that gave me hope. The thought made me smile. I had already reached the breakfast room unknowingly with these thoughts and Mrs. Fairfax woke me up from my thoughts.

"Oh! Jane, Good morning."

"Good morning Mrs. Fairfax and good morning Adele." But she didn't seem to hear me. So I went up to her and spoke.

"Why don't I see a smile on your beautiful face Adele? What's wrong?"

At that she raised her face to mine and her eyes were filled with tears.

"I thought Monsieur Rochester would stay with us for a long time but he left this morning and everything is going to be so dull. I miss Monsieur Rochester." She cried in French.

Reader, I can tell you, that statement fed me a whole lot of disappointment. To the level to which I started to forget about everyone around me. I only noticed that when Mrs. Fairfax spoke to me.

"Jane, are you alright? Why are you standing next to Adele like that? You look pale."

I didn't answer her, instead I sat back down. At a moment like this I would have scolded Adele for speaking in French but the news she told me rendered me speechless.

"It is a pity that he left. Thornfield was pleasant with him here. Don't worry Adele. He'll be back soon. After all it is the rightful duty of a man to visit his betrothed from time to time." Mrs. Fairfax said smiling kindly.

I never spoke a word throughout breakfast but tried to soak in the reality of the situation. Betrothed? He was betrothed? How could I have done what I did last night if he was betrothed? I cannot believe what I did. I always end up in situations like this. Situations in which I never fit in. And here I fall in love with the master of the house. How stupid could I be? How could I think that he loved me in some way? He must be so revolted by me and what I did last night. He wouldn't have been able to bear the sight of me. And Blanche? After my dream the thought of her makes me shudder. That is why he would have left, because of me. Tears threatened to come out of my eyes but I controlled myself. Adele kept on asking me to come with her to pick flowers outside and I agreed because the fresh air would do good to calm my troubled mind down. During the pleasant activity that Adele was indulged in I embroidered myself a little handkerchief stitching all my thoughts of Thornfield into it. I have to say, the end result was beautiful. It would be like my souvenir of Thornfield as I had a feeling that I would be leaving it very soon. During this activity I convinced myself that I would control my feelings and face reality. I remember when Mr. Rochester told me that he wasn't marrying Blanche, but he will have to marry some day and I had a feeling that this someday would arrive soon enough. I am glad to have convinced myself and I felt stronger. I followed Adele back into the house only carrying my new born piece of work and forgetting the embroidery set. So I excused myself from Adele and rushed back to retrieve it. As I did so I unknowingly collided into something very strong causing me to stagger back but whoever it was pulled me with such a force that my lips literally landed on his neck, my hands on his chest and his hands were on my waist. Somehow we ended up like that for a few seconds. It felt nice to touch him and be in his embrace and he didn't let me go. I remembered how I had convinced myself to face reality and after a few seconds I quickly withdrew myself from him thinking of how much I must have annoyed him. Then I gazed into them, the ones I had thought had left and the ones that were like a drug to me. His fine black eyes. As I did so the kiss I gave him last night and the 'can be considered kiss' ON HIS NECK flashed in my mind and all I could think was "OH NO! Jane Eyre. Oh no…What have you done!?..."

Sorry for the really late update. And thank you to all who left comments. It really meant a lot to me. And I look forward to your support through the rest of the story. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I would appreciate your reviews for this chapter too. Thank you.