Chapter 13

The new school year started almost sooner than they'd wanted, but once it was underway it was clear that the stability of the scheduled school days helped Charlie and Adrian to calm back down some, to get back into things. Daniel and Vala had never been more thankful for school.

Both boys were just as smart as their older sister, though Charlie sometimes didn't appear as if he took as much advantage of it as his brother. He was more what Daniel thought Jack O'Neill would have been like as a child—though that seemed appropriate, and not very surprising seeing how much he loved to spend time with 'Uncle Jack.'

Not long after school started SG-1 decided, as a general consensus, that it was time to start going out again, even if they only started with basic reconnaissance. There were still plenty of addresses in the huge database that had never been dialed. The Jacksons had been back at work for a few weeks, but had only been working on base—which meant that Cameron and Teal'c had only been able to work on base as well, beyond occasionally going with another team to help out. The mood at the SGC itself was getting back to normal, even if SG-1 and those who knew them well were still a little more subdued.

But they were getting there.

Daniel pulled in a deep breath as he walked into the 'gate room with Vala.

"Are we ready for this?" Vala commented under her breath. They were at work, on base; she wasn't clutching his arm like she had been all morning. But she stayed close enough that their shoulders were pressed together. He didn't mind. It helped.

"Not really," he winced. "But…I guess we have to start somewhere."

"Why don't we just retire? We're old enough, aren't we?" She managed to make that statement sarcastic. Well, it was a step in the right direction, anyway.

Daniel shrugged. "Not really…not anymore, anyway. Improving medical technology on Earth's been changing all of that…"

"Whatever," she huffed.

Cam and Teal'c were geared up and waiting for them. They both looked over and smiled encouragingly. That was when they realized that their friends SG-13 was there, too, standing off to the side and doing the same, there to see them off. Daniel swallowed. He saw that Vala was a little surprised, too. But she quickly composed herself, and took a deep breath and let it out.

"Let's do this," she said quietly, resolutely. Discretely she wrapped her hand around his. "For Janet."

It had been fall when she had first seen this planet. Now winter had passed and spring was in full bloom. Janet shivered in a brisk breeze, glad that she hadn't yet put away her few winter dresses and leggings--even if most of the chill was inside her. It would be winter on Earth now, December or January…she had no way of knowing if she was 17 yet. If she wasn't, she would be soon.

She decided then to begin thinking of herself as 17; 17 was older. If she was older, maybe she could handle this better.

Janet had stopped looking down the trail every day for someone to come for her months ago, as the winter came and pressed on. She still held out hope that someone from earth, what was left of her family…would find her…someday. But she could no longer hope that it would only be a little while. And where else did she have to go before then? These people had rescued her from Osiris, cared for her…but according to their customs, that her made her theirs just as much as if they had captured her from an enemy tribe. They wouldn't let her leave.

She understood them better now, even if she didn't like the part of their culture that kept her bound here to their village. She'd discovered that she really did have her father's knack for languages, in the field and not just in learning them under his tutelage. It had taken her a couple of months, but she had picked up their language easily. Granted, Daniel Jackson could have been speaking it fluently in a week, but she was still learning. He had been doing it for sixty years. He'd lived in a foreign country with many language groups since he was a small child. She'd only been at it since she was eight.

It hurt to think of her father almost as much as it hurt to think of mom, Charlie, and Adrian back home. But Janet struggled not to let herself shut any of them from her thoughts. She knew these people's language--they called themselves the Leska--and she lived with them, but she would not become one of them. At least they let her keep her own name. That had been different from the similar Earth stories she had heard.

She had to remember them all. She had to get home, someday.

"Janet! Come!" Janet spun from where she stood at the edge of the village looking out at the forest-covered hills. Hadda, the woman she lived with--the one that had been there when she woke here the first time--was waving from the entrance to the hut. She had been married once, Janet had learned, but had never had children. Her husband had been killed in a skirmish with another neighboring tribe, thought it hadn't been Osiris's tribe. Apparently this planet was full of tribes of primitive people, not so unlike America back on Earth had been long ago.

"We must tend to the garden; the seeds will not grow if the weeds choke them out," Hadda called.

Janet called back in the native language; the one Hadda was speaking. "Coming!" She hurried back to the hut, and was handed a wooden gardening tool not unlike a hoe.

"Those weeds will not pull themselves; I asked you to see to them this morning," the older woman scolded gently. She wasn't unkind, but Janet wasn't entirely sure that she was exactly adopted, either. She wasn't really sure what their technical relationship was supposed to be. She wasn't a slave, but she wasn't a daughter, either. No one would discuss it. Maybe it was because she was really too old to be adopted. She noticed girls her age in the village being betrothed to young men of the tribe.

But that was all right. She didn't want to be adopted. She was going to get out of here. "I am sorry," she sighed, and followed Hadda back to the garden behind their hut. Each dwelling had a small one behind it that the family within tended to themselves, for fruits and vegetables. The larger fields, with crops similar to corn and wheat, were tended by the men, who also did the hunting for the meat.

Hadda was silent for a while as they worked, until she suddenly spoke up.

"It is time to find a husband for you."

Janet's head jerked up from her work. She'd been dreading this moment. "What? No! Hadda, I told you--I can't marry here. I'm not from here." She refrained from mentioning other reasons. As much as she hated being stuck here, she knew it wasn't the woman's fault she couldn't leave. It was their custom--it was the men who upheld it.

"What do you mean you cannot marry here? You live here now. And you must know that many of the men look at you. You are different. Your skin and hair are lighter. They like that."

She scowled. "I don't want to be with someone who only cares about me because of how I look."

"Some of them appreciate your spirit as well. A few would make a good husband for you. You would be loved, well cared for."

Janet dropped her tool, stood up and argued. "But I can't get married here. I can't stay here. You can't keep me here forever."

Hadda shrugged. "That is not up to me. By our customs, you are ours, at least until you are twenty-five summers. Then, if you still do not wish to stay, we cannot stop you from going."

"Twenty-five! But I'm only seventeen now! I can't wait that long!"

"You have no choice."

"Hadda, please; you have to help me…"

She frowned and shook her head firmly. "I cannot. You know the consequences. Do not speak of it again."

"But--"

"Silence!" Janet stopped and glared at her. "Until that time has come, you are one of us; which means that, as a woman now, you will take a husband. If you do not wish to choose him yourself, I will choose for you. I would make the choice I thought best for you, the most compatible man I thought, but you would be happier if you made the choice."

She swallowed hard, biting back the tears that solidified in a lump in her throat and tried to escape in a sob. "But--but I can't…"

Hadda looked at her for a moment, and her expression softened. She approached Janet and put a hand on either of her shoulders. Janet would have shaken her off, but something about the woman's expression stopped her.

"Janet…I know that this is hard for you. But can I tell you something?"

She could only nod, blinking back the tears and hoping they weren't noticed.

"It is a secret. I have never told you this, nor have I let anyone else tell you. I thought it should wait for the right time. I believe now is that time. Janet, I am not originally from this tribe. I as born to a tribe high in the mountains north of here. I was captured in a raid many many summers ago, when I was a little younger than you and this tribe lived closer to my people.

"I went through the same thing. But when I was seventeen summers, a husband was chosen for me by my keeper, and I was married to him. I still resented it then, and it was two more years before I even treated him kindly. And then, I began to realize that my keeper had indeed made a good choice. He was a good man. I fell in love with him just as much as if I had chosen him myself. I mourned greatly when he was killed six years later. We had not been blessed with children yet, and by that time I was a year past my twenty-fifth summer. I could have gone home to my own people. But I stayed. I am Leska now. One day, you will be happy. One day, you will also be truly Leska."

It was meant to make her feel better. It was meant to give her hope that everything would turn out all right. Maybe some small part of her did feel better, but the rest of her rebelled at the very thought of still being here at Hadda's age. She didn't want to be here for thirty years. It wasn't that she didn't like these people at all, but she wanted to go home!

Janet's breath quickened. She realized she was trembling. "No!" she cried. He pushed past Hadda, abandoning the garden work. She ranpast the huts, out of the village and down the trail. Many saw her go. No one stopped her.

She had learned later that after she had been knocked out when she had first been taken from near Osiris's village, that she had been drugged with the juice of a plant the hunting party had with them when they went foraging for meat and possible prisoners. It had kept her half asleep, unaware, but awake enough to be given food and water to keep her alive. They had kept her and the man they had captured also then, that way for almost a week's march to the village, to make them easier to transport. It had been a long-range party, and they had come a long way back here.

The Leska weren't afraid to let her outside of the village by herself anymore. They knew she wouldn't go far, because she knew that she would never find the stargate even if she did strike out on her own.

Janet ran blindly, until she realized that her feet had brought her to the stream that ran beside the village, only this point was a place she had found about half a mile outside of the village, if she judged right, where a small cave in the rocks left a place just large enough for a person or two to sit and hide, or think, or sleep protected from the wind.

She had come here often to think, in the past few weeks that she had been allowed to roam freely, since she'd found it. Crying softly, she pulled herself up into the small alcove and curled against the wall, her knees tucked up under her chin.

"We're done, Daddy!" Charlie announced as he tromped into the kitchen, Adrian trailing behind.

Daniel stood up from where he'd been leaning against the counter. "With your homework?"

"Yep! We did it good, too. It was all easy. It's no fair that Adrian doesn't have as much, though," Charlie pouted.

"He's younger than, you, dear; he's in a lower grade. Of course he has less homework," Vala commented. She was standing at the counter, back to them, looking a recipe over in preparation for making dinner. A second later she made a sound of frustration and turned around toward Daniel.

"What?"

"We're out of something I need for this recipe."

Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Then make something else."

"But I really wanted to make this one. We haven't had it in a while," she protested, putting on that pouty face of hers.

"No. No you don't. We'll be fine eating something else."

"Please….."

He looked at her for a few moments, and finally couldn't help but give in. "Fine," he sighed, defeated. "What do you need?" She told him what and how much, and he headed for the entryway. The boys stopped him, insisting on giving him a hug even though he would only be gone for a few minutes.

The boys ran off to play in their room, free now of the meager schoolwork of 2nd and 3rd grade. They were both a year ahead, too…just like their sister. Daniel had his boots and coat on, and was working on the zipper when he felt Vala wrap her arms around him from behind. He turned silently and returned the embrace just tightly enough, and they stood there like that for a moment.

He knew why she wanted to make that specific recipe. Or he knew a couple of reasons that might be the truth, anyway. Either she'd chosen it because it had been one of Janet's favorites…or because it took quite a while, in all, to prepare, and she wanted the distraction. Or both. He had never really been planning on denying her to right to do it today; the banter had been an attempt to stave off the tension.

Today was January 23rd--what would have been their daughter's 17th birthday.

"Will you be okay here?" Daniel asked quietly.

Vala sighed and pulled back. "I'll be fine." She started to smile a little. "When are you going to stop asking every time you have to go somewhere without me?"

"Because I want to know," he answered honestly.

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about me. What about you?"

"I'll be okay," he shrugged, and kissed her forehead. "I won't take long." He let go, zipped his jacket up the rest of the way, grabbed his wallet from the entry table, and reached for the door handle.

"Thank you."

He turned back for a moment; her eyes said much more. I know you know why I want this--and it is both, if you must know. But thank you.

Daniel swallowed, and gave her a small smile. She returned it, and he left.

When he walked out the door, he thought he was all right. He thought he would be fine. But then he got to the store, and it seemed as if everything he saw was out to hurt him.

Travis, of course, hadn't worked there in years. The fact that he wasn't there only served to remind him that things were different now. They could never go back to that time--with the young man smiling as he rang up the total, and a hyper young Janet talking to him from beside her father. Nothing he did could bring Janet back.

It didn't help when he tried to ignore it, and went to find what Vala needed. Everywhere he looked, and strange as it seemed, something on the shelves sparked a memory he didn't want right now, even if it would have been pleasant otherwise. Daniel found himself almost stumbling through the aisles, looking at everything and seeing nothing but the past. By the time he remembered where he was, he realized that he was standing in the middle of an aisle, bent over with his hands braced on his knees, trying to breathe through the pain in panic.

The world spun, and someone was calling his name.

"Daniel? Daniel! What? No, he'll be fine…just let me get him out of here…Daniel, can you hear me? Daniel. Daniel!" He managed to look up, and saw a white-topped head with worried eyes looking down at him through the blur.

"Jack…?"

"Yeah, it's me, buddy…come on…let's get you some fresh air, okay?"

His friend that had come out of nowhere took his arm and gently pulled him toward the front doors, and Daniel almost collapsed when he tried to use his legs. He leaned on Jack, who helped him out the door and into the open air. The cold helped him snap back to reality, and he walked by himself as Jack guided him out to his truck, sat him in the passenger's seat, and climbed into the driver's side beside him.

Jack put his key in and turned it enough to be able to turn on the heating, and then finally looked at him. Daniel was collapsed back against the seat behind him, pulling in deep breaths. "W…what are you doing here?" he managed.

"Well, for the same reason you were here originally, probably--you know, for groceries." He paused. "What's going on?"

Daniel sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "I don't know what happened…"

"You had a panic attack…" Jack helped gently.

"Yeah…I guess," he answered, a little sheepishly.

His friend looked at him. "And? What happened?"

"I--" But he stopped. He didn't have anything to say. What was he supposed to say? "Jack…today…"

"I know what today is, Daniel," Jack said quietly.

That left him silent for several long seconds. "I was fine," he whispered finally. "It just…happened. I don't know why."

"It's okay…it happens like that sometimes. It doesn't mean you aren't doing all right otherwise." Daniel didn't have to be told that. He'd seen his share of tragedy in his life. He'd experienced the aftermath more than once. Jack knew that better than anyone. But he also knew that sometimes it helped to be reminded. His friend gave him an appraising look, eyebrows up. "You want to talk about it?"

Usually, he would have said no. Six months ago, he would have said no. Three months ago, he would have said no. Yesterday, even, he would have said no. But not now. Daniel swallowed and looked at his best friend--the man he knew would always be there--and nodded slowly.

"Yeah…I think I can do that."

Janet didn't know how long she stayed by the stream--only that the light was dimming when she really looked around again. She swallowed and decided that she had better head back soon. As misguided as Hadda might be, strangely enough, she didn't want her to worry about her too much. She meant well.

She stared down at her feet in her moccasins, looked at the tanned skin of her legs that was visible even from under the longer winter dress. It was warmer today; she hadn't put on any winter leggings. As she looked down, her hair brushed the ground she sat on. It was twice as long now as it had been when she'd first set foot on this planet. The woman here didn't cut their hair unless it become overly cumbersome; they kept it as long as they could.

The highlights had grown out and only covered the bottom half, leaving an interesting effect; the top half of the length of her hair was only her natural, light brown color. It had been a darker brown when she was younger.

She had changed so much since then.

She had changed since she had come here.

Janet didn't like to think about it, but she was a little taller than Hadda now, where before she had just met her nose. Until now, she'd felt short for her age. She was pretty sure she was just as tall as her mother now, if not a little more, almost as tall as her father…had been. She grimaced.

She jumped at a touch on her shoulder. She turned and saw one of the girls her age from the village standing behind her, just outside the small cave. If she remembered right, the girl's name was Falah. Janet never associated much with the other young people of the tribe--or anyone that she didn't have to talk to, really. She didn't want to become too attached.

But Falah followed her sometimes, trying to befriend her, for some reason beyond her comprehension. They'd spoken a few times, about nothing important. She was kind.

The other girl jumped when she jerked, and apologized.

"I am sorry…I did not mean to frighten you, Janet. But Hadda told me that you had run off…and why. I hoped that I could help."

Janet sighed and let her chin rest on her knees again. "Thanks…but there's nothing you can do." She hoped the girl would just go away, but instead she sat down next to her.

"No…there is not much I can do. I cannot even offer understanding, because I was born here and have lived with this tribe my entire life. My family is here. I do not know what you are going through."

Janet frowned and looked at her, wondering where she was going with that.

"But…I can offer a listening ear. I can offer friendship.

She winced. "You must know why I haven't talked to you much before--or anyone."

Falah nodded slowly. "Yes…I believe I know why. I cannot blame you for it. But you cannot shut yourself from the world forever. You will never fell better if you live only for the day when you see your home again."

"Is it a bad thing to want to see it again?" she spat, maybe more vehemently than she would have wanted.

"No! Of course not; not to me. If one day your people come for you, and take you from us, then I will be happy for you. Yes, sad to see you go, but happy for you."

Janet looked at her sharply. "Why would you care if I left?"

Falah smiled at that. "Because I sense a good spirit in you; someone with whom I could become good friends." She became more serious again. "Janet, you must believe me--that it could only help you to open your heart to us. We want to care for you. I want to help you. I cannot if you do not let me."

Janet swallowed and closed her eyes, fighting the tears back, struggling to keep them from coming again. "I don't know if I'm ready for that. I just want to go home, Falah."

"Perhaps someday you will."

"That's the problem; I don't want it to be someday. I want it to be now."

"I know…and if I could help you, I would, but you know I cannot." She nodded weakly in response, and the other girl continued. "But right now, I can only offer what I have said. If…you are not 'ready,' then I can wait. I will be here, if you need someone."

There was a long moment of silence, until Janet spoke up softly. "Do you really care so much? Would you really help me? If I let you? I still want to be home…but I don't want to be miserable either. I know I should make the best of it…my parents always taught me that. But…I can't do it by myself."

Falah looked at her for another moment, and smiled gently. "Of course." And then she held out her hand. "Come. We will walk back to the village together. We can talk."

Janet looked up, hesitated briefly, but finally took a breath and reached out and took Falah's hand.

Daniel hurried in the door with the bag from the store. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to take so long," he apologized as Vala came to meet him at the door. She took his coat as he shucked it off, and hung it up while he pulled his boots off.

"What happened?"

"I uh…ran into Jack at the store. We talked for a while." He glanced up at her, and she seemed to understand. She didn't say anything about it when she accepted the bag from him.

"It's all right; there's still plenty of time. I was just getting a little worried, that's all," she told him.

"I'm sorry," he said again, standing and hugging her. He kissed her briefly on the lips this time. She still looked up at him in concern when he pulled back.

"Are you all right?" she asked, looking a little bewildered, too.

Daniel sighed a little and gave her an assuring look. "Yeah. I'm okay." And for once, it was true.

"Soo…how does it work?"

Falah turned. "What?"

Janet sighed as they kept walking, approaching the village now. "What Hadda wants to do--the whole 'finding me a husband' thing? I was just curious…"

"Ah. Yes, well, usually during the spring when a young woman is seventeen summers, she and her mother--or in your case, your keeper, the woman who takes care of you--will look, and decide who is the right young man to be her husband. They are officially betrothed at the end of the spring, and have the summer to spend time together, to know each other more, and to prepare for the wedding while the man builds the hut they are to live in as a couple. At the end of the summer, they are married, and have the fall to make their home ready and stocked for winter."

"Oh…uniform, isn't it?"

Falah shrugged. "It has been the way things are for generations."

"Right…" she sighed. "What about you? How old are you?"

"I am sixteen summers. I will go through this process next spring," she smiled. "However, I do not have much to fear. I know who I wish to marry, and I know he will agree. Our parents know each other well, which will also help."

Janet had to smile, too. "That's good, then. I'm glad."

"Do not worry, Janet. There are several fine young men here who would wish to marry you," Falah assured her.

"That's what Hadda said."

"It is true! Look, over there," she pointed discretely. "That young man carrying the wood. He is handsome, is he not? He is the older brother of my boy! He has had eyes on you since you arrived, his younger brother tells me. He does not mind your strong will; on the contrary, he is in love with it--with you, I dare say. But he is a good man; he would never even ask you to consider him if he did not think you were certain you wished to marry."

Janet looked were Falah pointed, and saw a boy that was handsome, indeed, and about Travis's age. That thought stung, but she ignored it. It wouldn't help now.

"Huh…what's his name?"

Falah smiled. "He is Trinan. His younger brother is Jadas."

"Interesting name."

"All of our names are 'interesting' to you," she teased.

"Well, I guess that's true," Janet chuckled.

Falah nodded in what seemed to be approval at the levity, no matter how brief, as if to say You'll be fine. She hoped it was true.

Sam motioned to him urgently from her office door, and Daniel changed course in the corridor to follow her inside. He closed the door, and she sat on the edge of her desk.

"We need to talk," she told him immediately.

"I kind of figured that when you waved me in here. What's up?" he asked, eyebrows up and arms crossed.

She crossed her own and let out a breath. "All right. You know the IOA let us not bother with Osiris because we were sure he had nowhere to go. They were fine with that then, surprisingly--then."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah…then. Why? Are they not now?"

Sam's mouth pressed into a thin line for a moment before she answered. "It's been almost a year, Daniel. Their personnel have changed. And no, they're not happy with that decision anymore. And they must be persuasive; the President is backing them now."

Daniel groaned. "Just what we needed…what does that mean for us?"

"That's the part I needed to talk to you about. It means someone has to go back there. They want Osiris neutralized," she winced.

He froze, and he felt his face go stony. "Go back…"

Sam held up a hand quickly. "You don't have to go--you or Vala. It doesn't even have to be SG-1 at all. It just has to get done. Those are my orders. I just thought you should be the first to know."

Daniel swallowed. "No…if anyone's going to do it, it should be us--SG-1, I mean. If they want to. If Vala wants to. But whoever goes, I have to go with them," he told her firmly.

She looked at him skeptically. "Are you sure…?"

"More sure than I've been in a long time," he answered grimly.

"We have to talk to the others first before I assign the mission to SG-1."

"Of course," he said quickly. "I wouldn't make any of them go anywhere near that planet again if they didn't want to."

Sam looked concerned. "You're sure you have to go?" she asked again.

Daniel nodded certainly. "I'm going, Sam."