Chapter 14

All Janet had done was mention what Falah had said about Trinan to Hadda; she hadn't even suggested she agreed. But in the end, the young man was chosen to be her betrothed, and she couldn't disagree. He did seem the best choice, if she had to make one.

As Falah had told her, they were betrothed at the end of the spring. The ceremony was short and to the point, and as it had been explained to her, they had to summer to get to know each other better. Janet had discovered that Trinan really was a good man. He was kind, polite, and she didn't have worry if he only liked her because she was something different. She knew he liked her for who she was. In fact, it seemed he was positively head-over-heels in love with her.

That didn't help any.

Not that she didn't like him. He was sweet. During the summer, he worked hard, building a new hut for them to live in when they were married. But she was still afraid of getting too attached to the Leska and their world. She didn't want to fall in love.

Of course, Trinan seemed to understand her hesitation, and he gave her her space when she needed it. That didn't help in the not becoming attached category. When she was afraid she was getting too close she would think of Travis, even if it hurt because he wasn't there.

She did let Falah be a friend to her, and she was the best friend she could be in return. It was the least she could do, as much as the girl was trying to help her.

Janet eventually managed to convince herself that going along with what everyone here wanted was best for now. As Hadda had said, she could always leave later. She didn't really want it to be that long…but if by some chance she found no other way to leave before then, Falah was right. She shouldn't be miserable.

And even if she didn't feel about Trinan the way she had to admit she'd felt about Travis, he was still perfect in every other way. And he loved her. She couldn't ignore that. After much time reasoning with herself, she convinced herself that she would be all right. She had to be all right. She had to make it work.

For now.

In the final weeks before the wedding, she realized that she was happy. The longing to be home was there, but she had people here--a woman who had taken care of her, a good friend, and a man who loved her. She couldn't ask for more, here anyway. And it wasn't her fault that the old chief of the tribe was a stubborn man stuck in the ways of the people of this planet. It wasn't their fault that he wouldn't authorize letting her go. They cared about her. For now, if she couldn't be home, they were all she needed.

Janet fell into the preparations for the wedding with renewed vigor, and pushed back the remaining hesitation, found herself spending more time with Trinan, did more things with Falah and the other girls of the tribe.

She laughed. She realized she hadn't done that in months.

Maybe Hadda was right. Maybe she could be happy here.

"I know you miss your home," Trinan whispered to her one evening, when he held her in an embrace before she went back to her hut to help Hadda with supper. "But I love you. I hope you will be happy."

Their wedding day was two weeks away that day. Janet smiled and little and answered back quietly. "You know…I think I will be." She pulled back and looked at him. "But…you know I'll want to go home when the time comes. You could come with me…"

He shrugged. "We will see. If I cannot find a way to get you home before then. But…if nothing happens before then, and you love me enough to stay until then…I will follow you anywhere," he grinned.

They looked at each other for a moment, content. Trinan leaned forward slowly, and Janet realized he wanted to kiss her. She turned her head away and let go of him completely.

He sighed. "I am sorry…"

She shook her head. "No…it's okay, I--I'm just not ready."

"I understand. Perhaps I should go now."

Janet nodded silently, and he left. She stepped inside the hut, and Hadda gave her a knowing look. Maybe she'd heard it all, or maybe not. It wasn't important either way.

That had been two weeks before. Now, it was the day before their wedding.

She still hadn't let Trinan kiss her; but she was still telling herself that it would work. It would be all right.

Her resolve suffered a blow when she saw herself in the wedding dress she was to wear. It had been Hadda's, and she and Falah were fitting it on her. It was made of material that had been worked more than the material of their usual dresses, so it was smoother, and it touched the ground. For Hadda, it had dragged, but it looked fine like it was, according to them. The sleeves were short, and ruffled a little, as much as homespun material could be--as Falah had explained, most weddings here took place in summer. They told her that a rare local plant was used to bleach the material white. Here, that was why only wedding dresses were white.

When Hadda and Falah were done looking, and adjusting, and pulling out or putting in a stitch here and there, making sure that the simply-designed dress fit her well, Janet looked at herself in the dirty scavenged metal these people used as mirrors. But even in that, she could tell that she looked like a bride, yes. She fit the dress perfectly now. By these people's standards, she was the perfect bride, at least by appearance. To them, she was beautiful, exotic…but all she saw in the makeshift mirror was a girl who was much too young to marry.

How could she get married? She still missed her own mother too much…she couldn't be one! Here, new couples were generally expected to have a child in the first year. Janet swallowed hard. By the time they had the dress off of her, she was nearly hyperventilating.

Falah put an arm around her shoulders. "What is wrong?"

She shook her head and pushed away, pulling her own shorter summer dress back on. "N-Nothing…"

Hadda looked at her, eyebrows raised. "You are having second thoughts."

"Well…yes! Look at me, Hadda…I know I'm taller than you. Maybe I can act mature if I have to…but am I really ready to be a wife? A mother, even? How can I do this now!"

Both of them surrounded her, and set her down on the bed. "Janet…listen to me," Hadda began. "I know how you feel. Even though with our people it is tradition to marry at this age, I still did not think I was ready when I was married. And if you recall, I still had not made peace with my situation. I was much more angry than you. But it worked out for the best, even if we only had a few short years together. You will have much more time with Trinan."

"And he's wonderful," Falah smiled.

"It may take time for you to become comfortable being his wife, but you will be all right. I know you; you are strong, and you adapt. You will be just fine," Hadda agreed. "You must not doubt yourself."

Janet managed to smile at them a little, and it calmed her for the moment. It helped that she was out of that dress.

A voice came from outside the hut. "Are you women done in there? I'd like to see my bride one more time before tomorrow."

Hadda called out the closed door. "Yes, she is out of the dress. I have put it away. You may come in."

Trinan pushed open the door and grinned and Janet. "Are you coming?"

They had to spend time together now, because tomorrow they wouldn't be allowed to see each other until late in the afternoon, when the wedding took place. It had always seemed strange to her, how some things were similar wherever you went through the 'gate. Janet put a smile on her face, slipped her feet back in her moccasins, and followed him out.

"Come," he smiled mischievously. "There is somewhere I want to take you."

"Okay…" she agreed, bewildered. Trinan led her out of the village, and up the stream the other way from her hideout in the rocks. She had never been very far this way. She hadn't wanted too; it was farther from the gate--farther from home. She followed him to a rock outcropping, where the stream got wider. He took her hand to help her, and they climbed up and along the slope until they rounded a corner, and she saw that they were on the rocks, jutting out over a waterfall. She wouldn't have known the place was there. It had looked like the rocks ended, but then Trinan had pushed aside several branches, and pulled her through. It wasn't huge, and they weren't incredibly high up, seeing as the water was more a stream than a river, but it was enough to be beautiful.

"Trinan…" she breathed.

He smiled. "This is where I often come to think."

"How did you find it…?"

"It was while hunting, back when I was learning and I was boy. You see this?" he fingered the arrowhead necklace that he always wore. "This is not an arrowhead made by my people. It is one made by our ancestors, generations ago. I found it here."

"Huh. It's pretty…I always wondered where it came from."

"No one else knows where this place is. At least I don't think so. But…seeing as you are to be my wife, I thought I should share it with you."

Janet swallowed hard, suddenly fighting tears. "I-I…" She was touched, but that wasn't why she felt like crying. It was what it all meant.

"Janet?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. She returned the embrace tightly. She had to do something about this. This had to work, if she wasn't going to be miserable here. Trinan cared for her. He loved her. She was sure she cared about him too, even if she wasn't in love with him. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"You are welcome," Trinan answered quietly. "Do you like it?"

Janet pulled back, looked at him, and made herself smile. "I love it." That wasn't a lie. But she wasn't sure whether what she was about to do was or not. But if she didn't, she would never be able to make this work. Trinan was still smiling at her, and she felt him run a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face.

While she had the chance, Janet tilted her face up, leaned forward, and kissed him. She ignored the tears that fell.

Vala didn't answer for a long time. Daniel moved across their room to sit beside her on the bed. He put an arm around her, and she leaned into him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Finally, she sighed and nodded. "I'm all right." She sat up and looked at him. "And I'm coming with you."

Trinan had been surprised, to say the least, but pleasantly. They went back to the village hand in hand, and more slowly than they had come. Janet went to bed that night feeling better than she had before, and trying to ignore the lingering apprehension.

Her careful masking of her fear was shattered later that night when she jerked away, crying softly. It took a moment for her to even remember what had made her wake up, and wake up with a damp face. She didn't recall the dream being anything but normal.

And then she realized that everyone in every dream she'd had that night had been speaking Leska. There hadn't been a single word of English.

And it scared the breath out of her.

She had had scattered dreams with one or two people saying things in Leska every now and then. After all, it was the language she heard and spoke every day now. But she had never had dreams in such thorough Leska. Janet crawled out of bed quietly, breaking out in fresh tears that she struggled to keep muffled as she pulled her moccasins on through the blur. She ran out of the hut, and down the path out of the village, letting her sobs break loose.

When was the last time she had spoken English? She still thought in English, but she couldn't even remember the last time she had spoken it, now that she thought about it.

Janet jerked to a stop on the path. "I'm not Leska!" she shouted at the sky. She dropped her knees, crying. She racked her brain for English songs, poems, lines from movies, anything and everything she knew, and said it, or sang it softly. Eventually she dissolved into sobs again, gasping out a line from a song between breaths, mindlessly.

It took her a long while to realize that someone was holding her, once she'd calmed down a little, and finally they spoke. "Janet?"

She jerked back, sliding across the ground, and wiped at her face furiously. "Trinan! What…what are you--" She stopped when she realized she was still speaking English, and she switched. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at her with concern. "I could not sleep…I saw you run out of your hut. I was worried for you."

Janet swallowed. "I'm sorry…I'm all right."

"Is it about tomorrow?" he asked gently.

"No, not that at all," she said quickly, shaking her head. She slouched more. "All right…maybe a little."

"Perhaps a lot," he said grimly.

She looked at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

Trinan sighed. "I was here, Janet. You were saying things in your own language. I could not understand any of it…but when you did speak in Leska…and even when you did not, I know what you meant. You do not want to marry me."

"What? No! It's not that…you're wonderful, Trinan…it's just that I'm missing home right now. What with tomorrow…you can understand that, right? I still want to marry you…"

He smiled a bit. "Perhaps you do…but that is not the point. You do not love me, do you? Not really."

"I-I like you…"

"But you do not love me. You can tell me the truth. I will not get angry with you."

Janet sighed and looked away. "No…not like I should…not like I wish I could sometimes, because it would make this easier, but…no. I don't. I'm so sorry…"

"Was there someone else? Back on your world? Someone special?"

She started to shake her head, and then stopped. "Well, there I was farther away from typical marrying age and all, but…there was someone that it could have worked out with. Maybe. I don't know. He's a lot like you. Again, I'm sorry…"

He tilted her chin up to look at him. "It is all right. I suspected all of this time. I hoped it would be all right. I suppose it still would be, mostly. But if you do not want to do this, then I can talk to someone…we can do something…"

She sat up straight quickly. "No. You know the customs, the rules…I'll have to marry someone, sometime soon. I want it to be you. And it might as well be tomorrow or I'll never be able to do it." She hugged him hard suddenly. "I want to make this work," she swallowed.

Trinan sighed and returned the embrace. "I do as well…but only if you are sure."

"I'm sure. I have to be sure about something," she sighed, sitting up again and drying her eyes.

He looked at her for a long moment. "Then we are going to do this?"

"Yes." She might have said something else, but a sudden mass cry pierced the air, and sudden light flickered from back toward the village. Trinan whipped around, pulling her behind him.

"What is it!" she cried suddenly. He pulled her off the path quickly, running into the thick foliage.

"The village is being attacked by another tribe!"

"What?!" She looked again. The flickering was flames. The cry had been a battle cry. She could hear the sounds of a battle breaking out. "No! Hadda! Falah!" She started to lunge back toward the village, not sure what she could do, but Trinan held her back.

"No! Wait…"

She looked at him incredulously. "Why? We have to help!"

"Do you want to get home?"

"What?"

He took a deep breath. "I have a plan…but for it to work, you must stay here. You must not be seen in the village. Trust me. Stay here, and stay hidden--especially from the enemy, but even from any of our tribe. Stay out of sight."

"B-But--"

"Please! I can help you…I think I know how to make sure you get home…but if you want to stay that can be arranged too, but if you want a chance of getting home without struggle, and soon, then you must stay here." He looked her in the eyes. "Do you trust me?"

She nodded, and he sighed. "I will be back. If I am not…" He swallowed. "I will see to it that Hadda or Falah knows where you are. But do not move until one of us comes for you. Do you understand?"

Janet nodded again, quickly, and he kissed her forehead. "I love you." Then he left quickly, disappearing before she could respond. Stunned, she sank to the ground in-between stands of bushes and wrapped her arms around her legs, burying her head in between her knees to block out the sounds of battle and death.

The next morning at the SGC, Daniel and Vala were the one to tell Cameron and Teal'c about the mission Sam had proposed per the IOA's orders. Both looked at them in concern.

"Whoa…are you guys sure you wanna do that?" Cam wondered aloud.

"Of course we are. If we didn't want to do it, we wouldn't be telling you about it," Vala retorted.

Daniel sighed. "We're not saying it'll be easy for us to be there--but we have to do this. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't."

"Then you are certain," Teal'c said, eyebrow raised.

Vala looked at her husband. "Why do they keep asking?"

Cam shrugged. "Okay you guys…if you're gonna do this, then we're with you." The rest of their own team weren't the only people they asked. They asked SG-13 too, and they all volunteered without question. Travis seemed just as determined. Now all they needed was a plan.

Janet didn't know how long she'd been there, only that the sounds of battle had faded, and no one had come. She resisted the urge to cry, telling herself that Trinan and the rest of them were all right. She didn't remember how many times in the night she'd had to fight not to jump up and run into the fray--to do something. How could he expect her just to sit here? But he'd told her to trust him.

The predawn light was eerie, and the smoke drifting down the path didn't help any. She couldn't really see the village. She didn't know how much of it had survived.

Finally, she heard footsteps on the path. She looked up--and saw Trinan, Hadda, and Falah coming toward her.

"Trinan!" she cried. She jumped up and ran to him. He caught her in his arms and carried her back into the foliage.

"Shh! You must still not be seen."

"Why…?" She noticed that he had a bulging bag over her shoulder, and that Falah was carrying one of the portable water skin bags. It, too, was full. They saw she was looking at them, and Falah spoke up, looking sad.

"It was all we could bring unnoticed. These will not be missed later. The attackers took things, too. No one will know the difference."

Janet looked back and forth between them. "What are you talking about? How's the village, everyone…?"

"There are not too many dead…" Hadda said sadly. "But we did lose men. And a two women who tried to help in the battle. All of the children are safe, thank the gods. Most of the village survived. We put out the fires with dirt, and it did help that we are close to the stream. Our men fought bravely…the other tribe fled soon after attacking. They did not get much to bring with them. We will survive."

Trinan continued quietly, pained. "If you wish to go home, then I will tell you how to get to the ring, and you will take the food and water and go. When we get back to the village, we will tell everyone that we looked for you, but either that we found you dead, or that you must have captured. That way you will not be missed, either. That is why I told you to stay here unseen."

She looked at Hadda incredulously. "You agreed to this?"

She raised her hands. "Perhaps I am an old woman who is stuck in many old ways, but I did not concoct this plan. I will not help either. I will not say a word. But I cannot stop them from saying what they wish." Then she smiled, and Janet knew that she, too, agreed with this plan, if she wished to take it.

Janet looked at the man who had made it possible. "Trinan, I…I don't know what to say."

He smiled. "You can take what we have for you, and go home and live a long, full life with your people.

Falah looked ready to cry. "Just do not forget us."

She swallowed, suddenly developing a lump in her own throat. Trinan took the bag off of his shoulder and draped it around hers. Falah handed her the water skin. Together they were a little heavy, but she would need them for the long trip. "Thank you…" she whispered. "Of course I won't forget you. Any of you…and not after this."

"Then you will go?" Hadda asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "I have to. I have a mother and two brothers at home who don't know where I am. And…maybe someone else. I have to go back to them if I can. You just gave me that chance." She choked out a sob, "Thank you."

Hadda was the first to pull her into a final embrace and bid her well and farewell, then Falah. "Thank you for helping me," Janet told her. "I would have been miserable until now if it weren't for you."

"What are friends for?" she whispered back. "I will miss you."

"You, too."

Trinan was last, and the two woman stepped away. Janet looked at him. "Thank you so much for this…you didn't have to do it."

"I know…but you will be more happy with your own people, your family."

"So how do I get there?"

"It is relatively simple, really. Follow the stream downstream for three days' journey until you come to another, larger stream that it meets. Perhaps you could call it a small river. But turn and follow it downstream as well for two more days, until it empties into a large lake. Then go around the lake and walk toward the setting sun. You will soon come to the ring. The lake is not far from it. But be careful; neither is it far from Osiris's tribe. Less than half a day's journey."

She nodded. "I will…thank you."

He looked into her eyes again. "I will miss you as well. Very much."

Her breath caught at the look in his eyes. "Are you asking me to stay?"

"I would…if I did not know how much you rather be home."

"Thank you for not trying to ask me." She smiled a little. "I might just have agreed. And hey…maybe I'll visit."

Trinan smiled too. "May I ask you something else?"

"I guess so…"

"May I kiss you again?"

"That I can do," Janet agreed. He kissed her gently, and she kissed him back. When he pulled back, he pulled the necklace from around his neck and pressed the arrowhead and beaded string into her hands.

"Please take this…I want you to remember us, too."

"No, Trinan, I can't take this from you…"

He kissed her forehead again. "It is all right. I can find another one. Please. For me. Bring it with you?"

She sighed. "All right…on one condition." His eyebrows went up, ready to hear it. "Put it on me." He nodded with a little smile, and she handed it back to him and turned around. He set it around her neck, and gently pulled all of her hair through and let it fall again. Then he turned her around and straightened it in the front.

"Is that good?"

"That's perfect." She hugged him again, hard. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye," he whispered.

Janet let go and looked around at all of them, and said goodbye once more. "I won't forget you," she promised. Then they went back onto the path, and she hurried through the woods to find the stream. She soon found it, and started walking the right direction, adjusting the bags on her shoulder. She looked back, and caught once last glimpse of her friends on the path. They waved. She waved in return.

Then the trees hid them completely, and Janet turned her back on the village and walked toward home.

She didn't look back again.