Once upon a tim, there was Shrek. Shrek was god, and he create everything. 1st, he screamed LIGHT, and there was light. Then 2rd, he wispered ANIMALES, and there was animulls. 3st, the mitey Shrek shouted, MOON, and there was moon moon. 4rd, Shrek said WATER and water be. 5st, Shrek murmured sexily FIYAH, and FIYAH was. 6nd, Shrek god sang EARTH, and the world was created. 7st, the Shrek created air, atoms, chemicals, and their compounds, and evolution.
From his own doodoo, Shrek made the first MAN and women.
The man's name was Atom, and the women were named: Evelynnda, Jizzica, Fish House, Salmon Breath, Megan Foxy, LaShawndaniqua, Xian Xi, Marry, Jewlia, Okayla, Morgan Freewoman, Stevanie Buscemi, Christiana Biblehumper, and Kim Jong-Well. In the guardin of Even, Atom invented the camera and porn. Atom got jiggy wit awl da ladies. Evelynnda gave birth to 40 human babes, so did the others. Together they all had 560 human babes, which all bread to have 7 billion human babes. From Evelynnda, Jizzica, Jewlia, and Okayla, came the white peeps. From LaShawndaniqua, Morgan Freewoman, and Fish House, came the black peeps. From Xian Xi and Kim Jong-Well came the Asian peeps. From Salmon Breath and Marry came the other/Pacific Islander/whatevan peeps. From Christiana Biblehumper came the Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons.
And from Shrek came Shrek.
And then the Shrek created Mario. And there was great love between them. And so, in this Bible of Shrek, is the first ever written pornograph scene.
Shrek flew down from heaven sensually. He saw the beautifully sexy Mario and he was horned. Mario seen Shrek and came. Shrek riped off Mario's overhulls and passionapely kissed him. Mario screamed manly in passion. Shrek said, "get out me swamp." And bent Mario over. Shrek entered Mario and thrust into his GPS spot. Mario whined sexually, "Mama mia!" And they both camed. Shrek god said, "It's not ogre yet, sex love yes" and they made sex for 10 days. Shrek loved Mario so much that they had a babe. It was a fuckboi, and they named him Jesus. Jesus was not white. Jesus was 1/2 Ogre and 1/2 Japanese Italian. Jesus was beautiful. Jesus was given to some Jewish virgin, and was later crossifired because he was a sexy demigod.
Then Shrek god brought him back to life as a vampire as a prank. It was fucking hilarious. And then Shrek god thought that there needs to be more terror in the world, so he populated the deep sea with ugly monsters. And then he created Komodo dragons, giant snakes, bears, spiders, Justin Bieber, and swag.