Being the daughter of the only consulting detective in the world, it's something everyone always seems to appear to think it's hard work trying to keep up his reputation. To be clever, be able to deduce and have a mind palace, all that stuff. That the easy part. The hard part is the part he also is rubbish at, all the people and trying not to kill them all. I worked out if I just avoid pretty much all social contact Dad won't be called to the murder I caused. At this moment in time it might be my brother or one of his stupid friends, William lives in the best of both worlds he is clever but also really understands people. He isn't so clever he gets driven mad by his own brain, and he isn't so desperate to please people that he is easily manipulated. In many ways he reminds me of John. John is amazing, sometimes I wish I could have him as my Dad. Katie is lucky, I don't know her very well as she is away at university.
I have one problem with lying to my parents, Dad. I don't care if deduction skills are useful, he refuses to use them on us, but he can't help seeing things, he doesn't tell Mum, because he did that once and she shouted at him rather a lot, so he has given up telling her. He is also normally too scared to bother saying anything to me, or he just doesn't care.
I don't know if he knows though. I think if he did he would probably have told Mycroft and let him deal with it, or he might have shown some sign of knowing. He might have told John. But if he has no one has done anything. They are hiding, covered up. But that's not normally enough, he probably isn't looking for it though. They are only small, small silver and red chinks in me. In my brain, in my body. I didn't mean to. I did, but I didn't expect it to be so hard to escape. Yet if someone found out they might try to change me, and interfere, they won't care about who I am and how it makes me feel, they will just tell me not to hurt myself. Then if I stop doing hurting, they will forget about me and leave. I don't want anyone to care about me, caring is a weakness, and should be avoided.
So today Will and I are being dragged to John and Mary's. It happens quite often. I say dragged because we are going over at 10. It's much too early for my brain. I will be tired and therefore need blades. Being tired means I cut more, my brain doesn't let me think otherwise. My brain is too slow, even on strong black coffee.
John, Dad and Mum and Will were playing some stupid board game. It was really dull, it was too easy, I could easily just deduce what everyone else was going to do, and then plan accordingly. The reason why Dad was winning. I gave up and decided to go help Mary in the kitchen, I was given the job of cutting the vegetables, it was the closest thing to hurting that I could get away with right now, Dad wasn't engrossed in the game quite enough to risk it. I had hurt before we came, and it had been deeper than intended so I replayed it over and over in my head.
Mary gave me a questioning look. I gave her one back, quickly deducing her. What was up with my arm, agh crap, I forgot Mary has a past. She could she the blood that has seeped through my black cardigan, Dad doesn't normally notice that, he isn't normally looking for it, so he doesn't put two and two together.
I quickly told her not to worry, this didn't work, she knew.
It was a week later when Mary decided to try to talk to me about it. Mum and Dad were going away, as it was their wedding anniversary. Will and I were staying at John and Mary's for the weekend. Mary had taken me shopping, which was rather dull, other than the deductions I was playing with. Mary had bought me a milkshake and we were sitting in the park. I knew this was when she was going to try and talk to me.
"Vanessa, look I know what you are doing, you are trying to hide it all from me, but I want to help you. I know you don't want me, but if you don't give me a chance I might have to tell your Dad if it gets worse, and I will be keeping an eye out for it now. I did already have my suspicions, because without them I wouldn't have noticed last week."
I gave in, I decided to play along with it, I didn't need Mum and Dad to find out, that would make everything worse. Mary let it there, she didn't bother trying to push for anymore. Which I found weird, I had expected that when someone found out they would demand me stop and demand answers to stupid questions. She did give me a hug though, I think she did genuinely care about me. Which meant she might have more of a chance of not really annoying me. Also Mary wouldn't tell anyone without asking me first, she knows what it's like to have secrets, I can't read her very well, I know she has had a messed up past. Her family didn't like her or care much for her, which I think is probably pushed her into her work, if it can be called that.