Bucky rests his head against the cool glass of his sister's '85 Impala and wills his tears back into his eyes. He can't let Steve know he's been crying, the stupid punk would just get angry and tell Bucky to run away again. No matter how much Bucky wishes he could, he knows he has to stay, at least until Becca turns eighteen and he can live with her.
"Hey, Buck." The car slows down and Becca pulls over to the side of the street. Bucky turns to look at her without lifting his head off the window. She has her hands gripped on the steering wheel and a frown pulling at her mouth.
"What is it Becca?" He asks her.
"I don't like how he talks to you Buck. The things he says…" Becca shakes her head and a few drops of water fall from her eyes. "He wasn't always like this. When Mom was still alive, he was real nice, y'know?" She looks at him with tears running down her cheeks. "But, after she… He was a mess for a long time. I knew he was angry, but I didn't… God, Buck I swear I didn't think he felt like that. I didn't think he blamed you for it." Bucky looks away and squeezes his eyes shut. "Bucky, please." Becca's hand touches his shoulder and Bucky turns to look at her. "I need you to know that it wasn't your fault. No matter what lies Dad tells you, I need you to know that Mom's death isn't on you."
"Yeah Becca, I get it." Bucky mumbles at his hands.
"No, Buck, you don't." Becca unclips from her seat and slides across the bench seat. "Listen to me James." Bucky looks up from his hands and stares at her with wide eyes. She only calls him James when it's serious. "What Mom had is called postpartum depression. I've done some research on it, and it affects a lot of women after childbirth. It is not your fault. I hate to say this, because even though she's dead she's still our mom, but she took herself out of our life, so it is her fault." Becca holds his face in her hands. "Do you understand me?"
"Y-yeah, Becca. I understand." Bucky hates to admit it, but his voice cracked on the last word. He leans into her touch and lets his tears spill freely from his eyes.
Becca pulls him a tight hug and lets him cry against her shoulder for a few moments.
"Alright pipsqueak, it's time to wipe off your eyes and head to school." Becca says as she pulls away. Bucky sniffles and opens the glove compartment to retrieve a napkin to wipe at his eyes. Becca slides back across the seat and buckles herself back in before smoothly merging back into traffic.
Bucky watches as his old elementary school passes him by and smiles, thinking back to the time he first met his best friend. Steve's just as tiny as he was back then, but his voice is starting to get deeper and he's learned how to choose his battles. Sorta.
At least he ain't gettin' beat up by random bullies no more. Bucky thinks to himself. Ever since that first day all the kids who thought it'd be cool to pick on the tiny orphan got a swift kick in the butt from Bucky and the glare of a lifetime from Thor, at least until he left for middle school. 'Course, Bucky couldn't be there all the time. A side-effect of being friends with Steve is that you eventually pick up something from him. So when that happened one of the Howling Commandos, usually Peggy since her mom worked at the school, would stick with him until he left for the orphanage or was picked up by a foster parent. Not that there were a lot of those. For some reason no one wanted to adopt an asthmatic, color-blind, slightly deaf kid that was constantly getting into fights and ending up in the hospital due to either illness or injury.
Becca pulls up in front of the middle school and sighs.
"Can you at least try no to get in a fight on the first day?" Becca asks hopefully.
"Y'know I can't make promises like that. But I'll try ta make sure Steve stays outta trouble." Bucky responds with a smile unclipping from the seat and stepping out of the car.
"Have a good day. Dad's gonna be late again tonight working on the carny case, so I'll pick ya up once I get outta school." Becca holds out her fist and Bucky fist bumps her. "See ya."
"See ya." Becca drives off and Bucky turns to his new school. Much like with the last time he walked into a new school there were kids milling about on the lawn in front of the school, though there were a lot less superhero backpacks. Bucky scans the crowd of kids and sees a fairly large group of them standing to the side of the building.
"Not again." He groans, rolling his eyes and sighing. While he strides toward the flock of students he catches Peggy's eye, who was standing near the front steps with the rest of the Commandos. They gained a few members since first grade, and now they had not only included him, Steve, Jim, Dum Dum and Peggy, they also had James 'Monty' Falsworth, Gabe Jones, and Jaques Dernier who moved to Brooklyn from France with his ma in fourth grade. He jerks his head and she nods, tapping Dum Dum on the shoulder and making a circular motion with her index finger. The group of friends quickly find themselves shoving through the throng of middle schoolers.
"I could do this all day." Steve pants, wiping his face with his sleeve. He holds his fists up like Bucky taught him, but he's already close to collapsing.
"Hey, numb nut, why don't'cha pick on someone your own size?" Bucky says as he steps between the bully and Steve. The Howling Commandos line up behind Steve and Bucky, looking as menacing as a bunch of sixth graders could.
"Little brat deserved it!" The bully growls, glaring at Steve. Bucky sighs and holds up a hand.
"Look, we don't want no trouble. Why don't'cha just walk away now an' we forget this happened, yeah?" Bucky suggests, hoping against hope that this time they can just walk away without harming anyone.
Of course, that doesn't happen, but then again, it never does.
The bully signals to his friends and three large eighth graders step forward. Bucky questions just how long they've been in eighth grade considering one of them has a beard.
"Peggy, get Steve outta here and make sure he's patched up." Bucky calls as the other Howlies step forward to stand beside him.
"I ain't gonna just let you fight for me Buck!" Steve cries out as Peggy gets a hand around his arm.
"An' I ain't gonna let you end up in the hospital again Stevie." Bucky answers.
"What're you doin' jus' standin' there? Why don't one'ya get a teacher 'er somethin'?" Dum Dum asks the kids still watching them.
"Hey, you, pigtails!" Jim points to a girl standing in the circle. "Get the Principal or a teacher or someone!" The girl looks at him with wide eyes before pushing through the crowd and running off. "Hope she went to get someone." He mutters just loud enough for Bucky to hear him.
The first bully throws a punch and Bucky dodges. Then his friends start in on the Commandos and Bucky looses himself in the, unfortunately, familiar motions of fighting someone without actually fighting them. Bully Number One gets a hold of his shirt and Bucky gets a fist in the eye before he can break free of the hold. The crowd around them starts cheering and yelling out to them, but Bucky can't understand what they're saying. Bucky and the Commandos keep dodging and blocking the bullies' hits, though the giant eighth graders end up giving Monty a black eye and Gabe and Dernier both get hit in the ribs before an adult reaches them.
"What is going on here?" A large man with half-glasses yells once he pushes through the blockade of middle schoolers. The bullies immediately step back and Bucky searches for Steve. The tiny blonde pushes past the large guy and goes straight to Bucky.
"It wasn't their fault, sir!" Steve insists, standing in front of Bucky. Glasses guy raises an eyebrow at him and looks at the battered group of sixth graders.
"And whose fault was it exactly?" He asks them. As a unit they all point the the first bully and his cronies.
"Theirs." They say at once. Glasses looks over at the bullies, who only appear to a have a few smudges of dirt and a couple split knuckles between them.
"Uh huh." He scans the crowd of students. "And is that true?" Most of the kids nod, having seen the bullies start the fight. "Right. Well, looks like you're going to be spending your first few weeks in detention boys." He says to the bullies.
"No way! The blonde started it!" Bully One says, glaring at Steve. Glasses takes one look at Steve and raises an eyebrow.
"Of course, Brock. You can tell that to Coach Schmidt when you explain why you can't make it to your first practice." Glasses says, rubbing his nose. Two more teachers step through the crowd and herd the bullies away. Sensing the excitement was over the crowd disperses, leaving only the Commandos and Glasses, who turns to them and smiles.
"Which one of you would like to explain how none of them seemed to have a scratch on them, except for the ones they inflicted upon themselves?"
Bucky glances at the rest of the group and they all shrug.
"Nous ne faisions que nous défendre, monsieur. Nous ne frappons pas les autres, contrairement à ces tyrans." Dernier answered. The teacher frowns and glances around at them.
"What did he say?" He asks them.
"We don't know, sir. We don't speak French." Gabe answers, even though they all learned French when they became friend with Dernier and are now fluent. "Though I think he was trying to say that we were just trying not to get hit, and we don't like to hit others if we don't have to."
"Well, the next time you might want to get in a few good hits, you might not end up with so many bruises." He replies. "I'm Hank by the way. Hank McCoy."
"You're the science teacher. Thor's friend Jane told us about you." Steve says. Hank smiles down at him and nods.
"I certainly am. And you must be the famous Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos. Both Thor and Jane speak very highly of you, all of you." He nods to the rest of the group.
"It's been nice meeting you, Mr McCoy, but I feel we should get to our classes before we're late." Peggy jumps in, smiling.
"Hm? Oh, yes. Be careful, and try not to get into too many fights, it's only your first day after all." He winks at them and they smile, running off into the school.
They were sorted into homeroom by last name, which meant Steve would be without any of the Commandos to keep him out of trouble. Bucky hopes Stark will at least keep him company, though he and Steve don't always get along all that well. At least he's never tried to beat him up, which Bucky counts as a plus.
Bucky, Peggy, Dum Dum, and Dernier part from the rest of the group and head to their shared homeroom, while Monty, Jim, and Gabe go off to theirs, leaving Steve to walk to his own homeroom alone. Bucky glances back at him a few times, watching him disappear in the crowd, until Peggy punches his arm and tells him to stop pining.
"I ain't pinin'. 'm just worried is all. The punk ain't got a shred of self preservation in 'im, he'd probably pick a fight with a pro wrestler if he saw one pickin' on the little guy." Bucky mutters. His friends exchang Looks with each other and Dum Dum and Dernier both put an arm around his shoulders.
"L'idiot ne réalise pas comment il se sent, le pauvre garçon." Dernier says to Dum Dum.
"Y'know I speak French, Dernier. An' I ain't an idiot." Bucky growls.
"Keep tellin' yourself that, Buck." Dum Dum says, patting him on the shoulder. "One day it might be true."
Bucky laughs and shoves him. "Shut up, Dum Dum."
/⋆\\
Bucky and Steve don't share any classes until after lunch, so he spends the first two and a half hours of school perpetually worried. When Steve meets up with him at lunch he has three new friends trailing behind him, Sam Sawyer, Junior Juniper, and Pinky Pinkerton. The three are quickly accepted into the fold of the Commandos, especially after they tell them how they ended up friends with Steve in the first place, which consists of varying instances of keeping the little shit outta trouble.
"Steve, buddy, you gotta stop startin' shit you can't finish." Bucky tells him after school the next day as he cleans up Steve's newest set of bruises and scrapes.
"It ain't right how those guys treat people." Steve mutters. Bucky tuts and continues cleaning out a cut on his cheek.
"I know it ain't right, punk. I jus' don't like havin' ta look at ya beat up all the time. If ya really can't just sit around an' watch, then tell a teacher or call one'a the Commandos. Y'know that's what we're here for."
"You don't get it, Buck." Steve says, shaking his head. Bucky frowns and tries to hold him still, but Steve just brushes his hand away and stands. "You don't get it! I know I ain't as strong as you, an' I know 'm always sick, but I gotta do this! I can't just back down, or go runnin', 'cause as soon as I start, I won't stop!" Steve starts crying softly, but his face remains hard and he doesn't acknowledge the tears streaming down his face. "I know I won't live too long, one day I'm gonna die, an' it'll probably be sooner rather than later. So I gotta make my mark in this world while I can, otherwise I just wasted the life my ma gave me waitin' for death. I can't do that Buck, I gotta make it worth somethin'!"
Bucky feels his own tears run down his cheeks and he steps forward to hug Steve, wrapping him up tight in his arms. Steve's own arms hold onto his back and his face presses against Bucky's shoulder.
"Don't you say that, don't you dare say that, an' don't you dare believe it. You could do nothin', an' you still wouldn't be worthless Stevie. Not to me, an' not to anyone that knows ya. You got one'a the biggest hearts I know, an' even though it don't beat the same way other's do, it's still the best one out there, 'cause it's yours." Bucky's voice cracks from the lump in his throat and he chokes out a sob. "I don't ever want you talkin' 'bout you dyin' on me, y'hear? You're gonna be fine, an' you're gonna outlive all'a us, 'cause otherwise once we get up there we're never gonna let ya hear the end of it, 'kay?"
"'kay Buck." Steve mumbles into his shirt.
"Now you gotta promise to stop tryin' ta take one people bigger'n you." Bucky pulls back a little, but keeps close to Steve. "Thor said Loki found ya standin' between two'a those Jotun brothers an' some seventh grader. Y'know how big those lugs are, they could'a-" Bucky chokes and closes his eyes, "they could'a killed ya, Stevie. If Loki hadn't seen ya and stepped in, they could'a beaten you real bad, an' you might not'a made it this time." Bucky flashes back to the last time Steve was in the hospital, hooked up on machines and barely alive. It was the first time he heard Steve's heart murmur. "I don't want ta see ya like that again, y'hear? I don't- I couldn't take it."
Steve's hands clench in Bucky's shirt and he nods.
"I- I'll try Buck. Sometimes, sometimes I ain't gotta choice though. But I'll try."
/⋆\\
Bucky's smiling as he slides into Becca's car. The project Steve and him made won the science fair, even with Tony and Bruce competing against them. 'Course that might'a been because Tony and Bruce's experiment caught another kid's project on fire, but what were they expecting, aiming the repulser at Fitzsimmons' drones. But then, he and Steve worked really hard on their shield project. Bucky designed a shield that, when thrown the right way, would come back to the thrower kinda like a mix between a boomerang and a frisbee. Steve painted it and showed the judges (Dr McCoy, Dr Selvig and Dr Richards the three science teachers) how it worked. Apparently they were so impressed, not only but the design, but also by the ingenuity, that they all voted it as the winner.
"Hey Becca, you'll never guess what… happened… today…" Bucky starts to trail off as he sees Becca's strained smile. "What happened?"
"It's… nothing." Becca shakes her head.
"It ain't nothin' Becca. What happened?" Bucky asks again. Becca frowns and adjusts her grip on the steering wheel. "What did Dad do this time?"
Becca takes a deep breath before answering. "Y'know how he's been working on the carny case?" Bucky nods, "Well, there's been two more murders. A- A husband wife team. Oh God, Buck," she turns to him with tears in her eyes, "it was Clint's mom and dad. They- they're dead."
Bucky stared at his sister in shock. He felt sick. He didn't- he felt- he was gonna-
Bucky opens his door just in time to throw up on the sidewalk.
Clint wasn't his closest friend, that was Steve, and he wasn't a Commando, but he was still one of Bucky's closest friends. He was the only other kid Bucky knew that lived with Steve in the orphanage, even though he still had- still had-
Becca's hand rests on Bucky's back as he continues to heave.
Clint was cool. He taught him and Steve how to do sign language so they could talk to him when he took out his hearing aids. Sometimes he turned them up really high, and if everyone was real quiet he'd be able to hear what the Sister's were talking about downstairs. When his- when his- when the carnival came to town Clint would get them in for free and they could hang out backstage with all the clowns and jugglers and animals and stuff. And Clint could shoot a bow and arrow, which was really cool, and he said he's teach Bucky how to do it if he wanted. And- And- He had a brother named Barney who was in another carnival like his- like his- his- his-
Bucky steps out of his sister's car, careful to step around the pile of sick that was once in his stomach, but now colored the sidewalk. He runs back to the school and scans all over, but he doesn't see Clint. He doesn't remember seeing him in any of the classes they share either.
"Bucky? What- I thought Becca already picked you up?" Steve asks, walking over to him.
"Where's Clint? Is he- Have ya seen 'im?" Bucky asks him frantically. Steve frowns and shakes his head.
"He didn't come to school today. The Sister's kept him at the orphanage. Why? Buck-"
"I'll explain later, okay? I jus'- I gotta find him, 'kay?" Bucky yells back, already sprinting down the street towards the orphanage.
Becca's car pulls up next to him once he gets halfway to the elementary school. She rolls down her window and slows down to match his pace.
"Hey Forrest Gump, it'll be faster if you let me drive you!" She calls out to him. Bucky stops running and walks around to the passenger side to get in.
"He's at the orphanage still." Bucky tells her. Those are the only words he utter the entire ten minute trip.
As soon as his sister's Impala slows down enough Bucky launches himself out of the car and bounds into the orphanage, not even bothering to sign in as a visitor. He climbs the stairs quickly and bursts into Clint and Steve's shared bedroom out of breath.
Clint in laying curled up on the top bunk of his and Steve's bed. He lifts his head slightly at Bucky's entry, but once he see's who it is he goes back to laying on his side. Bucky climbs up the ladder after toeing off his shoes and sits criss-crossed next to Clint. Clint's ears are empty of his aids, so Bucky taps him softly on the shoulder, but Clint refuses to look at him. Bucky sighs in frustration.
.. .-. - / ... - .-. .-. -.- / .- -... - ..- - / -.- - ..- .-. / - - - / .- -. -.. / -.. .- -.. .-.-.-
Bucky taps out his morse code message on Clint's arm. He waits patiently, then Clint's hand rises up and rests on Bucky's.
- ... .- -. -.- ... .-.-.- / -. - - / -.- - ..- .-. / ..-. .- ..- .-.. - .-.-.-
Bucky smiles at the reply, glad his friend's talking.
.- .- -. -. .- / -.. - / - ... .. ... / ..-. .- -.-. . / - - / ..-. .- -.-. . ..-..
Clint nods and turns over. Bucky smiles softly and waves hello. Clint doesn't smile, but now Bucky can see his eyes are red from tears.
Bucky raises his eyebrows, points at Clint, then makes an 'o' and a 'k' with his left hand. Clint shakes his head. Bucky raises his eyebrows and points again, then spreads both hands flat, with his palms up, and pulls them toward himself, curling his fingers into claws as he does, then points one index finger at Clint and the other at himself before switching their positions twice. Clint nods and reaches over to the shelf Bucky and Steve helped install for his hearing aids. Once he has them in and adjusted correctly he sits up and brings his knees to his chest.
"Becca told me what happened when she picked me up. We drove straight over here." Bucky tells him. "I'm real sorry."
"Yeah, everybody's real sorry. But none of them'll tell me what happened. I don't even know if they told Barney, 'cause he's in Iowa 'til next week, and I don't know if he's changed his number or anything. What if he comes back and- and he doesn't-" Clint's eyes well up with tears and Bucky pulls him into his arms before they have a chance to fall.
"I know Clint, I know." Bucky murmurs, rubbing his hand down his friend's back while he sobs into his shoulder. Bucky hears something by the door and looks over. Steve's standing in the doorway, a sad tilt to his mouth. The small blond quietly climbs up the ladder to Clint's bed and wraps his arms around Clint's other side.
They spend the rest of the day there, just holding onto Clint and giving him as much comfort as they can. Becca comes up with dinner after a few hours and finds them all sleeping, the two best friends cocooned around the newly orphaned boy.
/⋆\\
"James!" George Barnes' voice thunders through their house. Bucky cringes and quickly sends a text off to Steve telling him he'll talk later. He scrambles out of bed right as George opens his door.
The tall brunet has a smile on his face, which makes Bucky even more nervous than if he came in scowling. At least scowling was normal.
"James, we caught the man responsible for the Carnival murders!" George Barnes announces proudly. Bucky's eyes go wide.
"What? That's- who was it?" Bucky asks, excited. It's been a month, and even though there haven't been any more murders, there also hasn't been much in the way of news on the case.
"A fellow carnival worker, went by Swordsman, real name Jacques Duquesne. He was smuggling money from the carnival to fund his gambling problem, the Barton's found out and threatened to tell the cops. And you know what happened next." George frowns and shakes his head. "Jacques' show partner, a man who goes by Trickshot, turned him in. Said he would have done it sooner, but he needed more evidence."
"That's great G- Dad! I can't wait to tell Clint!" Bucky says, reaching for his phone.
"Hold on, son. There's more." George says, stilling Bucky's hand. "We were able to tell Barney what happened, but he's not able to get custody of Clint, seeing as how he doesn't have a permanent residence. He could stay in the orphanage like he has been, go through the foster system, but chances are he's never going to get adopted, not with the coverage this has been getting. No one's going to want to adopt the orphaned deaf kid of two murdered carnies." Bucky frowns at George, not knowing where this is going. "I know he's your friend, and Becca says he's a good kid, doesn't get into fights unlike Rogers." Bucky's frown deepens and he curls his hands into fists at the slight to his best friend. "Me and the boys at the force were talking, and I was thinking about adopting him."
Bucky's face goes slack in shock.
"You're gonna adopt Clint?" Bucky asks, still not believing it.
"A couple of guys were thinking of doing it, but none of them live in this school district. We figured he should be kept in the same school, keep him with his friends." George nods to Bucky.
"That's great Dad!" Bucky grins and surges forward to hug his father, heedless of his father's hatred of him. George freezes for a few seconds before carefully wrapping his arms around his son.
Bucky smiles as his father's hands rest on his back, reveling in the feeling of his father's love.
George pats him on the back once before pushing him away again.
"He'll be sharing your room, so you'll need to clear out some space for him. Tomorrow we'll take some time to look for a bed for him and pick up another dresser." George tells his son.
"He likes being up high, he might like a bunk bed better'n a normal one." Bucky tells his dad. George nods, considering this.
"Then we'll have to move out your bed and get a bunk bed in here." George says. "Now get to work on cleaning up this mess. I don't pay for this house for you to mess it up with your junk."
With that the Barnes patriarch leaves his son's room, slamming the door shut. Bucky pays his leave no mind, already diving for his phone to text his friend.
To: Hawkeye
Hey Clint, I got good news!
From: Hawkeye
wats up buck
To: Hawkeye
Dad caught the guy. Swordsman. Trickshot turned him in.
But that's not all
My dad's gonna adopt you! We're gonna be brothers!
From: Hawkeye
holy shit! trickshot taught me to shoot!
HOLY SHIT! WERE GONNA BE BROS?!
To: Hawkeye
We're gonna share a room and dad's gonna get a bunk bed so you can be up high, and it's gonna be great!
I'm gonna tell Steve!
To: Stevie
Hey Steve, guess what?
From: Stevie
What Buck?
To: Stevie
Dad's gonna adopt Clint!
From: Stevie
That's great Buck. I'm glad for Clint.
To: Stevie
Hey, how come you ain't together?
From: Stevie
I got a doctor's appointment. Ain't sick or nothing, just a check-up, so don't go worrying.
To: Stevie
Who, me? I never worry bout you. Why would I? Not like you get into fights every day or go to the hospital so often you're friends with all the nurses and most of the docs know you by name.
From: Stevie
Shut up
Bucky laughs and collapses back on his bed, smiling at the ceiling. He lays there for a few moments before getting up and cleaning his room, getting ready for his friend moving in. Getting ready for his brother.
Translations (in order) are as follows:
-We were just defending ourselves, sir. We do not hit others, unlike those bullies. (French)
-The idiot does not realize how he feels, the poor boy. (French)
-I'm sorry about your mom and dad. (Morse code)
-Thanks. Not your fault. (Morse code)
-Wanna do this face to face? (Morse code)
-Are you okay? (American Sign Language)
-Do you want to talk? (American Sign Language)