!TRIGGER WARNING!
Mr Barnes is abusive towards Bucky and says some pretty homophobic things. If you get triggered by child abuse, homophobia, or anything else like that, please skip from the first break to the second break. I'll put a summary at the end of the chapter.
"Clint... Get up." Bucky mumbles, only just now wiping the sleep from his own eyes. The huddle of blankets on the bunk above him doesn't stir, so Bucky just shakes the entire bedframe.
"Wha-?" Clint flails about and blinks, reaching over to put in his hearing aids. "What the hell Buck?" He grouses, glaring at his adopted brother.
"Time for school, numb nut." Bucky replies, shuffling over to his dresser. Clint groans again, but dutifully climbs out of bed, muttering curses the entire time. "Get dressed, then you can get coffee."
Clint perks up at that and pulls out a purple t-shirt from a pile of similar purple t-shirts and slides on the discarded jeans he wore yesterday. Bucky pulls a face at him, but after nearly three years of living with him, he's used to Clint's habits. Clint's gone through at least two cups of coffee by the time Bucky emerges, dressed all in black, his blue wool coat clutched in his hand.
"Mornin' Becca." He greets his sister, going over to the counter next to her and pouring himself a bowl of cereal.
"Mornin' Buck." Becca replies, giving him a one-armed hug. "We're picking up Steve today, the Rogers were called in to the hospital this morning." Becca tells them, sipping from her own mug of coffee.
The Drs Sarah and Christine Rogers were the latest of Steve's foster parents, and so far have shown the most promise. As two doctors they were able to pay for all of Steve's medical bills, and Steve has flourished under their care. Bucky can't help but hope that they'll adopt him, especially since they share a last name and Sarah reminds Steve of his own mother. The fact that they live close to Bucky is just an added bonus.
They finish their breakfast quickly and Becca herds them into her car, Bucky sitting next to her and Clint sitting in the back. Bucky looks out the window and frowns at the unfamiliar skyline. More than a year after the towers fell, and he's still not used to the hole left in the city. Everyone on the news says it was terrorists, but Steve says there's no way the towers should have just collapsed like that. Bucky's not sure he believes either of them, but he feels sick every time he sees the hole in his skyline and remembers all the lives that died and all the families still grieving.
"Alright Buck, go up and ring the bell." Becca says as she pulls up in front of Steve's house. Bucky gets out of the car and runs up to Steve's door, knocking loudly and ringing the bell. He waits impatiently for Steve to open the door and is about to ring the bell again when the door opens and Steve steps out, hair a mess and bag haphazardly hanging off his shoulder.
"I can hear ya, I ain't Clint." Steve says jokingly and he closes and locks the door behind him.
"Yeah, but your hearing is pretty awful." Bucky replies. "You sure you got everythin'?"
"I got it Buck." Steve rolls his eyes and walks towards Becca's car.
"Hey Steve!" Clint greets his friend as he climbs in beside him. Bucky gets back in the car and Becca pulls away, heading toward the high school.
"Hey Clint. Mornin' Becca!" Steve greets them happily.
"Mornin' Steve. How've you been? Bucky told me you were out for a couple days last week." Becca asks, glancing at him in the rearview. Bucky watches Steve blush and duck his head in the side mirror.
"I'm okay. It was just a little cold, but you know how Sarah and Christie get when I'm sick." Steve shrugs. "Honestly I was fine after that first day, but they wanted to make sure I wouldn't get anything else while my immune system was compromised."
"Can you blame 'em?" Bucky asks, turning to look at his best friend. "Last time you went to school with a cold you came home with the flu!"
"I was fine, Buck!" Steve frowns at him and crosses his arms.
"Or what about that time you got pneumonia 'cause you insisted on going to school even though you were already pretty sick?" Bucky asks, ignoring Steve's protest. "Or when you got chicken pox? Or all the times you've been laid up in bed with a fever, 'cause some other kid came to school with a virus?"
"That last time wasn't even my fault!" Steve protests. "I'm fine, I don't need you to mother hen me all the time!" Steve glares at Bucky, who turns around and seethes out the front window.
No one talks for the rest of the short drive, though Bucky thinks Clint might have turned off his hearing aids, even though he knows he's not supposed to do that when they're driving. Or ever really. When Becca pulls in front of their school, Clint is the first one out of the car, leaving Steve, Bucky, and Becca alone in the car. Becca turns to them and levels them with the Look, the one that says she's about to have a Serious Talk with them.
"Hold up you two, I want to talk to you for a minute." She tells them before either of them can make a move to get out of the car.
Bucky sighs and turns to look at her.
"I don't know what's up with you two, but every time you've been in the same space for long enough, you've had an argument." Bucky looks away for a second, then looks back at her. "And while I'm sure the things you're arguing about are valid issues, they're not what's really wrong. I don't care what the big issue is, but you need to work it out before it drives you apart." Becca fixes them both with hard eyes, leavign no room for them to argue with her. "You need to talk, and soon, but for now get outta my car and go learn something." Steve gets out of the car, but Bucky lingers for a moment.
"You should be going to school for psych, not joinin' the army." Bucky mumbles, leaning over to hug her. Becca wraps her arms around him tightly and squeezes him once before letting him go.
"I'm gonna miss our car talks while I'm over there, but just 'cause I ain't here to kick your ass, doesn't mean you should start doin' stupid ass shit. 'Cause I will find out, and I will come back to put you right. Now get to class, you're gonna be late." Becca smiles and Bucky gets out of the car. He starts to walk away when he hears Becca call his name. He looks back to see her leaning across the seat and holding out her hand.
"Can't forget the good luck fist bumb, now can we?" She says with a wink. Bucky smiles and pumps his fist with hers.
"See you after school, Becca."
/⋆\\
Bucky and Steve are sitting on Bucky's bed in tense silence as they both try to do their homework. Clint is at his archery lessons, Becca left for training last week, and George Barnes is working late again, so it's just the two friends. Bucky keeps glancing over at his friend, wondering what's causing the uncomfortable silence. More tense minutes pass before Bucky hears Steve sigh and set down his book. Bucky looks up from his own work and frowns at Steve.
"Somethin' wrong, Steve?" Bucky asks him. Steve looks at his lap and bites at his lip.
"There's... I need to tell ya somethin', Buck." Steve looks up and his face hardens into a mask. Bucky's seen the mask many times, though only when Steve refuses to admit he's in pain, and never directed at Bucky.
"You know you can tell me anythin' Steve." Bucky replies, setting his book aside. Steve nods and looks away for a second.
"You gotta promise that this won't change anythin' between us, okay?" Steve asks, staring into Bucky's eyes. Bucky gulps and nods, fear bubbling up in his stomach. He can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with Steve. "Buck, I gotta hear you say it, please." Steve pleads, which does nothing to quell the fear taking over Bucky.
"I promise." Bucky says, scooting nearer to his friend, ready to hug him if he needs to. Steve doesn't look like he's about to cry, but that just means that tears are imminent.
Steve takes a deep breath before saying anything.
"I think, or, I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. I mean, I really like girls, but I also really like guys, so I asked Sarah and Christie about it, and then I looked some stuff up online, and I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. Though, I might be pansexual? I'm not totally sure what the difference is right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm bi." Steve explains hastily. Bucky blinks at him then starts laughing. Steve frowns at him and crosses his arms. "I don't get what's so funny, Buck."
"I'm- I'm sorry Stevie, I just- oh man, with the way you were talkin' I thought you were dyin' or somethin'." Bucky laughs again and shakes his head. "Shit, as long as we're talkin' like civilized people, I figure I should tell ya somethin' too." Bucky breathes deep and looks Steve in the eye. "I'm gay. Figured you knew, but if you were stessin' this much about comin' out to me, I guess not."
Bucky shrugs and Steve hits him on the arm.
"'Course I didn't know, jerk!" Steve says, hitting him again.
"Ow, punk!" Bucky says, laughing and rubbing at his arm. He picks up the pillow he'd been using to prop himself up and hits Steve with it, who squeals and grabs his own pillow. They dissolve into fits of giggles as they hit each other with their pillows. Steve throws his away and tackles Bucky, who yelps as they fall onto the floor, wrestling playfully. Steve jabs his long fingers into Bucky's sides, causing him to squeal.
"No... fair! Punk! You're not, ah, even ticklish!" Bucky laughs out, trying to defend himself as they roll across the floor, Steve unrelenting in his attack. Bucky finally hooks one leg around the small teen and flips over so he's straddling him, pining Steve's hands to the floor by his head. "Yield!" Bucky demands.
"Never!" Steve responds, somehow managing to shift his weight around to flip them over again, so he straddles Bucky's waist, Bucky's hands grasped in his.
They stay like that, panting, Steve staring down at Bucky, and Bucky staring up at Steve, for an unknown amount of time. Bucky gets lost in Steve's eyes, the feel of him pining him down and straddling his waist. Maybe it's his imagination, but it looks like Steve is looking at his lips, leaning down. Bucky's eyes start to close and he slowly begins to lean up.
"James!" His father's voice startles him and both he and Steve look over to his door, which they realize they forgot to close, and find George Barnes standing there, face red in anger.
Bucky pushes Steve off of him and stands in front of him, blocking him from his father's rage.
"D-Dad, I, we, I didn't hear you come in." Bucky stumbles over his words, eyes wide as he stares at his dad. George Barnes steps into his room and towers over Bucky, even though he's only a few inches shorter than the older man.
"What the fuck were you two doing?" George demands. Bucky gulps and opens his mouth to answer, but George cuts him off. "I told you I don't like Rogers being in my house! He's a bad influence on you, always has been, though I suppose a wife-killer like you doesn't need a no-good orphan like him to drag you down." George yells into his son's face, and Bucky can smell the alcohol on his breath.
"We weren't doing anything, Dad. We were just wrestling, I promise!" Bucky tells him. George backhands him and Bucky stumbles to the right, falling onto his floor.
"Did I ask you to speak, boy?!" George yells. Steve jumps in between them, a fierce look on his face.
"Mr Barnes, I assure you nothing happened between me and your son." Steve tells him. Bucky looks on with wide eyes as his father turns his glare to Steve.
"Did I ask you, fag?" George hisses. Bucky scrambles up before Steve can do something stupid and grabs his arm.
"Steve! Just-" Bucky glances at his dad, "just get your things and go home, okay? We'll finish the project later." Steve turns to him and Bucky pleads with him with his eyes. "Just, go home, please?" He whispers brokenly. Steve stares at him for a few seconds, that fierce glint in his eyes before it crumbles into understanding and he nods, going over to quickly pack his bag.
Steve hitches his bag over his shoulder and moves to stand in front of George Barnes.
"Since you don't want me in your house anyways, I'd like to leave. So I can stop tainting your son with my gayness." Steve says, glaring at the eldest Barnes. George steps out of the way, careful not to touch Steve. Bucky watches with a sad expression as Steve turns around and gives him a long Look, then turns around and leaves Bucky alone with his father.
George Barnes turns to his son and storms over to him, grabbing him by his shirt.
"I told you not to bring Rogers over here! And what do I find when I come home? You and Rogers, on the floor looking like a couple'a fags!" George roars, shaking Bucky like a rag doll.
"We were working on a project!" Bucky insists. George shoves him away, causing Bucky to hit his head on the bunk bed's frame.
"Did I fucking ask you, fag?" George demands. Bucky shakes his head and winces at the pain from where he hit his head.
George grabs him again and drags him out of his room, down the hallway, then down the stairs to his office. Bucky shakes with the knowledge of what's about to come. George throws Bucky against his desk, knocking the air out of him and making Bucky lean across the desk, gasping for breath. Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself.
Bucky winces at the sound of his father sliding his belt out of his pants and grips the edge of the desk as tightly as he can.
Crack!
Bucky chokes on a scream as the first lick of the leather belt.
Crack!
Tears build up in Bucky's eyes, and he bites his lip to keep back his screams.
Crack!
Bucky bites down on his lip hard enough to draw blood.
Crack!
Bucky grips the desk tighter.
Crack!
"Get up." George demands. Bucky slowly releases the edge of the desk, fingers stiff from his white-knuckled grip.
"I said get up!" George yells, yanking Bucky up from the back of his shirt. Bucky lets out a strangled cry at the sudden movement, the pain from his backside flaring up. George pulls him back and shoves him against his wall. Bucky slides down the wall and lets his tears fall from his eyes. George looms over him and glares down.
"Your mother would be disgusted if she knew the child she gave her life to bring into this world was a fucking faggot!" George said, spitting on his child. "Get outta my sight, and hope I don't ever see that Rogers kid here again, because if I do he'll be getting the same treatment." George kicks his son once in the stomach before turning and leaving the room.
Bucky picks himself up leaves the room, shakily climbing the stairs. He climbs into his bed and lays down, curled away from the door.
He stays like that, silently crying, for hours. Clint comes home after the first half hour and greets Bucky cheerfully. When Bucky doesn't respond he assumes he went to sleep and he carefully leaves the room. Bucky stays where he is, not sleeping, well after Clint has retired to his own part of the bunk.
/⋆\\
Bucky slumps down in his seat and groans. His day has steadily gotten worse, starting with him sleeping through his alarm and causing both him and Clint to miss their bus, and forcing them to run to school with Clint glaring at him the entire time. They were late to their first class, of course, but what made it worse was that their first block was gym, and Coach Strucker already hated Bucky for getting his star athletes in trouble for picking on Steve so many times. So he got detention that afternoon. Then it turns out a big project was due in Science, which he, of course, forgot at home, so now Steve's mad at him for bringing down his grade. And now he's got history, where he sits next to Tony Fucking Stark, who has been trying to get Steve to say yes to a date with him for a few weeks now.
"What crawled up your butt?" Tony asks him. Bucky groans even more and puts his head in his hands. He does not want to deal with Stark right now.
"It's nothing Tony." Bucky answers him from where his head's buried in his hands.
"Well excuse me for not wanting to deal with your shitty mood all class." Tony replies sarcastically. "You and Steve have another fight or something? More trouble in paradise? 'Cause I wouldn't mind taking him off your hands for you. Maybe you could put in a good word. Or, I guess that wouldn't work if you're fighting. Are you fighting? 'Cause I could use this to my advantage if you are, I can totally be the consoling friend."
Bucky looks up and growls at him.
"Shut the fuck up, Stark, before I make you shut up." He snarls, giving Tony what Clint call his 'murder eyes'. Tony gulps and holds up his hands in surrender.
"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" Their teacher, Mr Howlett, asks them.
"No sir." Bucky answers quickly.
"Then kindly pay attention to the class, rather than Stark." Mr Howlett says before turning back to the board. Bucky turns to glare at Tony, but finds the other kid looking straight ahead. Bucky follows his example and loses himself in the monotony of class.
"Barnes, Stark, stick back would'ya?" Mr Howlett asks as the rest of the class files out into the hallway. Bucky sighs and turns around, heading toward his desk. "What was that this morning? And tell me the truth this time."
"It was no-"
"If you tell me it was nothing, Barnes, I'll give you detention, on top of what Strucker gave you this morning." Mr Howlett threatens. Bucky groans and sighs.
"If I may, Logan?" Tony interjects, getting Mr Howlett's attention. "It wasn't Barnes' fault, much as I'd like it to be. I saw he was in a bad mood, and I antagonized him despite that. I take full responsibility for his disruption." Bucky gapes at Tony and Mr Howlett scrutinizes him. He considers for a moment before shrugging.
"Whatever, just get to your next class." Mr Howlett waves them off with a pass for each of them and Bucky practically flees the classroom. His next class is with Steve, and he'd like to explain why he forgot their project.
"What, no thanks?" Tony asks as he walks beside him.
"Get outta my face Tony, before I break yours." Bucky growls at him.
"Eh, you're not gonna break my face. Steve likes me, and you don't fight Steve's friends." Tony shrugs, turning to walk backwards so he can look at Bucky. "'Sides, how can I kiss him if I've got a broken face?" Bucky stops walking and curls his hands into his fists.
"Look, Tony, I don't have time for your games, so just get outta my face and let me get to my next class in peace." Bucky tells him, mentally counting to ten.
"Maybe, I have to go this way too. Not everything's about you, Buckster. Besides, I wanna ask you about Steve. Do you think he's more of a flowers and chocolate man, or would he prefer a less subtle approach?"
Bucky doesn't think, he just punches Tony in the face, unaware that a teacher just rounded the corner and saw them in the hallway.
"Barnes!" The teacher, who Bucky doesn't remember ever seeing before, yells, walking over to them. He kneels down next to Stark, who's splayed out on the floor and clutching his nose.
"I think it's broken!" Tony wails, sounding that specific kind of nasal that only comes from a broken nose.
"Barnes, you're coming with me!" The teacher tells him, helping Tony up. "We're taking him to the nurse's, then you and I are going to the guidance counselor's."
Bucky walks silently beside them as the teacher walks Tony down to the nurse's office, Tony moaning about his broken nose the entire time. It's already swelling and his eyes are going black closest to the bridge. The teacher, who is still unknown to Bucky, grabs Bucky by the arm after they leave Tony in the hands of the nurse and frogmarches him to the guidance offices.
"Mr Barnes." Karen Page, the counselor's student helper greets him as he enters their offices.
"Hey Karen." Bucky replies with a wave. They've become sort-of friends since the start of the school year, when Bucky and Steve were deposited in the guidance counselor's care after they came to the defense of Matt Murdock, one of her best friends. Every so often Karen and Foggy, the other student helper and Matt's other best friend, get them out of trouble for defending kids from bullies.
"What happen? You stop a fight again?" Karen asks with a soft smile. Bucky cringes and shakes his head.
"Not exactly..."
"Mr Barnes started one, actually." The unknown teacher answers. "Mr Stark is currently in the nurse's office with a broken nose, thanks to Mr Barnes' fist."
Karen's eyes go wide and her mouth falls open. "Oh. I'll, um, get Dr Strange." Karen says before disappearing into his office. The teacher walks Bucky over to the chairs opposite Karen's desk and sits him down.
"James Barnes." Dr Strange, known to Steve and Bucky as Stephen, greets him as he walks out of his office followed by Karen. "I hear you've been fighting. That doesn't seem like you, now does it?"
Bucky shrugs. "Well, it happened, and I did it, so it must be like me." He answers, getting up from his seat. Mystery teacher latches onto his arm and stops him from following Dr Strange into his office. Bucky tries to shake him off, but the teacher holds on tightly.
"Dr Strange, Mr Barnes assaulted another student and broke his nose. He should be suspended immediately." The teacher tells him. Stephen looks from the teacher to where he's gripping Bucky's arm, then back to the teacher.
"I'm sorry, but that is my decision to make. You do not know Mr Barnes like I do, and I will determine what, if any, action should be taken after I talk to him about what caused his outburst. Then, and only then, I will take my decision to the principal, who will determine Mr Barnes' punishment." Stephen turns to Bucky and gives him a slight smile. "Now, Bucky, if you wouldn't mind following me into my office."
Bucky shakes off the teacher's hand and follows Stephen into his, unfortunately, familiar office, closing the door behind them. Stephen settles into his chair and Bucky takes the one on the other side of the desk.
"Karen said you punched Stark in the face." Stephen says.
"Tony was being a dick." Bucky mutters, leaning back and folding his arms over his chest.
"I'm sure he was, but that doesn't give you an excuse to break his nose." Stephen answers, raising his eyebrows.
"I was having a crappy day, and Tony pissed me off. I snapped, and punched him. I feel bad about breaking his nose, though."
"Yes, I heard you came in late and Coach Strucker gave you detention. But there must be more to it than that, Bucky." Stephen presses. Bucky shrugs and looks away. "Maybe something to do with Steve?"
"Why does everyone think my life revolves around Steve?! Can't I just be having a crappy day, without Steve being the cause of it?!" Bucky yells, frowning. Stephen holds his hands up and leans back in his chair.
"Is that the problem, that you don't think people see you outside of Steve?" Stephen asks.
"No." Bucky answers, shaking his head. "The problem is that most of the time they're right. I've been friends with Steve for half my life, I care for the guy, and I know he cares for me too. I'm happy he's got more friends than just me an' the Commandoes now, and I'm fucking ecstatic that he hasn't been beaten up in over a month, not since he started hangin' out with Tony more. But we've been gettin' into more and more fights lately, and Becca told me to work it out with him before she started basic, but we haven't talked without yellin' since the beginnin' of the school year." Bucky shakes his head and frowns. "I've got no clue how to talk ta him anymore, but he's still my best friend, y'know? I don't even know if I'm still his best friend, but I don't know how to stop lo-" Bucky cuts himself off, not wanting to finish his thought. He knows where it was going, and he's not ready to share that information with anyone.
"You don't know how to stop doing what Bucky? We've talked about you needing to finish your thoughts." Stephen prompts. Bucky shakes his head.
"Sorry, doc, but I don't see how this has anythin' to do with me punchin' Tony in the face."
"Then tell me about that. What led you to strike another student?" Stephen asks, allowing Bucky to change the topic.
"I was havin' a pretty bad day. Got to school late, got detention, forgot me an' Steve's science project at home, which means Steve' mad at me, then I get to Mr Howlett's class and Tony starts talking to me 'bout how he's tryin' to ask Steve out. An' I don't mind, I know Steve like him and Stark ain't a bad guy, but that don't mean I want Stark tellin' me about how he's gonna try an' get him to say yes. So I tell 'im to shut up, then after the class Mr Howlett holds up back to talk about it, an' Tony takes the blame, which he should, 'cause it was his fault. So we're heading to our next classes, and Tony's bein' his usual self, so I tell 'im to stop it, but he keeps going, talkin' 'bout how he's gonna get Stevie flowers an' chocolate an' shit, an' how he's gonna kiss 'im an' shit. An' I don't know, I just get really angry at 'im, and at how me an' Steve ain't gettin' along, and I jsut punch 'im, didn't even realize it 'til that teacher yells at me an' I see Tony on the ground, clutchin' at his nose, an' yellin' 'bout how it's broken." Bucky rubs at his face and shakes his head. "I don't know, doc. I don't hate Tony, he's an okay guy, never teased Steve or bullied him, not seriously. Sure he teased him a little, but that was just friendly teasin', y'know? An' I'm glad he's tryin' to treat Steve right, 'cause Steve deserves to be treated like that, Steve deserves everythin'. Fuck, Steve deserves the universe, an' if anyone can give it to 'im, it's Stark." Bucky sighs. frowning. "I don't know why I hit Tony, but I feel bad about it."
"Perhaps I can provide an outsider's view?" Stephen suggests. Bucky just shrugs, allowing Stephen to talk. "You said you and Steve were having fights, you seemed concerned that you're growing apart. Perhaps that, on top of all of your other concerns, caused you to lash out at Tony, especially when it seems he is replacing you in Steve's life."
Bucky can't help but laugh at that.
"You make it sound like I was Steve's boyfriend." Bucky says, laughing. Stephen doesn't laugh, simply raises his eyebrows. Bucky cuts off his laughter and gapes at him. "You've gotta be kidding me. I wasn't Steve's boyfriend!" Bucky protests.
"But you cannot deny you had a very intimate relationship." Stephen counters. Bucky blushes and shakes his head.
"We weren't like that, doc. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I don't mind that Steve's bisexual, it'd be hypocritical if I did 'cause I'm gay. But we were never- no- he didn't- doesn't- Steve an' I ain't-" Bucky stops himself and shakes his head. "Steve doesn't think of me like that." Bucky finally says, with all the assurance of someone with an unrequited crush.
"But you do?" Stephen surmises.
"Well, yeah. But I ain't gonna tell 'im that, don't wanna ruin our friendship."
"It seems to me, that your friendship is already ruined." Stephen replies. Bucky glares at him and grits his teeth. "From what you've told me, it doesn't seem like you two are acting like friends anymore. If anything, you sound as if you're going through a break-up."
"Look, doc, as much as I love these chats of ours, I'd like to get to at least one class on time." Bucky says, standing. Stephen watches him and nods.
"Of course. I'll write you a pass if you like?" Stephen offers. Bucky shakes his head.
"Nah, I should be able to get there on time. Thanks for the talk, and," Bucky waves his hand, "everythin'."
Bucky manages to make it to his next class, another one he shares with Steve. He shuffles in along with the other students without fuss and slides into the desk next to Steve's.
"Bucky, where were you last period? Mrs Jones marked you as skipping." Steve asks him, leaning across his own desk.
"I was with Stephen." Bucky tells him, pulling out his notebook. "I, uh, punched Tony in the face." He admits, wincing.
"What?!"
"I know, I know. He's your friend, an' you like him, but man, he can be a real dick sometimes." Bucky shakes his head. "Look, I've been havin' a really crappy day, alright? I missed the alarm, me an' Clint had to run here, then fuckin' Strucker gives me detention, I forgot our science project, so I let you down, then Tony starts in on how he's gonna woo ya, which I don't mind, he's a good guy, but jeez he just doesn't know when to shut up. So I snap and I sock 'im in the nose, then this teacher, who I've never seen before by the way, rounds the corner an' sees me, then hauls me down to Stephen's office."
"You didn't let me down, Buck." Steve mutters.
"What?"
"You didn't let me down." Steve repeats. "An' I don't like Tony. Not like that."
"What?" Bucky repeats himself, like the genius he is.
"Why do you think I keep sayin' no?" Steve laughs.
Bucky starts to reply, but their teacher calls for attention, so both he and Steve turn to face the front.
Bucky doesn't really get much done that class, the words 'I don't like Tony. Not like that' circling his mind in Steve's voice. The bell rings, startling Bucky from his thoughts. He looks down at his paper and see's that he's written the phrase all over his paper.
"Hey Buck." Steve says, getting his friend's attention. Bucky jumps and slams his notebook shut, heat engulfing his face.
"What?" Bucky asks, startled.
"Hurry up and pack your things, we've still got to get through lunch and then one more class." Steve tells him, hitching his own bag up higher on his bony shoulders.
"Yeah, I'll be a sec." Bucky responds, already shoving his things into his bag haphazardly. He zips it up and walks with Steve to the cafeteria. It's an awkward walk, not only because of all the fighting they've been doing, but also because Bucky is still reeling from the revelation that Steve does not in fact like Tony Stark.
"You want me to come over so we can study together. It didn't seem like you were paying much attention to class." Steve suggests, startling Bucky out of his thoughts.
"No." Bucky says immediately, his father's beating still fresh enough to cause phantom pains when he thinks about it. "Uh, Dad's gonna be home, and he doesn't like it when you come over, you know that." Bucky flushes and looks away. "Especially after what happened last time."
Steve's face darkens and he clenches his jaw.
"How many times do I have to tell you to call Child Services before you do?" Steve asks him angrily.
"I told you Steve, I can't do that." Bucky responds with a sigh. "Maybe if Becca was here I could, but she's not so I can't. You know I can't do that to Clint. If I call Child Services, or the police, or anyone, they'll send him back to the orphanage and he'll end up in foster care again." Bucky shakes his head. "Besides, it's not like they'll believe me. He never does it when there's anyone else around, so there's no witnesses besides me. Who're they gonna believe? The cop, or the kid with a record of trouble-making and a permanent record two inches thick?"
"That's bullshit and you know it! Beside's it's not like any of that was your fault, most of that is 'cause of me! And they gotta believe you, especially if you show 'em the scars!" Steve insists.
"There ain't any scars, Steve! That's the point! He doesn't leave any marks that could tie back to him. He knows how to do damage without leaving any sign of it." Bucky replies, attempting to keep his voice down.
"You can't let him keep doing this to you!" Steve presses. "If you don't do anything, then I will!"
"Steve! Just leave it alone, will ya? God, I told you I can't do anything, so just drop it for fuck's sake!" Bucky yells at his friend. There's a few people in the hallway that are staring at them, but neither of them pay any attention.
"Fuck no I ain't gonna leave it alone!" Steve yells back. "What would you do if it was me? Huh? What would you do if one'a my foster parent's decided to beat me 'cause I had asthma, or I was costin' them too much in hospital bills? What would Bucky Barnes do if a foster parent called me a fag?"
"That's different, Steve!" Bucky insists, still yelling, hands clenched by his sides. Not that he would ever hit Steve.
"How the fuck is that any different that what George does to you?" Steve shouts.
"It just is, dammit!" There's a crowd, and a few teachers seem to have been called. The Howling Commandoes are there, trying to push through, but between the teachers and the rubberneckers, it's nearly impossible.
"WHY?!"
"Because you're more important than I am, Steve!" Bucky shouts.
Steve punches him in the face.
The teachers rush forward and pull Steve away from Bucky. Bucky can't help but look at Steve like a wounded puppy, but Steve just glares back at him.
"Don't you dare say that about yourself! Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that James Buchannan Barnes! I don't give a fuck what you're poor excuse for a father says, you are the most important person in my life, and don't you dare say otherwise! You hear me you piece of shit!" Steve yells at him, even as he's being dragged away by two teachers.
Bucky can't do anything but hold his cheek and watch as they drag his best friend away.
"Bucky, are you okay?" Peggy asks, the Howling Commandoes rushing toward him once they're finally able to break through the crowd.
"I don't know." He replies honestly.
"C'mon, let's get you to the nurse." Jim says, grabbing Bucky's arm and steering him away from the scene.
Bucky's silent the entire time he's in the nurses office. When she lets him go, he walks to his next class alone, aware of the students staring at him as he walks through the halls. He doesn't care what they're whispering to each other, doesn't care what they think happened. He doesn't really care about anything right now. He sits through his next two classes silently, taking notes and going through the motions of being a productive student. He doesn't remember what they did by the time he leaves the classroom.
He only barely remembers to go to detention, but he eventually finds himself sitting in his usual seat at the back. He's not paying attention to what's going on around him, so it comes as a surprise when he see's Steve slid into a seat near him out of the corner of his eye. It shouldn't be surprising to find him here after their very public fight, but he's still shocked to see him. Or maybe he's just shocked to see Steve sitting so close to him.
Phil Coulson, the teacher in charge of detention, calls the roll, making sure everyone that should be here is here. Some of the other students look back at them when Steve and Bucky's names are called, but Bucky honestly doesn't care what they think.
Bucky's time in detention passes slowly, the ticks of the clock seemingly infinities apart. There's only four other people in the room, all of them familiar to Bucky. There's Peter "Starlord" Quill, whom he and Steve went to elementary school with. Then there's Peter Parker, who seems nice enough, but has a problem with bullies picking on him. Bucky doesn't know what he could have done to put him in detention, but he figures it has something to do with Flash Thompson. Matt Murdock is sitting at the desk closest to the door, reading one of his braille books. He has a couple fading cuts on his face, and what looks like a black eye hidden by his red glasses. Finally, sitting right by Coulson's desk, beside Peter Parker, is Wade Wilson. Bucky heard he nearly broke a guy's arm after the guy beat up Parker, but for all he knows it's just a high school rumor. However, it's a well known fact that Wade has an unhealthy obsession with Peter Parker, trailing him around and calling him Spider Man or Spidey, and talking about how the 'fans' are just dying for them to get together. A majority of the school thinks he has some kind of mental disorder, but a couple people think he's just weird.
About halfway through their confinement, Wade pulls out a stack of pancakes. Bucky has no idea where he got them, and from the expressions on Steve, Peter Quill, and Coulson's faces, he guesses they don't either. Matt turns his head and frowns, muttering to himself about artificial pancake syrup and prepackaged pancake mix. Wade doesn't pay them any mind, happily digging into his stack of pancakes.
"Mr Wilson, there's no eating in detention." Coulson reminds him.
"Hwrf erlf m I grnna gurt derner?" Wade asks with his mouth full of the golden circles.
"Mr Wilson, please swallow before talking." Coulson says with a sigh.
"I said, how else am I gonna get dinner?" Wade repeats himself.
"After detention, just like everyone else." Coulson replies.
"But the pancakes will be cold!" Wade protests. Coulson sighs and rubs at his eyes, muttering to himself. By the door, Matt chuckles.
"Fine. Just, finish the stack. And no talking." Coulson relents, settling further into his desk chair. Wade happily goes back to eating his pancakes and Bucky goes back to moping. Not that he's moping. No, sir. James Buchannan Barnes does not mope.
When Coulson dismisses them, Bucky tries to escape before Steve catches him, but that doesn't work out.
"Bucky, wait up!" Steve calls after him. Bucky pretends not to hear and keeps walking.
"Bucky, please, stop!" Steve keeps calling. Bucky picks up his pace.
"Bucky, please, just stop, please Buck! I need ta talk to ya, please! Just let me explain!" Steve is stubborn and keeps trailing after Bucky. Bucky begins to flat out run, he doesn't want to talk to Steve right now, he doesn't want to face Steve right now.
"Bucky! Bucky please!" Steve's voice still calls out to him, repeating the same message over and over again. Until it doesn't. Bucky doesn't want to, but he turns around.
Steve is hunched over, one hand on his knee, the other gripping the fence beside him. His chest his heaving and his small frame is obviously shaking, even from a distance.
"Shit." Bucky curses to himself, running back over to Steve.
Steve's having an asthma attack, a really bad one judging from the rattle in his chest.
"Shit, Steve." Bucky curses again as he kneels next to him, resting a hand on his back. "Shit, breathe Stevie! C'mon, you gotta breathe for me, please!" Bucky rubs at his back with one hand and searches his pockets for his inhaler with the other. "Fuck, Steve, where's your inhaler? C'mon, Stevie!" Steve doesn't answer, just continues to struggle to breathe. His lips and finger tips are starting to go slightly blue. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Shit, Stevie, c'mon, c'mon, it's okay, it's okay, it'll be fine." Bucky mutter to Steve as he flips his own back pack around and digs through the front pocket for Steve's emergency inhaler. He pulls it out with a triumphant shout and shakes it up before pressing it to Steve's lips. "Okay, it'll be okay, I'm going to press it and you gotta breathe in for me, okay? On three." Bucky watches as Steve wraps his lips around the inhaler and Bucky keeps him steady. "One. Two. Three." On three Bucky presses down and Steve inhales. Bucky takes the inhaler away and shakes it up again. "Okay, we're gonna do that again." He presses it back to Steve's lips and the other boy takes it into his mouth again, this time one of his hands joining Bucky's to keep the inhaler pressed against his mouth. "One. Two. Three." Again Bucky presses down, and again Steve breathes in. "Okay, one more time Stevie." Bucky says as he shakes the inhaler again. "One. Two. Three." Bucky presses, Steve breathes in. When Bucky takes the inhaler away again Steve is able to breathe normally again, albeit slightly labored.
"Oh thank fuck." Bucky breathes, wrapping Steve in his arms and squeezing him tightly.
"Bucky…" Steve rasps, hugging him back.
"I thought I fucking lost you Steve." Bucky mumbles into his neck. He lifts his head and stares at Steve with watery eyes. "I was so scared. Your lips were turning blue, Steve, and I couldn't find your fucking inhaler! I didn't want you to die! I didn't want you to go thinking I hated you! Shit, Steve, I could never hate you, I couldn't do it, not if they brainwashed me or wiped you from my memory a thousand times. I'm so sorry if you thought I hated you. You're stubborn as all get out, and you get into fights you can't win, but goddammit, I can't imagine what would've happened if you- I thought you were gonna-"
Steve shuts him up by kissing him. Bucky's mind temporarily short-circuits and when it reboots itself, Steve is staring at him with a fond smile playing at his lips.
"I love you, Bucky."
Bucky's brain short-circuits again.
"What?"
"I love you." Steve repeats. "Always have. I was tryin' to tell ya when I came out to ya, but we sorta got distracted. If George hadn't come home early, I woulda kissed ya right there on the floor."
Bucky doesn't know what to say, so he acts.
He leans forward and kisses Steve. Unlike when Steve kissed him, both parties take an active roll in the kissing. Steve clutches at Bucky's hair and Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's bony chest, hugging him as close as possible. Steve pulls away first, panting slightly.
"Bucky, we both gotta get home." Steve reminds him, resting his forehead against Bucky's.
"Don' wanna." Bucky murmurs. "Wanna stay with you."
"You can't." Steve pulls away and shakes his head. "You gotta get home before George."
The mention of his father is like a bucket of cold water being poured over Bucky.
"Right." Bucky swallows and slowly stands up, helping Steve to his feet as he does. Bucky picks up his back pack and puts the inhaler back where it goes, zipping it closed. He starts to walk away, but Steve stops him with a hand on his wrist.
"Wait, Buck. I, I mean, if you want, I'd like it if we, maybe, did that again?" Steve looks at Bucky carefully, gauging his reaction. Bucky smiles at him and cocks his head to the side.
"You askin' me to go steady Rogers?" Bucky asks smoothly. Steve laughs at him and shakes his head in amusement.
"And if I was Barnes?" Steve replies saucily. Bucky grins and steps towards him again.
"I'd do this." He whispers before leaning down and kissing Steve.
Summary for triggering part:
Becca has left for basic training, Clint is out of the house for an archery class, and George is at work. Steve and Bucky are studying in Bucky's room while the house is empty and Steve tells Bucky he's bisexual, to which Bucky responds that he's gay. They joke and wrestle, ending up with Steve straddling Bucky. They both start to lean in, like they're about to kiss, but they're interrupted by George Barnes coming home and catching them. He yells at Bucky and calls Steve homophobic slurs, then Bucky tells Steve to go home. Once Steve leaves George abuses Bucky both physically and verbally, calling him slurs in reference to his sexuality and the fact that his mother died after giving birth to him. The abuse stops before Clint comes home.