"...PIMATH BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES MATHS AND I HATE YOU!" Awesomestar screamed so loudly her head exploded. Bits of her flesh fell down on all the cats and everyone eventually died. Lots of cats came back to life, but not all of them because keeping track of all these characters was quite difficult for the author.
After fixing up the fourth wall that had been so disastrously destroyed Jayno-eyes turned to the remaining crowd.
"SO MY CHILDREN I HAVE SOME NEWS!" He screeched, "AS I'M PROBABLY THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THIS STORY (the fourth wall crumbled down again) YOU'LL ALL LISTEN TO ME NOW!" Lionblaze died at the suggestion of such a thing. All the other cats went home and ignored Jayno-eyes.
"MOOOM!" Freakishlyscarykit yelled. Ferncloud looked at him and screamed at his freakishly scary face. She threw up four times before he put his paws in front of his face.
"OMG WHAT DO U WANT LOSER?" Dustpelt asked angrily.
"MOOOOM! THIS STORY IS GETTING REALLY BORING ESPECIALLY SINCE THE AUTHOR LEFT FOR LIKE TWO YEARS MOM MAKE SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPEN OMG UR SO USELESS GOD!" Freakishlyscarykit exclaimed.
"FINE JESUS CHRIST!" Ferncloud replied.
"Have any of you noticed all of the dialogue so far in this chapter have been in caps?" Firestar pointed out helpfully.
"OMFG NOBODY CARES." Dustpelt killed Firestar and turned to Ferncloud, "What are you gunna do?" Ferncloud did a sexy winky face which meant she had a plan.
"SPOTTEDLEAF!" She called. Spottedleaf magicked herself into the camp.
"Yeah, bae?" Spottedleaf said, also doing a sexy winky face, but this one meant something different. Ferncloud coughed.
"I need you to do yoUR MAGIC ON MY BABY." She said, pointing at Freakishlyscarykit, "make hIM PRETTY!"
SPottedleaf got to work with all her magic supplies on Freakishlyscarykit's face.
Meanwhile, Jayno-eyes walked around sadly. Suddenly, Tallstar appeared out of nowhere.
"Jayno-eyes!" Tallstar said, "I definitely think you should be in charge!" Tallstar said, doing some sexy posing and winking and eyebrows, "You can be in charge of me." jayno-eyes stared at him.
"This ship doesn't even make sense." He said, "I don't think a single fangirl even ships this." He stated. Tallstar shrugged and waggled his shoulders.
"Does that matter? Do YOU ship Tallno-eyes?" He asked.
"No becAUSE I HATE MY NAME!" Jayno-eyes screamed. Tallstar shook his back legs seductively.
"I'm a leader, Jayno-eyes. I can rename you." Tallstar said huskily, "I hereby name you Jayfeather!"
"I SHIP TALLFEATHER!" JayFEATHER cried.
"I SHIP TALLFEATHER!" Tallstar cried sexily.
Then some more things happened, but we can write them down here...
Spottedleaf stepped away from Freakishlyscarykit and admired her work.
Freakishlyscarykit was no longer ugly.
He was no longer freakishly scary.
He was...
He was freakishly GORGEOUS.
Freakishlygorgeouskit turned to Ferncloud.
"Do I look nice now mommy?" He asked sweetly. Even his voice was cute now.
Suddenly Freakishlygorgeouskit was surrounded by she-kits. All of them were trying to get his autograph, to get a kiss. Freakishlygorgeouskit accepted all their gifts of heart shaped chocolates but made a sudden announcement.
"Everyone," He said cutely, "You guys are cute as BUT I AM INTERESTED IN MEN!"
Everyone gasped.
"And one man cat in particular..."