"I can't believe my stupid sister convinced Lancer to make this my punishment…" Danny muttered, shivering across the desk from the school's new counsellor. "And can we please turn up the heat in here?! I can see my own breath." He snapped, not having the patience to deal with this woman.
"Wow you do complain a lot…" Ms. Spectra muttered, clasping her hands in front of her face, elbows propped up on the desk. "So… Your sister tells me you've been in therapy before. Is that right?" She asked seemingly concerned.
Danny rolled his eyes, of course Jazz would tell her that. Why would't she? "Yeah… I started therapy when I was twelve, I think…" He thought, nodding to himself. "I stopped… Probably about a month or two ago." He shrugged. "Jazz has been bugging me to go back but I just don't have time for it anymore. And besides. I'm fine." Danny added adamantly.
"Why were you in therapy before?" The woman asked, taking an interest in this information, looking for anything she could use.
Danny hesitated. Something about this woman didn't sit right with him, unfortunately, he could not quite put his finger on what was off about her. Still, the school had hired her to help the students, and Mr. Lancer had said she was highly respected in her field. She couldn't be too terrible, right? He sighed, maybe he did need to talk to someone again. "I have Gender Disphoria." He stated simply, although self-consciously. "I was, uh, assigned female at birth. I was in therapy for a while and I began my transition about a year or so ago…"
Ms. Spectra sat back in her chair, pushing her glasses up her face. She could definitely work with this… "So… You're really a girl?"
Danny stared at her wide-eyed, caught off guard by the uncouth comment. "I guess…Wait. I mean…" Anger began to burn in his chest as she spoke to him in such a way. Who did she think she was? Was this woman even qualified to handle his situation? "No. No! I'm not. I'm a boy." He snapped, giving the woman a dark glare.
She nodded to herself, making a few mental notes before continuing. "And when you say 'began your transition', you mean began living as a boy, right?" Spectra asked, waiting for Danny to give her a nod. "And so you're identifying as a boy. And everyone is going along with it?"
Danny blinked. "I-I don't… What do you mean?" Something about her tone put him on edge. He was sure he did not like where this conversation was going.
"I mean your parents, your sister, your friends, heck, the entire school faculty seems to be catering to this…" She waved her hand, motioning to the teen before her. "Little game of yours…"
Blue eyes wide, the boy leaned back in his chair, trying to put as much distance between himself and the woman as he could. "G-Game? I'm not—"
"Now Danny… I'm sure you didn't mean anything by this…" Spectra continued, rising to her feet and approaching the teen. "But don't you think it's a little selfish to ask everybody to help you be something you're not?"
"But I—"
"I want you to answer me something honestly, Danny." She cut him off once more, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Are you happy right now? Really?"
"I-I…" He lowered his head. Red flags going up in his head, making it difficult for him to focus. This was stupid, trivial, even. He knew he was happy this way. He knew that this was the way he was supposed to be, and he knew that starting high school as a male was the first steps to being the person he felt on the inside. At the present time, though, with Ms. Spectra looming over him with her hands heavy on his shoulders and waiting for an answer he truly felt miserable. He had not felt this horrible since middle school, before coming out, before becoming 'Danny'. Was he happy? Right now? "I…" He shook his head. "I feel miserable." He admitted.
He was making this far too easy… She thought, kneeling down before him to meet his sad, pitiful eyes. "Do you think you'd be happier if you gave up this charade and went back to being yourself? The person you were born as and born to be?" She asked seriously, offering him a smile.
Danny stared at her, mouth open, eyes wide. His binder suddenly felt far too tight as he felt himself stop breathing. Her office was freezing and he was sure he was shaking by now. He looked away from her, feeling more self-conscious than he ever had before in his young life. "I…" He shut his mouth, not having an answer for the woman. He felt angry, wanting to yell out at her that she was wrong and wasn't allowed to speak to him that way. But he could feel old insecurities creep back into his mind, wondering if she was right. Wondering what would make him happier. Wondering if he would ever be able to be happy. Maybe he was just supposed to be miserable. He could feel her standing over him, if she was waiting for an answer he didn't know what to give her. Danny decided to simply shake his head, rising from the chair. He felt like he was suffocating in this room. He needed to get away from her as fast as he could. He felt dizzy when he stood, disoriented as he tried to rush to the door.
"Go out there and be a better you!" She called out to him in her overly-cheery voice. He felt like he was going to be sick.
—
Danny let out a deep breath as soon as his bedroom door was shut behind him. He could hear his parents eagerly yelling at his sister to elaborate about ghost hornets down stairs and he smiled to himself as he knew first hand the situation he had put his sister in. For a moment his revenge made him feel less miserable.
He slipped out of his t-shirt, fumbling with his binder for a moment before getting out of it as well. He took another deep breath, his lungs filling with air easier than before. He felt better momentarily, until he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Danny let out an angry sigh, sulking over to his closet to slide on a baggier, darker t-shirt. What was wrong with him? He wondered. Why couldn't he just be normal?
He thought about what Ms. Spectra had suggested. Why not just go back to being "himself". "Herself?" He let out a frustrated groan, climbing into his closet and shutting the door behind him.
He sat on the floor of his closet in the dark, blue eyes sliding shut as he pulled his knees up to his chest. What was he? Who was he? He tugged at his hair, eyes burning as he fought back tears. At least back in the dark of the closet, no one would see him cry. No one would see what a freak he was.
His head snapped up when there was a hard knock on the other side of the door. He jumped in surprise at the sound, and immediately regretted it as he was harshly reminded of his injuries from the ghost hornet. "Go away." He muttered, quickly wiping his eyes.
The door flew open in response. Blue eyes squinted against the harsh light of the outside world. "Room for two more? Sam asked with a smile.
Danny shot his two best friends a glare, reaching up to take grab the door knob. "No." He shot back, making a motion to close the door.
Tucker quickly grabbed a hold of the door, keeping it open. "Sorry. Wrong answer." He corrected with a smile that was not returned by the boy in the closet.
Sam sat down beside Danny. "What's going on, Danny? You seemed really off your game today."
His eyes narrowed, giving her a glare. "Wow. Thanks for the reminder…" He muttered, looking down at his feet, and wishing they would just leave him alone.
She gave him an apologetic look. "Seriously. What did you and that shrink talk about that's got you so down?"
Danny did not answer right away. He continued staring down at his feet, not trusting himself to look anywhere else. "Everyone seems to be catering to this little game of yours…" Echoed in his head as his eyes began to water once more. "Can… Can I ask you guys something…?" He asked quietly, eyes sliding shut.
"Yeah, man, what's up?" Tucker asked, sitting down in the doorway across from his best friend.
Danny inwardly winced at how easily 'man' fell off his tongue. He wished he did not like it so much. "I… I'm not… a burden to you guys… am I? I mean… This-this whole trans thing… It doesn't bother you does it? Or, inconvenience you?" He asked softly, sniffling slightly.
Sam and Tucker exchanged glances. Confusion quickly turned to anger as they realized what was he was implying. The two stared at each other, not sure what to say or how to react to this out of no where question. The two had been the first ones he had come out to. The first ones to call him 'Danny'. They were both waiting on stand-by when he told his family in case something went wrong. They had been the first people to notice how much happier he was now than ever before. It didn't take long for them to figure out where these questions were coming from. "Did that shrink tell you that you were inconveniencing us?!" Sam snapped, grabbing Danny by the shoulders and making him face her. "What did she say to you?"
Both boys stared at her wide-eyed, caught off guard by her outburst. Danny was not sure where to start to answer her. "I-I-Sam—"
"She's not allowed to talk to you like that." She stated seriously. "She's a counselor at a high school, she can't tell you that you being yourself isn't okay. We have to talk to Mrs. Ishiyama tomorrow. This has to be illegal somehow." Sam spoke quickly, ready to go to battle for her friend and his identity.
"Sam. Sam. Calm down." Tucker spoke seriously, trying to pacify the entire room. "Honestly Danny, why would you being you bother us? If that shrink is bothered, that's her issue. Not yours."
"But—"
"No 'buts'." Sam interrupted. "Give yourself more credit, Danny." She offered him a smile, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "You know who you are. You can't let someone else tell you that. Especially someone that you met this morning." She gave him an eerie smile that honestly made the boy uncomfortable. "And that bitch and I now have problems. So this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna go to the mall. You're gonna have a great time and cheer up. And tomorrow Tucker and I are gonna have a few words with Ms. Spectra." She nodded, keeping a firm and intimidating eye contact with Danny until he had to nod back with her.
"Wait… Both of us?" Tucker asked, not thrilled about visiting a shrink.
"Yup." She nodded, slapping Danny on the back as she rose to her feet. "Now put your clothes back on. We're going to the mall."
—
"Well this is annoying…" Spectra muttered to herself, strumming her well-kept nails on her desk. It was true, the ghost child had done more for her than she had ever anticipated. What she had not anticipated, though, was his little friends rushing to his rescue. She had taken care of them, easily enough, but there is really only so much misery that can be sucked out of a goth girl. And to make matters worse, the ghost boy seemed to be bouncing back quicker than expected. That simply would not do! She had to do something. She couldn't be losing her touch.
—
"Hello, Jasmine! Thank you so much for stopping by!" Spectra gave Jazz a wide grin as she sat across the desk from her.
"It-it's Jazz." The young girl argued—again. "But yeah. No problem. Did you want to talk about tomorrow's pep rally?" She asked, opening up her spiral notebook to a blank page and clicking her pen a few times before heading her paper.
"Actually. I wanted to talk to you a bit about your sister." Spectra said too easily, studying Jazz's reaction carefully.
The teen froze for a moment, suddenly devoting all of her attention to the counselor. "I'm sorry?" She asked, knowing she had to have misheard her. "I-I don't have a sister."
"Oh? That's not what I heard…"
"Then you heard wrong!" Jazz snapped. "Listen, Ms. Spectra. I don't know what you think you're getting at here, but it's not okay. This is serious and I will not allow you to speak about my brother that way. I don't know who you've been talking to but you can't just go around—"
"Why it was your sister that told me…" Spectra interrupted. "She told me everything…"
Jazz's head was spinning. She wanted so desperately to know what Spectra had spoken to her younger sibling about, but she knew that that was none of her business. Although Spectra wasn't allowed to divulge anything she spoke about with the other students, it was obvious that she would anyway. Still, Jazz would rather hear this from Danny, than some counselor. "You don't know my brother, or our family." She snapped, rising to her feet.
Spectra remained in her seat, not expecting the anger at all. "Is that so? Maybe you don't know your sibling as well as you think you do." She offered calmly.
Jazz's eyes narrowed into a glare. "I have to go to class." She snapped, storming out of Ms. Spectra's office. Who did this woman think she was? How dare she speak of Danny that way!
Although, Danny had seemed off the last few months. Ever since the accident when he somehow managed to get his parents's portal working, he hadn't seemed himself. Maybe they had told Spectra something?
—
"So… Wait… Ms. Spectra is insisting that she cal you by your birth name?" Tucker asked, sitting across from the pouting Danny as he worked on his ice cream cone after school.
Danny sighed, chin propped up in his hand. "Pretty much… She seems to think that I'll be happier without the stress of transitioning and if I go back to being my 'born self'." He muttered with quote fingers.
"That's bullshit." Sam muttered. taking an angry bite out of her tofu-cone. "You have to stop seeing her."
"I can't." Danny argued angrily. "Seeing her everyday is the only thing keeping me from a month's worth of detention."
"Then suck it up and go to detention. With dignity. As a man." Sam fought back.
"Sam, I—"
"Hey…" A familiar voice behind Danny piped up, interrupting what was becoming a heated argument. The ghost-boy was surprised to see his sister behind him, worried look on her face. "Uhm… Can I… talk to you for a second…?"
Danny scowled. The last thing he needed was both Sam and Jazz bitching him out. Especially when Jazz was the one that put him in therapy with that shrink in the first place. Could this get any worse? "I'm a little busy right now, Jazz." He replied back angrily. His eyes widened as he could see his breath as his sister's name exited his lips. It could get worse, apparently. He had to get out of there. He had to keep Jazz occupied. He turned back around to Sam and Tucker. "Yeah, well, if you're gonna take her side, then you hang with her too!" He yelled before storming off into the alley behind the pharmacy as he could hear Jazz call out after him.
—
"You got this, buddy. ^^d" Tucker typed encouragingly in the IM chat room.
"No fear." Sam typed as well. "We'll be right here if you need us."
Danny took a deep breath, nodding to himself as he read the words of encouragement from his best friends. "Thanks guys. I really appreciate it… Thank you."
"Can't wait to hear all about it~" Sam responded.
With that finality, Danny parted himself away from his computer. This was it. Now or never. He thought to himself as he made his way down stairs.
He was relieved to find his parents and sister altogether in the living room. His parents arguing back and forth over some thermos that would in theory capture ghosts, somehow. Jazz was sitting in a chair in the corner, elbows deep in some stupid victorian novel. He stood at the foot of the stairs unnoticed for a while. It was not too late to retreat back into his room and just call the whole thing off.
But he knew that he could not do that to himself. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. "Uhm… Mom? Dad? Jazz?" He called out quietly, looking down at his feet. "Can… Can I talk to you all for a second…?"
They all stopped working, looking up at the child. Jazz stuck a bookmark in her novel. Their parents grew quiet. "Is it about ghosts?" His dad asked eagerly, patting the spot on the couch next to him.
"N-No…" Danny shook his head, hesitantly sitting between his parents on the couch. "I…Uh…Need to tell you something… Not… Not about ghosts…" He muttered.
His father seemed slightly put off that they weren't talking about ghosts, but did not speak further on the matter. Maddie wrapped her arm around her child's shoulders, seeing that they were upset. "What's wrong, Ella? Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked kindly.
Danny frowned. He hated that name. He felt guilty. He knew it was the name his parents had picked out. But he still hated it. It didn't fit him. "Uhm…" Just come out and say it. "I go by Danny now." He said bluntly. "And… And… I… I'maboyandDannyandaheandyeah …" He managed out quickly, squeezing his eyes shut, wishing he could just disappear or fly away or both.
A thick uncomfortable silence filled the room. The other three Fentons looking between themselves. Maddie was the first to speak, arm still wrapped around her child she gave them a light squeeze. "Ell—Danny… Honey… I don't understand. You ARE a girl…"
While he was relieved she took to 'Danny' so quickly, he had to admit it stung that she was trying to argue with him. "I-I am… But… I'm not…" Danny did not know how to explain what he was feeling. "I'm… I'm a boy… But…" He sighed, burying his face in his hands. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
"I've read about this… Actually…" Jazz spoke up, pulling her laptop out from under her chair. All three on the couch turned to look over at her as she typed quickly at the keys. "Transgender." She finally said, finding what she was looking for. "Right?" She asked carefully, rising up to bring her laptop over to the family. Setting it down on the coffee table in front of them. "You feel like a boy on the inside… Even though you were born as a girl?"
Tears pricked at Danny's eyes as he stared at the computer screen. It had a name? There were other people who felt the way he did? He wasn't crazy? He wasn't alone? He felt himself stop breathing as his parents studied the screen around him. His mother leaned forward, scrolling down and skimming a few articles as she clicked on them. "Huh…" She muttered, finally speaking. "Well, Jack… Looks like you got that son you always wanted." She said with a smile.
Jack cheered as Danny began to sob, overwhelmed by his parents' acceptance."I'm sorry." He cried, he had been anticipating the need to apologize to them for so long. The words just slipped out. "I'm sorry."
He held on tightly to his mother as she took him into her arms. "Don't be, sweetie. We love you, Danny. We'll always love you."
—
Jazz peered around the corner, poking her head into the kitchen where her brother sat, poking at his dinner. It had certainly been a busy day. First, Ms. Spectra implies that Danny is questioning his gender again. Then, Jazz discovers that her sibling is part ghost? What was going on with him? She wanted to reach out to him. Let him know that she was there for him no matter what. That she loved him. "Hey…" She called out, entering the kitchen cautiously. "Can we, uh, talk?" She asked, testing the waters.
Danny shrugged. "Whatever…" He muttered, too exhausted to argue with her at this point. He knew that she was not going to back down from talking to him. Might as well be now. He thought.
She sat down next to him at the table. "So…I know I've been kinda hard on you lately… but you know I think you're great, right?" He opened his mouth to protest and she quickly cut him off by laying a hand over his. "I care about you. And even though you don't think I'll understand, you can talk to me about anything."
He gave her a guarded look, suddenly nervous. "Where is this coming from, Jazz?" He asked, wondering why she had been so clingy all day.
She let out a sigh, removing her hand from his. "Ms. Spectra talked to me today…" Danny's eyes widened. Jazz paused, unsure how to continue. "She… If… If you wanted to go back to… Going by Daniella… You would tell us… Right…?"
His hands balled up into tight fists. His face suddenly felt hot and his chest tight. Spectra… Spectra was talking to Jazz? About his disphoria? Why? Why would Spectra do that? What did she have to gain? "I-I don't know what she told you…" He spoke carefully, trying his best not to blow up at his sister. He swallowed. "My name is Daniel." His eyes burned and stung. "And that's… All there is to it, Jazz…" He muttered.
"Wait." She stopped, grabbing a hold of his shoulders. "Has… Ms. Spectra been misgendering you, Danny?" She asked angrily, rising to her feet quickly. "Oh… Oh no…" She shook her head darkly. He stared up at her wide-eyed, suddenly scared of his protective sister. "That's a mistake…" She patted him on the shoulder. "I'll take care of this… Don't worry…"
—
Jazz rushed to her brother, dodging the uncharacteristically bummed out students in the halls of Casper High. "Danny. I-I can't find Ms. Spectra. I'm so sorry. I don't know where she is. She's supposed to be at the assembly and I was going to talk to her beforehand and she apparently never showed up to work today." She apologize profusely, unable to defend her brother as planned.
Danny blinked. That was certainly strange, he thought just as his breath became visible again. "Oh no…" He muttered. "Don't tell me…"
"Danny?"
"I gotta go. Thank you for trying, Jazz. See you at the assembly." He managed out quickly over his shoulder as he ran into the bathroom to transform into his ghost form.
Is Spectra a ghost? Had she been this entire time? His mind was frantic with questions as he flew through the halls. How had he not picked up on this? That's why she kept it so cold in her office. That's why she made everyone she encountered so miserable. That's why she pitted everyone against one another. He froze as he rounded the corner and saw her, smug look on her face as she casually chatted away with the ghost he had been fighting all week. Anger filled his chest as he couldn't help but fire an ecto-blast at them. Bertrand went flying down the hall, much to Danny's amusement. "I figured it out, finally. You feed on misery, don't you?" He glared, firing another blast towards Spectra, which she dodged easily. "You find that one thing that a kid is most afraid of… Their future, their looks, their confidence… And you pick at it and pick at it while you reap the benefits?" She lunged for him and he barely had enough time to roll to the side, narrowly missing her. "And you'll do whatever it takes to get under someone's skin. You tell teenagers that their skin looks too old, or that they'll never have a good job out of high school. You purposely misgender people and try and pit their support group against them. What is wrong with you? Are your looks that important to you? Maybe you're the one that is so self-conscious!" He shouted at her.
"How. Dare. You." Spectra glared, her body transforming into her true ghost form. More of a figure than a person now, she shot an ectoblast at him, blowing him through the wall and barely giving him enough time to go intangible. "What gives you the right to speak to me that way? Don't you know who I am?" She demanded, she and Bertrand following Danny through the wall. "You're going to wish you hadn't, girly." She gave Danny a smirk as he struggled to get back to his feet. "Bertrand! Sic 'em!"
—
Danny swore to himself as he found himself shoved violently against the brick wall of the school. He had been doing so well, too! With her lackey out of the way, he was sure that Spectra would follow suit right behind him and into the thermos. He struggled to break free from her grip as she leaned in close to him, eerily whispering into his ear. "What are you, child?" She asked him with a teasing tone in her voice. "A ghost trying to fit in with humans? Or some creepy little girl with creepy little powers that thinks she can pass as a real boy?" He tried to push away from her but she pinned him harder against the wall. "What are you trying to prove to whom? You don't fit in anywhere!" She yelled into his ears as he desperately tried to block her out. "You're not a real ghost… Hell! You're not even a real boy! You're a freak!" She taunted, shaking him roughly as he swore he would not cry in front of her. He could feel her draining his energy and at this point he could not care less if she took all he had. He was tired of fighting with her. Tired of arguing. "Let me let you in on a secret, child." She started, feeling how close he was to defeat. "I don't care enough about any of your little classmates to put their feelings over my own. And I certainly don't care about you and your precious pronouns. They. Make. You. Easy. Girly…" She grinned, pulling more of his misery from him as he winced.
"Excuse me." A voice called from behind them. "I don't know this kid. But he looks like a boy to me…" Jazz called out behind them, pointing the Fenton Ghost Peeler in their direction.
Never before had Danny been so relieved to see his sister. And never before had he been so thrilled to be called a boy. The momentary spark of happiness was enough to catch Spectra off guard long enough for the Peeler to rip her off of Danny—and rip her years off of her body—literally.
Once she was no longer a distraction between them, the Fenton siblings found themselves in an awkward position. They stood facing each other in the closet. Danny held his breath, waiting for his sister's reaction. Jazz stood there a moment, unsure of what to say or do. She wanted to hold her brother, tell him how proud she was of him, how brave she thought he was. She wanted him to know that he did not have to be alone. She swallowed the big sister urge to hug him and instead did the opposite. "Ahhh. A Ghost!" She cried, running out the door. She wanted to be able to support him. She also remembered how he had come out to his family as Danny, though. He had done it on his own terms, when he was ready. He had needed that control then, and he would need it when he was ready to tell them about this as well. And for that, she would be willing to wait. He can tell me when he's ready, she thought with a smile.
