Self-Induced Nightmare for Lightning and Thunder

Chapter Four:

Coming To Her Emotional Rescue

…

An hour and fifteen minutes later;

On the verge of losing my sanity, I find myself barely standing in front of Forks High School, panting for every rattling breath I take, and soaked from head to toe, trembling and teeth clattering. For the past five minutes, I've been staring at the imposing, wide red metal double doors that lead into the school hallways and wondering why they refuse to open.

A guttural scream rips from my throat, searing, and I kick and punch the unyielding double doors, willing them to burst open with my violent battering –adding to the noise of the tempest raging. Still, it refuses to open. Cursing under my breath, I quiver under the assault of the elements as my mind and body, controlled by my worst fears, betrays me yet again.

I just want to get out of the rain and get to Bella, I silently plea.

Slamming my forehead against the unforgiving, cool metal of the door in defeat, I try to think of any other way in from my time walking these very halls. Suddenly, the wind moans and groans around me, growing menacing in its intensity, and the rain slams against my back icily and cutting, biting at every inch of exposed skin like icicle needles. Meanwhile, the world around me crashes loudly in my ears with another deafening roar and the leaves and trees rustle and groan with the force of the unrelenting wind.

Immediately, every single hair follicle on my body stands at apprehensive attention; warning me and begging me to figure something out, anything, to get myself out of my own personal paradox of prolonged drowning. Urgently, my fists and my kicks land hit after hit against the door on the left, trying to coax it into bursting open for me while the roar of the storm raging around me grows with deafening intensity.

With a great rattle and a burst of lightning, closely followed by a loud clap of thunder, I mercifully manage to wrench one of the heavy metal double doors open with undisguised frenetic impatience and stagger forward.

Though I momentarily wonder what it is I did different from the last two times I unsuccessfully tried to pry open the doors, I am so relieved that they've finally burst open that I don't have the right state of mind to dwell on it long enough. Instead, I practically launch face first into the floor with the momentum as soon as it bursts open and I begin to fall. Thankfully, my reflexes react faster than my thoughts and I make a grab for the door handle, which screeches in protest under my weight, and catch myself just in the knick of time.

So that was how… these doors have this weird, one-bar handle… I realize, and they open forward.

Ungainly finding myself on the other side of the threshold, I allow the metal door to noisily fall shut behind me. The moment it does, I stumble forward slightly as it hits my back on the retrieve and jump slightly as it swings back into place with a sound much like a death knell. Once I regain my balance and straighten up, I take a couple of unsteady steps further into the building and the familiar sight of its creamy linoleum tiles.

Finally inside and away from the rain, I sigh with relieve. For a moment I allow myself to dwell in this momentary sense of security, this welcome and needed respite. Propping my sagging, drenched weight against a wall and tilting my head back, I close my eyes against the fluorescent lighting to block out the scurrying demons and regain some semblance of control.

Finally, I am out of the rain. For now…

Though it still does not escape my notice that I can feel its eerie tendrils on me. I'm hyperaware of every single droplet; indolently running down my face, throat, limbs… trying to suffocate and drown me, just like it did the night it took my parents from me, before it gathers and joins the rest on a harmless puddle at my feet.

Just breathe, Jasper …breathe… I remind myself, aware of how my clothes are now wet and plastered to my body. All the while, I continue to hear the muted sound of rainwater slowly guttering down my elegant, angular visage in tendrils and caressing down my clothed body as I drip raindrops onto the creamy linoleum tiles.

The janitor is not going to be very pleased about this, when he finds this mess in the morning. I muse absentmindedly as I try to steady my erratic breathing and heart beat back to a normal staccato. With a trembling hand, I wipe my face and open my eyes again. Looking at my trembling hands, I note that they are an eerie greenish color under the harsh fluorescent lighting.

If I remember correctly and more often than not I did, when it came to Isabella Swan, whenever there was a hallway art project during our time here, she always complained about how terrible the lighting here it is unforgiving or something, she used to say and a look of ill-disguised disgust would color her heart-shaped visage. I smile fondly at the recollection and push myself away from the wall. Remembering where I am and why, I shake my head violently to rid it of all thoughts and focus.

Now, to find Isabella…

Awkwardly standing at the center of the main entrance leading to the many corridors, like vital arteries that make up the small high school, I am at a loss of where to head next. I don't know where Bella might be taking refuge from her fear.

The only thing I do know is that Bella comes here twice a week and spends around two hours in one of the unused pottery classrooms set aside for the college students. It is for her oil and acrylics' course.

Since the college we attend is so small and it does not have the sufficient amount of classrooms for first year's Art students, it has had a long-standing agreement with the high school, which the college pays a meager fee for.

Therefore, the high school lends the pottery classroom to all college students during late afternoons and after school hours, all year-round, for two days out of the week and provides them with some painting supplies as well. Honestly, only in Forks does something like this happen.

Conjuring up a mental map of the halls and grounds of Forks High, I take a moment to recall where the art classrooms might be located, according to memory. Though it has been nearly four years since the last time I walked down these familiar halls, I am amazed at how little I truly remember my way around.

Another clash of lightning and thunder puts me on edge and I run frenzied fingers through my drenched tresses, trying to calm myself. Running her fingers through my hair always works for Bella when she's trying to sooth me and take my mind off of my moments of panic. Apparently, unless she is here and the one doing it, it does nothing for me.

Unsure of where to go and conscious of how little time I feel I have in which to find Bella, I try to put one foot in front of the other and concentrate on just that. After all, my current state of panic isn't helping much, when attempting to sort out through my rational and irrational thoughts.

I need to get to Bella, quick…

Nodding derisively, I come up to a decision and settle on just going ahead with my gut feeling on this one and follow my heart, where Bella is the north to my compass. Just as I propel my body into motion once again, a stroke of lightning illuminates my surroundings with a white-blue flash and just as quickly fades.

Blinking away the after images, I hasten my hurried footsteps as the roar of thunder follows in its wake. With each step I take, the soles of my shoes squelch against the creamy tiles and echo throughout the walls of the deserted school, leaving wet footprints behind.

Bella, I'm on my way…

Rushing forward and hoping that I'm going the right way, I bypass the cafeteria to my left and another two hallways to my right and left, before making a sharp left and heading down another two deserted corridors. Heart beating frantically and painfully against my chest, I am pleased to note that almost every available surface on either side of this last corridor's walls are covered in student artwork. Meaning, my assumptions are correct and I am on the art's division of the school.

Standing outside the fifth door to my right, which reads 'POTTERY' on a plastic blue plaque and bold white letters next to the doorframe, I hesitate. The door is closed and the lights are out... Taking a deep breath and hoping for the best, I thrust the wooden door open and wince at the sound the doorknob makes as it connects with the wall, like a gunshot lost in the roar of the storm.

There's another bright flash… and about ten seconds later the accompanying clap of thunder ricochets.

But where is Bella?

"Bella?" I frantically call, my voice husky and unsteady, unfamiliar.

My eyes quickly scan the small classrooms first. The first three rooms smell of mud, wet clay I suppose, and there are all sorts of pottery in all shapes and sizes drying on almost every surface available. Otherwise, the classroom is empty.

"Bella?" I try again. "Are you in here?" Nothing… "Bella, it's me, Jasper!" No reply, just absolute silence. "Answer me, dammit!" I frown, my worries escalating.

I thought I'd heard her whimper…

Unexpectedly, there's an electric buzz from on top of me and florescent light floods the room in its eerie greenish glow. Glancing around and using the glow from the light to my advantage, I confirm that, apart from me, the room is empty and glance up. Above, the lights flicker on and off with an obnoxious buzzing that grates on my shrewd nerves. Glancing back down, I scan the room again, in the off chance that I might have missed something, and glancing at my feet I notice the puddle forming under the soles of my feet. Shivering, I sidestep the puddle and that's when I hear it –a quiet, frantic whimper...

Bella!

My head whips to my left, trying to locate the sound but all I see is another door. The flickering lights extinguish again and I wait. Lighting flashes… Once again, I hear her whimper, but this time she also calls my name. Thunder claps…

"Jasper...?" I indistinctly hear Bella's quivering voice whimper.

There.

Her voice is coming from the other side of the door, which probably opens up to an adjacent room. I still and strain my ears… "Jasper…" Bella sobs again and beyond the shadow of a doubt I know…

"Bella..." Heart leaping to my throat and tension ebbing, I stride forward, swiveling between tables and toward the closed door. Holding my breath, I try the doorknob. When it gives easily and without a sound, I open it and stare into absolute darkness. "I'm here," I try to assure her.

"Jasper... Jasper, I'm so scared," she cries quietly and my heart constricts as I try to locate the outline of her silhouette in the darkness and rush to her side. "Where are you?" Bella sounds so frighten, it tears my heart in two. "I– I need you…"

When my eyes locate Bella in the dimness of the flickering lights through straining eyes, I sigh, sagging against the door with immense relieve, and clutch tight to the doorknob for support. She's on the furthermost corner of the classroom, away from all the glass windows clustering the wall that oversees a great agglomeration of greenery and the flashes of threatening lightning. With her back to the windows, she's coiled into a tight ball, hugging her knees to her chest, forehead on her knees, and facing the wall with closed eyes, while keeping her back guarded and surrounded by her canvas and easel, a self-made fortress of sorts, and rocking back and forth as she tries to not give into her fear completely.

A vicious flash of lightning flashes too close for comfort near the windows, eerily illuminating the scene in a purple-ish-green light that lingers in the sky and then, disappears, leaving behind a temporarily deafening silence. Then, before the answering thunder can be heard, Bella's hands are covering her ears and her muscles ripple and bunch all over with her fear as the roar of thunder finally catches up and a throaty, strangled scream rips from her throat. This specific clash of thunder claps louder than the others before and as it echoes again, Bella's lips and entire frame quivers as my name falls from her lips like a prayer.

"Bella?" I cautiously call, uncertain.

Gasping quietly, Bella stiffens and slowly lifts her head from her knees and tries to locate me in the dimness as she glances over her shoulder in the general direction of the door. "Who-who's there?" Bella asks through quivering lips, frightened. As another flash of lightning provides her with enough light, despite her apprehension, Bella meets my eyes from across the cluttered classroom. There's a tense pause and then, her eyes widen in recognition.

"Are you okay?" I ask uneasily. Bella trembles at my question, an involuntary answer that tells me that no, clearly, Bella isn't okay and won't be until all this has passed. My knuckles whiten as I grip the doorknob a little too tightly, I hate seeing her so frightened. Hate seeing the white surrounding her brown eyes when they are widened in fear and I hate that there's nothing much I can do about it. Except, be by her side. "Don't move Bella, everything will be okay. I'm coming to you," I tell her and letting go of the doorknob as my hand goes numb, I make my way to her amid the maze of chairs, tables, easels, and art while trying to avoid the easels and chairs' legs, which I'm mostly successful at avoiding without tripping. All the while, Bella keeps staring at me, mesperized, and I'm extremely thankful that, somehow, I've avoided falling flat on my face.

"You're... Real," she points out, entranced. Shifting nervously to the left so she can keep me in sight and avoid looking at the wall of windows at the same time, the intermittent rain outside picks up and I shiver, feeling raindrops guttering between my shoulder blades. Frowning and cocking her head to the side in disbelieve as I come to a standstill before her and languidly kneel behind her shaking form.

"Yes," I smile reassuringly and forgoing the fact that I'm drenched, I envelope her in my arms. "I'm here and I'm real."

"I thought..." She trails off, gulping and shaking her head as she rests her back against my wet chest, seeming not to notice. "I called for you…" Bella chokes out in wonder, "but you really came..."

Needing to see her face, I shuffle us around a bit. Entranced, Bella's eyes follow my every move. Still, I don't stop until I have Bella's easel covering as much of the windows as possible from our little fort of sorts and her back is to it and I'm now kneeling at her feet. Staring at Bella's pale face, I find my voice once again. "For you..." I swallow, nodding reassuringly as I reach out to dry her tears with trembling fingers.

Eyes wide, she apprises me and slowly, a smile kisses the corner of her mouth. However, it fades a second later as another clash of lightning and thunder invades the pounding sound of rain. Bella's terror has me moving and I cast aside the hands holding her knees and gather her in my arms.

"You're wet!" she gasps and holds me closer, in spite.

"It's raining," I tease, murmuring the words against the crook of Bella's neck.

"I hadn't noticed," she scowls, pulling back slightly and appraising me.

"I -I ran here," I confess sheepishly.

"Why?" She sounds angry and grateful but mostly, concerned. She shivers. "You could have–"

"I forgot. And your truck is here..." I shrug. "Besides, you needed me..." Bella shudders in my arms and I tremble along with her as I feel a trickle of rain from between my shoulder blades run the length of my back.

"I'm sorry..." Bella sobs and buries her face on my shoulder, shaking with shame this time. Feeling contrite by the fact that she's apologizing for something neither of us has control over, I feel her hands clutching and pulling at the back of my wet shirt and focus on that to stop a lump from appearing in my throat. For a moment, I think it works. "I'm so, so sorry..."

I feel the lump finally form and expand at the back of my throat, threatening to suffocate me and causing my tears to prickle dangerously, threatening to fall. "It's okay," I choke out and they fall, but I brush them aside before Bella can notice.

"No. It isn't," she refutes, stubborn as ever.

"Bella, I was so scared for you, I barely noticed..." I lie, trying to sooth her. Bella shakes her head, knowing me better than that. I sigh. "Okay, I was terrified..." I admit quietly against her hair.

She freezes, looking torn. "But you came," she breathes.

I kiss her hair and pull back slightly so that I can look into her eyes. "Because I was more afraid of not being here for you when you need me..." I confess, eyes beseeching. Bella blinks, trying to blink back her tears. "You're always there for me when I need you, Bella... its only fair I finally return the favor."

"Thank you," she mumbles and leaning forward, kisses my cheek tenderly. Heat blooms from her lips to my cheek and the rest of my body ignites in answer.

I clear my throat. "Any time…"

I shiver as her fingertips lightly touch my face and neck as she brushes aside the signs of rain for an excuse to memorize my visage with her touch, I can only hope. "Thank you," she whispers again and my breath catches as her eyes meet mine and I see the sincerity in them.

"We should go home," I manage to breathe once I look away, else I might be tempted to kiss her.

"Home," she agrees and hearing the smile in her voice, despite the obvious tremor of fear at the thought of facing what's outside, I glance at her. However, Bella's eyes are shut tight as a specially bright flash of light breaks through the dim darkness.

"Where's your hoodie?" I ask her, trying to give her an anchor in my voice. She clutches onto it.

"Its inside my old school locker," she tells me, slowly opening her eyes, "it's still the same combination. Can you believe that?"

"We'll grab it on our way out then," I tell her, quickly coming up with a plan of action. "That way, you can use it to cover your face and block out the flashes."

"Okay," she whispers weakly as I help her to her feet. However, she's firm on her feet the moment she stands and quickly begins cleaning up her are and gathering her things with a single-mindedness only Bella can pull off in moments like this.

"Is there anything you need to take with you from any of this?" I ask as I help her put things in order. So focused on her task, Bella barely manages a nod and briefly pauses as another flash brightens the room, but quickly tries to move on while trembling slightly. Everything finally put away, I motion for her to lead our way out the door and she nods, immediately heading toward the door. In case she might stumble, I follow close behind and straighten up chairs we momentarily stumble on in our hast to get out.

"Jasper," Bella mumbles as we step into the hallway and abruptly comes to a halt, making me stumble into her.

"Wow!" Grabbing onto Bella's hips, I steady us and quickly let go. "What's wrong Bella?" I ask in a hushed whisper, fleetingly wondering why I even bother as thunder echoes through the halls.

"I'm scared," she answers, glancing over her shoulder at me and looking sheepish. "Hold my hand?"

"Of course." My heart jackhammering at the prospect of holding Bella's hand, I can do little but agree to her appealing request. "Anything for you."

"Take me home, Jasper." Bella holds out her hand behind her and, without hesitating, I hold her small hand in mine, feeling her warmth spreading through my limbs, cold with numb fear. For a second, I have a flash of two younger versions of ourselves of about eleven and fourteen years of age, holding hands and running as I purposefully lead Bella away from the site of a horrible car crash...

Shaking my head and my memories away, I walk astride a frozen Bella and then continue past her, still holding her hand, assuming the leading role once again and dragging her with me. Without resistance, Bella follows quietly behind, her hand clutching tightly to mine as she entwines our fingers together. The sounds of our shuffling feet and the storm still raging outside are the only sounds that disturb the otherwise comfortable quite as we attempt to make our way home. Not to mention, the roaring of rushing blood in my ears.

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A/N: There's one more chapter to go and then this story will come to an end. Thank you for reading. (And, hopefully, reviewing!)

Next time, I will be touching upon the reason behind Bella's fear and how/why she has it.