Authors note:
I've kind of gotten my groove back for writing. I'm going to face the fact that I'll never be to do proper chapter releases but I'm going to try so it's more than like three a year... Also I just skipped the Harrowing because I would have just done it word for word and I didn't really feel like doing that.
Bioware owns all charac ters
Sierra woke. Fear ripped through her entire body as she jerked herself off her bed tumbling to the floor. "Sierra!"
She pushed the body away from her and covered her head. "No you can't have me! I won't let you!"
"Sierra please, it's me Jowan!" She felt a hand timidly place itself on her back, rubbing in a comforting circle.
Her breathing subsided as reality began to make its way back to her. She looked up and around. She was in the familiar place of the dorms. "How-" She muttered to herself before stopping, remembering everything that had happened in what had been only hours before. The demon... what had it meant by true tests never end? What did that mean? She had impressed it. She now felt that that was not a thing of pride but now something that should be feared. She looked up at Jowan who had a worried furrowed look on his face and she gave him a smile, hiding the uneasiness that sat within her. "Ah Jowan yes I believe we've met before."
He rolled his eyes and helped her onto her feet. "That was actually terrifying don't do that again." She shrugged in response. She figured since she wasn't dead that is seemed like she wouldn't have to. He smacked her lightly on the shoulder. "Now come on, spill it. You went for your Harrowing didn't you?"
She shifted slightly as he looked at her. She wasn't exactly a follower of all the rules but this was the one thing she felt like she should actually obey. "I dunno Jowan, they really emphasized that I should not speak a word to anyone about what happened in there. Besides I never told you what happened all those years ago I don't want to break my record now."
He tugged on her shirt. "Aw comeon pleaaassseee."
She sighed. "Fine," and lowered her voice. "Alright so you know how they make you go to the top floor? Well there they have this pedestal and you go to the fade through it."
He frowned. "Is that it?"
Her mind flashed to the growing demon, laughing as if he were going to swallow her whole. "Yeah that's it." She smiled.
His frown hardened and looked as if he were going to protest but Sierra gave him a deadly glare and he stopped the frown. "Ah well then, it's not like it matters anyway. They'll never let me go for my Harrowing."
She waved him off. "What? Don't be silly of course they're going to make you go through the Harrowing."
"I don't think so. I've been here longer than you have and look you're already a mage! At eighteen!" He said his voice rising slightly.
She quickly shushed him and pulled him closer. "Listen to me! You will go for your Harrowing when you are ready. I feel completely comfortable around magic, I've seen you, you aren't. When you find that comfort, it will be your turn." She emphasized. She knew something was going on with Jowan as he had not totally been himself recently but that didn't excuse himself to make such remarks.
He huffed obviously wanting to argue more but decidedly dropped the subject. "Fine, whatever." He made the motion to move away but quickly turned. "Oh yeah Irving wanted to speak with you. It's probably to congratulate you on dying or whatever it is you actually do in the fade." He finished and walked off, leaving Sierra frowning.
"And what crawled up his ass today?" She shook her head and walked off listening to the conversations around. Not to her surprise the most popular topic of conversation was about her. How she had competed the fastest than anyone else had in a long while. Or how she had somehow cheated her way into passing. "True tests never end. More like tests of patience end quickly." She muttered to herself before she let out a yelp as she was pulled into an empty room. She swiftly smacked the well known body that had her pushed up against the wall. "You ass! You almost gave me a heart attack!"
Alistair let out a deep warm laugh that sent tingles down her spine. "I'm sorry, it's just that I wanted to speak to you." He said smiling warmly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked up quizically at him; He was acting so strange. First his grip on her was a sort of desperate that she had never seen on his face. Second, he looked at her like he hadn't seen her in years or as if she had miraculously come back from the dead. "I love you."
Woah. Woah. Woah. When had love entered the equation? "L-love" She stammered out.
He nodded his head. "Love. I realized it as I watched your body hit the ground and feared that history would repeat itself."
Histo- oh. Oh. "Oh." Was all she had let out, her mind racing as the word "love" seemed to flash itself over and over in her head. Love was a commitment. A big commitment. Not something that someone could say as casually as the man in front of her had done so. "Are you... sure?"
"Are you sure?" He repeated and let go of her. She felt her heart swell with fear as he backed away from her. "Are you sure?" He said again and she covered her mouth.
"Alis-"
"No. No." He said raising a hand and laughing shortly, the laugh ripping through her. "You don't get to do things like this, at least not to me."
She shook her head. "What do you want me to tell you Alistair? That the thought of living without you is unbearable and that I can't live without you? That I love you? We've known each other for three days. You don't get to pull that out so fast not on me. You should have heard all the stories by now right? Of how much of a slut I am?" She didn't know where this was coming from, why she was trying to hurt him. She wanted to say I love you too. She wanted to start this conversation over.
"You know what Sierra yeah I have!" He said raising his voice but not so loud that he would be heard. "I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for someone as talented and beautiful as you. A lot of the templars recommended that if I ever get the chance that I should definitely find a nice corner for you to suck my dick in." She stepped back as if the words had actually smacked themselves against her face. His face fell, regret instantly plastered all over it. "No, I didn- please. I didn't want to say that." He stepped forward and she stepped back. "Nononono Sierra please. I am so sorry. You're not a slut or a whore or whatever else people label you as. Please I am so sorry." He stepped forward and her back until she hit a wall and he placed his arms on the sides of her head.
She looked away from him. She didn't know what to say. Those things he had said... They were not like him at all. She knew him, even if had been only for three days. She looked up at him, his eyes filling with tears. "Why?" She asked quietly. "Why did you say those things if they weren't true? At least not true for you."
"I'm so scared." He let out instantly after she asked. "I'm scared because of these feelings that I have for you are so strong and I can't control how I feel about you. I'm afraid that I'll lose you."
She reached a hand up to his face. "Alistair... you're never going to lose me if you just be yourself. Whatever it is that made you act like that, it's over. I'm safe and I'm not going anywhere."
There was a long silence as he pushed his forehead onto hers. "It was me." He whispered breaking the silence.
"What?"
Alistair's mind and heart was racing what had he done? Where did those malicious words come from? He didn't want to say any of that to her. Never to her. He had begged for her forgiveness and she had given it and now there was a silence between them as she stared at him. There was... guilt? Eating away at him, gnawing at every corner of his mind. "It was me."
She looked up at him in confusion. "What?"
She didn't know... She didn't know that it would have been him to cut through her if she had changed. "I- I was chosen to strike you down if you did not go through your Harrowing in the desired fashion." He finally spat out after a moment of her staring at him.
He looked into her face as he relayed the information. Her face looked as if she had had this problem and she suddenly managed to fix it. "Oh Alistair." She said finally, wrapping her arms around him. She was being entirely too kind to him for the information that he had given her. She could sense his discomfort and self loathing that seeped from him. "No, now you listen here. I know that if you had to kill me that it would had been for a very very good cause. You and I both know what happens when someone fails their Harrowing. If I had failed you would have been doing me a great service. You would have made sure I never hurt anyone like that woman did on that night five years ago."
Alistair looked away, his heart throbbing at the words exiting her mouth. She was... glad that it would have been him. "I would never have been able to forgive myself." He said putting his forehead to hers. She wrapped her arms tighter. "I would have never been able to love another soul again. Do you know what that would have done to me? How much killing you would have killed me?" The fear was obvious in his voice but he didn't try to hide it, not now.
"Shh it's alright though. You don't have to worry about any of that. I'm here, I'm safe, I'm okay but more importantly I'm with you. Right now. I'm standing in front of you and loving most of every minute of it. That bit in the middle wasn't so charming." She said with a playful tone. Alistair laughed.
Of course she would take any chance to lighten the mood that's who she was. He took in a deep breath. "Well alright. I love you Sierra. You don't have to say it back but you must know that I really do love you. I don't even care that it's only been three days. Haven't you heard of love at first sight?" He asked laughing as she pushed him away playfully.
"Perhaps," She answered laughing. "But right now it doesn't matter because I am going to be scolded harshly because Irving wanted to see me as soon as I wake up. Which was like fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh right!" He exclaimed. "Greagoire wanted to speak to me as well. Maker I'm terrible at this whole reporting in to my superiour officer thing. He's with Irving right now so I may as well accompany you."
She rose a suspicious brow from his request. "Together? Are you sure that that's wise...?"
He laughed. "We're going to be walking together, not making out while making our way to his office. Come on." He said motioning to the door. She sighed heavily and walked cautiously out the door, motioning for him to follow. He laughed and walked out and started his way for the library. He heard a laugh behind him and then out of the corner of his eye he caught her flowing hair, How he wished he had taken a better look at it a little while ago but he hadn't quite said anything appropriate enough for that to be acceptable. What had come over him? It was like he had been taken over by this insane jerk and then just spewed every hurtful thing at her that he could think of...
"Alistair!" He looked up, being pulled from his thoughts to see Cullen approaching him with a wave.
He let a big smile cross his face as he returned his wave. He liked Cullen, truly, the man was kind, smart. As he was about to speak he saw Cullen's eyes flitter to the person next to him and a small blush crossed his face. Ah. That was a problem. He walked up and slapped him hard on the shoulder. "Cullen! How've you been? Have we had any complaints?"
He shook his head no, eyes flicking to Sierra who had stopped to listen to the conversation. She must have noticed it because she gave him a small smile. Jealousy quickly bubbled up inside him as he attempted to shove it aside. "Not so far. Don't you think it's odd that he put us in charge of mage complaints? I wasn't even aware that that was a position."
Sierra laughed and placed an elegant hand gently on Cullen's shoulder. "It seems I may have had something to do with this new position." Alistair and Cullen both cocked their heads in her direction and she hid a giggle behind her unoccupied hand. "I told Greagoire to give up trying to tell me what to do and then he proceeded to ask who I would listen to and naturally I replied Irving. So he then asked what templars would I think about listening to and then I said well I listen to Cullen sixty-five percent of the time. I guess he took it as a thing everyone would go by." She stopped and looked briefly away and then turned her head back to the two of them. "It seems as if I've already gotten myself in trouble. Excuse me." She said and let her hand slip off of Cullen.
He watched her with narrow eyes as she walked away. That whole thing with Cullen... what was that? "Hey do you two have a thing?" He blurted out.
"Wh-what?" Cullen stammered. "Do we- no absolutely not. That would be highly inappropriate. It's my job to watch over the mages not... fornicate with them." He paused for a moment. "Not that I don't think about it. We all have our weaknesses, right?" He said with a laugh and shoved Alistair's shoulder playfully with his own.
"Haha that we do..." He muttered to himself as he watched the empty space that had held the woman that he had not only dreamed of but had actually managed to love.
She quickened her pace to Irving's office as she heard raised voices and really wanted to know what was going on and didn't want to be left out of the loop. Not again. She quietly opened his door hoping to not be noticed and it seems like she would have not been if it weren't for the strange man with the nicely groomed beard. "Ah it seems we have a visitor."
She squinted at him, he however, seemed not to notice and Greagoir huffed. "We will continue this conversation later."
Irving waved him off as he left the room. "Ah Sierra, come. Duncan this was the young lady I was telling you about."
She cocked her head at her mentor as she extended a hand. He took and shook it firmly. "Sierra it is a pleasure to finally meet you."
She put on a fake smile, suddenly becoming very uncomfortable of current situation. "Um it is good to meet you too, although I've heard nothing of your visit... Duncan, was it?"
He nodded confirmation while Irving continued on. "Yes Duncan is with the Grey Wardens."
Sierra raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Are the Wardens recruiting? If you're here then that must mean that either you're going to the source of the darkspawn problem or..." She stopped realization setting in. "Or the problem is coming to you... say there wouldn't happen to be the makings of a Blight would there?"
Duncan raised his eyebrows and looked over to Irving who had a small smile on his face. "Well you did say that she was a sharp one. Yes the King is gathering as many allies as he can to see if we can end this before it starts."
She nodded her head. "Yeah that seems like the best course of action that you could take right now. Have you come to get some mages to fight for the kings armies?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well it's the only thing that would send Greagoire flying off the handle "unleashed mages" doesn't that sound like a problem?" She said her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"That's quite enough." Irving cut in. "I called you here to congratulate you on becoming a full mage. Here is your staff and new robes." He handed over the robes and the staff, the staff was boring not at all beautiful like the one she had acquired in the Fade but the robes... the robes were an issue.
"Irving..." She said cautiously.
"Sierra..." His tone matching her instantly.
"You do realize that these are the most hideously coloured robes that I have ever seen."
He snorted. "You've never complained about those robes before."
"Yes well, I've never had to wear them before." She replied shortly, earning a laugh from the two men. "Fine yeah laaaugh it up. It's not like I have much to worry about right?"
Irving shook his head. "I still have much to teach you. But anyway your phylactery has been sent off to Denerim for safe keeping."
She snorted. "Ah I think you read that wrong somewhere, I think you meant my leash."
Duncan looked at the two in confusion. "I'm sorry but what is this 'phylactery'?"
Irving gave Sierra a stern look before explaining. "Every mage that enters the Circle get a vial of blood drawn to be used as a tracking device if a mage should ever go... awry."
Sierra snorted and Duncan frowned. "You mean it's to hunt them down if they ever try to escape?"
Irving shifted and Sierra cut in. "Yes it's exactly that. There is no other way to interpret that. Leash."
Irving sighed. "Maleificarum can become very dangerous. Not many mages that run are executed on the spot, but please such topic is not well for this day. You are now an official member of the Circle."
Sierra despite herself smiled. She admittedly had waited quite a long time to hear those words. "Thank you, it is an honour."
Irving smiled at her finally not mouthing off at her. "Well I have work to do. Duncan would you mind doing this at another time then?"
"Of course not."
"Excellent, Sierra would you mind accompanying Dunacn back to his room?"
"Does Duncan not know where his room is?" She asked.
"Do not get witty with me Sierra I am running out of patience."
"Alright alright, but only because you asked." She beckoned to Duncan to follow her out of the room and to his own where she would probably speak a few words with the man.