A/N: So...this little drabble has been sitting on my computer, complete, for a good two months. And to add insult to injury, I think it's been more than a year since I even updated this work. My bad guys. Things are busy in my neighborhood. That and I'm on vacation from college. For me, that means becoming a lazy bum for a good month before even making an attempt to be productive, but I'm rambling. Enjoy the new chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara. If I did, X2 Shou would not have ended on a cliffhanger. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you probably haven't seen the second season of Durarara yet. What are you waiting for? Go watch it. It is AWESOME!)
Chapter 4
A Change of Heart
The week after the burned breakfast incident had been relatively normal. The Awakusu had started to press Izaya on some time sensitive information in which the sly Intel broker calmly responded to the threats with casual promises he wouldn't keep before forcing Namie into a more rigid work schedule. Throughout most of that week, they fell into a quiet, systematic routine in which Namie filed away information and Izaya conducted phone calls to members of various Yakuza groups.
However, in the latter half of the week, Namie started to notice a shift in Izaya's habits. As the week drove to a close, he started coming back to the apartment later and later, and when he arrived he was always out of breath, like he had just run a marathon. Namie took a bit of pleasure out of seeing him so winded after all the torture he had put her through during the course of her stay. It was nice to know that there were people capable of torturing him too. Besides, the next day he would always revert to his usual, unbearable self. There was no reason to worry and even if there were, Namie wasn't going to be the one to feel that emotion. She hated Izaya Orihara with every fiber of her being and the day he died she would rejoice and dance on his grave before running off to murder Mika Harima so she could finally be with her Seiji.
That was her mindset when he left Saturday morning with his usual creepy grin and insults toward her mediocre cooking of which he consumed daily. He had given her the usual tasks of filing and cleaning up the apartment which she promptly did before making calling her realtor. She had saved up almost all the money needed to make a down payment for an apartment a couple blocks away. Only one more paycheck would do. One more and she could finally move out of Izaya's house of horrors. Sure, she would still have to be in his vile presence daily, but at least she would be able to go somewhere else once her tasks for the day were completed. She could sleep comfortably and not worry about her boss giving her another terrible wake up call in one of his attempts to be "romantic."
Why he bothered to try was still beyond her comprehension. He knew she loved Seiji. Nothing in the world would change how she felt about him. Of course, Namie knew that Izaya's romantic attempts were nothing more than him playing games with her. Nevertheless, she couldn't deny the miniscule pull of attraction between them. While remembering his lips on hers sent bile up her throat, she couldn't erase the fact that she had become immobile mush in his arms.
But aside from some sexual tension, Namie held no interest in the devilish informant and she was sure that he would never seriously pursue her. She hated him. He had a sick fascination for placing her in awkward and infuriating situations that preyed on her weaknesses. That was the end of it. At the first opportunity to get out, she would take it without hesitation.
After finishing her call with the realtor, the former head of Yagari Pharmaceuticals let out a yawn and shifted her gaze to the digital clock on the microwave. It was two in the afternoon. Her shoulders and limbs were a little sore from carrying large boxes of files up and down the stairs, so she opted to take a relaxing bath before making herself lunch.
While she was in the bath, the brunette heard what she assumed was Izaya entering the apartment. For a moment Namie had panicked, worrying that he would come looking for her, but instead of hearing his soft footfalls up the stairs, she heard the front door of the apartment slam.
When she came down the stairs a few minutes later wearing a white terrycloth robe and a towel around her hair, Izaya was nowhere to be found.
Namie thought it was a little odd for him to return and depart again so quickly. He didn't normally forget things, but perhaps today he had been a little scatterbrained. The lack of sleep he was getting was probably getting in the way of his brain function. Namie didn't contemplate it further. Instead she took the rest of the day to lounge around in the apartment. With a cup of coffee in hand she watched the afternoon news while eating leftovers from Russia sushi. After the news ended, she changed into a simple form fitting teal t-shirt and grey sweatpants, finished drying her hair before sweeping it up into a high ponytail, and then proceeded to skim the title's on one of Izaya's many bookshelves.
One particular volume of Celtic folklore jumped out at her. She knew it as one of the books hiding the container that protected Celty's head.
With a hesitant hand, the brunette touched the spine of the book. The legend of the Dullahan was depicted within. Izaya spoke a great deal about the legends whenever he mused about his fears of life and death. Namie had never paid particular attention to them even while noting the small hints of sadness hidden in his maroon colored eyes. She never paid attention because her hatred had been so strong.
For some reason she felt compelled to pull the book away from its place on the shelf. Then, while putting on her reading glasses she sat down on the couch and opened the book.
Hours passed as she studied the legend of the Dullahan, how in ancient times it was seen as an angel of death that could send fallen warriors to Valhalla, a sort of heaven for warriors. It was interesting and gave Namie a better understanding of why Izaya bought the head from her company and why he attempted to create a gang war between the Dollars and Yellow Scarves. He wanted Celty's head to awaken, possibly to deliver his soul from a terrible fate.
Izaya had told her all this himself months ago, but the attention she spared on him back then had been less than minimal.
She scoffed, closing her eyes. "So, he really is human like the rest of us instead of a demon like I thought. After all, only a human would worry about the state of their soul. How meaningless."
The sudden sound of the door opening shook Namie out of her thoughts. She blinked, her eyes drifting to her cell phone on the coffee table in front of her. It was almost one a.m., his latest time yet and once again he was out of breath with sweat pouring from his brow.
"Where were you today?"
His question was so soft that Namie didn't hear him. "What?"
"I said where were you today!"
Izaya had never raised his voice to her before. Actually, now that she thought about it, he had never raised his voice period.
Most women in her position would have flinched at the intensity of Izaya's question and Namie couldn't deny that there was a little voice in her head screaming at her to get up and run out the building. However, if there was one thing that dictated Namie's actions more than anything, it was her pride.
So, instead of flinching or acting on her instinct to run, Namie folded her arms in front of her chest and gave the informant one of her infamous death glares. "Excuse me?"
His maroon eyes narrowed into slits as he stared at her, clearly not amused with her display. "Namie, I asked where you were. You will answer."
"Oh, will I?" Namie asked, removing his book from her lap before rising to her feet. "Listen here, Orihara. I've tolerated a lot of bull from you, but this is crossing the line. You will not speak to me as if I am a child. I'm a grown woman. I'll come and go as I please."
For a few seconds Izaya's demeanor transformed into something reminiscent of a marble statue. The shaking in his body (which Namie had just noticed) stilled. His gaze stayed on hers, but his expression softened into a look of exhaustion. Suddenly it was as if he were wordlessly pleading with her to answer his question without making a fuss.
Namie uncrossed her arms, noting that something akin to concern was drifting into her conscious mind. "What's wrong, Orihara?"
Izaya gave no response.
The wretched feeling grew in the pit of Namie's stomach. "Izaya? Does it have something to do with the Awakusu group?"
Once again he didn't answer. His gaze drifted away to the book lying abandoned on the couch.
"I see that you took a look through my collection," he muttered, sounding somber while reading the words on the binding. "You've taken an interest in Celtic folklore now?"
"Izaya..."
Namie's sentence tapered off when he took a step forward. Involuntarily she stepped back, anticipating an attack from him, but to her surprise he stopped directly in front of her, reaching around her for the book.
"There are many religions," Izaya stated, opening the book. With lazy movements he flipped through the pages, barely skimming over the words. "Hundreds of years ago, these folktales you see here were pieces of a faith." He let out a soft chuckle. "Namie, do you know why so many humans chose to be religious?"
"Should I?"
The broker's eyes slipped closed for a moment. "It is because every human seeks salvation. Most humans want to believe that there is more to life than just our time on Earth. Death is terror because death is nothingness...eternal darkness." Blinking his eyes open, Izaya shut the book. "Humans who flock to religion seek life after death. They live in hope. I too have lived in the hope of a better life after my demise even though I have no belief in God."
Namie's brown eyes followed Izaya's movements as he strode slowly across the room. She noted that the movements were sluggish, once more giving off the appearance that he had gone through a rough day.
Placing the book back into its place he murmured, "But with so many religions...I find myself doubting that there's anything beyond this world and act accordingly. I've given no care to the precious humans damaged by my hands or what any of these sins will grant me in the end. After all, in nearly every religion, there is condemnation. The wages of sin is death."
"Izaya, what are you getting at?" Namie asked, that pesky emotion of concern worming its way into her voice. "You sound more insane than usual. What's wrong? Quit beating around the bush already."
The man just laughed, ignoring her words completely as he continued on with his train of thought. "With the legend of the Dullahan, however, there is no condemnation. A man can live any way he wishes. So long as he dies in battle, he can be part of a paradise. For a long time I thought it wouldn't matter where I ended up. As long as I could exist anywhere, that was enough. But today...today I experienced a taste of Hell."
Namie resisted the urge to walk over to him as her hand involuntarily moved to her chest, resting over the place where her heart was. The sorrow emanating from him was palpable, affecting her in a way it shouldn't have. This line of philosophical drivel was nothing new. The former head of Yagari Pharmaceuticals had heard the insane broker spout the same nonsense time and time again. Under normal circumstances, Namie wouldn't have cared if he lost himself in his whacked out emotions. In fact, on a normal day she would toss in her wide array of insults just to add salt to whatever wounds he had created in his own psyche.
However, tonight that terrible feeling of concern prompted her to do something else, something so unlike her that she instantly wanted to kick herself the moment the words slipped out of her mouth.
"Izaya, I was here all day. I didn't go anywhere."
Admitting this hadn't been part of the plan. She had hoped to make clear that she was a free woman. She could go wherever she wanted whenever she wanted and didn't need to have his permission. Doing so meant leaving him with the impression that she had gone out at some point. Needless to say, this plan of action had gone out the window.
There was a small shift within his maroon eyes. It was a subtle change, too subtle for Namie to notice.
She pressed on. "I heard you come in earlier, but I was...taking a nap."
Namie figured she would be better off lying about that small detail of her day. No need for him to have an image of her naked in his head, though from her standpoint it didn't seem like Izaya was even listening anymore. She could have told him she had stayed in to square dance with a clown and he still wouldn't have given a hint that he had heard a word.
It was a long time before Izaya spoke again, so long in fact that Namie picked up the morning's newspaper from the kitchen counter and sat back down on the couch to read through it. That tiny spec of concern could only go so far when it came to this man. He could keep whatever was going on to himself if that's what he wanted to do. It's not as if she was desperate to know or anything.
It's not as if she's angrily tapping her foot on the carpet as her eyes barely caught sight of the words printed on the thin paper, waiting for his response to anything she had said in the last few minutes. Namie Yagari would never exude such behavior.
Since the newspaper was hiding Izaya from view, she didn't notice when his gaze drifted toward her, nor did she notice him slowly pad across the room again. He stood in front of her for a good minute before she finally noticed his shadow looming over her. A small gasp slipped through her lips when she locked her gaze with his.
For the first time, she could see exactly what her crazy boss was feeling.
And she didn't like it.
She had seen many sides to this man, but not once had she ever seen him with a look of remorse on his face.
It was not a good look for him.
Without thinking she dove to her feet, ready to say something, anything to snap him out of whatever ridiculous thought had entered into his peanut sized brain. She could tolerate her boss being a complete morn. She could deal with his stupid tasks and his strange habits. She could even stomach his verbal abuses without a care. Namie Yagari was resilient enough to take anything Izaya Orihara could dish out. After all, he wasn't the only monster in this equation.
But that look on his face was too infuriating to ignore. He was pulling something with this façade. Namie was certain that he was doing this to manipulate her in some way.
The rage she felt threw her equilibrium off as she rose, causing her to trip over her feet. The newspaper slipped from her fingers while her head crashed onto his chest. All this happened before she could utter a word. In the very next instant, one of Izaya's arms folded around her waist in a protective hold. He craned his neck forward, whispering softly in her ear as he did.
"Well, it would seem that I have won a piece of your heart after all."
Namie peered up at him, fully prepared to argue, but found herself unable to as his other arm snaked around her, trapping her in a firm but gentle hold. With an small intake of breath he buried his face in her hair, taking in the scent of her shampo. "You smell nice, Namie-chan."
The cunning snake was being far too kind to be believed. "You wretched flea. Everything is perfectly fine, isn't it?"
"No, Namie, this is a very real problem" he answered, his hold tightening a bit. "We should enjoy this time Namie. We'll be parting ways soon."
This took the bitter woman by surprise. "What?"
Izaya let out a soft chuckle. "You don't want that?"
Before this moment there was nothing more that she wanted. To put Izaya out of her life for good would be a blessing. Namie had just been preparing to leave this place behind throughout the course of the week. It had been her plan to put distance between herself and this horrid creature pretending to be a man.
However, even with a new apartment, she would still see him every day. She had planned it that way. After all, it's not as if she could get work anywhere else. A change in living arragements was certainly in order, but Namie didn't have the means to quit her job just yet. Even if she did, she had doubted Izaya would have let her go easily. He would have pulled something in that usual devious way of his. More than likely he would have done something to threaten Seiji in which case Namie would have stooped to new levels of evil to protect him...even if it meant her own life.
Part of her wanted it to end that way, up in flames, with her and Izaya both dying at once.
She couldn't admit it aloud, but she knew Seiji would never love her. Even if it was a lie, he would always be obsessed with what Mika represented...the head of Celty Sturleson.
She knew he would never hold her the way Izaya was holding her now. As much as she despised being in this man's company, being held like this was...nice.
"What's gotten into you?" he asked, a bit of his usual self returning. "You've never been so quiet. Does the thought of separation hurt you? Why Namie, I'm genuinely surprised."
Namie stayed silent. She didn't want to give him any form of satisfaction. Izaya had put on a show to manipulate her emotions, but all he had really done was force her to realize that there was a small part of her that cared for his well-being if nothing else.
Did anything actually happen with the Awakusu? Was he lying? Had he told the truth? One could never be sure with Izaya Orihara. The man had many masks, none of which Namie could clearly see through.
And right now, she really didn't care what he was doing.
She just needed to make herself clear.
"Izaya Orihara, I will never love you."
His grip loosened as he pulled back from her to gaze into her eyes. The wheels were turning in his head, that much Namie could see, but she couldn't dechipher whether those wheels were turning out of curiosity or hurt. His expression betrayed nothing and he didn't reply verbally either.
With a small smirk she continued. "But from this day forward, I won't hate you either. So don't talk as if you can't escape whatever hit that's been placed on your head. You're Izaya Orihara, the most cunning and deplorable snake in all of Ikebukuro. Certainly you can outsmart the likes of those fools, right?"
The look of complete shock that crossed Izaya's features almost made Namie laugh. Once again she wished she would have been in possession of a camera phone. For occassions like this, it would have been a handy tool, but she didn't let herself get wrapped up in those thoughts for too long. There was more she needed to say.
"And if you're worried about me..." Namie trailed off, taking a moment to laugh. "No, you wouldn't do that. In the end, you would simply take out the threat aiming to eliminate your persons of interest. After all, you just need me to keep things organized, correct? Keep you entertained..."
Namie had barely finished speaking before Izaya crushed his lips to hers. For a few seconds the woman found herself in a state of shock again, but when it wore off her hands quickly molded into tight fists. She didn't kiss him back.
Anticipating this response, Izaya broke contact after a few seconds. "No, Namie-chan. You have many more uses than that." His face twisted into a feral grin upon noticing her fists shaking by her sides. "You'd really like to hit me, wouldn't you?"
Letting out a huff, Namie muttered, "Yeah, that would be a nice way to end this little exchange of ours."
With a rough tug, Izaya tilted her chin up so that their gazes would lock again, then, by slow increments he began to close the gap between them. Namie growled in frustration, but otherwise didn't make any hint that she wanted him to stop.
He laughed at her predicament. "Perhaps, but I find that ending things this way is nicer."
Namie inwardly cursed herself as Izaya's lips made contact with hers again. At first she tried to fight it, but within seconds she gave up, figuring that she might as well let him enjoy this. He'd won. For now he had gained the upper hand in their battle against one another.
She would never love him, but never again could she say she hated him.
Izaya Orihara...that slimy worm of a broker had grown on her.
A/N: I feel that this chapter is somehow a weird fluff piece for two people who are anything but fluffy...unless you include Izaya's fur-lined jacket into the mix. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the update. Hopefully it won't take me so long to update again. However, in the meantime, if you guys feel so inclined to read them, below are some story recommendations. The fist is a Durarara/Code Geass crossover I'm working on and the rest are some cool Durarara stories I've come across on the site. Thanks for reading and for supporting this work guys. Have a great day. Peace out for now! Spread the love!
Story Recommendations
Randomness At Its Best ~ By TTY7
All Lelouch wanted was a simple vacation to get away from the stress of being Zero. Unfortunately for him, he didn't count up the cost of going to the Ikebukuro District of the Tokyo Settlement where the Japanese run wild in the streets. Yeah, he's going to wish he stayed home after this craziness. NEW CHAPTERS UP!
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - [Lelouch L., OC] [C.C., Izaya O.] - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,489 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 24 - Updated: Jun 10 - Published: Jan 21, 2012 - id: 7762567
Second Chance ~By Of Healing Love
Diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, Katie Thurman decides to commit suicide. However, the 'afterlife' isn't quite what she expected; she finds herself in the Durarara! universe as Kamichika Rio, en-route to meet with Izaya, her least favorite character in her least favorite anime. It's not really as bad as hell, but it's not much better, either. SI/OC. Not a bashing fic.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Izaya O., Shizuo H., Rio K., OC - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,280 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 35 - Updated: May 10 - Published: May 6 - id: 11232522
The above story has a really interesting concept. Check it out!
To Weave a Poem ~ By STupIdWiNsAGaIn
Her plans of suicide, her thoughts of guilt have all led to this one moment. It's when he holds the lighter in his hand that she has to decide... OCXIzaya.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Adventure - Izaya O. - Chapters: 24 - Words: 73,174 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 135 - Updated: Sep 11, 2012 - Published: May 31, 2010 - id: 6013890
The above story hasn't been updated in a while and I think the author is planning on revising/re-writing it. However, as it stands now, this story is super special awesome. It's a very enjoyable piece of work.