Artemis sighed in relief as he felt the vibrations stop. That had been a bumpy ride. He shifted his position and pulled himself to sit upright. Butler obviously knew nothing about this plan. If he had, he would've mangled the person who had suggested it. Artemis looked up as he heard something from the other side of the door of the van. Suddenly, the door was flung open, and he blinked in the sudden light. A fresh breeze rushed in, and he breathed in deeply before attempting to open his eyes again.

He stared expressionlessly at the warlock standing at the doorway, grinning at him.

"The ride wasn't too hard, was it, Artemis?"

"Number One... did Captain Short come up with this idea?"

"You mean, the part about tying you up and throwing you in the back of a van? Yes. How did you guess?"

Artemis sighed. "Will you please untie me, now?"

"Hello, Mud Boy."

Artemis Fowl knew that the moment would come, but he hadn't prepared himself for it, yet. An unnaturally cheerful face appeared beside the young warlock's, and Artemis smiled bemusedly at the elf clad in green clothes.

"Hello, Captain Short."

The elf pouted a bit at the formal greeting, but she cheered up immediately as she stepped inside the van.

"You really did a nice job with the ropes, Number One."

"I try." The warlock said, grinning and stepping in, too.

"Holly. Number One. I believe that it would be in your best interests to untie me now. Butler will not fail to notice any chafe marks on my skin."

Artemis didn't see their expressions, but he heard both of them kneel on the ground near him and start tugging at the ropes.

"D'Arvit! Number One, do you have a knife with you?"

"I thought you would have one!"

Artemis felt both of them freeze as a neighing laugh come from the doorway.

"I could ruin all of your lives by sending one picture to a certain bodyguard." The shaggy head of Foaly said, appearing in the doorway. That had been unexpected.

"What sort of emergency allowed L.E.P.'s best technician to come to the surface with the most powerful warlock underground and the most infamous L.E.P. captain?"

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Holly protested.

"That, my fellow genius, is a question you should be asking the new Commander."

Artemis caught the gaze of the centaur, and understood immediately. He had guessed as much. Commander Vinyaya wouldn't have left a gifted officer like Captain Short go to waste.

"I see. Congratualations, Commander Short."

"Congratulations my foot. It took me ten months to finally get through enough of my paperwork for me to ask permission to take a short flight aboveground."

Artemis laughed at the annoyed tone of his old friend.

"Arty- you laughed. You actually laughed."

He saw Holly Short come into his sphere of vision to look at him curiously.

"Will someone please just untie me, already?" Artemis sighed. "I have been through at least an hour of jostling in the dark."

Holly's face broke into a grin, and the sight almost brought a smile to Artemis's face, too. It had been too long since he had had any contact with the People.

"Want to shoot at him with this new trinket? It'll only singe a bit, I promise." Foaly said, pulling out a small gun. "It's only lethal if you miss his ropes and shoot him, instead. Loaded with bullets coated with deadly poison and all that."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Maybe."

"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Holly cried, interrupting Artemis's comeback. "Number One, you're a warlock. Do something before Butler gets here."

The warlock sighed. "It's not that simp- "

"Have you ever seen that huge, bear of a man angry? I don't think so. I did, and I've been careful to keep him on my side ever since."

"And here I was thinking that your venom might have died down because you developed a small amount of tolerance for my presence." Artemis said.

"I don't think anyone can tolerate that tone for too long. It's almost worse that Foaly's."

"Hey! Keep me out of this!" Foaly protested. "I prefer to live, so I'll let the three of you figure out how to get those ropes off until Butler gets here."

"You leave, and I will hunt you down, centaur," Holly threatened.

In the end, they managed to drag Artemis out of the van and into an open field of grass. As Artemis had stared around, they had decided to wait for Mulch to arrive. Dwarf hair could do a number on a few bits of twined rope.

Sorry! I should make it longer next time. But this will get better, I promise!

Disclaimer: I do not own these awesome characters. Sadly...