Hello, again! I will put off my laziness (I'm working on about five different stories, so it was bound to happen) and actually continue this fan fiction. Thanks for reading this!

Disclaimer: I don't own this series.

"Holly."

"Cool it, centaur. We're not using that gun."

"This might be a bad time, but did I mention that I might have used a bit of magic on the ropes?"

"What?! You could've mentioned that sooner!" Foaly exclaimed.

"But, you're right. Dwarf hair would work." Number One offered, trying to clam the centaur down.

Artemis sighed again. They were at a picnic table. In the middle of huge expanses of grass that stretched on for as far as he could see. So this is what they had planned...

"Now we just have to wait and see if Butler and Juliet arrive before that sorry excuse for a dwarf." Foaly said, looking like he was sorely tempted to bite his nails to little nubs until they arrived.

"Butler isn't that evil. You can stop worry- "

"Holly! We just kidnapped Butler's charge, threw him in the back of a van after tying him up with multiple ropes full of magic, and then dragged him across the grass. We're going to die if Butler finds out. And frankly, I had plans to live a little longer."

As the centaur cantered around the group in hysterics, Holly and No.1 had been playing cards near their young genius, but they half-jumped when they heard the new voice.

"Calm yourself, pony man. I'm here." Something that looked like a huge mess of hair wearing a jumpsuit stood under the picnic table, licking his muddy teeth clean.

"Mulch! I can't believe I'm saying this, but where have you been? Weren't you in the shuttle right behind us? We've been waiting for you!" Foaly ranted on. "Oh, wait. I just realized that I don't care. Just free the Mud Boy from those ropes!"

Mulch burped, and then sauntered out from underneath the table.

"Hi, Holly. No.1. Annoying Mud Boy."

"Mulch!" Foaly moaned.

"You need to say the magic words."

"Please!"

"What? That's not the magic word."

"Um... thank you?"

"No! It's 'I'll give you lots of gold if you do this.''"

Foaly pulled out his new gun.

"I'll shoot you with five ounces of the deadliest poison known in this world if you don't do this."

Mulch flinched. The centaur looked serious.

"Fine! Fine! Those will do," he grumbled, ambling over to Artemis. The boy looked down at him with amusement.

"What, boy? You know, I can accidentally bite your hand off."

"Yes, and then you can accidentally get torn from limb to limb by Butler." Artemis said cheerfully. Mulch glared at him and grumbled something under his breath.

"Taking advantage of me with threats...Friends? Yeah, right..." were about all Artemis could hear, but he suspected a few colorful words were also escaped the dwarf's lips.

When Artemis Fowl finally stood up, rubbing his hands, Foaly sighed in relief.

And so started another clichéd meeting between friends from the world under and above.