Jealousy
It was a bright summer day at the lake. Sunlight filtered through the whispering leaves of tall oak trees. The breeze was mild for July, offering a slight reprieve to sunburnt skin. Children tumbled down small grassy knolls as they chased bubbles and butterflies. Some of the adults and most of the older children were playing softball in the clearing with an assortment of impromptu bases. Maura leaned back against the rough bark, in the shade of a towering tree. Insects buzzed and clicked around her, randomly landing on her fair skin. She swatted them away but only with vague intent. Her green eyes narrowed behind black sunglasses as she spied Jane diving for a ball hit between third and second. The detective, lithe and athletic, caught the ball midair amid a shower of admiration. A faint smile curved Maura's lips but quickly vanished when a tall blonde jogged up to Jane and placed a hand down the brunette's back.
Kristin Loomis was beautiful, the classic west coast blonde with sky blue eyes. She was a new detective assigned to Vice who loved sports and drinking beer and many of the things Jane was interested in. It galled Maura. Watching her. With Jane. Something hot knotted in her stomach. Maura abruptly turned her face away when Kristin leaned in close. Jane didn't back away. For all the world, the two women appeared to have intimate knowledge of one another for their bodies naturally gravitated toward the other's. The heat in Maura's belly intensified, becoming a queasy gnarl.
"Hey, Maura, here you go." Frankie announced, proudly displaying a chilled bottle of wine.
Without the slightest hesitation, Maura plucked it from his grasp and held her other hand out.
Reluctantly, because he knew there was a reason behind the medical examiner's odd behavior, Frankie furnished the corkscrew. His dark brows, so like Jane's, slashed over his eyes as he looked at her.
"What?" Maura snapped and was immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, Frankie. I guess it's the heat."
He smiled like his sister, too, as he sat down next to her.
Maura busied herself with opening the wine bottle. Frankie produced a red plastic cup and handed it to her. His gaze seemed to be directed to the makeshift softball field.
"So, who's winning?"
She didn't answer right away, preferring to drink a large margin of fortifying wine first. "I wouldn't know."
Frankie grunted, then filled his own cup, making a face as the white wine hit his tongue. "I shoulda brought a beer over."
After a few minutes of silence, Maura ventured, a bit diffidently, "Kristen Loomis is very pretty."
"Yeah she is." Frankie agreed, watching his sister's best friend in a sideways glance. "She and Jane seem to be hitting it off, huh?"
Maura downed some more wine. It soothed the sawdust feeling in her throat. And it refreshed her taste buds. And it gave her a reason not to voice the sudden anger straining for release. When Frankie looked at her patiently, Maura swished the wine in her mouth then swallowed. "Yes."
"Ma told me she's coming to dinner tomorrow."
Everything inside her went white and still. The heaviness in her chest pressed down harder, exhausting her breath. More wine went down her throat.
"You need another bottle or what?" he joked, eyeing her with a mixture of kindness and concern.
"Yes, thank you, that would be lovely." She smiled at Frankie, pasting her best one on but knowing it wasn't enough to fool him.
Those eyes, so like Jane's, gazed into hers. Maura broke the contact and accidentally looked toward the field. Evidently the game was over. Kristen had her arm around Jane's shoulders, hugging her close.
"Are you going to get that wine, Frankie?" The words slipped past her lips like something bitter or sour. She turned away, yet again, and focused on the man scrambling up beside her.
"Not a problem. I'll be right back."
Maura's jaws ached. At any minute she was convinced the volcanic vomit would plot a course from her stomach to her mouth. For the first time in her life, she could not lay reason with words to explain her mood. Many explanations arose but none adequately fit. Maura shifted her body, curling a leg under her. Absently she waved away a small swarm of gnats, lost in her thoughts. Minutes passed, unheralded. When a shadow cast itself over her, Maura automatically looked up, assuming Frankie had arrived with the wine. Of course it wasn't him. A little askew, the medical examiner went to pour another glass only to find the bottle was empty. Shit.
"Hey, Maur."
"Hello, Jane." Maura pushed her sunglasses back into her hair.
"You remember Kristen?" Smiling Jane motioned toward the blonde, the dimple in her cheek deepening.
There were so many things Maura wanted to say. Each one clawed up her throat only to hit the back of her clenched teeth. She knew her smile was forced and her words trapped. Maura yearned to state clearly and concisely what was on her mind but nothing pragmatic came forth. A torrent jumble of feelings drowned her speech. Glancing into Jane's eyes, she saw the burgeoning concern in their brown depths. Panic began to nibble away at Maura.
She blurted, "Yes, yes, Kristen, hi." Maura smiled idiotically through the awkwardness. She stood, too rapidly, and dizziness assailed her.
Jane's hand shot out, the warm palm sliding against the medical examiner's arm, making Maura forget to breath. She felt it, couldn't help but feel it, that frisson of excitement along her skin. Whatever had been tight in Maura surrendered to the heat of Jane's innocent touch. Her body imperceptibly swayed closer to Jane's.
"Are you okay, Maur?" Jane asked then looked at the empty wine bottle on the ground. "Did you drink it all by yourself?" Her tone wasn't exactly disproving.
Maura straightened her spine and put more distance between them. "It's an excellent vintage." Jane swooped down and picked it up, then rolled her eyes. "2013. Jesus, Maur, it has a twist off cap!"
"Oh, Jane, don't be such a snob." Kristen cooed, her hand once again finding its way on a part of Jane's body. "Obviously Maura enjoyed it."
Maura tore her eyes away, tried to push down the roll of anger demanding to escape. The feelings converging upon her were alien and overwhelming. She felt like a fool but didn't know why. She especially longed to snatch Kristen's hand off of Jane's waist. A pain, mournful and keen, invaded her heart. There was so much yearning inside of her, Maura felt the tears prick her eyes.
"Hey!" Frankie said by way of greeting and thrust the new bottle of wine into Maura's hands. "Here yah go, Maur."
"I think I should take you home." Jane announced evenly, disengaging herself from Kristen's clasp.
Without protest, Maura allowed her best friend to take the bottle away.
"Kristen, I'll hit you up later, okay?"
The pain lanced her breastplate, its tip nicking her heart. Maura gave up, could no longer fight all that was inside her demanding to be set free. Kristen looked as if she wanted to protest.
Unable to withstand it any longer, Maura snapped, "You can leave, Kristen."
It was hard to tell, at first, who was the most shocked by the medical examiner's rude outburst. Maura clamped a belated hand over her mouth. Frankie muffled a laugh. Kristen frowned, looking every inch the injured party. As for Jane…she instantly recovered.
"I'm sorry, Kristen, she's—"
"Absolutely not sorry." Maura finished, hard-edged and stubborn. "Just go." Green eyes crackled with imperial command.
"Maura, I'm pretty sure you don't—"
"Kristen, you're probably a very nice person but…right now….it's between Jane and I."
Jane rasped, "What's the matter with you, Maura?"
There was a line and Maura needed to choose her side. Cheeks aflame with the boldness of her choice, she didn't consider the consequences, only knew she had to answer. She closed the distance between them, steadily, neither requesting nor demanding. Simply, lightly her lips brushed against Jane's. She pulled back a little, green eyes locked with brown and whispered, "I'm jealous."