Mayor Royale
Part 4: Debate and Switch!

A Kutlass Piece of Work

Disclaimer: Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron is © Hanna-Barbera

Note: This chapter is Rated K+ for some drug/alcohol references. (Though, admittedly, I have no idea what the drug equivalence of katnip in the SK-verse might actually be)

"This is Ann Gora, Katseye News, in the middle of our live 16-hour broadcast special. Our coverage today has been exclusively centered on the highly anticipated debate between incumbent Mayor Manx and his challenger, Commander Ulysses Feral. My colleague Tab Mouser joins me at our booth inside town hall."

"Thanks Ann! It's great to be here in what is sure to be a landmark chapter in the history of Megakat City. Tonight, the town hall is bursting at the seams, as record crowds have surged into the auditorium where the debate will take place. The masses have even spilled over into the streets outside. Several roads have been blocked off downtown to accommodate the growing numbers."

The camera turned back to Ann. "We have just under an hour left until the main event, where yours truly will officiate the debate. While I take off to powder my nose. re-glue my earrings, and down some liquid courage, let's switch over to our reporter on the street, Felix Yarnsby. Felix?"

The camera switched to a young gray and white tom, in a suit that looked a little too big for him. He was standing outside amongst the crowded street, clinging to a lamppost as if for dear life. "Thanks Ann! I'm live on the street outside town hall."

Ann rolled her eyes. "Yes, I *just* said that. Rookie..."

The camera switched back to Felix outside. "Many katizens we spoke to are excited about tonight and feel as though this is the first real competitor Mayor Manx has ever faced. Others say they are only here for the free pens and drink cozies, after the Megakat Maulers football game ended just moments ago across the street."

A pre-recorded segment of interviews began to play, featuring a colorful variety of katizens on the streets.

"I'm behind Mayor Manx all the way, Felix. My grandfather voted for a Manx, my father voted for a Manx, and I'm voting for a Manx. When we run out of Manx's, I'll stop voting."

"I've always vowed to support anyone other than Manx since I first became a registered voter, which was last night. I'm here to fight the establishment! Feral for Mayor! Whoo!"

"To be honest, Felix, I'm still undecided. That's why I'm especially interested to hear each candidate speak tonight. I want them to repeat their same talking points, over and over, with lots of arbitrary facts, statistics, and polls thrown at me. In the end, though, whoever comes across as the most visually appealing will be who wins my vote."

"What's a Manx? Just tell me whether the Maulers lost, bro."

The camera cut back to a straight-faced Felix. "And those were the only intelligible interviews that we were able to get. Tab, back to you."

"Yeah, baby, I'm free later… you want to get some sushi and mani-pedis? Okay, gotta' go, I'm back on-air." Tab quickly put down his phone, and cleared his throat, "Uh, thank you Felix. That was shorter than expected. We'll be back after these messages. Stay tuned."

Town Hall – Inside the Auditorium

"Here are your talking points, Mayor. Remember, this is your home court. When it comes to vague promises and double-talk, no one does it better than you. Stick with what you know, and question the validity of anything you don't know."

"Relax, Call-ay, this isn't my first equestrian competition."

"You mean, 'rodeo?' This isn't your first ro-"

"Whatever it is, it isn't my first!" Manx patted his hair, and adjusted his tie – likely for the hundredth time that evening, "I'm perfectly at ease!"

On the other side of the room, Steele was prepping Feral in the final moments before the debate.

"Remember the strategy we laid out, Commander. Give long, obscure answers to any question. Though it goes against your nature, you must not be direct."

"I hate wordiness, but if I must, I'll do it!" Feral was sitting on a stool in the corner, bare-chested, with boxing gloves on. A towel was draped over his shoulders.

"Good! And don't forget to talk beyond your allotted time. You need to interrupt Manx as much as possible. Doesn't really matter what you say, just assert yourself and butt right in."

"Right!" Feral pounded his boxing gloves together.

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

"I can't *hear* you, Commander."

"I'm ready, son! I'm ready!" Feral jumped up from his stool, foaming at the mouth.

"Okay, chill. Someone find his suit and tie and get them on him! … Where did you even find those boxing gloves?"

Town Hall – The Debate Begins

The town hall auditorium was filled to its max capacity. There were supporters from both parties holding up signs, throwing buttons at each other, and chanting various slogans. Reporters from every mainstream media outlet lined the room, waiting to capture that iconic first meeting of the two power-houses. On-stage, Ann Gora was set up at a small officiating table. She had a pile of flashcards in front of her, and a jug of questionable content to the side of her. She hiccupped loudly, before turning on the mic.

"Ladies and Gentlekats, please welcome to the stage incumbent Mayor Manx, and his challenger, Commander Feral."

The two candidates came out on stage to roaring applause. Manx smiled broadly and waved at the crowd, while Feral offered a small smile and sharp salute. The two met in the middle and shook hands, still smiling towards the crowd.

Ann continued speaking into the mic. "Though both of these candidates mean business, you can see from their handshake the mutual respect and admiration they hold for one another."

"Feral, I'm going to twist your words and hang you with them," Manx murmured under his breath, still grinning.

"I'm going to soil your reputation so badly, even Ms. Briggs won't want to change your diaper," Feral muttered with a smile plastered on his face. "You'll be remembered as the Brown Manx."

The Mayor gulped, shaken by the brazen response. Even Feral's manner of trash talk was strangely new and fresh. The two separated and took their place behind their individual podiums. As the roar of the crowd began to settle, Ann picked up a green visor from under her booth, and secured it over her forehead. She then proceeded to shuffle the flashcards in front of her like a Vegas pro.

"Alright, boys, here's the name of the game. I ask the questions, and you have two minutes to respond. Your opponent then has one minute for rebuttal. Tonight's debate questions have been randomly selected from our station's online Flitter feed. I don't want no sass, no crass, and no kissing… babies."

As Ann rattled off the rules, the flash cards moved like poetry in her skilled hands. She cut them, fanned them out on the table, flipped them from one hand to the other, and finally set them back down in front of her. There was a smattering of applause from the crowd at the display.

"First question will go to the incumbent, Mayor Manx." Ann picked up the first flashcard with much to-do, "Should the city do more to utilize renewable energy versus tapping natural resources?"

Manx smiled confidently. "An excellent question, Ann. I've always been a kat of profound deference towards our beautiful planet and its natural resources. I believe there is a sensible balance to be struck between utilizing the natural resources we've been given, as well as pioneering new strategies for renewable energy. In the past 20 years, I've funded several programs towards this end, and will continue to support them. *cough*Butwe'restillgonnadrill*cough*."

Ann turned to Feral. "Commander, your response."

"Thank you Ann. First, I'd like to point out that the only renewable energy program the Mayor has green-lighted involved solar powered golf carts."

The crowd laughed. Manx turned red.

"We have too much energy, as it is, Ms. Gora! The fact of the matter is, we could all do with a lot less. When the Swat Kats blew up that giant oil-sucking worm off the coast, it opened my eyes to the cost of our massive quantities of energy consumption. We should return to simpler times. We should work only when there's daylight, eat only what we can kill with our bare hands and cook over a fire, instead of what comes out of a plastic tray in the microwave. As your mayor, I vow to limit our energy consumption greatly, returning us to a simpler age and a smaller carbon footprint."

There was an uneasy silence among the crowd. Manx did a pump-fist behind his podium.

"Dude, that is straight-up extreme. … Extremely righteous!"

"I've never seen a candidate so passionate about conservation."

"I've never gotten to kill my own food before!"

The crowd burst into loud applause. Manx's jaw hit the floor.

Ann rolled her eyes, murmuring, "There will be a snow day on Anakata Island before *anyone* cuts off the electricity to this she-kat's hairdryer. That's all I'm saying. Next question, this one for the Commander. How will you handle illegal aliens?"

"I'll blast them out of the sky! They have no business flying into our airspace, sucking up all our water, and threatening our very existence!"

More applause from the crowd. Ann turned to Manx. "Your response?"

"I, er, uh, would have interpreted the question a little differently, Ms. Gora," Manx loosened his tie, and took a drink of water. "But, unlike the Commander in that particular scenario, I would not risk our brave katizens lives. Nor would I chance a confrontation with an alien species we know nothing about. That's why I've recently proposed the 'Mega Dome' project. You see, the 'Mega Dome' would seal us all inside an impenetrable dome, by which we could protect ourselves if peaceful negotiations fell through with the aliens."

Feral scoffed at the Mayor's response. "If you seal off the city under a dome, what's to stop the aliens from taking our water supply? Are you planning to seal up the entire ocean in a giant ziploc bag?"

Jeers and snickers heckled Manx from the crowd. "Uh, no, I-I would… call in the S-Swat Kats, of course!"

"Bah!" Feral huffed, "Typical Manx weakness. Putting the lives of our katizens in the hands of two unknown vigilantes. For all we know, *they* could be aliens!"

A gasp emanated from the crowd.

"Okay, before this exchange gets any more ridiculous, let's move on." Ann pulled up the next question, "Would you legalize katnip?"

"Absolutely not!" Feral barked. "The letter of the law is what the Enforcers stand for and what I stand for. I'll throw anyone I find using or dealing katnip into jail."

Some boos came from the crowd. Manx's ears perked, sensing an opportunity. Ann tapped her fingers. "It wasn't your turn, Commander. But whatever - Mayor Manx, your response?"

"Mm-yes, thank you Ann," Manx purred, grabbing his lapels confidently, "I think my challenger is a bit over-zealous with this whole "law and order" business. Yes, we want to encourage civil obedience and the safety of our katizens. But when it comes right down to it, wouldn't we rather be a cool, hip kind of city with lots of tax revenue to spend on pet projects? Or do we want to throw all of our tax-payers into the slammer? Why not investigate the income that could be reaped from exploring this potential new legalization? Shall we raise taxes on our hard-working families, or would we rather tax the 'nipheads sprawled on the couch munching Furitos?"

Someone in the crowd raised their hand. "Uh, do we have to raise taxes on anyone?"

Manx glowered down at the kat, and clapped his hands together quickly. "Security!" Two hulking body-guards suddenly appeared behind the kat in the crowd. Manx cleared his throat, "So as I was saying, I'm open to new ideas, Ms. Gora, unlike my challenger."

There was a smattering of applause. Feral growled, squinting out at the crowd. He pulled out a walkie-talkie from his inside pocket.

"Sargent, take note of those hippies who are clapping, and round them up after the debate. This will be the easiest bust of the night."

His radio crackled at the Sargent's response, "Roger that, sir."

Ann hiccuped loudly, drawing the room's attention back to her. "I'm afraid we only have time for one more queshtion, and I guessh it might ash well go to you, Commander. The queshtion ish – how do you feel about tea parties?"

"Tea parties are for little girls!" The crowd gasped at Feral's bold statement.

"I, for one, support little girls!" Manx interjected, pounding his fist on the podium, "My opponent is clearly sexist! Hate him, she-kats of Megakat City! Hate and spite him for trying to keep you down!"

She-kats in the room, including Ann, began loudly booing the Commander. Feral looked flabbergasted, unsure what he had said to deserve this feminine onslaught.

"I'm not sexist! The third-highest ranking officer in the Enforcers is a she-kat, and she makes just as much as our male janitors!"

"Bah!" Manx challenged, "Everyone knows Lt. Felina Feral is your niece. That's the only reason she got the position!"

Ann shook her head. "You realize what you both are saying is-"

"I have a long, proud track-record of she-kat empowerment," Manx pointed to Callie off-stage, "My very own Deputy Mayor is a she-kat, you know?"

Callie leaned over to a nearby intern. "He doesn't realize it, but the city council is paying me twice his salary. That's the only reason I put up with this."

Ann blew an air-horn, which shrilled over the ruckus, pulling everyone's attention back to her. "We will now move to our final remarksh, and gentlemen, keep it shnappy. Commander Feral, we'll begin with you."

"Citizens of Megakat City, take ear. We are a proud, resilient city. We've faced unspeakable odds and persevered because of our strength, resolve, and guns. Lots and lots of guns! But I say, there are things we can do better! Let me be the tough, no-nonsense leader you deserve. I promise you I will cut government waste, cut energy consumption, and cut my hair every other Tuesday. Mayor Manx has had a good run, but he's tired, flabby, and balding. It's time for someone new to ascend the throne – er, carry the mantle. And that someone, is me!"

Applause, cheers, and some inexplicable mooing came from the crowd. Ann turned to Manx. "Mayor, your final remarksh?"

"Mm-yes, I wish to take a moment to thank Commander Feral. Thank him for his exemplary service to our city and its good katfolk over the years. You do such a fine job as commander, perhaps you might reconsider -"

"Not a chance."

Manx huffed. "Under my administration, we've seen Megakat City flourish in science, technology, business, and the arts. Under my watch, Megakat City has seen super villains, sure, but it's also seen super expansion! Tourists are flocking to our city and the outlying Anakata Island in greater numbers than ever. If my leadership is so "weak," then why do the masses keep coming? You know why? Because we have great golfing! We also have great opportunities in business, education, and re-construction. I'm Manx, and I approve of this message."

More applause, cheers, and some eye-rolling from Callie followed the Mayor's closing remarks. Both candidates thanked Ann, who was fast asleep, drooling on her officiating table, and then they exited the stage.

The room was buzzing with chatter, camera flashes, and reporters rushing to commentate on what had just gone down. Social media was a-flutter with nation-wide opinions being posted as to who had "won" the night's debate. Despite how the candidates had performed, it was clear that this race was going to be tight. For the first time in a long while, katizens truly felt that every vote carried incredible significance in the future of Megakat City.