A Cruce Salus:
Chapter 11
Once you had a reason / And once you had a place / You had it all and laid it all to waste
And I know you hate to need us / But why d'you need to hate / And where'd you learn to shoot without restraint?
Oh baby won't you cry / Show me there are some tears behind your eyes / Oh baby won't you cry / Why d'you have to kill to feel alive / Why d'you have to kill to feel alive / Why d'you have to kill to feel alive?
(( Shoot Your Gun by 22-20's ))
"It was weird," said Lily.
The four of them had just returned from Samara's office, each unsure of how to feel. They were now sprawled out on their respective beds, having just finished recounting the story to Peter.
"Definitely," agreed Sirius, "What was up with the red hair?"
"Not that, you moron," she replied as though used to this sort of idiocy, "it's weird that she didn't punish us."
"Maybe," commented Remus thoughtfully, "she didn't want to give us detention because she knew we'd explain to other people why we had detention, and she didn't want anyone to know she had a Pensieve."
"Or that she needed one," added James, "Remember when she asked us not to tell anyone how she got here? Maybe she's trying to hide.. that she has something to hide."
"So she does have something to hide, then?" asked Sirius, "Are we agreed on that?"
"What is wrong with you people?" interrupted Lily, "Of course she has something to hide. If I'd been through what we saw, which apparently 'wasn't even the worst', I'd have something to hide, too! That doesn't give us the right to exploit things she doesn't want out in the open."
"But Lily," said James softly, "her name isn't even Samara. Didn't you hear what they called her? Ginny, or something?"
"I think it was Jenny," corrected Sirius.
"So what!" she said, "So she has an alias! She's an auror; is it so shocking?"
"But why would she use it here?" asked Peter, speaking up for the first time that night.
"How should I know? Look, she let us off easy; I say we keep the damage to a minimum and just stop this, right now."
"But if we don't look into this--" Sirius began.
"If we do look into this, it's going to end up exactly the way it did tonight. Maybe worse."
"Lily's right, Sirius," conceded Remus, "Let's just leave it alone."
The Marauders went to sleep that night knowing that it would be monumentally hard not to look into their professor's mysterious background. But had they known who would arrive the next day, they would'nt have needed to look very far.
The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom slowly filled itself up as the NEWT-level students filed in for their first real lesson with their new Professor.
The Marauders headed straight for their usual seats in the back, knowing they had probably ruined what could've been a perfectly good friendship. It seemed, however, that Samara Davidson - or Jenny, or whoever she was - was ready to pretend it had never happened, so long as they would do the same.
"Good morning, boys," she said with a smile on her face.
"Morning," they mumbled unsurely.
"Alright, class," she continued brightly as they sat down, "today we're going to learn about a few misconceptions that society has taught you."
For a moment, the class was silent. Morbid, much? Then, "Why?" asked some Hufflepuff James didn't recognize.
"Because," Samara began as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, "if you mention any of the things we'll be discussing negatively in classes following this one, I won't have to put up with it. Now, let's start with a test."
A few groans could be heard from around the classroom at the thought of a test on their second class.
"Stop complaining," she responded to the unappreciative reactions, "it's more like extra credit, anyway. Whoever completes it first will get, instead of points, a pardon from every detention they recieve throughout the entire school year."
Sirius and James perked up from where they were slouching contentedly in their chairs. Bumping up a few percentages was great and everything, but this was more like it!
Lily, on the other hand, didn't seem so convinced, Furrowing her eyebrows sketpically, she asked, "Are you sure you can do that?"
"Of course!" Samara replied casually, "So long as you're not caught doing anything illegal, Dumbledore thinks it's an excellent incentive."
Dumbledore wanted them to do it? Dumbledore wanted them to do it, and whoever did it first would get off scot-free of punishment for the rest of their Hogwarts career?
What the hell did she want them to do?
"All you have to do for me is say one word. One simple word, and the prize is all yours."
She leaned in theatrically, creating suspense for the moment she would reveal what seemingly talentless act they would have to perform, before uttering, most casually:
"Voldemort."
The class reacted as if she had just confessed her plans to capture their first born children and create an army of newborn warriers. More than a few people jumped clear out of their seats, and the rest twitched so violently that they nearly joined those on the floor.
"Don't say his name!" hissed Parker vehemently.
"Really, and why shouldn't I?" she asked, "Are you afraid?"
"Of course we are," said a Ravenclaw in the front, as though explaining something obvious to a child.
"Who wouldn't be afraid of him?" asked someone else.
"Ah, but that's not what I asked," she replied cheerfully, "I didn't ask if you feared the man, I asked it you feared the name."
The Marauders, still confused as to why their professor was lecturing them on a word most respected members of society would cower like children at the thought of saying, were thinking along the same lines of everyone else in the class. What kind of question was that, the man or the name? Didn't the two go hand in hand?
"It's not that we're afraid of it," said Lily slowly, the only one brave enough to speak up at all, "It's that it upsets people. Nearly everyone's been affected by Him, and people almost always talk about Him. Who wants to be reminded of what's happened to them everytime someone's opened up their mouth?"
The rest of the class seemed to relax a bit - Lily's statement summed up everything they were thinking, but weren't quite eloquent enough to voice.
"Do you really believe that?" Samara countered softly.
"Yes," Lily answered her unsurely.
"Do you really believe that, or is that what they want you to believe?"
"Who?" she questioned, bewildered.
"Everyone!" she shouted, throwing her hands up into the air, "The light, the dark, the gray.. everyone you've grown up with, everyone who's taught you anything, has taught you to fear a name. A name! And you've done it without even realizing it. Let me tell you something a very smart old man once said: 'Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.' Do you agree with that, Miss Evans?"
"Yes, actually, I do," she answered, and unwaveringly this time.
"Then prove it," she challenged, and leaned back against her desk top as though quite finished.
Every pair of eyes in the room swivelled to stare at Lily expectantly, especially those belonging to one James Potter. They anticipated the latest remark that would hopefully throw off the obviously barmy teacher, but instead they got,
"V- Voldemort."
The reaction of the class might have been slightly less intense the second time of having the word spoken, if it was not for whose mouth it was coming from. Most everyone was giving her strange looks that resembled the ones they'd given Samara only moments ago, but James felt himself swelling up with something uncanningly resembling pride. And respect.
Sirius, however felt differently.
"Wait, wait, wait," he started, gaining the attention of his peers as he appeared to ready himself to counter both women, "Please do not tell me that Little Miss Goody-two-shoes Evans is going to get that prize."
Samara, along with a few of her pupils, laughed for the first time that period. "Sorry," she lamented, "but Lily did say it first, and that was the rule."
"But- but-" spluttered Sirius, "If you would've given me the chance.."
"You had plenty of chance, Mr. Black," she concluded, amused at his antics.
"But Lily's never had a detention in her life!" supported Peter, hoping to gain some appreciation from his crestfallen friend.
"That's not true," Lily corrected defensively, "I had one in fifth year."
"It was for studying in the library!" pointed out Sirius exasperatedly.
"It was after hours!"
"But it was still for studying - it doesn't count!"
"All right, Sirius," Samara interrupted, "I'll make you a deal. Say it to me before next class, and I'll still give you some extra credit."
Sirius was outraged. "Extra credit!" he scoffed, "Don't you try and bribe me, woman."
Their professor turned the rest of the class with a deaf ear to his scorn and continued. "The same applies to the rest of you. However, all of you must say it to me by next class."
Half the class now shared Sirius's rage.
"How in the hell--"
"She can't make us--"
"What kind of assignment is that?"
The other half, however, were tentatively considering the idea. The fact of the matter was, hearing Lily say that nine-letter word had opened up their minds. The 'could I' ringing in their minds had converted to 'would I' with one simple word.
"What happens if we don't want to?" sneered one of the Slytherins.
"I don't really care if you don't want to, Mr. Lestrange, or if your parents feel the same way," she answered coldly, "If you fail to complete the first assignment I give, you'll have to drop the class. After all, this is a NEWT-level course. No one ever said it was going to be easy. If some of the students are unprepared to take on such a course, it's my perrogative to decide."
She was greeted with identical sets of glares from most of the Slytherins, and even a few from the Ravenclaws. It was a good thing then, Remus supposed, that she didn't seem to care, and went smoothly on with her lesson plan.
"The next thing we're going to talk about is Light magic vs. Dark magic. Who thinks they know the difference? Ms. Sanders?"
Peyton looked up quickly from the note she had been attempting to write inconspicuously (and failing at quite miserably). Looking around the room awkwardly, she asked, "Could you repeat that?"
"Certainly, Peyton, I was just asking you if you could tell me the difference between Light and Dark magic. And you know what? Answer it correctly, and I won't take five points from Ravenclaw for not paying attention during my class."
"Oh, right," she said, relieved it had not been too difficult of a question, "Well.. light magic is, like, the stuff we learn here. At Hogwarts. And dark magic is the stuff we learn to protect ourselves against. You know, like, evil wizards use it and stuff."
"Yes and no, Peyton. We do learn Light magic here at Hogwarts, but you, like most of your peers, are way off mark when it comes to Dark magic. Think about it this way. If you were going to read a book - silly idea, I know - but if you were, would you seek out a supposedly wiser person than yourself who has already read said book, and have them instruct you on exactly which pages would be beneficial for you to read? No, you wouldn't, because how could one person know what is good for everyone? And by glossing over situations that may bother you, you're taking away from the whole picture. The wizarding world is the same way."
"But Dark magic was created to hurt people," said Remus, confused as to why his professor was encouraging such a villainous idea.
"Close, Mr. Lupin," she replied, "Dark magic has the potential to hurt people. You've all learned about the Unforgiveables, yes? Well, there's a reason they're called the Unforgiveables, and it's because they don't have any use except to cause harm to others.
"James," she called out suddenly, "tell me one way you could kill someone using Dark magic."
"The Avada Kedavra curse," he answered.
"Right, and is there any way at all to kill someone using Light magic? Mr. Black?"
"You could levitate someone out that window," he said serenely, as though picturing such an event in his mind.
"Exactly! You see, Light magic is favored by most wizards because its prevalent purpose is an innoent one. Dark magic is used most commonly by evil wizards because it holds such an enormous amount of power that it can do major damage without very much effort on the wizard's part. But, just like Light magic can be used for evil, that power can also be used to do a lot of good. For example, Effloresco is a healing potion that mends wounds and numbs the pain at the same time. Before Effloresco was discovered, two potions would have to be taken - one for the wounds, and one for the pain. You don't have to be a Healer to know that not all potions mix well, and usually cause complications if they interact. Having one potion that could get the healing over with and not lead to conditions that require further healing saved a lot of people a lot of pain. How many of you knew that the key ingredient, an herb called servilium, had to be tainted with Dark magic before the potion took on any value?"
No one raised their hands.
"That's what I thought. You see, when major advancements are made and made with Dark magic, people don't like for the word to get out. Most likely, if it did, no one would even think twice about taking advantage of it, and nothing could be accomplished. That's why it's important for you to understand the difference between Dark magic and harmful magic."
"That actually makes a lot of sense," Lily whispered to her friends as Samara opened her mouth to speak again. Unfortunately, whatever knowledge she wished to impart to them never reached the ears of her class, as she was interrupted by a stupendously strange phenomenon occuring at the front of the room. A blinding whirlwind of blue light met the eyes of everyone paying attention to where Samara was standing, flashing in rapid successions that made Lily's stomach church in a way similar to motion sickness. When finally it ceased, it was replaced by a black-haired man and a professor looking on in shock. His features were difficult to make out, as he was doubled over, appearing to be more winded from the experience than the rest of them. As he stood up, however, a flash of recognition appeared in the eyes of not only Samara, but four of her students, as well.
"Probably should have seen that coming," the man remarked in a raspy voice, sweeping his long hair back to reveal numerous cuts on a bloodstained face.
"Class dismissed," said Samara sharply, and the tone she used was enough to make them scramble out of their seats, abandoning their curiosity in the mystical appearing man for keeping all of their limbs.
Author's Note: You know, I think I've only ended 3 or 4 chapters without a cliffhanger. I'm evil, I know.
I find myself quite hating the way I've written Lily. It's not that she's a terrible character, it's that I want to do so much more with her character. I need someone to say her lines and keep the Marauders in check; I just hate that it has to be her. Anyway, I've decided that to make up for it, my next story will be entirely centered around Miss Lily Evans. The working title is "Chaos Theory", and I have the prologue done, if anyone's interested in reading it. (Please don't ask to read it if you don't expect to give feedback.)
PLEASE READ: A lot of you have been asking if this is going to be a H/G fic. I never intended for this to be a romance fic at all, but I'll write it in if my readers would prefer it. I warn you, though - there will be VERY little fluff. Since I haven't considered a romance as of yet, I need your thoughts on the subject.
POLL: Who do you want Ginny to be with? It can be ANYONE - even someone else from her timeline - trust me, I can make it work. Alternately, should Ginny stay solo? Cast your votes in a review.