A Cruce Salus:
Chapter 13
A couple of tears and I'm a broken mess / The sadness has taken me far too deep in regret / So sing me a song about something good / My heart's on the thrashing floor and / I've done every single thing I could
I used to believe in / Some kind of feelin' / That could change everything I thought I knew / But that door is closed / And my heart feels like it's frozen / If you hear me, I can't feel you
Whoa / I'm losing hope / There's a hole in my heart / That's been cut out of stone / Whoa / Cold comes, cold goes / Could you fill this hole/ Cause I can't do it alone
(( The Coldest Heart by The Classic Crime ))
As soon as James and Sirius were gone from her line of vision, so was the smile that had been plastered on to her face for the whole afternoon. She'd truly had a good time, but all of her good times were fleeting. This should have filled her with remorse, or regret, or something, but it seemed that all she was capable of these days was anger. Blind, furious rage. And as she was no longer angry with Aries, she found herself striding towards her classroom feeling nothing at all.
Aries was taking a long drag of his cigarette when Samara entered their quarters. Apparently, he had been waiting for her. He opened his mouth to say something the moment he saw her, but she silenced him with her hand.
"You're sorry," she said, "I get it. Now throw me the pack."
She didn't speak again till after she'd inhaled enough times for the usual lightness to return to her head.
"I got into a Quidditch tournament with James and Sirius," she informed him, making it clear that their previous conversation was over.
"Oh yeah?" he questioned in surprise, for Quidditch was one of the things he could relate to with her, "I bet that deflated their egos a bit."
"That's the embarrassing part!" she exclaimed, pausing to take another drag, "I beat James, but Sirius caught the Snitch and he was the one who could've used the lesson in modesty!"
"Well, you always were a better Chaser than seeker," he consoled her.
They were silent for a few minutes after that, but it was a comfortable silence. Samara took one last drag before putting the cigarette out on her wrist, closing her eyes for a moment as the familiar pain welcomed her with a high she would never achieve with a cigarette alone.
"I'll never understand how you can deliberately hurt yourself like that," remarked Aries casually, before he put his own cigarette out in his cup, which he felt was a much better ash tray than your own arm.
"You wouldn't," she replied lazily, ruffling his already messy hair on her way to the kitchen, "Firewhiskey?"
"Do you even have to ask?"
"Nope," she replied, throwing him his bottle and repositioning herself so she was taking up the entire couch, her legs on Aries' lap.
"Classy," he remarked.
"Boy-who-lived," she retorted, "Sounds like quite an accomplishment."
"Ginger."
"Pothead."
"Gin and tonic."
"Scarface."
"Best friend's little sister."
"Big brother's annoying best friend."
"Firecrotch."
"Ouch! Loverboy."
"Oo, low blow," he winced.
"I give what I get," she giggled.
"What you're going to get is my hex up your ass."
"I'm so scared, Potter."
"Is that a challenge?"
"Bring it!"
Both were instantly on their feet at the last statement, and what followed was a duel the outside observer would've taken for a fight to the death. In reality, it was all in good fun, and though they could never determine who was the definitive loser of these impromptu battles, either would always swear it was the other.
At least one thing is back to normal, thought Ginny.
A week later, Aries and Samara's NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts course assembled promptly in their classroom as usual. DADA was always looked forward to since Samara's arrival, and even more so since her counterpart's.
The two bickered like an old married couple, or so it seemed from their positions in the Great Hall. One day, Samara would refuse to look at Aries, or Aries would refuse to look at Samara, and the next day they'd both be laughing together as if nothing had happened. It was in mutual agreement that it would be better for the class if today was one of the days their professors were on speaking terms, and so it was with relief that they were found laughing together over a first years' parchment.
"Look at the next sentence, it's absolutely dreadful," said Samara, "he goes, 'Expelliarmus is a defense spell used to "expel" someone from the room.'."
"Merlin, does this kid ever pay attention?"
"I doubt it, but hopefully this class will. Take attendance, would you? The normal way."
"My preferred method for taking attendance is perfectly normal."
Samara glared at him.
"But of course, I'd love to do things your way. Abbot?"
"Here."
When Aries was finally finished, he gave his fellow teacher an exasperated look and remarked, "Why do you always give me the menial work?"
"Because I don't trust you with my classroom," she deadpanned, not even bothering to look up from the nearly illegible paper she was attempting to sort through.
"There you go again, your classroom. I swear to Merlin's hairy--"
"Students, Aries."
"--arms, this class is giving me an inferiority complex."
Samara looked up, giving up on the literacy of the eleven year old, and abandoned her intentions of an intelligent response in favor of uncontrollable laughter.
"That's.. rich!" she gasped, "How much longer until your inferiority complex takes over for your hero complex?"
Aries gave her an unamused look, before also abandoning any hope for an intelligent response and instead turned to the classroom for a (hopefully) intelligent discussion.
"We'll be talking about werewolves today, class, and no," he said, turning back to Samara, "your 'official' teacher will not be leading the discussion."
"I won't?" asked Samara casually.
"No," Aries sneered mockingly, "You won't. The time has come for me to prove I am far better at this than you are."
"What happened to your inferiority complex?" she countered.
"An inferiority complex where I see you as inferior to me."
"I think that's called a stupidity complex."
"You're a stupidity complex!"
Samara stared at him unblinkingly, not for the first time in only the past five minutes. "Excellent start, Aries. You have successfully displayed both wit and the ability to stay on topic for more than thirty seconds. By all means, continue."
James, Sirius, and Peter gave the fourth Marauder an apprehensive look, knowing their friend's terse expression to be an indication that he was much less comfortable than the bantering professors. Fortunately, Aries dropped his light tone.
"Werewolves are, as you know, wizards who transform into a wolf-human hybrid on the full moon of each month. The disease, known as lycanthropy, is contracted through the bite of a transformed werewolf. However, I'm well aware that you've already covered how to spot werewolves, how to protect yourselves from them, et cetera et cetera. Frankly, I'm glad that you did, because I'm not interested in any of that stuff. What I'm interested in is not your opinion on transformed werewolves, but rather on wizards--human beings--who have contracted lycanthropy. Annemarie? What about you?"
The somewhat studious girl looked shocked at being called upon, and debated how to answer a question whose answer could not be found in a textbook. Remus buried his head in his hands as he waited for her reply.
"Well, they're half-breeds, aren't they?" she answered uncertainly, "They're not technically wizards. Or human beings."
Aries's response was interrupted by the growl emanating from a certain Sirius Black's throat. "That's nice, Jenkins, that's real nice," he snarled, "So just because someone was in the wrong place at the wrong time and happened to contract a disease, they're not technically human?"
The girl looked flustered. "Of course they aren't, Black, they're vicious creatures! They're a danger to society!"
"The only thing that's a danger to society is your overwhelming stupidity."
"That's what I say about Aries," mused Samara from her desk. "What?" she said when said wizard shot her a look, "You wanted to take over. You deal with this."
"Whatever," snarled Sirius, "you can punish me however you want, but I can't be held responsible for my actions when that much ignorance comes out of someone's mouth."
"On the contrary, Mr. Black," replied Aries, "apart from the attack on Ms. Jenkin's intelligence, I quite agree with you."
The class looked even more surprised at this, having already raised their eyebrows at Sirius displaying anything more than disdain or amusement in a classroom.
"Werewolves are not, as most would have you believe, a 'danger to society'. Of course, they are dangerous, but only once a month, when they have no control over it. I assure you, wizards infected with lycanthropy are not savages the other twenty-nine days of the lunar cycle, and they also did not wander off into a dark forest on the full moon shouting, 'Hey werewolves! I suck as a human being, let me join you!'"
"Aries may be right about few things, but this is one of them," added Samara, joining him in the center of the room, "One of our best friends and mentor was a werewolf, and I'd be willing to say he had more character than this entire room. He saved our lives, and ended up dying to protect us, so while there are many things I will tolerate in this classroom, a prejudice against werewolves and other magical creatures will not be one of them."
"How many of you are aware," continued Aries, "that loneliness is a driving force in the widespread contraction of lycanthropy? A wizard in his werewolf form retains some basic human instincts, but they are mostly overpowered by his wolf instincts. Wolves are meant to live in packs, you see, and a werewolf is obviously not born into a pack. The carnal need for brothers, combined with the loneliness of the life a lycanthropic wizard leads, drives the need to spread the disease; to create a pack."
"So, really," said Samara quietly, "the bias you place against werewolves puts you at risk for becoming a werewolf yourself."
"So you're telling us that the best way to protect ourselves if we meet a werewolf is to invite him out for tea?" asked James from the back row.
"In theory, Mr. Potter, in theory," replied Samara, smiling softly, "Although, it might be best to run, figure out who the werewolf was, and invite him to tea in his human form."
"But that's just her opinion, and she prefers to stay in one piece," supplied Aries, "Me, I say where's the fun in that? Live a little."
"Twenty points to Gryffindor for an excellent display of character, Sirius," said Samara, ignoring her supposed friend's remarks, "I'm pleasantly surprised to see that you can be, well.. serious."
Sirius grinned like an idiot, as he always did when his built-in pun gave him an opportunity. "Thats, my name," he said, "Don't--"
"Wear it out, we know," chorused the rest of the classroom without humor.
"You love me," he replied, unperturbed.
"So?" asked Aries, looking at Samara expectantly.
"So, what?" she replied.
"Have I given you an inferiority complex?"
"Didn't you tell me an inferiority complex was feeling superior to others?"
"No, I said it was me feeling you were inferior to--Oh, I guess I did."
"Of course you did," replied Samara consolingly while the class looked on in amusement, "And I must admit, you weren't half bad, but I did step in and help you finish."
"Oh, come on!" he exclaimed, "I would've done fine without you butting in!"
"Wonderful, then you can go over the homework."
"You bet your--"
"Students."
"--arm I can!"
"Then kindly do so."
Samara returned to her desk, while Aries stared at the class in utter confusion. "Er," he began, "what exactly was the homework?"
"That's what I thought," sighed Samara, returning to her place beside Aries, "I'll take it from here."
The rest of the class went smoothly--or, as smoothly as a class with four marauders could go. The bell finally rang just as a cheer went out for the "No homework" decreed by Samara, but before everyone was out the door, Aries approached Remus discreetly and asked him to accompany the pair into their office.
"What's this about?" asked Remus nervously, looking around sporadically as if about to be jumped.
"Relax, Remus, you aren't in any trouble," assured Samara.
"And we're sorry if the discussion today made you uncomfortable," added Aries.
"What do you mean?" denied Remus in a frantic effort to keep his head, "Why would I be--"
"We know, Remus," replied Samara, "Albus informed us of your condition when we became staff members. And as you already know, you don't have to worry about us treating you any differently for it."
Remus looked slightly relieved, yet still puzzled. "What is this about, then?"
The lycanthrope watched curiously as Aries reached into his robes and pulled out a vial of a murky green substance. "This is a potion used by the werewolf friend we mentioned earlier. It's called Wolfsbane. He developed it back in Lancaster, but died before he could use it to help others like him. He did, however, sometimes need assistance brewing it, and imparted the knowledge to us."
"What exactly does it do?" inquired Remus, now thoroughly intrigued.
"It's taken before you transform," answered Samara, "and it's not a cure--you will still transform. However, the properties of the potion allow you to keep your human mind about you, and we want you to have it."
Remus looked overwhelmed at the prospect. "Thank you," he said, accepting the vial gratefully, "You have no idea how helpful this will be."
"Probably not," conceded Aries, "but we can guess. It takes some time to brew and, though I'm sure you're plenty skilled in Potions, I doubt you could brew it yourself, so we'll have it ready for you before the full moon each month."
"I don't know what to say," he replied.
"We're just happy to help," said Samara warmly, "we've seen how difficult this life can be for a person, and you deserve better, Remus. If there's ever anything else you need, or anything you want to talk about, we're here."
"I really appreciate that," said Remus, "And I might take you up on it."
"Good," replied Samara happily, "It's not healthy to keep everything bottled up."
"Ha!" said Aries, looking at his friend in disbelief, "That is the single most hypocritical thing I have ever and will ever hear anyone say."
"Shut it you," she replied nonchalantly, "Now get to class, Lupin, or you'll be late."
Author's Note:
Alright, I know Aries and Samara might seem a bit out of character in this chapter, but this is what they give to the outside world--they obviously can't go around brooding all the time even if they feel like doing so, and I mentioned in the first chapter how one of Samara's triumphs was keeping her humor in spite of everything. It's like having chronic depression, I may feel like crap all the time, but that doesn't mean I want all of my interactions with other people to be a reminder of that. Usually the people who have the worst stuff going on are the people who always seem the happiest. But that's just my rationalization for it.
Lots of love, hugs, cookies, whatever it takes to get you to review. :)