6 pm…
Ina had left fifteen minutes ago to pick theirs and Yukimura's needs and to grab some 'human' food (hospital foods are the worst ever). Will be back in less than an hour she said.
Yukimura had woken up in just few minutes after he was placed in his wards. Thanks to his charm and determination, the medic had allowed him to visit his brother.
Stream of tears brimmed within his eyes as he pinned them on his brother's still corpse-pale face. A medium tube was forced into his throat together with a green transparent mask covering his nose and mouth area that was connected to a big green cylindrical iron container on his bed's right side. Few centimeters below that mask, a nasty big circular bruise of blue and red like he was punched by Keiji and Tadakatsu in the same time. It was so nasty it shivered Yukimura's spine.
His trembling right hand slowly moved to reach Nobuyuki's hand which was hiding beneath the warm thick white blanket covering his body to the neck. He could see numerous small tubes on his brother's hand that were connected into strange devices around his bed. An invisible bullet shattered his strongest mental defense as he touched Nobuyuki's skin. No wonder they give him an electric blanket! Brother is even colder than ice!
His brown eyes scanned Nobuyuki's chest. Its raise and fall were too weak it was almost undetected. His eyes shifted to a medium monitor stationed on his right side. A thin green line formed a tiny zigzag pattern moving on the same rhythm with beeping monotone from that monitor. Clues of the silver haired man's fragile heart pumped so weak, restrained by severe heart disorders.
Congestive heart failure... cardiomyopathy... heart inflammation...
It took all strength he could gather to keep his hopes high regarding Nobuyuki's state. He knew his brother wasn't a quitter. He was the one who told him to survive no matter how harsh the world gets so they could live up to their family reputation and protect one another.
He gently tightens his hold on Nobuyuki's hand as stream of tears dripped from his chin. He bit his lower lip to hold back any tears. He had promised to Nobuyuki and himself to stay strong no matter what. Albeit his self-motivating, he couldn't hold a single tear knowing that his most treasured brother is dying with less than one percent chance of surviving those life-threatening disorders.
Right now, if he could, he wanted to turn back the time and grabbed his safety diving gear before he jumped to the sea. Or if he could, he wanted to return to his child self so he could snuggle onto his brother's bed and wrap him tight yet gently to ease his own angst. Like what he always did in their childhood.
Knowing none of them would come true; Yukimura rested his head carefully on his brother's shoulder, holding Nobuyuki's hand tighter. He didn't care what people would think of this, he just wanted to be there for Nobuyuki. For the only living family he had.
"(1)生きて下さい、兄上...please don't leave me alone... you're all I have left..." he whispered as he drifted back to sleep, lulled by Nobuyuki's weak heartbeat from the cardiograph. Okay, this brings back the old times.
Images of his childhood with his brother invaded his thoughts. One that scarred him so harsh was when Nobuyuki succumbed to an ancient illness called Snow Fever that nearly took Nobuyuki from him. But thank God he was still allowed to live with his only and his truly loved brother.
That memory was soon replaced by a memory of their younger years. When he was four and Nobuyuki was five, a hideous storm raged the whole city, thunder and lightning blaring mercilessly. Yukimura ran to Nobuyuki's bedroom and quickly snuggled into his brother's blanket, clutching Nobuyuki's body so tight he could feel his ribs under his arms. The surprised Nobuyuki pulled Yukimura who was trembling with fear into his warm embrace and ruffled his short spiky hair lovingly. Just that, his fear and tremor vanished.
"It's alright, Yukimura… I'm here... Everything will be alright… I promise…"
Those words he had heard when they were still on the sea echoed in his thoughts and calmed his frightened self. Because deep down, he knows his brother will make this out.
He gently pushed down the golden knob and pushed it. Ina was holding Nobuyuki's hand in her hands.
"Konnichiwa, Aneue, Aniue," she turned her head and forced a smile, "Konnichiwa, Yukimura. Ready to take the shift?"
He lifted a black briefcase on his right hand and tapped it twice proudly. "Home works and tomorrow's schedule are all packed up," Ina wiped her tears as she walked to him, "Then, make sure you eat well. Nobuyuki won't be happy if he sees you thin as a stick," she cupped her hand on her brother-in-law's cheek, her other hand was holding a pitch black briefcase.
Yukimura chuckled back, "(2)はっ。同じく、気を浸けてくれ、姉上。"
After she left, Yukimura sat on the chair next to the small table where the cardiograph was located and put his slim briefcase on the chair next to him. He held his brother's hand tight, staring on the creepy pale hand; dare not to see Nobuyuki's corpse-like face. With a gulp, he braced himself to talk to his brother.
"Konnichiwa, Aniue," silence was all he got.
"How are you? Any signs of recovery yet, brother?" Now his throat feels suffocated.
Silence.
"College is fine. I managed to boost my grades and put balance in my activities as you suggested. You see Brother, Sister is really strict on our shifts watching over you. She always insists me to attend classes in the morning, when I'm finished, she'll let me take the shift. And she always makes sure I don't my assignments and the next day's schedule." He forced a chuckle to prevent him from bursting out.
"Sister took up your position perfectly, brother. She makes sure I've eaten already, wakes me up every morning, helped my assignments and all. I'm really happy you have her as your wife. She's so kind, gentle, strong, and tough; she's really alike to you, Brother." He paused to catch a breath.
He just couldn't take it any longer. It's been FOURTEEN MONTHS! Fourteen months he had seen no visible progress! Fourteen months since anxious, worry, fear, and guilt haunted him! Fourteen months since he keeps his hopes high for Nobuyuki's recovery! Fourteen tough long and tormenting months he lived without his brother's presence around him to knock some senses into his head whenever he makes a foolish mistake, to give him advices, to comfort him in his anxiousness, to help him with his home works and projects, to remind him to go to bed whenever he passed his midnight, to wake him up every morning whenever he overslept, and—and—and... argh! His heart aches so much he was so lost in words!
His brother had never asked anything in return because he loves Yukimura more than anyone. Yukimura too, loves Nobuyuki more than anything in the world. Nobuyuki is his most treasured person he has, not only because he's his only living family left, but he was also the one who had raised him since their childhood. Literally. Their parents had died in a car crash during their way back to Shinano, 18 years ago, when the oldest Sanada was dying in the hospital out of an ancient life-threatening illness. Nobuyuki had sacrificed his supposedly happy childhood to grow up way before he should have to be fully responsible for him. Nobuyuki is his everything. A great brother, a father, a mother, a best friend, an idol, a mentor, a person he looks up to so much, and most of all, he's his world.
Yukimura took a deep long breath. Swaying away his lost thought and returned to present time. His hand ran through his face along with a deep long exhale.
Life's been so hard on them and Yukimura didn't want to burden his brother further. So he promised himself and Nobuyuki that no matter what happened, he would not let any single tear slip from his eyes.
He kept his promise these years back then, through thorns and cottons, through raging storms and sunny days. But seeing your only brother that you cared so much and cared for you as well dying before your very eyes because of your stupid evitable mistake without you able of doing anything to ease his suffering is one hell of tremendous bullet his walls of defense had to face. Moreover, that kind of bullet kept shooting itself to you. Every time Yukimura sees Nobuyuki, with that kind of face—way too different than Nobuyuki he used to interact every day— his thick defense wall gone thinner and thinner till it's almost ready to perish and let that bullet shattered his mental.
Pull yourself together, Yukimura! You've done this thousand of times! Don't break your promise! Brother won't be happy seeing you cry!
"There's nothing interesting enough to tell for today. Except that Honda-sensei recently called me after classes. He asks about your progress and how am I doing after the incident. Which minds me, he still breaks chalks in classes on writing test materials." Another forced chuckle left his lips.
He let out a heavy sigh, "I-I-a-I'm on my fifth semester now,"
He tearfully stared at the ceilings. "It's hard to believe isn't it? It's been fourteen months since that incident on the beach... since you saved me from the ocean depths... since you got stung by some box jellyfishes... since you—" tears freely ran his cheeks and dripped from his chin. Yukimura bit his lip to pull himself together.
"Thanks to you, I'm perfectly alright, Brother." His thumb gently caresses Nobuyuki's cold hand. This time, he braced himself to gaze upon his brother's face.
"No matter what happened... you always managed to save me from my own foolishness. No matter how busy you are... you've always been there for me, giving advice, supporting my back, listened my struggles, keep me companied, you never leave me alone... Thank you... for being a perfect brother for me, thank you for raising me... Thank you for never stop loving me..."on the verge of bursting out, he tighten his grip on Nobuyuki's limp hand.
"A—and I'm really sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for never be a good younger brother you always wanted me to be. Had I listened to you none of this would've happened." He couldn't take it anymore. His strongest and thickest mental defense had perished.
"I-I miss you so much, Brother. Living past few months without you is really tough. Sister feels the same, there's no day without her crying on her prays for your recovery." The younger brunette wiped his tears and took a long deep breath to stop his sobbing.
"Everybody miss you too. The whole staffs and employees, our acquaintances. You see, Brother, this ward is full of gifts and get well soon cards from everyone who knows you, even my friends, and sister's. And Gin, that silver cat never left your bed since I and sister told him about you, every time the front door creaks, he runs into it with hopes to find you standing in front of the door and carry him like you always do." He put a smile on his face.
"(3)それに、二十五歳誕生日おめでとうございます、兄上…"
"And I have something for you."Yukimura took out a medium blue box from his briefcase and put it on the desk next to him.
"Well, I know it's not as fancy as my presents you always gave me, but, I really hope you like it."
Yukimura laid a gentle brotherly kiss on Nobuyuki's ice-cold forehead and whispered gently, "I love you Brother. Please wake up soon. We miss you so much."
After that, he busied himself with college works. Few hours later, he ended up fallenasleep on Nobuyuki's bedside (again). Three layers of books and a pen on his lap. Head rested on his folded arms. And as always, his right hand squeezed tight on Nobuyuki's hand.
The tired and had just returned from work Ina, couldn't do anything but to feel touched by the brothers' immense bond. She silently grabbed the white blanket on the other bed and placed it on her younger brother-in-law's shoulders. Gentle kisses she laid on her beloved husband's cheeks and forehead, and one she laid on Yukimura's forehead.
Ina sat herself on the chair next to Yukimura and gazed towards her family. Happy smile crept on her beautiful face.
I truly am the luckiest and happiest woman in this world for having such perfect family.
She too, decided to sleep in Yukimura's manner. She folded her arms to a pillow, hold Nobuyuki's hand (with Yukimura's on it) and let Nobuyuki's weak heart beats (from cardiograph's monotone sounds) lull her to peaceful slumber.
Translations:
(1) "Please, you have to make this out, Brother..."
(2) "Likewise, Sister. Please take care,"
(3) "By the way, happy 25th birthday, brother,"