I absolutely hate this chapter. I have a rough draft of everything that follows but I needed this one to link it all and it just wouldn't work. And it still doesn't but I'm too annoyed to change it again. Next one will hopefully be better.
He calls Lindy every day. He can hear exasperation in her voice but she dutifully picks up her phone every single time. His fears are betraying him, he's so afraid she'll disappear again that he needs the simplest reassurance. She must be aware of it.
"Tommy, I need you to focus on what we spoke about, ok?" She finally tells him one afternoon. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."
He's too embarrassed to call her after that and for the first time in months he skips the weekly dinner as well. Work is a great excuse even though everybody sees right through it. Which is probably why he gets an unexpected visitor at the precinct; Sophia drops by with a coffee and a bag of doughnuts.
"They were out of croissants this morning," she smiles sweetly but he knows that smile. She wants him to talk, to explain himself.
Yeager conveniently leaves them alone in the hall and Tommy knows he's being set up.
"I don't really have time to talk, Sophia."
"That's not what Yeager says," she doesn't even bat an eyelash. She's on a mission. "In fact, he says you could really use a friend. So... here I am! The best listener you'll ever get!"
"Sophia, no. I'm not in the mood."
Unfortunately for him that never stopped her.
"I thought you'd be happy that she's back."
"I am. That's not the problem..."
"What is it then? Because you didn't come over for our dinner and we both know that you lied about working that evening. Which means you're avoiding her and I don't understand why."
"I'm not avoiding her, ok? I'm actually trying to help her out. I'm just..." Deep breath. "Not ready to face her right now, all right?"
"I knew it! It's dangerous, isn't it? Whatever she's been up to lately? That's why she asked for your help," she eyes him warily.
"It's... not dangerous," he lies. He completed a file for her 10 days ago and it's bad. Bad with a capital B. He doesn't know what to think of her investigating her own father. He doesn't know what to think of her investigating scumbags that make Ja... the Flirtual killer look like a mildly bothersome psycho. He doesn't want to confront her. He doesn't want her to know what he found. She'll reject his help and he'll be left alone freaking out about her safety once again.
"None of this makes sense!" She lets out a frustrated sigh. "We're all going out to dinner tomorrow night. Lindy's got a new job and we're celebrating."
"I'm not exactly invited-"
"Oh please, the doughnuts were just an excuse. She was the one who suggested I drop them off. You two are so transparent but somehow you just like to complicate everything."
"So it was her idea?"
She rolls her eyes and purposefully ignores his question.
"You better show up," she pokes him in the arm, punctuating each word and with a flirty wink at Yeager leaves him standing there feeling like a fool again. She's right. It makes no sense and he can't avoid Lindy forever. Admittedly being close to someone who doesn't love you back is a difficult exercise and he knows his feelings are past obvious. Still, it's an entire evening to spend in her company and he'll take whatever crumbs of her attention he can.
So it's really no surprise when he finds himself waiting outside a sushi place trying to casually chat with George until she arrives. When she finally does his heart flips. It's ridiculous but everything around her just fades and he feels intoxicated just by her sight. He's not even sure how he got to this point, how he embraces this trainwreck of emotions so willingly.
"I'm glad you're here," she tells him and for that alone it was all worth it.
Sophia conveniently switches places with him so he sits next to Lindy. Her thigh brushes his and everything is so casual and easy. They look like a couple. They banter like a couple. It's not real. She's laughing at the way he's using chopsticks and then her hand is on his, slight fingers trying to guide his.
"We should go for drinks after this," Connor suggests when the dinner is reaching its end. "Kevin wants to join us."
There's a collective groan around the table.
"You're joking, right?" Tommy says with a clear distaste.
"Honey, we really need to talk about Kevin..." Sophia chuckles.
"Still not funny," Connor is clearly annoyed.
"Ok I need to hear that story," Lindy's looking around in confusion. "Who's Kevin?"
"My boyfriend", "Connor's boytoy", "A douchebag" are the simultaneous replies.
"He joined them for dinner once. Once. You should have heard them afterwards," Yeager adds helpfully.
"So we graciously invited him to dinner and drinks, right?" Sophie starts the story.
"And the douchebag spent the entire evening criticising food, drinks and every one of us," Tommy grimaces.
"Let's not forget he was trying to flirt with every waiter in the restaurant and that new bartender at IRL..." George continues.
"And with Tommy!" Sophia finishes with a laugh.
Lindy turns to Tommy, a smirk firmly in place.
"Aren't you irresistible, Mr Popular!"
He's secretly pleased by her words even if she's mocking him. God, he's beyond pathetic.
Connor certainly doesn't look amused by any of it and Tommy has a weird feeling this will turn ugly in a second.
"Sorry, Connor but he does sound like a douche," Lindy tells him with a small laugh.
"Yeah, well at least he's not a serial killer," Connor instantly bites back.
They all freeze at that. All the easiness and fun of the evening immediately disappears, replaced by cold awkward silence. Tommy instinctively squeezes Lindy's hand.
"Connor!" Sophia kicks him swiftly under the table, murderous look on her face.
"Yeah, sorry. I forgot that stupid silent pact of ours," Connor replies sarcastically. "Why would we mention any of it, right? God forbids she knows what she put you through the past few months."
"Connor, that's enough," Tommy hears himself say, his hand still firmly on Lindy's.
A tiny, resentful part of him is glad someone said it out loud and he hates it. He glances at Lindy. She suddenly looks older, drained and he hates that even more.
"I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have left like that," she moves her hand and grabs her glass of water. "I just wanted to keep you safe," she adds calmly.
"You sound just like Sara," Tommy can't help but mutter. He hears her drew in a quick breath. She obviously heard it.
"Sweetie, you don't owe us any explanations. Forgive and forget. And we're here to celebrate, not to dwell on the past!" Sophia's desperately trying to save the evening.
It doesn't really work and any further plans for the night seem pointless. They gather outside calling for cabs when Lindy tugs at his arm and pulls him away from the group.
"Let's walk home, ok?"
He nods numbly. He knows exactly what she wants. She waits all of 30 seconds before she asks him, "Did you find anything?"
Of course, that's all there is. He's the one being used now. Is this how she felt when she found out? He briefly wonders if she's doing this on purpose. If this is his punishment. It would certainly fit the crime. She's so determined, so much like him. How did he never notice this before.
"Tommy, please, there's a reason you've been avoiding me lately."
He wants to laugh at how ridiculous this situation is but he can't force a single sound. Just keep walking.
"Tommy!" She grabs his hand. "I need to know."
He stops in his tracks. He looms over her, grim words of truth plaguing his mind.
"I don't know how you got those names but you must stop. You have no idea what you're playing with."
For a moment she looks genuinely worried. That moment doesn't last too long.
"What? No, you know I can't do that."
"Lindy, this isn't a game. This is serious. They're investigated by at least two other departments and judging by the amount of files I have no access to probably by the feds as well. We're talking stuff that makes Babylon seem like amateurs' playground, ok? Human traffic, slavery, kiddie porn. You name it, they've done it. So please, please let the professionals take care of it."
"What about my father?" She doesn't seem so sure any more. She actually looks smaller, younger than usual. He starts feeling bad for his outburst.
"I can't find any apparent link... It's not a bad thing, Lindy."
"No, there must be a connection. There must be. Do you have those files?"
"Lindy..."
"Please, let's take a look at them together. I need to know."
Her voice cracks a little and he knows he's unable to deny her anything. Even harsh truth she's so desperate for.
"Fine, they're at my place," he sighs.
This is the point of no return.