A/N: I just thought of something really funny...Sasuke wants kids, but he hates them! How weird is that? Anyways I gots a day to go! So i better get on with it, not much chance of it being finished before the 29th now, sorry people but the author needs a holiday too!!!!
Sasuke looked over at the two snoring demons with a puzzled look. I've only been away from her for eleven years and she's managed to marry the Kazekage AND have kids. It makes me think about how little i've done with my life... He looked up into the clear night sky and sighed... She was ment to be mine... I guess she's happier with Gaara-sama. What could a rogue offer her but a life of fleeing and sin? How can I make up for it? He burried his hands in his hair, thinking hard. Daimen unconciously kicked his little sister in the head gently and turned over just as Suki flung her hand around to hit his makeshift pillow... Sasuke smiled. If he didn't hate kids so much he'd have at least half-a-dozen... He settled down onto the leaf-bed he'd prepared and shifted into a comfortable position, dozing off into a fitfull sleep, the sounds of the night only triggering painfull memories of his younger days...
Deidara swooped low over the canopy, searching for any sign of life, but the forest was long silent...the slight rustles of night-creatures adding to the cicada music, the symphony of summer... Deidara wheeled away back to the Akatsuki camp...
"So, find anything?", the now stitched up Hidan asked, wincing slightly as his severed voicebox thrummed with his slightly pompous accent. Kakuzu pulled tighter on the string he was stitching his foul-mouthed partner's arm back on with.
"FUCK!!!!!! Kakuzu was that really bloody necisarry?!?!", Hidan shouted at him, only agrivating his still tender vocal-chords.
"Hidan watch your mouth!!!", Deidara retorted. Hidan glared at him.
"Why does Deidara have to be leader?", Hidan said, as her narrowed his beady, little gaze on Deidara's shadow.
"I never said I was Leader-", Deidara started. Hidan scoffed and retaliated just as Deidara was about to speak on...
"FINE I'M LEADER!!!", he said bravely, puffing his chest out a little before wincing and letting it go.
"NO YOU'RE NOT!!! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH TO EVEN COUNT AS A FULL MEMBER!!!!", Deidara roared. Sasori groaned as he clicked his new leg into place.
"Would you two shut up! I'm the oldest out of us so i'll be Leader", he said plainly. The whole group just stared at him.
"And what gives you the right to butt into our conversation?", Deidara said with a glare.
"Yeah Sasori!", Hidan shreiked, backing Deidara.
"I just said then, i am the best candidate for Leader. So i'll take it", he said expressionless...
"Actually, I think I would be a better Leader", a shadowy figure stepped out from the foliage. Tobi smirked as Pein walked forward, into the camps perimeter.
"W-W-What!?!?! Leader-sama I'm so sorry!! Please forgive me!!", Deidara whinned as Pein fixed his sliver-red eyes on the blonde artist.
"You all thought I was dead didn't you?", Pein hissed.
"But, what happened? We burried your body after we found it in the cave!!!!!!", Deidara said, backing up against the tree, a mightily cheesed off Pein, right on his heels. Pein roared with laughter.
"This is why you guys aren't Leader !!!! You can't even tell the difference between a shadow-clone and a real body!!!!!", he hissed, pressing the poor blonde boy further into the tree...Deidara whimpered and reached into his pockets.
"Pein-sama...", Pein spun around to focus on Tobi.
"WHAT?", Pein hissed evilly.
"Catch...", Tobi said unblinking as he tossed a sharpened kunai into Pein's shouder. he hissed again as the knife sliced through...water?
"Nice one Kisame, but too agressive. Pein-sama isn't that nasty, he's just got a bad case of MPMS...", Tobi said smiling as Deidara turned a really pissed off look in the shark-ma's direction.
"I'm sorry, Itachi-san isn't here anymore so I need someone else to annoy...", Kisame smirked. Tobi nodded and stepped out of the shadows...
"I think I should be leader...", he said carefully choosing his words...
"Why? Because you were Pein-sama's favorite?", Deidara hissed leathally at him.
"No, because Pein trained me to do this type of stuff if he ever was killed. It was a little precaution he took to ensure we didn't end up like this...", he said, eyeing each member slowly.
"I really don't care...", Deidara huffed and walked over to his camp. The others mumbled and shifted to their places. Tobi smirked. Pein-sama...I won't let them turn into complete idiots... I'll make you and Konan proud! The little Uchiha said silently in his head. He's beat Deidara fair and square to gain entry intot he organization, Deidara hated him for it and spent years trying to find ways to over come HIS sharingan. Itachi was an easy match, his chakra lied somewhere between taijutsu and ninjutsu...not a good combination for using the sharingan to it's full potential... Tobi on the other hand, had actually managed to acumulate enough chakra to use the THRID level sharingan. Itachi's was no match for the little Uchiha's... He walked over to his small rug and closed his eyes...
"Tobi-sama?", Kisame said quietly. Tobi didn't even flinch...
"TOBI-SAMA!!!!", he said loudly. Twin Daregyouku stared out from under his half closed eyelids.
"What?", he asked ,rushed.
"Wow! What happened to your eyes?", he said, forgetting everything he had wanted to say. Tobi closed his eyes and reopened them a few seconds later to reveal peircing, onyx eyes...
"It's nothing. Go back to sleep...", he said as he, himself, settled down under his covers. Kismae shrugged and walked off. Seriously Pein-sama, how did you put up with them? Theye're like a bunch of three year olds... He said to himslef as he drifted off to sleep...
Sasuke watched the sun rise over the far away hills. Great time to wake the kids... He said to himself as he watched the sunlight slowly roll its way across the forest floor, lighting the many brightly coloured beetles that had gathered overnight. They were harmless forest bettles...scavengers looking for dead leaves and insects. He shoved his sandal covered foot, gently into Daimen's side. He jumped up instantly, fangs bared.
"Grrrrrr!!! Le'me at 'em!!!!!", he growled. Sasuke shook him head. Obviously the kid had some issues...
"Daimen, shut up. They'll hear us, you foghorn!", Sasuke said as he gently prodded the little sister...
She looked up at him with jade-green eyes smiling.
"Is it that time already, Unkie Sasuke?", she moaned, not quite awake yet... He smiled and picked her up. He placed her on his back as Daimen brushed the leaves off of himself.
"Okay kiddies, we've got to get to Konoha today, okay? It's not far, but we need to get past those men",he said, sounding quite like an army officer. The two little ones nodded, and started to follow him...
Tobi threw his sandal at Deidara and Hidan. They'd aquired this funny habbit of sleeping extreemly close to each other ever since Pein died. Deidara moaned and whacked Hidan across the bridge of his nose. Hidan let out a rather loud stream of curses...
"FUCK!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING DEIDARA!!!!! I SAID KEEP ON YOUR SIDE DAMN IT!!!!!", Hidan cursed, through strangled vocal-chords. Tobi lauged at himself as he saw them fight...
"I WAS ON MY SIDE YOU DUMBASS!!!! KEEP ON YOUR SIDE!!!" Deidara screamed back at him. Kisame, Sasori and Kakuzu all groaned sleepily and lifted theor heads towards the commotion.
"OHH YOU WANNA GO DEIDARA!!! COME ON BUDDY!! HAVE A TASTE OF IMMORTAL GOD DICKHEAD!!!!!!!" Hidan retaliated. Deidara got up and prepared himself, while Hidan reached for the scythe, burried somewhere underneith his covers. Deidara was too fats, flinging his whole body weight onto the defenceless Hidan. Hidan yelped as Deidara's body came crashing down on to of him. Deidara smirked just before Hidan's metal scythe skimmed just above his ponytail. He yelped and pushed the weapon out of Hidan's hands. Tobi started laughing loudly at them and started to walk over to the fighting couple.
"You two, cut it out! No gang bashing here please... I don;t think we really need anymore members missing in action...", he smirked. The two looked at each other and began to separate their things... Tobi was still laughing as he packed his stuff away. The other three had gone for a scout, so he was stuck with the pre-schoolers... Great...
A/N: Hahaah!!!! LOL!!!! ROFL!!!!! Tobi can be really nasty!!! That was soooooo funny though!!!
"YOU WANT A PIECE OF IMMORTAL GOD BUDDY?".
"OHH YEAH! BRING IT!!!", LOL!!!!!!!!! Now that's comic entertainment!!!!! Ohh well next chappie due whenever...keep posted though just incase I change my mind!!
By the way: if you haven't figured it out already...MPMS Male PMS... Just thought it would be less confuzzling if I out it out there...