Here's a semi-long chapter, because we love you.

~Marcelle and Val

The captain curled his pale fingers around the armrest of his chair, the need to hold onto something to keep him grounded pertinent. Their shields were up at one hundred percent, but after one hit, they were down to seventy four. The impact of the explosion rocked the ship in the slightest, but no damage had occured. A few more hits, and they could be faced with no protection left and a very scary hostage situation. Of course, Kirk did not plan on subjecting his ship and his navigator to anything of the sort. He was not taking those kinds of risks anymore-or at least, not right now. Luckily, being the genius that he was, Pavel had aimed towards the part of the ship that would sustain the least damage, the garbage disposal area of the ship.

A small portion of the ship, it would have had no lives lost had their shields been down. Of course, that was what Pavel had been aiming for, he supposed. The garbage disposal area was basically a small room at the very bottom of the ship, where any particle of waste was sent. There were chutes and tubes leading down to the garbage disposal, dropping everything unnecessary there. The room wasn't manned by anyone. In fact, the captain could check on the room levels from the con, and never have to even go near it all. They didn't think about it until the end of every mission, when they went back to the dock, where routine ship checks would occur and the garbage disposal room would be emptied.

Though tears were still falling from the young man's eyes, trailing down his red cheeks, there was a smirk across his thin lips. Kirk had to sit back in his seat, a look of awe upon his face. He had no clue if the crying had been an act, to make it believable to Harewood that he was just a bad shot and had aimed wrong. Perhaps it hadn't been acting at all, his pain was all from the inside. Whatever the case, he knew that the young ensign had purposefully sent a missile towards the garbage disposal, to minimize any chance for damage.

There was a collective breath being let out by the crew. Though there were undoubtedly many people running around below deck, wondering what had just happened, no one came bursting into the con to ask questions. The negotiations were still going on, full fledged now. The wicked grin of excitement had been wiped from Harewoods face, and his grip on Chekov's shoulder had him wincing in pain, wriggling in an attempt to escape from his grasp. The only thing that Thomas Harewood could manage to spit, through gritted teeth, was a fake attempt at concern. "Is everyone alright, Captain?" He asked, eyes narrowing to slits and eyebrows drawn down in anger.

Kirk took a moment to look around the bridge, taking in the looks of confusion and awe. Bones had his eyebrows arched in surprise, but was focused on the look of pain on their crewmember's face. He was trying to gage the amount of physical damage being done by just looking, no doubt. Uhura had stood from her position at the console, hands covering her mouth, tears welling in the corners of her eyes. Kirk knew this was particularly hard on the communications officer, as she had essentially been separated from the only person she considered to be a son to her. He wanted to be able to comfort her, but he knew that to be more of Spock's duty, although whether or not he would realize it was yet to be seen. The Vulcan had his gaze locked on the screen, no more emotion across his features than was usual.

"Yes, it appears everyone is fine. Thank you for your concern," Kirk turned back to make eye contact with his adversary. Though he felt the need to stare the man down, he couldn't help but keep looking at Pavel. He had never known how brave the boy was. To be forced to carry out dastardly orders from an enemy was one thing. To find a loophole and try to save the lives of many, though his own was in jeopardy, was another. And to think that it had been hardly any time since Jim had considered Pavel incapable of coming along on a negotiation mission. His entire view on the young man had only been heightened-the captain didn't know any other men who would have the courage, intelligence, or sheer skill to do what Chekov could, and Kirk only wished he could have seen that much sooner than he had. He wished even more than Pavel hadn't needed to display his intelligence in the first place-and he wouldn't have had it not been for Jim's own stupid actions.

"Of course, Captain. It was quite lucky for you that you were hit in such a non vital area," Harewood growled, accenting the last few words and glaring pointedly at Chekov. After a moment of awkward silence, filled with menacing glares from Harewood, he looked back at the captain of the Enterprise. "Has my message gotten through to you despite our difficulties, Captain?"

"I don't understand why you want the blood, Harewood. What is it going to do for your daughter?" Kirk replied, leaning back in his chair and trying to regain some of the cockiness back into his voice. He assumed that he had Lucy on his mind, but Kirk had figured Harewood would have already figured out that Khan's blood did not react well with Vulcan blood.

"Oh, Mr. Kirk. You really have so much to learn, don't you? I can hardly see why you would care about such trivial matters when you have Pavel here to think about."

Slowly, Harewood pulled his hand away from Pavel's neck. As the knife slipped off of his skin, a line of blood appeared, dripping slowly towards the collar of his uniform shirt. Reaching up with a shaking hand, Pavel's thin fingers wiped at the wound. He pulled his hand away, taking in the sticky red fluid covering his fingers, and his face crumpled. He seemed just as angry as anyone else to see what had happened to him. Grimacing, he prodded again at the small cut. It was not deep, nor fatal, but it seeped a message of what was to come. Obviously, Harewood had been expecting him to have better aim. His choice to display such loyalty for the Enterprise was a bad move in the eyes of Thomas Harewood.

"The last half of our hour is winding down to a close, Captain. I recommend listening to my terms, for you may not be as... fortunate as you were last time." His hold on Pavel's shoulder tightened as he gave him a slight shake. His curly hair bounced from the force, a few strands of brunette locks falling in front of his eyes, masking the hatred in his glance as he glared up at his captor. "You don't need to know anything about my reasons for wanting Khan. That was information I had no intention of sharing. Yet now you know my reasonings, I must ask you - is there anything you would not do for your family?" Harewood was staring the captain down, knowing he had him pinned. Using the man's own emotionally to play against him was a strategy he found useful. Had he been talking to someone of his own species, a man like Spock, he would have to work harder to get to him. With Captain Kirk, he could easily pull at his heartstrings and offer a little bit of give and take to get his way.

"I need to save my daughter, Kirk. If you had a child of your own, you would understand." He hissed, his own raw emotion escaping into the conversation. Though it was part of his strategy to prey on the Captain's kindness as much as possible, he hadn't ever meant to show his own vulnerability. Just thinking about Lucy made his heart clench, fear boiling into his blood. He needed to save her. If he couldn't get Khan revived and functioning enough to give a blood transplant, possibly even offere his own medical expertise, then little Lucille would never reach her thirteenth birthday.

"If you gave half of your genetics to a child, if you watched her grow up to be a beautiful young woman, if you had to stand by as she became independent and versed on the ways of the world... Had you watched the baby you made turn into a tiny adult, a living and breathing miracle..." He seemed lost, trapped in the memories of his life back on Earth with his family. He inhaled loudly, trying to clear his mind. "If you were a father yourself, Captain, you would not condone me for stopping at nothing to ensure that my daughter lives a long and healthy life." He spat out the last sentence of his speech with an angry finality to his voice that made Kirk blink in surprise. He would have never thought Harewood to show this side of himself. He would have never thought that his own enemy would make him dig down into his heart and actually consider things from the perspective of a father.

Though Kirk had met Bones' daughter Joanna, he had never talked to the medical officer about what it was like to be a parent. Many times, he found himself wondering what kind of father he would be while he was nursing a drink after a long day. When it came to the topic of marriage, of a future with a family, his thoughts were drawn to his own father. He had been selfless, determined to save the life of the son he had never gotten to meet, though it cost him his own existence. Many people had told him what a brave man his father was, but he would have wanted to know him personally. How different would his childhood have been if he had had a father figure in his life, a man he was genetically connected to, to care for him. He had a stepfather, but it was not that same. He was never given a chance to have that one basic human experience, of a family.

That was one of the reasons he often thought about being a father. He knew, planned or not, that he would be there for a child that was his own. Though he had promiscuous tendencies, the captain couldn't help but fantasize about the dream family he could have. A wife who loved him, a house with a picket fence, a toddler stumbling about in the yard, another baby in his arms. He wanted to be a great man to fill his own father's shoes. At the same time, he wanted to be a great dad to make a son or daughter proud. Thinking about that perfect life in his mind, he tried to picture it differently. Instead of whitewash fence, a sterilized white room in a hospital. A wife under the stress of severe worry, a baby slowly deteriorating in front of his eyes as a sickness took control of their life and sent it into a downward spiral.

Shaking out of the nightmarish thought, he stared hard at Harewood. Perhaps it was the intense scarring, or the Vulcan background, but Kirk could barely pick up the hints of emotion in the mans face. This was a man broken down over time, cracked under the duress that an ill family member put him under. Yes, Jim Kirk could understand stopping at nothing to save the life of his child. His heart was torn-he knew what was morally right, and also what his soul told him was good intent. Though Harewood should have never been in this position, should have waited for treatment on the ever-long donor list, Kirk understood why he teamed up with Khan. He didn't want to say that it was reasonable, that it made sense to him - but it did. Would he have done the same if he were in that position? He couldn't be sure, but his track record of brash action showed a pattern he could not deny. He would have came up with a way to save his child, plain and simple, which was exactly what Harewood had done.

His training told him that though he understood the man, he could not sympathize or show any signs of mercy. Harewood had gone much too far for him to simply brush him aside as a conflicted father. Now, this man was an enemy of Starfleet, and it was Kirk's job to take him out. Just like he had Khan. And if it meant dying again, well...it would be worth it, because Pavel was worth it. Any one of them would have been worth it to him, because they were his family. As much as Kirk fantasized about settling down with a wife, he knew that his crew was the family he had dreamed of, the people that would unconditionally love him. He didn't need a picket fence as long as he had them-he just wished it hadn't taken a kidnapping to put that into perspective.

"Here is what I propose, Kirk," Harewood did not wait for an answer on the captain's behalf, and honestly, Kirk was grateful for this. He wouldn't have known how to respond-his emotions, his morals...everything was thrown into a frenzy because of this man, and Jim couldn't vocalize it until he had figured it out himself. "You give me the coordinates of Khan and his crew, and I will give you your little Russian back in exchange. We can make this very simple indeed, Captain, but it is your decision. I only hope you will make the right one."

"You're just assuming that I know the coordinates?" Kirk questioned, folding his arms across his chest. They were currently in a very tricky situation. Though the Captain was aware of the coordinates of the planetthat Khan was kept on (every Starfleet captain was told to steer clear of it by law) he couldn't just go around, giving them out to every evil villain who asked for them. However, he was determined to save Pavel, and this might be his only chance. The logical part of his brain told him to contact Starfleet and call in for help, but he knew Harewood would find out if he did so-and he would take it out on Pavel, or once again on the Enterprise itself. The mist prevented them from beaming down, and even though it was not active right now, they obviously could not send anyone down if if they wanted to. They couldn't let anyone leave the bridge without Harewood noticing, and they probably wouldn't be able to send any forms of communication to Starfleet surreptitiously enough. Harewood had them trapped on their own ship, and he was taking as much of an advantage of the situation as he could.

"The Enterprise played the most pivotal in Khan's downfall, in fact you could say that you did all of the work cleaning up Admiral Marcus' mess. You would be the first Starfleet would turn to if something were to happen with the Augments again, however unlikely. Of course you would know the coordinates, I am certain that you do. Do not test me, Captain. Do not make this more difficult than it must be." His voice was calm, almost as though he were trying to sooth the captain with hushed tones. Perhaps he had hoped to be convincing. No matter the reason, Kirk found it disturbing how gentle his adversary was being with him. He had seen the destruction that that man could cause, and there was no way he could ever let his guard down enough to trust him.

"So what if I did have the coordinates you're after?" Kirk challenged, voice rising in rebellious tones. "Who says I would hand them over to you? That's a high profile subject you're looking into. According to Starfleet regulations, whether or not I did have the coordinates, I couldn't just simply give them to you without a fuss."

"Oh, but Captain Kirk, there has most definitely been a fuss." At this, he gave Pavel's shoulder another squeeze, and the navigator winced. It almost looked like a fatherly gesture, to put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, yet there was nothing supportive in the movement. "Is it really worth it to withhold this information from me when there is so much on the line for both of us?"

"There's no guarantee you'll hold up your end of the deal, Harewood," Kirk reasoned, narrowing his eyes.

"And you have proved to be just as trustworthy as well," Thomas shot back without a moments hesitation. "After your little display of arrogance I have no confidence in you either, Mr. Kirk. But still I offer you this one last chance. Should you choose not to comply I will be left with no other option but to, ah, dispose of your navigator. I daresay you will have a difficult time filling his place."

The gravity of the words slammed down on Kirk, a sensation much like he had felt in the warp core filling every inch of him. He had to give Harewood the coordinates. He had to, or the baby of the ship was going to die before he'd even had a chance to live. There was no way Kirk was going to let that happen, not if he could help it. And he knew he could help it. He had the information Harewood wanted literally in the palm of his hand, he could give it to him in seconds and be done with it. Pavel would be back and safe with them and he would never again have to worry about if he was going to survive the day, or if he would have to hurt the people he loved. It could all be solved with a few numbers, by pressing a few buttons. It seemed so easy... so why was Kirk still sitting there, debating with himself as usual?

Because this was against Starfleet protocol. Everything they were doing was getting him another step closer to being demoted-again. Kirk tried to convince himself of this, tried to get him to believe his own words. He couldn't give Harewood the coordinates because Starfleet would not allow it. But he knew even as he thought it that this was not the case. When had he ever cared about Starfleet regulation when the lives of his crew were on the line? Pike had once said that Jim didn't respect the chair, but he hadn't seen him when Spock was in the volcano. He hadn't seen him when the Enterprise was seconds away from destruction. And he couldn't see him now. If Christopher Pike had just once seen Kirk at moments like these, he might have thought differently.

Kirk had complete faith that Pike would do the same thing, had he ever been faced with the choices Jim was. His problem was not that he didn't respect the chair. It was that he respected it too much. Kirk respected his position as captain too much to keep it at the cost of a boy's life. It didn't matter to him if he was demoted or if Starfleet didn't want him at all after this (the latter seeming the more realistic option) as long as he saved the lives of his crew and returned them home safely, with everyone aboard. To him, being captain wasn't about being in charge or following every rule and regulation. It meant being a leader, a man who was fearless in the face of danger. A captain should be able to take leaps of faith, to stop at nothing to protect his ship. Sacrificing his life for the people he held most dear was not a hard decision to make, it was practically instinct. He knew as captain that this was expected of him - that was the standard that he held himself to. He looked up to the men who offered their lives for their line of work, no questions asked. He strove to be as great as his father had been, as Captain Pike had been. But he wasn't sure if he would be able to reach that goal now, not with the choice he was faced with. How did you decide between the world, or the little brother who was your world?

"No one could take his place…" Kirk murmured, more to himself than to anyone else around him. His head was spinning, his thoughts a blur. He couldn't just give up on his prize navigator, the young mathematics prodigy. At the same time, if he gave the coordinates to Harewood, he would revive Khan, who would be more hell-bent than ever to stick to the path of destruction. Together, the two could cause universal chaos. Add in the fact that Khan can't exactly die, thanks to his super-charged blood, and you've got an endless reign of terror. Yet someone more important was sitting in front of him, blue eyes wide in fear, and Kirk was forced to admit that as impervious as Khan was, Pavel was not immortal. Every second he wasted thinking about it was a second closer that the young kid was to his death, and the Captain wasn't sure if he would be able to stop the clock.

"Time is slipping away from you, Captain," Harewood hissed, as though reading his thoughts, an excited gleam in his eye as he leaned in towards the screen, half of his mouth pulled up in his signature, sinister grin. "I am not a patient man. What will it be, Mr. Kirk? Your Russian..." at this, his grip on Pavel's shoulder tightened to the point of unbearable pain. Pavel jerked back, eyes shut tight, gasping as he tried not to cry out. "For the coordinates to my companion." He smirked. "The choice should be easy for you."

"I suppose that marks our differences then, doesn't it? Unlike you, the life of one is worth the lives of a thousand, to me." Kirk narrowed his eyes, his tone of voice gravelly as the pressure of the situation bore down on him. He was finally feeling the stress begin to break him. He could only imagine how Pavel felt, which made his decision even more difficult. He knew the boy would claim, if Kirk were to choose Khan over him, that it would be fine. That it was for the best, that he knew it was better to save many lives than his own. Khan could cause mass destruction. Yet to abandon his navigator would destroy his very being. He believed that no man would ever be left behind or come to harm as long as he could help it. Giving away the coordinates to unleash Khan... that was deadly. This was the hardest decision of his career that he would ever have to make, and he was stuck.

The conflicted man took a deep breath through his nose, letting it out slowly on an exhale. He clenched the armrests of his chair, closed his eyes, and nodded once. "Alright, Harewood. You want coordinates, you've got them," He muttered, eyelids blinking open to reveal his electric eyes dulled by weariness.

"Captain, what are you attempting to accomplish from this?" Spock stepped forward from his position at the console, hands folded primly behind his back. Though the man was typically without any sort of emotion, there was a confusion spread across his face. His pointed eyebrows were raised, dark eyes flickering with what almost looked to be like panic. For the first time that day, Kirk found himself considering what his first officer made of all this. Though he typically consulted with the Vulcan, he didn't think to even hesitate to take the time to ask for his opinion in this matter; he assumed that his friend would agree with him wholeheartedly. Seeing the frustration in Spock's gaze brought another point to the captain's mind: what Spock had gone through with Khan he would never want to happen again.

Thinking back to that time caused Kirk pain in memories. He had heard of Spock's bravery and determination when it came to attacking to Augment, and essentially capturing him in the end to be able to take a blood sample. It was thanks to Spock that Kirk was still alive and breathing, after the miracle serum from Khan's super blood worked in restoring him back to health. Kirk owed Spock his very life, and they both knew it. Spock, however, had never acted as though Jim were indebted to him-in fact, the matter was avoided entirely when possible. And now, when Spock's advice would be needed the most, Kirk hadn't even asked for his opinion, and could have unknowingly sentenced his first officer to live his worst nightmare all over again. First his mother, then his best friend had died right before his eyes. Even though Kirk had come back, there still must have been scars from witnessing something like that, no matter how hidden on his heart they might have been. For all they knew, Pavel could be next, and Kirk honestly wasn't sure if Spock would be able to get through another death of someone close to him.

"I don't know, Spock. I don't," he admitted through a sigh, putting a hand to his forehead. "I guess I just... I can't lose him. I won't lose him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did." He admitted, fingertips running over the seemingly permanent creases etched in his brow. He hadn't been able to wipe the concern off of his face for days now, and it was beginning to show.

"If you give Harewood the coordinates you are not only breaking Starfleet code, but unleashing a powerful force back into civilization," Spock reasoned, his voice rushed and almost carrying a hint of desperation. He clearly was trying to talking his captain out of the decision, and Kirk almost found himself wishing he would succeed. He wanted Spock to choose for him, so he wouldn't have to, a weak moment of cowardice that James immediately felt shame for. He couldn't force this on someone else-he was the captain, and he had to decide. But now, just when he thought he had made up his mind, Spock was challenging him, just as he always did when Kirk thought he had it together.

"I know, I know, but if we don't he's going to kill Chekov-"

"Captain." This time, it was not Spock who was cutting him off. In fact, it was no one aboard the Enterprise. Kirk looked up to see Pavel's eyes lifting from the floor, slowing finding his in the glow of the screen. "My life is not worth everyone else's. Please, sir, you cannot step aside and watch him bring Khan back. I do not mean to sound forward, but I zimply cannot let zis happen. I do not want to be the reason for his return. Please. Do not give him ze coordinates."

It was the most selfless act of courage that Kirk had seen to date. Though he hadn't doubted that the ensign was a brave young fellow, it surprised him how willing he was to give up his life for the lives of others. For a moment, the Captain had to wonder if this was him giving up. Had Harewood's torture become too much? Was he willing to say whatever it took to keep the others safe, because he no longer cared for his own life? The pride he felt in the boy was so immense that it made his heart ache. His head was pounding as he considered what exactly the ensign had begged him to do. Chekov was basically telling Kirk to let him die. He was insisting that the captain should leave him behind with Harewood, whom he knew full well would kill him if the Enterprise did not do what he asked. And yet he didn't seem to care about himself anymore. Kirk silently cursed himself and boy, knowing that Pavel's hero-worshipping of him must have rubbed off, but not in the way Jim wanted.

Yet... for the first time in his entire history, Kirk was considering what it would be like to leave a crew member behind.