"Fraulein?" Captain asked for me as he knocked on my door.

I was still in a state of shock. I had gathered my strength up enough to finally get done changing into my blue dress. I was able to look in the mirror and maybe it is thanks to the dress, but I felt I had come back to myself when I put it on. I was able to smile a little and for me that was a step up from a couple of minutes ago. Now if only I could keep making steps from my bedroom to out the door and back downstairs. I just couldn't bring myself to do that yet and I've been sitting on my bed ever since.

"Fraulein?" Captain asked and knocked again. Oh boy, am I ready to face him?

"Come in," I say, weakly.

"I know you're in there," he said, kind of threatening. Maybe he didn't hear me?

"I said you could come in!" I almost yell. I rub my temples; I've come to the realization that today has given me a headache.

"Fraulein," he had softened his tone when he walked in. I didn't look up at him nor take my hands away from my head.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Um, dinner will be ready soon."

That was when I finally looked up at him. I felt pity for him the moment I did. There was a pain I didn't realize in his eyes from ever before. The scenes from the day play in my head and I realize I must be crazy for feeling sorry for this man. The pain in his eyes were for his ex-lover, not for his governess who he apparently likes to think screwed everything up.

"Captain," I was getting annoyed already. "Did you really come to my bedroom just to remind me about dinner?"

"No," he admits, swallowing hard. "I've come to apologize; I'm sorry."

"You should be," I respond rather bluntly. I was waiting for him to come back with something fresh but he didn't. Instead he just walked himself over to the window and stared out into the already fading sun. The pity I had felt a few minutes before had come back and I walk myself over to where he is. He gives me a smile when I join him.

"You know, a proper nun knows how to forgive and forget," I tell him. His smile broadens as he takes my hand and gives it a quick kiss. I couldn't have been more pleasantly shocked when he did that. With the hand that he kissed, he begins to lead me out of my bedroom.

"You will join us for dinner, won't you?" He asks.

"Won't I?" I asked, appalled. "It's a house rule that the governess eats meals with the children or don't you remember?"

"I just got carried away is all," he admits. After all, we were still hand in hand but both of us seemed to be in no hurry to let go. "Besides, you look wonderful tonight."

"You think I look wonderful?"

"I don't know what it is about the color blue but you look very nice in it. I know I shouldn't bring her up, but Elsa could never pull off the color blue."

"That's all right," I say. "She wrote me a note, you know."

"A note? Why you of all people? I don't think she said a word to the children..."

"She told me I won."

"What did you win?"

"I don't know and I guess you don't know, either."

"She's jealous."

"Jealous of me?"

"You are wonderful with the children and they love you so much, Maria. We both know that. Elsa couldn't form a connection with them and that was a big reason why she left. Elsa said I needed you more than I could ever need her. I told her that I loved her and she in turn told me she loved me too but not so much that she would sacrifice for my children. That hurt me deeply when she said that. My children are worth it, Maria."

He started to cry. My Lord, I never thought I would see the day. I didn't do anything to try to stop him either. He needs to feel this, I don't think he ever allowed himself to feel this.

"That's why I shut down when my wife died. Me and all the children were in mourning and it killed me to see them like that. If I could have saved them from themselves I would have, but I couldn't. I know I made terrible choices in how I raised them from then on but I needed to survive for myself. I know that sounds selfish..."

"It doesn't," I say, with tears in my own eyes now. If only he knew how much I actually understood.

"I know this house is loaded with staff. You the governess; Frau Schmidt, the housekeeper; Franz, the butler and the cook. I hired these people because even if I couldn't do it myself, I knew the children would be taken care of. If I wasn't here to make sure the children had you people, who would? At least my children have had what they needed, with or without me and their mother."

"You did a good job," I say, patting him on the shoulder. "You are doing a good job."

"So aren't you," he compliments, taking my hand again. "Let's go to dinner now, shall we?"

I agreed and we walked on. The children were there waiting for us when we arrived. They couldn't have had bigger smiles on their face when we walked in holding hands. We silently took our places and I said our dinner prayer as the prepared dishes came out. I said, "Amen," with a mouth full of drool over the delicious looking ham that was at the center of our table. The potatoes and the asparagus looked yummy themselves.

"Father," Leisl said as she dolloped potatoes onto her plate. "Where is Baroness Schraeder? I haven't seen her all day today."

"She is no longer here. She went back to Vienna," he bravely responded.

"Are we ever going to see her again?" Louisa asked.

"No, honey."

There was a collective silence when Captain told Louisa she wouldn't be seen again. I couldn't help but wonder what the children were thinking or feeling. Were they hurt she didn't even tell them goodbye? Were they happy she was gone?

"Fraulein Maria?" Brigitta asked.

"Yes, darling."

"Are you still going to be with us?"

I looked across the table at Captain when she asked me that. He smiled at me and I in turn smiled at him.

"Yes, I am staying," I said.

"You're all we need," she said. I looked around at all the children and even Captain nodding in agreement. I have never been so touched in all my life.