AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAck! I hate school with an undying passion! An ENOURMOUS apology to my readers for taking so long, I've been full with acting and homework and projects and whatever else my teachers love to give. I solemnly swear from here on out that you shall never have to wait this long for a new chapter ever, ever again. (Though it may still be a little more than usual since I'm writing another fanfiction at the same time. See Shalerunner in the Redwall section if you're interested.) Anyway…here we go everybody! Reviews are love! (And great cures for writer's block!)

Chapter five: The chapter in which many strange plot twists are revealed and the ridiculous princesses begin their diabolical plot

The young servant girl whose importance in this story seems nonexistent but is secretly a key character in the tale had been watching the princesses for some time, wondering if they were going to catch on to the scandal. When the entire escapade turned into an invitation to a tea party, she decided to go set things right.

"Who are you?" asked Cindy snottily, although princesses are supposed to be nice and sweet.

"I'm the young servant girl whose importance in this story seems nonexistent but is secretly a key character in the tale, but you can call me Meg."

"Meg?" asked Belle. "That sounds familiar! Are you a princess in disguise?"

Meg sighed. "That's not important. There's something you both need to see."

Belle and Cindy stared at her but nonetheless followed the girl across the square, where they could see two figures flying overhead. "Look!" shouted Belle, "Those people are flying!"

"I wanna fly!" cried Cindy grumpily. "Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?"

"Look," said Meg, "You can't fly, ok? It defies the laws of physics."

"Prince Charming can," said a mysterious young woman siding up to the group. "There he is! With some girl with ridiculously long hair!"

The princesses looked at this new guest, alarmed. "How do you know Prince Charming?" Belle and Cindy asked in unison.

"I'm married to him, DUH." said the new princess, not looking quite unlike a PEZ dispenser.

"You look like a—mmmph!" Belle's words were stifled by Meg's hand across her mouth, trying to prevent another discussion about hot pectorals.

"Déjà vu! Enough with the PEZ dispensers!"

"Déjà vu? Is that the new princess's name?" Cindy asked.

"My name is Snow White," she said prettily, and at the sound of her name several friendly woodland creatures began cleaning up the square. The princess pointed upward. "Look, Charming's still flying. Who's that girl he's with?"

"They're coming this way," said Meg. "Quick, help me grab on to her hair," for, due to the ridiculous length of Rapunzel's hair, there was a sort of ladder dragging on the ground from the flying couple.

"That's not polite," Snow White exclaimed.

"Never mind," said Meg, and grabbed the hair ladder as it came by. Rapunzel was quite rudely jerked to the ground, landing face-first in the dust. Prince Charming kept on flying, completely oblivious to the fact that his wife had been hijacked.

"OOOOOOWWW!" yelled Zel, standing angrily. When she saw her cousin she smiled politely. "Hello, Snow," she said. Then she frowned at the remainder of the group and said again, louder this time, "OOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You already said that," Belle commented politely.

"That's not the point," Zel pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. "You hurt me."

Meg rolled her eyes as Zel turned to Cindy and Belle. "Who are you two?"

"I'm Prince Charming's wife, Cindy," said Cindy before being elbowed in the side by Belle.

"I'm his wife, Belle," said Belle, before being elbowed in the stomach by Snow.

"I'M his wife," said Snow, and the three were dangerously close to hurting each other when Meg said, "You're all his wives, get over it."

Zel looked at them oddly. "I'm Prince Charming's wife," she said. "We just got married and defied the laws of physics together."

"I can see that," said Meg, watching the disappearing figure of the polygamist prince.

"And who are you, anyway," asked Zel. "You don't look like a normal princess."

"That's because I'm not a princess."

"Not a Princess?" the four gasped in perfect unison and complete and utter shock.

Belle attempted to give a knowing wink, but instead ended up blinking both eyes 'sneakily'. "That's because you're a princess in disguise, right?"

Meg stared at her. "No."

"That's ok," Belle said, blink-winking again, "I won't tell."

Zel stared at them all. "Um…" after pausing for a moment, she said, "You wanna have a tea party?"

Meg slapped her face in her hand in frustration. "Don't you get it? You're ALL MARRIED TO PRINCE CHARMING!! He's a polygamist!"

"No he's not, silly," said Cindy, "He's allergic to bumblebees!"

"And ghosts!" said Zel.

"Not a poltergeist, a polygamist!"

"I like to play games, too, but that doesn't make me a pol—eye—game—ist," Belle said sweetly.

"All this talk about games reminds me of something. Let's have a tea party!"

The other three princesses jumped about at Cindy's suggestion. Meg sighed and started to walk away.

"Aren't you coming?"

"She can't come," said Snow White, "She's not a princess!"

Belle blink-winked at Meg and said, "Don't worry, she'll…

BE…

OUR…

Guest, be our guest, put our service to the test,

Write the biggest check you'll ever see and eat some chicken breast

Soup au jousdeep-fried moose, why we love our pamplemousse

And the dinner here is never second-guessed

Just don't look at the menu or you'll leave our venue,

Wooden shoes

Poolie cues

BE

OUR

GUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!

After singing the last note rather off-key, Belle said, "Er…something like that!"

"What's a Poolie Cue?" Zel asked.

"I know! It's one of those thingies you use to train your poodle!" Cindy suggested.

"What's a poodle?" Snow asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Meg said. "Fine. None of you seem to care that Prince Charming is playing you all so I'll just handle this myself. He's probably getting married right now, and all you girls can think of is tea parties."

"Did you just say that Prince Charming is playing us all?"

"And that he's getting married right now?"

"Yeah," said Meg exasperatedly, "I've been saying that for the last three pages!"

"Pages?"

"Never mind that, Snow, I've just realized something!"

"What is it, Zel?"

"We're all married to Prince Charming!" Cindy announced as Meg slapped her head in her hand again.

"So?" Snow said.

"That means that…he's…he's lying to us! We're all his wives! We have to do something!"

"My gosh, that's awful!" The rest of them exclaimed. Their faces suddenly turned from sweet and princessy to grim and determined.

"We have to get back at him," Belle said.

"Finally!" Meg cried. "I know where he's going next. We can stop him and get him before his next catch."

"He's going fishing?"

"For mermaids!" Cindy cried, but Zel gave her a look. "There's no such thing as mermaids."

Suddenly, a large porcelain bathtub on wheels appeared before the princesses, propelled by rocket boosters. The bathtub was not of interest to the princesses, however. It was what was contained inside…

"Hi," a 15-something year old girl with red hair and an uncomfortable-looking seashell bra said. "I'm Ariel. What's all the commotion about?"

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Hopefully I made up for the wait with length and humor. Please review; let me know what needs fixing!