A/N: SO SORRY for this really late update and the lack of updates. My laptop screen broke and I have no way of updating because I can't update on my phone though I am writing the rest of it on my phone. I am literally at the library signing up for courses and just remembered that I have this chapter and should post it. No clue when I'll post the next one but this story is almost finished, only two or 3 chapters left after this so we're rounding third and bringing it all home. Hope you guys enjoy and aren't too pissed off at me after =P
Beca got a text from Aubrey as soon as she parted ways with Catherine. Coincidence? Who knows.
Chloe had woken up and they were back at their apartment. Part of Beca was angry at Aubrey for waiting so long to call her and part of her was relieved that she wouldn't have to go back to the hospital to see Chloe the way she was.
Letting out a small sigh of relief, Beca headed to Chloe's apartment.
To her dismay, Aubrey answered the door, but she didn't really care about picking a fight at that point. She just wanted to see Chloe. She brushed past the blonde senior and headed straight for Chloe's room to find her on her laptop in bed.
"Becs, hey." Chloe said as she shifted and sat up more. Beca entered the room fully and went to the edge of her bed, hesitating before crawling in it next to Chloe.
"You get some serious bad ass points, Beale." Beca told Chloe with her sarcastic grin. "And you also get some stupid points. A lot of them, actually." The DJ added as she let Chloe rest her head on her shoulder, letting out a comfortable sigh. "How are you feeling?"
"As well as you can for blacking out and having your stomach pumped. Repeatedly." Chloe replied, obviously embarrassed.
"The important thing is that you're alright. I swear to God I've never been so scared in my life. I was so close to rushing the ER and saving you myself." Beca said.
"Oh yeah? Do tell how you would've done that." Chloe teased.
"Hey, marathoning 7 seasons of Grey's Anatomy has taught me a thing or two. You may be pre-med, but I know the Grey Method." Beca joked as Chloe let out a small laugh.
"Well thank you for coming to the hospital and staying with Aubrey, she doesn't do the well in those situations. I'm sure I probably ruined your night...sorry about that." Chloe told her in a heartfelt tone.
"You didn't ruin anything." Beca whispered. "Shit happens. And I didn't show up for Aubrey...You know I'd do anything for you, right? I'm not upset with you, I'm worried." Beca told her as she rested her chin on top of Chloe's head.
"You have nothing to be worried about. It was an accident. I'm an idiot. Life goes on." Chloe said simply. Beca shook her head.
"You're the responsible one out of all of us, especially with alcohol. You know your limits better than anyone but you kept drinking. You can tell me anything Chlo. Is something going on? Did something happen?"
"Jesus Beca, I told you it was an accident! Even the seemingly most perfect people make mistakes sometimes, can you stop making this something more than it is? I already had to deal with this shit from Aubrey and my parents and I really don't need it from you. Out of everyone I expected you to be the one to not give me so much shit for this. I said I'm sorry, I fucked up. Let's just get over it." Chloe said angrily as she pulled away from Beca and went over to her closet, pulling out a few items of clothing.
"Don't get upset with me for caring, Chlo." Beca told her as she hugged her knees to her chest and watched The red head continue to sift through her closet.
"I'm not. I'm upset for you accusing me of something more, just like Aubrey did." Chloe huffed. Beca bit her lip and turned away, casting her gaze downward and hesitating before continuing.
"So...you didn't drink a ton because you don't like Catherine then?" Beca questioned.
"Do you hear yourself and how ridiculous you sound Beca? Out of all the reasons you could come up with, that's the one that seems right? Talk about self centered." Chloe told her angrily.
"All I know is that Catherine did something nice for all of us and you were the only one throwing her shade all night. Everyone noticed." Beca told her.
"Yeah well incase you didn't notice, saint Catherine was throwing me shade too. That's also something that everyone noticed." Chloe told her as she pulled off her top to replace it with a clean one.
"Chloe...this is ridiculous...I really don't want to fight with you, we've definitely hit our quota on that for one year. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all." Beca defended. She immediately regretted pushing this conversation. The last thing these two needed was another fight between them.
"Fine. Whatever. We have Bellas rehearsal in 45 minutes. You should probably get ready." Chloe told her before leaving the room.
Beca just shrugged and left the apartment, the dirty glare from Aubrey not going unnoticed.
To say that Bella's rehearsal was tense was an understatement. Beca was working with the the co-captains, or well, trying to. Chloe was actively participating with everyone but Beca, and Aubrey was nitpicking everything down to the core and it was driving Beca crazy. Finals were in a week and it was crunch time, and as far as Beca was concerned there was no time for any animosity.
"This needs to be aca-awesome." Aubrey stressed as the girls took a water break and she walked up to where Beca was at the piano.
"I know and Aubrey it will be. You need to trust it and stop picking everything apart...let the music flow. We've got a great routine, we can't start throwing wrenches into it now." Beca explained.
"I'm just stressed! There's a lot riding on this for me!" Aubrey exclaimed, drawing all the girls attention.
Beca shrugged. There was no reasoning with her. Aubrey was an uptight, anxious, perfectionist.
"Alright everyone...let's do it from the top with the changes." Beca groaned.
A three hour practice ended up lasting five, and Beca was too tired to even be excited it was over. As the girls left the rehearsal space, Jesse caught Beca by the arm and pulled her to the side.
"Jesus, Jesse! You scared me." Beca said as she gave her goofy friend a punch to the arm.
"Ow!" He yelped.
"I just wanted to hang out, not get assaulted!"
"Well you're going to have to accept the latter, I'm heading over to Catherine's." Beca told him.
"Wow between girlfriend #1 and girlfriend #2, I hardly get any time with you." Jesse protested and Beca turned to him and raised her fist to punch him again "Okay! Okay! Easy there million dollar baby, I'll catch you later." He said as Beca laughed and began to walk across campus to her girlfriend's place.
Beca knocked eagerly on the door of her girlfriend's sorority house for the third time.
'Where the fuck is everyone? It's not that late...'
Finally the door was thrown open by one of her sisters.
"She's not here." The girl said bluntly before attempting to close the door, but Beca stuck her combat boot in front of it to halt the motion.
"What do you mean? I saw her light on." Beca asked confused as hell.
"It's not a good time Beca, trust me. And between me and you, I think you're cool and I'm trying to spare you the amount of shit you're going to get if you come in here right now."
"Well, between me and you, you're being ridiculous. I want to see my girlfriend." Beca told her, pushing past her and heading upstairs. The glaring eyes of the other sisters around should've been enough of a warning that Beca wasn't walking into a desired situation, but Beca's middle name was dense, and she couldn't pick up a signal if her life depended on it. She approached Catherine's room and lightly tapped on the ajar door before slowly entering.
"Hey babe.." Beca started to say before noticing that Catherine and her roommate Nicole we're sitting on Catherine's bed, and her girlfriend was crying.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Beca asked as she quickly went over to the pair. Catherine just nodded at a worried looking Nicole and the blonde quickly got up and left the room.
"You told me you wouldn't lie to me about Chloe." Catherine sniffled.
"I-I didn't. I told you everything." Beca stated.
"I know you did, I believe that. I just don't believe you when you say you don't want to be with her or vice versa."
"You're kidding me, right?" Beca asked.
"No. It's not convincing, at all. You two try and play it off as you're just close friends, but you're insanely jealous of everything each other does and you can't take your eyes off each other for more than ten seconds when you're around one another. I don't blame you, I blame myself for overlooking everything..." Catherine softly said.
"Stop right there. There's..."
"What? 'Nothing going on'? I've heard that before Beca! And everything I actually see, contradicts that."
"I swear to God, Catherine! We just talked about this!"
"Yeah, we did and I thought I was okay with it but I'm not. You're both idiots to keep denying it Beca! And I'm an idiot for staying involved. No matter what happens...you're going to want her and she's going to want you and you both need to get your heads out of your asses and stop involving other people!"
Beca opened her mouth to speak but once again, Catherine beat her to it.
"And stop denying it! Just stop!"
"I HAVE to deny it, because it's not real! It couldn't ever be real! We are heading our separate ways and I am trying to move on with my life and with YOU." Beca shouted with frustration.
"Life doesn't work that way! We could continue this, me knowing what I know, and then Chloe could re-emerge and I could end up hurt, and all cause you two are too stupid to address what you have now. Do you really want to see me more hurt than I am now?" Catherine asked.
"And what about me? You really want to hurt me now, so I could eventually get hurt again and be alone forever?"
"Chloe wouldn't hurt you." Catherine said as she looked Beca straight in the eye.
"She already has. Remember? She felt the same but couldn't let it happen because she's leaving."
"Sounds like she was looking out for you. More so than herself."
"This is ridiculous. You're my girlfriend, why are you pushing me towards someone else?" Beca asked exasperated.
"Because I love you. And I want you to be happy." Catherine told her as she stood up and walked over to Beca.
"You...you love me?" Beca asks, bewildered. Catherine nodded and pulls the small DJ in to a tight embrace.
"I do. You're an amazing person Beca and we've had a lot of fun, but we can't continue this. It wouldn't be what's best for both of us."
Beca pushes herself out of Catherine's embrace. "No! You can't tell me that you love me and break up with me in the same sentence!"
"Bec. We got close and I always want to be your friend but look at it from my point of view, what if instead of you and Chloe it was me and Nicole with the confessed feelings and the close friendship, you can't tell me that wouldn't make you feel awkward." Catherine tried to reason.
Beca shook her head. She couldn't believe this was happening.
"So this is it then? We're done? Everything you've ever told me was all just a lie, huh? And to think, people wonder why I'm closed off and don't let others in or trust anybody that crosses my path." Beca spat out. She was hurt beyond belief. Just when she finally felt that old Beca was laid to rest, here was another reason to build her walls up again, higher than ever at that.
"Bec, I know you're hurt...I never wanted that. But you're hurting yourself the most by denying your love for Chloe and by letting her keep you out. Why did you take no for an answer from her? You need to push and fight for it. True love can be once in a lifetime." Catherine told her.
"Stop with all the Chloe bullshit!" Beca exclaimed. "YOU were supposed to be different, you're supposed to be there for me. You said you would!"
"I am here for you! I'm trying to do what's right for both of us. It's not easy being in this position! I'm doing this because I care. You need to understand that." Catherine replied with fresh tears appearing.
Beca quickly felt her eyes stinging and getting misty. So this is what crying was like, huh?
"I'm not ready for this to end." Beca said quietly as she entered a state of shock rather than her earlier anger.
"I'm sorry." Was all Catherine said.
The pair sat in silence for a moment before Beca deciding that she needed to leave. She needed to distance herself from everything and everyone. Barely muttering a goodbye, she left Catherine's sorority house and headed for the only place she knew would be open this late; the dive bar.
Thankfully, she had held onto the fake ID Luke had made her and had no trouble getting served.
She drank whiskey and coke until finally after 3 of them her senses were dulled and she didn't feel anything except numb, which was all she wanted. She didn't talk to anyone except the bar tender and thankfully the bar was pretty dead so there was no chance she'd have to. She just sat and drank and let the bar music be her therapist for the rest of the night.
And you're a liar,
at least all of your friends are.
And so am I,
just typically drowned in my car.
It's my party and I'll cry to the end.
You must try harder than kissing all of my friends.
You.
It takes a bit more,
yeah it takes a bit more than you.
It takes a bit more,
yeah it takes a bit more than you.
About an hour before closing time, she decided to head back to campus. She had an all day rehearsal with the girls the next day and she new she was going to regret her actions tonight but at the same time she didn't really care. She had come to school and joined the Bellas to appease her father and although their relationship was on the mend, she had still been let down by two of the people she had stupidly let in.
When she got back to her dorm she set her alarm and crashed into her bed not bothering to change because what was even the point? No, sleeping and escaping her emotions were what was needed and that's exactly what she did.
She dragged herself to rehearsal the next day praying it would go by quickly and for the first time ever she was thankful for being hungover, it was a decent distraction from her thoughts. As she entered and put her bag down, she was approached by Chloe who had a coffee in a hand outstretched to her.
"Peace offering?" Chloe said as she looked at Beca with one of her light up the room smiles. The Chloe Beale smile was the last thing Beca could handle right now but it was hard to refuse any look Chloe gave her. She nodded and accepted the coffee, feeling thankful because God only knows she can't deal without her coffee.
"You look beat. You okay?" Chloe asked as the other girls began to filter into the Bellas rehearsal space.
"Yeah, just tired. Even though I'm allowed to have a say, Aubrey is still working us super hard."
Chloe only nodded as they turned their attention to Aubrey.
"Alright ladies, today we're going to run through our full routine until we have it down perfectly! Everyone take your positions, let's do this." Aubrey announced excitedly as the girls got into place.
The practice ran smoothly and as her hangover wore off, Beca even found herself laughing and joking with Fat Amy and Stacie like she usually did. It wasn't until she walked out of the rehearsal space that everything hit her all at once; Catherine had dumped her. She had no one to go and tell how pleased she was with the finals routine, no one to banter with, and no one to fall asleep next to. She had honestly never felt so alone, ever.
"Hey" a soft voice said, causing the small brunette to jump from the touch to her shoulder that accompanied it.
"Hey." She replied back plainly.
"Guess you're back to tensing up at my touch, that can't be a good thing." Chloe joked. Beca shuffled her feet and glanced at the ground.
"You just pulled me from my thoughts, as you usually tend to do."
"Good thoughts?"
"Not really."
Chloe frowned and linked their arms together.
"You wanna come talk about it at my place? Aubrey's pulling an all nighter with one of her study groups, and I would love to hang out like old times."
"Old times? As in when we'd drink and do things that'd make us fight? Sounds awesome." Beca replied sarcastically. Chloe rolled her eyes and gave Beca a light push.
"I promise we won't do any shots. Just hanging out and music." Chloe reassured her. It was actually a much better alternative to her emo playlist and a night of seclusion and self loathing. It's not like she had anything to lose, or anyone to care.
"I guess I'm down." Beca told her with a shrug and a grin.
"Dope!" Chloe exclaimed as she pulled Beca towards her apartment.
Song Credit: The 1975 "You"