Chapter 4: What Hurts The Most
"Okay ladies, from the top. And this time please don't make it sound like your constipated. The song is 'Flashlight' not 'Give Me A Laxative' k?"
Emily conducted the new Bella's the best she could, trying to get them to work as perfectly as they possibly could manage. Now that she was the new captain of the group she really was feeling the pressure that Beca must have felt back when she was just the new recruit. Since the last time she saw all the old Bella's she broke a few fingers sliding down the staircase and Fat-Amy laughed her ass off and called her a 'noob'. Trying to match Beca's great leadership, Emily worked hard to get the set list ready and to get the choreography down. She had been working constantly and had been distant from her boyfriend Benji, he always said that he never minded but whenever she had to miss a magic show he didn't talk to her for a full week.
"Okay okay everyone, we are done for the day and we will meet back here for tomorrow. Nina, please work on those footsteps and for gods sake Lauren please work on that solo. We want the audience to like us remember? When they scream and run out of the doors it means we had done something wrong. We don't want a repeat of what happened last time okay? Lets move"
As all of the Bella's walked out of the auditorium Emily stayed behind and worked on the mix for the mash up they were supposed to preform in the next few weeks. As she put her headphones on and worked on the songs she began to think on how she looked right now. She must of looked just like Beca, with the Dre Beats around her neck and her face close to a glowing computer screen. Her mind was drawing a blank when her phone vibrated on top of the piano, the light turning on and it showing that she had three missed messages from Benji.
"Hey Em, theres a letter here at the Bella house addressed to you. It seems fancy, I think you would be interested in seeing it. ill see you soon."
Emily looked at her phone and packed up her things from the auditorium. Shoving her laptop into her bag and keeping the beats around her neck, she walked out of the auditorium and drove back to the Bella house. She got out of her car and was exhausted from the day of rehearsal, her back aching and her head pounding. Her eyelids felt like they weighed twenty pounds each making it a challenge to keep them open. She opened the door to find Benji waiting on the couch closest to the door way, working on pulling a scarf from underneath his sleeve. When he heard the door opened he jumped up from the couch and threw the string of scarves behind him.
"Hey there Benji, you know this is a Bella house right? Do the girls mind you being here?"
"Well one of them threw a pillow at me and the others just ignore me perfectly. But its better than the one time when Jasmine threw a whole box of pizza at me... with the pizza still inside.."
"ahhhhh pizza... Oh hey sorry about missing your party last night, but I had to get the set ready and nail down the choreography."
"oh no its okay, I mean your nephew has a lot more birthdays to come after the first one right?"
Benji was an unbelievably forgiving guy and Emily knew it. She felt horrible for taking such advantage of him and him being so lean with her schedule but at the same time she was way to tired to care at the moment. She flopped her bag on the couch and threw herself right along side it. Letting out a long grunt of relief and moved her arm over her eyes. Benji gently moved her bag off of the couch being mindful of the computer that was inside of it. He gently placed it on the low set table that sat close to the couch. Once he had moved her bag he lifted up her legs and sat underneath them, laying them across his lap. He removed her shoes and threw them to the floor rubbing her tired, aching feet.
"mmmmm how did I ever get so lucky?"
"Your not the lucky one here Em, I am. Oh and the letter I texted you about."
Benji reached across her legs and grabbed a small, white, envelope from the coffee table handing it to Emily who now was sitting up with an arm around him, and a hand resting in his hair. She gently grabbed the envelope out of Benji's hand and tore it open seeing that it was from Cynthia. She silently read it to herself, her lips mouthing the words. When she came to the end of the letter she jumped up and threw the letter up above her head. Not remembering that her arm was first around Benji she accidently hit the back of his head, when she jumped up from his lap she had lost her footing and tripped over the coffee table that was in front of her.
"O M ACA-G! BENJI! CYNTHIA IS GETTING MARRIED! IM GONNA BE ABLE TO SEE ALL OF THE OLD BELLA'S. BENJI DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? HOLY SHIT ITS HOT IN HERE"
Emily dusted herself off from her previous fall and yelled at the top of her lungs. Benji slowly stood to his own feet and stopped Emily's flying limbs before she broke another picture frame like the time when she found out she got the gig at the old retirement home. She soon forgot all of her aching parts and danced in place, she was beyond excited from the news and she wanted to share the excitement.
"Benji! Cynthia-Rose is getting married! This means that I am gonna be able to see all of the old Bella's! I haven't seen them since World's! O my gosh maybe I can even ask Beca how to handle all of this Bella stress! O my gosh and Fat-Amy! and ooooo I heard Stacie and that Aubrey girl were together! aww they are so cute. I wonder who this Michelle Matt is, I bet she is a beautiful lesbian, not like not all lesbians are beautiful cause they are. But I'm not one I swear, not that there is anything wrong with them. I like dick. O my god am I rambling? I am so rambling aren't I-"
"Emily, breathe. It is wonderful you are gonna see the old Bella's but don't give yourself a heart attack. Now look at me and breathe. "
Benji grabbed Emily by the shoulders and pulled her in to lay a soft kiss on her forehead to calm her nerves and the excitement. He looked deeply into her brown eyes and she breathed in sharply when all of the aching came back. She smiled lightly at Benji's attempt to calm her and she spoke, now with a lighter tone and slower so Benji could actually hear her properly.
"Benji, I know I have been a huge dick lately and I know that I've missed a lot of your events. And I feel horrible for all of the time I have missed with you, and I understand if you want me to go bury myself alive but I would absolutely be honored if you would be my date for this wedding. It wouldn't be the same without you. Please?"
"Emily, I don't know. You have just been so separated from me I don't know if I should go. I've asked you to birthdays, magic shows, just on dates, and most of the time you have said no. Hell this is the longest I've seen you for without you checking a phone or a computer. I just...I love you and I am not sure if you feel the same. And I know that if you do I know you don't show it."
Benji's eyes softened as he lowered his hands from Emily's neck wiping them on his jeans. He licked his lips and he felt his heart pounding in every limb of his body, this was the first time he has ever really told Emily about how he really felt. Emily stood in front of him and she just took in what he just said to her. No words were spoken in for a good minute and a half before Emily found the words to speak. She felt her heart sink and tear well in her eyes. Her body went numb and thoughts just crashed in her mind, her not being able to focus on one for to long.
"Benji I..I am sorry. I just...I've been under such pressure with the Bella's my mind has kinda been on one track...But I do love you. I really do...please believe me"
"I don't know Em, I think I should just go...have fun at the wedding.."
And with those last words Benji walked out of the front door, he didn't make it long till he had to walk back in to retrieve the string of scarfs he was practicing with earlier. Once he picked up the scarf he fast paced walked out of the door once more not looking back. Emily watch as Benji made his way out of the door and she knew that he wouldn't be coming back. Tears flowed out of her eyes but she didn't sob, she just silently, blankly stared at the closed door as she felt her heart sink and herself go numb once more. She was left in alone, standing in the middle of the room as tears continuously streamed down her face. She said one more thing till she fell to the floor sobbing into her hands on her knees,
"I'm sorry Benji...I'm really sorry."