Thank you, a million times, thank you to my beta don'tcallmeLeeLee! You're awesome, bb! She also made the banner and graphics use for this story.

Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, I do not own Twilight, nor am I affiliated with any company that does own rights to any of it. The chapter title comes from "All To Myself" - Marianas Trench. I don't own that either.

*I Know You See Me*

*Jacob's POV – I Just Can't Decide What I'm Running From*

I walked swiftly down the beach; the shaking started and alerted me to how close the wolf was to the surface. I hadn't been this out of control since my first phase, and I knew exactly what was causing it. Bella had me so worked up that I was fighting to stay in control.

I ran faster, my heart was pounding out a rapid beat in my chest, and the blood was rushing behind my ears, muffling all the sounds that surrounded me. Everything except the sound of Bella sobbing from somewhere behind me was blocked out. It all felt so wrong, everything in my body was pointing me back to her, but I couldn't allow myself to fall for her words or the tears that were now falling from her eyes. She'd always been a master at playing me, making me fall to my knees in submission and offer my soul up on a platter only to have her look at me and tell me that it wasn't enough. Her love for the bloodsucker was different, stronger, than her love for me and she couldn't give him up. That had been her choice, no matter how hard I'd fought and how much I'd begged. What was the point of fighting for someone who didn't want you? So I'd watched her go, and I'd learned to live my life without her, if you could call what I did living.

I worked, I patrolled the reservation, and I occasionally went out with the guys. They'd all tried to tell me how to get over Bella; they thought I should find someone to take Bella's place, someone to fulfill my carnal desires with, and to help me forget about her. I knew that wouldn't work, but still I'd given in. I'd shared a bed with a couple women since Bella had left me, but neither of them worked out. They weren't who I wanted, and so it never seemed to last. I'd given up hope of moving on into a long term relationship with anyone, but that didn't take away my need to feel. I was a man with needs and desires, and so I'd given in to them, but there was still one problem though… they weren't her.

I missed her; I longed to feel her arms around me and her warm breath fanning across my neck as she held herself tightly against me. I wanted to be the only man that she needed or ever would need. I wanted to hold her at night as she slept, and wipe away the tears from her eyes when she was sad. I wanted to kiss her sweet lips whenever I felt like it. I wanted to take her to heights and pleasures like she'd never felt before. I wanted to feel her smooth, creamy skin slide against mine in delicious friction, hear her moans of ecstasy escaping her lips while my fingers danced along every inch of her skin. I wanted it all… but I wouldn't give in.

My pace picked up and I began sprinting toward the woods, pulling my clothes off as I went. I didn't glance back, I couldn't. It had taken every ounce of my strength to walk away from her after she said the words I wanted so badly to hear. Even after all this time, Bella had a spell over me that I didn't have the strength to fight against. One look into her eyes for the first time in five years and it had been like no time at all had passed. She was still the love of my life, the only person who would hold my heart, ever. Bella was the only woman that was made for me; there was no question about it, but I could be just as stubborn as she could be, and I wasn't going to back down from my anger just yet. I felt I had every right to be upset with her, and she'd brought this all on herself. No matter how angry I was though, she was still the girl I longed for…

The walls I'd carefully constructed around my heart cracked slightly and I had to fight not to turn back toward her as I ran over her words again and again. She loved me, she was in love with me and she wanted to be with me. But even knowing what I did now, I couldn't bring myself to give in and let her back into my life. I was a stubborn bastard, and I had to guard my heart this time.

I pushed my legs harder and felt my muscles tense, my bones snapping and realigning. I let the phase happen, I didn't hold back and soon I was running on four legs instead of two. My vision was sharper, my muscles tensed and relaxed with my movements, and my ears perked up to the broken sound of Bella still sobbing back down on the beach. I listened as she spoke the most blasphemous words I'd ever heard. She thought I hated her…

Didn't she know that was the farthest thing from the truth? I loved her more than I'd ever thought possible. She'd ruined me for any other woman; there would never be anyone else… I knew that now. I hadn't let myself move on enough to find anyone else; she was all I could see, even now. Bella had always been and always would be the girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. There was no me without Bella, but she'd done so many things to hurt me knowingly, I wasn't sure if there were ways of fixing this. I just couldn't let myself trust her. She'd changed her mind so many times in the past, and she'd known my feelings for her and still she'd not chosen me, not until it was too late.

As soon as Angela had pulled up, I'd known something was different. Everything in me was telling me to run, but I didn't know why. That's when I'd felt it. I'd known she was there, my body knew it, too, as soon as she'd stepped out of the car. The pull to her was like gravity and I'd wanted so badly to just go to her, pull her into my arms and tell her I missed her, I loved her and I forgave her. I wanted so badly to hug her and inhale her in a way I hadn't in much too long.

She'd been all I could hear, see and smell as soon as she'd walked onto that beach with Angela and Quil. I couldn't run… I'd been frozen right there where I stood as I'd inhaled deeply. Her scent was still buried in my nose and I knew I'd never forget it as long as I lived. I could smell and feel how much I affected her… and that knowledge was like a drug. She wanted me right there, at that very moment, and I'd been sorely tempted to take her and show her, who was the Alpha. But I'd stayed firmly planted…

She'd been turned on by me; the heady scent of her arousal had been mixed together with her ever present strawberries and cream I'd grown used to over the years. It had taken all my strength not to take her right there on the beach in front of all of our friends. Sure I was angry with her, but that didn't mean that I didn't want her. My cock had been so hard I could have cut glass with it and I'd had to turn away from her in fear that she'd see my lust clearly written all over my face, or straining against the material of my pants.

Bella had always been beautiful, but time had been very good to her… she was simply breathtaking, and I longed to tell her that and so much more. Maybe I was being a bit stubborn and ridiculous; after all, she'd apologized. But was that really enough? Was it too much to ask to see her beg for once instead of me?

I stopped at the edge of the forest and turned back toward the beach. I was at least two hundred yards from her, but I could still see everything that was happening. She was hugged tightly against Seth's chest, and she was crying. I could feel the walls around my heart split and crack a bit more as I watched her, and I knew sooner or later I would break completely. She would win, just like she always did. But that didn't mean that she didn't have her work cut out for her. She wasn't going to get me to bend yet, I was stronger than that. But seeing her so desperate, and knowing that it was all because of me tore me up inside.

I threw my head back and let loose a howl that said everything I couldn't with words. I was sad, broken and filled with longing mixed with a deep burning desire to claim what had always belonged to me... but I didn't give myself too much time to think about it, I couldn't. I'd just end up hurt; instead, I turned around, and ran as fast as my legs would carry me. I'd been the one to do the running this time… though I wasn't quite sure where I was running to. I ran until I couldn't anymore. I ran and didn't turn back...

*Bella's POV*

I awoke the next morning in my bed at my dad's house, still clothed in the same skirt and shirt from the night before. I twisted in between my sheets, stretching and adjusting my eyes to the morning light that was coming through my window. I sat up slowly, running my fingers through my tangled mass of hair. My eyes were still puffy and sore from all the crying I'd done last night and I had the start of a pretty nasty headache. Glancing around, I could feel a tiny smile pull across my lips, I hadn't been in this room for years but it still held so many memories.

I could remember very vividly the first time Jacob had jumped up into my window after he'd phased for the first time. His eyes so serious and his posture rigid, but his face had looked so hopeful. He'd gone against Sam's orders and come to see me, begging me that I remember the stories he'd told me on the beach. I'd heard every word, I'd even known what he was talking about at the time, but I hadn't been able to stop the rush of desire I felt as he stood there in front of me half naked. Jacob was hard not to notice, and it was that day that I realized that I wanted him. That was the first time I'd ever wished that I could be braver, that I didn't insist on hiding behind the wall of friendship that I'd built up around myself when it came to Jake. It was quite obvious I wanted more, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't let myself fall for Jacob and ruin what we had. No matter how much I'd wanted to touch him as he'd stood there in front of me with no shirt on, his arms flexing and his abs rippling in the most delicious of ways as he watched me… he'd watched me like he knew exactly what I was thinking about, despite all those things, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him how I felt.

I wanted to feel his hands on me, and his mouth against mine. I could only dream of what it would feel like to have him between my legs, feeling him move against, around and inside of me. I couldn't help but wonder why I'd never noticed before just how much I truly wanted Jacob, how much I loved him. But I'd also been beyond rational thought at that point, all I did know was how completely aroused I was and I was seconds away from pinning Jacob down on my bed and having my wicked way with him. But that wasn't what friends did, and I'd told him over and over again that I couldn't be with him. But that wasn't what I truly wanted, not anymore. Yet I'd still held him away, I'd pushed him too hard…

What had changed so suddenly? When had my feelings started shifting toward more? He'd not said a word that night about anything, but now that I thought about it, he probably had smelled me.

That thought stirred something within me and I realized I wanted him to. I wanted him to know just how much I wanted him and enjoyed looking at him. How could I have been so stupid? I'd had the opportunity to move on and be happy with a man I absolutely adored and loved more than anything on this earth, and I'd given it up because I couldn't get myself past the fact that we were just friends, not to mention the fact that I was a complete idiot and left him, but I digress.

"Bella," my dad's voice called from just outside my door. I looked down at myself just to make sure I was decent before telling him to come in. "Hey, honey, you should have called to let me know you were going to be in town."

"Well, uh… it was sort of last minute." I shrugged and I could feel the blush working its way up over my face. It wasn't a complete lie, but I didn't really want to tell my dad that I'd planned on seducing Jacob and I'd been hoping that I would end up in a different bed last night. I knew even Charlie wouldn't approve of such things no matter how much he wanted me and Jacob together.

My dad knew all too well about my fallout with Jake and he'd been pretty upset about it. I'd made a mistake, and I'd told him as much but that didn't really help smooth anything over. What had really cracked Charlie's usually calm demeanor was when he found out I'd hurt Jacob to chase after Edward Cullen. That was the final nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Charlie had known all along - and told me as much – that Edward was no good, that he would break my heart and hurt me. He also had known that Jacob and I were meant to be together. I'd of course passed all that off as wishful thinking for both Charlie and Billy. They'd always wanted Jake and me to end up together, and I'd given it no real thought or merit. But the saying is true: Your parents really do know what they're talking about.

"Well, it's good to see you, you want some breakfast?"

I nodded and stood up slowly, my head was still aching pretty badly and I didn't want to risk falling flat on my face or ending up in a heap on the floor tangled in blankets. "I'll be down in a few, okay?" I said softly as I made to walk to the bathroom. I needed a few minutes to compose myself, as I probably looked like hell.

"I'll be downstairs then," he answered and then I watched as he turned and walked down the stairs and out of sight.

I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, leaning back against it and scrubbing my hands over my face roughly. I was a mess, both physically and emotionally and I had to get myself together. It wouldn't do me any good to continue on this way. I'd messed up and Jacob and I were beyond fixing. No matter how true that seemed at the moment, I couldn't help but think about how good Jacob had looked last night. He was still gorgeous… the sheer size of him had been enough to make me weak in the knees, but it was the look in his eyes that had made me want to run to him and never let go. The light that had always been in his eyes was all but extinguished, and I knew it was my fault. I'd broken Jacob beyond repair this time, and I was a complete selfish bitch for doing that to someone as wonderful and beautiful.

I would make him see that I'd been wrong, I'd fix this. Even if he didn't want me anymore, I had to fix him and make him see that the world wasn't bad - only I was - so he could be happy again and that light behind his eyes would shine once more. I could do that; I could fix him just like he'd fixed me. I was pulled out of my internal musings by the sound of Charlie hollering up the stairs.

"Bella, there's someone here to see you."

I could feel my nerves building. Could it be Jacob?

I was once again remembering everything about him from the night before. Everything about him screamed Alpha male and dominance... and I wanted it. I wanted him to hold me down and take what he wanted from my body. I wanted him in any way I could have him. Just thinking about him made my girly bits tingle and throb with want.

"I-I'll be right down, dad," I choked back and ran to the sink. My reflection was scary. I looked washed out and sallow, my eyes were extremely red and bloodshot with puffy dark circles underneath. My hair was sticking up everywhere and tangled while my face had eyeliner and mascara marking my cheeks like ink blots.

I grabbed a washcloth from the small rack over the toilet and wet it. I scrubbed my face clean, taking care around my swollen eyes and then grabbed the brush and started yanking it through my long locks. I hissed in pain a few times as I caught a particularly bad knot, but I managed to make myself look a bit more presentable. I didn't have my toothbrush with me so I put a bit of toothpaste on my fingertip and worked it around over my teeth and tongue to rid my mouth of the retched dragon breath I was sporting and then rinsed quickly. Looking back in the mirror, I couldn't help but roll my eyes, this was as good as it was going to get…

I opened the door to the bathroom and made my way down the stairs carefully, my eyes searching the living room before they settled on a broad set of shoulders and a long, lean set of legs. My heart stuttered for a moment before I realized they weren't the ones I'd been hoping for and I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. I swallowed thickly and plastered on the best smile I could muster before I called out to him.

"Hey, Embry, what's up?"

He turned toward me and smiled, his eyes lighting up in the way Jake's hadn't and I felt my heart plummet a bit more.

"Mornin', Bella, you look like hell," he said as he looked me over. "I'm just checking up, it was a rough ending to the night last night and I wanted to make sure you're alright."

I wanted to tell him exactly how fucked up I actually was. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't breathe right now that Jacob wasn't in my life and how I couldn't shake the cold I constantly felt inside me. I also wanted to tell him that I was still in danger of becoming a vampire Slurpee in the foreseeable future, but instead I just said: "Yeah, rough night, but I'm okay."

I watched as one of his eyebrows cocked slightly and his smile faltered. He knew I was lying… and as if to cement it, he came toward me a bit closer and dropped his voice to a whisper and said exactly what I knew he would. "You're lying, I can smell it, hell, Bella... it's written all over your face."

"Look, Embry, I appreciate you coming all the way over here to check up on me, but I'm fine. I messed this up and I don't know why I expected things to end differently than they did. I was a fool to even go last night, but I was so desperate to just see him one more time," my voice cracked then and the stinging behind my eyes flared back up with a vengeance, but I continued. "He's all I can think about, all the time. He's in my dreams, my waking moments… he's everything and I gave him up when I walked away from him. I don't blame him for hating me, because I sure as hell hate myself for what I've done. He's the best thing that ever happened to me… and I've lost him."

Embry wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. The heat was comforting and familiar, but the scent, height and the arms themselves were all wrong. It didn't matter though, because I wanted the comfort, so I wrapped my arms around him and held on as tight as I could while I let the dam break and the tears began to fall once more.

"Bella," he whispered against the top of my head. "He doesn't hate you, not even close. He's just angry and upset that you left and it really fucked with him. He's hurt, even after all this time he's extremely hurt… but he doesn't hate you."

"I know I hurt him, and I wish I could take it all back. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have gotten into that car, I would have gone through with the rest of my plan that I'd had that night and told him how much I loved him," I sobbed brokenly, my tears soaking into Embry's shirt. "I had plans that night, I had it all worked out how it was going to happen. I was going to give myself to him that night in whatever way he wanted. I was ready."

"Did you tell him that? Did you explain what that dinner was all about?"

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me, I knew he felt it. His chin was now resting on the top of my head and his hands were rubbing soothing circles on my back. I felt safe and warm for the first time in five years. Even though it wasn't Jacob holding me, Embry was my friend and I knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. I thought for a moment about telling him what happened when I did go to Italy and the ultimatum that now lay before me. I wanted him to know everything…

"Em, c-can we go somewhere and talk? I need to tell you everything that's happened," I whispered as I pulled my face out of his chest and looked toward the kitchen where I could hear Charlie whistling along with the radio. I could smell the coffee and the scent of waffles and bacon hit me like a ton of bricks and my stomach let out a loud rumble. "After I get something to eat."

Embry let out a soft chuckle and grasped my hand in his as he tugged me toward the kitchen. Charlie didn't comment on my tear-streaked face nor did he say anything about my hand being clasped in Embry's as I piled my plate with food, he simply smiled, poured me a cup of coffee and went back to reading his paper. I was thankful for the silence and I ate quickly as I thought over how Embry would handle what I had to say to him. I knew as soon as he phased again, Jacob and the entire pack would know everything I had said… but maybe that was a good thing. They needed to know that there was a risk of the Volturi coming here. They had a job to do, protecting their people and their land from vampires… and I owed them at least that information so they could do their jobs efficiently.

Of course, Victoria was out there somewhere still as well, and she knew exactly where I was. I wouldn't put it past her to attack those that I love just to flush me out to exact her revenge. Charlie wasn't safe, and neither were the pack… Everyone I held close and dear was in danger, and so they needed to know about all of the information I had about her as well.

And then, there was Edward Cullen, the man I'd once thought I'd loved and now feared. I didn't know exactly what he might do or how he may go about it, but I just had a feeling that even though he'd left that night as I'd asked, it wasn't the end of things. He wasn't finished with me or my wolves… that much I was sure of.

"You ready to go, Bella?" Embry asked from beside me, his hand gripping mine a bit firmer. I looked over to him and nodded, but not before I caught the look in his eye. He knew… he knew something wasn't right and he was sitting rigidly in his seat, his eyes wide and he was shaking slightly.

"Yeah, come on. I'll be back later, dad, Angela may be with me and we can have dinner together before we head back to Port Angeles," I said in a rush as I scraped my chair back over the linoleum and stood up quickly, my hand still clasped in Embry's shaking one.

Thankfully, dad didn't look up from the paper, he simply mumbled a, "Yeah, sure, Bells. Have a good day."

I tugged Embry's hand and we walked toward the front door, his eyes darting rapidly around the room and I could hear him snuffling the air like he was expecting something or someone to jump out at us. His instincts told him something was wrong, and he was right… I just didn't know where our troubles were at this very moment.

We didn't speak again as we drove toward La Push, Embry's eyes never leaving the road or the area that surrounded it. He was focused, and so I didn't bother him. I could hear the growls coming from his chest and I could see his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel of his truck tightly in his fists. I could almost feel the anger rolling off him. He was a hunter, he was lethal and completely capable of killing me… but I felt safe. That was one thing I knew in my heart, the pack would never hurt me, even though I'd hurt one of their own.

We pulled up in front of Sam and Emily's house and I saw the front door open. Sam walked out clad in the usual pack attire of cut-offs with Paul and Jared close behind. I hopped out of the truck and stood watching, waiting for Embry to make a move. His breathing was harsh and his eyes were frantic and I was afraid for him. What had I done? And why weren't we going to see Jacob? He was the Alpha, after all…

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked as he and the others walked toward the truck, their eyes searching mine as they waited for me to answer.

"I don't know exactly, we were at my house, and I was eating breakfast and I was just thinking of some things that I need to tell you guys when he started shaking," I answered honestly. I had no idea what happened, I didn't even know exactly what was wrong with him.

I looked over as I heard the other door to the truck open and shut, Embry was standing there, the shaking finally subsided enough that I almost couldn't see it anymore. He looked to me and then to his pack brothers and whispered one word so quiet that I almost didn't hear it, but that one word threw into perspective exactly what had happened back in my father's kitchen and I felt the tremor of fear tingle down my spine. The one word that could bring my world crashing down around me floated from Embry's lips, and I felt the air leave my lungs.

"Vampire…"

As the word left his mouth, everything around me faded completely, my world washed in a sea of black and I heard no more.