Thank you to Cat (Rhodes11) aka Kitty, and October Skies aka Shamika for beta-ing and pre-reading this chapter for me! I appreciate it and much love to you both!

The chapter title comes from "Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perry

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – I've Learned To Live Half A Life*

I was swimming in a pool of blackness. I was completely surrounded by and engulfed in the infinity of inky dark and there was no way out. It was endless, stretching on as far as I could see. The emptiness I felt here was scary, hollow and cold. I longed to feel the warmth and happiness that I knew existed out there somewhere. I kept moving forward, toward something that I couldn't yet see. It was then that I heard a whisper coming from somewhere before me; it started out soft but it began to get louder and louder as I frantically swam to get closer to whatever it was. My eyes closed and I felt my body getting heavier and heavier like I was being dragged down by a lead weight. I was going to sink and drown in this place. But I wasn't going to give up; I had to find a way out… I just had to find the place where light and love and warmth existed.

"Bella," a voice said softly, I could feel the hair around my face and ear move with a slight breeze. It was warm and comfortable and so very welcome and I felt my eyes twitch. I was surrounded by sounds now, muted voices that sounded panicked and a bit on edge and I wanted so badly to get out of this dark place. "Come on, Bella, wake up."

My eyes twitched again when I felt a hand move across my cheek, fingers lightly tracing a path across my skin in another comforting gesture. I was close to the place that I longed for, so close…

"Jacob," I whispered softly, my lips wrapping around his name like a sacred and cherished prayer. I remembered something crucial, the reason I felt so alone and broken. I'd hurt Jacob, that's why I felt cold and empty. I didn't have my Jacob anymore. This place was my own personal version of Hell… cold, empty and without Jake. "Jacob, I love you."

My voice cracked slightly and I could hear the sound of someone crying, the noises of heartbreak and crying echoed all around me. The sobs sounded so broken and they were completely pure and heartfelt… these tears were meant for something. They were being cried for a reason.

It was a few minutes before I realized that the sounds were coming from me, I was crying out my heartfelt plea for Jacob and his forgiveness. I was crying for everything I'd ever done to hurt him, and with each tear that slid from my eye I also felt my body becoming lighter as I swam through that endless river of black. These tears were the most honest thing I'd ever felt in my life; these were all for Jacob and the pain I'd caused him, and I let them pour out of me as my first act toward moving forward. Jacob Black would never feel pain because of me again, ever.

"Bella, shh, it's all right," the voice whispered near my ear again, the feeling of warm fingers once again tracing across the skin of my cheek. "You have to wake up now."

My eyelids fluttered once more and I could see a crack of light, my body feeling almost weightless as I got closer and closer to the light and warmth that I could feel surrounding me. My eyes finally opened, light filtering in in the most beautiful array of colors. I turned my head slightly and it was then that I saw russet skin above me and I felt my hand lifting toward the face that was there. My eyes began to adjust and my hand stopped just before my fingertips made contact with that familiar russet skin.

I tried hard to hide my disappointment, but I was sure I failed miserably. It wasn't my russet skinned man that sat over me.

"Hey, welcome back, honey," he smiled down at me in a brotherly way, his brown eyes looking me over as if he was worried of hidden injuries. He was a wonderful friend and person, but it wasn't his face I'd been hoping to see when I opened my eyes. "We were worried about you."

"Thanks Sam, you're always saving me, aren't you?" I asked quietly, trying my hardest to smile at him but I know it came out more like a grimace. "Someone is always saving me, especially from myself. I'm all right, just got a bit of a shock, I'm sorry," I whispered and tried to sit up slowly, my head aching a bit and my hands were shaking as I remembered why I'd had my little episode. Vampire… there was a vampire back in Forks. I'd known it would happen. I had just figured that I had more time to prepare, and to warn the wolves of what was to come. How could I have been such a fool? I should have made them aware long before now, but I had failed. I had kept my secret for too long, and now it was too late.

My mouth felt dry as fear enveloped me. This was it; they'd found me. Whichever vampire that was going to end my life had finally caught up with me. I glanced around nervously, trying to find the one face that I wanted to see at this very moment. Where was Jacob? Not that I blamed him for staying away, but I really just wanted to see him before I became my vamp-friend's refreshment.

"W-who was the vampire, Embry?" I asked as I turned my head looking around for him. My eyes finally met his and he leaned toward me on the couch, one of his hands grasping mine.

I watched him as he looked around at the rest of the people in the room, his face betraying nothing, and then his eyes settled back on mine, his mouth pulled down into a frown as he spoke.

"It wasn't a scent I recognized, Bella," he answered and gave my hand a squeeze before letting go. I could feel the fear building inside me; a scent they didn't recognize could mean only one thing… the Volturi.

I sat up quickly, my hands clutching at my chest as I felt my pulse sky-rocket. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I coughed as a sob ripped its way from my throat. This was it… the end. I sniffed loudly and I let the tears fall, but I looked straight at Sam and said the words I'd been holding inside for far too long: "I know who's coming for me," I whispered through my sobs. "I've known for so long that they would come and get me, but I couldn't bear to put my issues on you all and I'm sorry. I've endangered the pack and everyone else."

"Bella, you don't know that they're here for you," Sam tried to reassure me, but he was wrong. I knew the truth. I was still a danger magnet, the girl who attracted the supernatural like a damned beacon. I knew.

"Sam, when I went to Italy to save Edward, the vampires there, the Volturi, told me that I was either to be changed or I have to die. I have no other options; I'm not supposed to know about vampires and their existence without paying the price. They're here to collect the debt I owe." The tears continued down my cheeks and my hands were now shaking harder as I clasped the material of my shirt. My heart felt like it was going to burst at any moment from working so hard and I could feel the dizziness settling back over my brain like a thick fog. "If it isn't them there are others that are out for me, out for my blood. Victoria, the red-head that was hunting me after Edward left is still out there somewhere and she wants me dead, too."

"No, no, Bella," Sam interrupted as he pulled my hands away from my chest, his head shaking back and forth. His warm thumbs were tracing small circles on the back of my hands and I could feel a bit of my fear ebbing away with each circuit he made over my skin. "We killed the red-headed leech a couple years ago; she's no longer a threat."

My eyes closed tightly as I sobbed a bit harder… Victoria was gone? Oh, God, Victoria was dead and gone… The pack really did care about me; they'd hunted her down even after I'd left. But that meant Jacob had protected me too… again.

"She's gone?" My voice was no more than a whisper, but I knew they'd hear me.

"Yes, Bella," Embry answered this time, his voice soft and comforting. "She's gone."

"Thank you, t-thank you all," I stuttered as I tried to calm the tears and my rapid breathing. I opened my eyes again and looked around the room. They hadd killed Victoria. But that still left two possibilities of who'd been close to my house. There were still vampires that wanted me… and I knew who they were. But it couldn't be Edward; Embry had said that the scent wasn't familiar. Edward could have asked someone to watch me, someone the pack didn't know. But more than likely it had something to do with him. They should still know the possibility was there and what had been said when I'd told Edward I didn't want him anymore. I knew in my heart that Edward Cullen wasn't done with me… not by a long shot.

"There's still the Volturi that want me… but there's also someone else that it could be."

From the corner of my eyes I saw Embry, Jared and Sam sit up straight, their eyes searching my face as I inhaled a deep breath through my nose. The tears were gone now, but I could still feel them burning behind my eyes, waiting in anticipation for me to lose my shit once again. I'd never been strong, but this was fucking ridiculous. I had to be stronger than this; these people deserved that much after all they'd done for me. I had to be strong and fierce…

I had to fight.

"Tell us what happened; we can protect you, Bella," Paul said as he walked toward the rest of the group that was crowded around me; his arms were folded very Jacob-like over his chest and his body language was quite hostile. He and the rest of the guys that were in the room with me were all tense and ready to spring at any moment. I'd never been anything but trouble to these guys, but they still wanted to protect me.

Just as I was about to tell them everything I knew, Quil and Angela burst through the door, his back just as rigid and tense as the rest of them. He stopped feet in front of the couch, his arms wrapping protectively around Angela's middle and he looked right at me.

"I got here as soon as I could, what's going on Bella?"

Jacob and a few of the other wolves still weren't here, but I supposed the ones that were here could fill them all in later. So with that final conclusion, I started to tell them all what I knew and what I feared most was going to happen. I told them that Edward Cullen, the vampire I'd once felt safe with and had at one time loved, was now the person I feared most in this world… the Volturi scared me, and I knew in my heart of hearts that I didn't want immortality or the façade of a life that I would lead if they did take me away. I had plans now; I wanted to live my life as a human and get married and have babies… I wanted my wolf. But the fear of being taken away by the Volturi wasn't anywhere near the fear I felt about Edward and what he may do.

He hated the wolves, he'd never kept that a secret, and he knew I loved them. He'd come back and he was going to find a way to get me back, no matter what he had to do to achieve that goal. He'd never given up something he wanted, and I knew this time would be no different. I was now Edward Cullen's ultimate prize. I was his prey… and he would hunt me down until he got exactly what he wanted.

"Wait," Sam's voice thundered through the living room as I finished telling them everything I knew. My confrontation with the Volturi and my subsequent breakup with Edward and everything I'd felt and heard that night. Everything was on the table now, and I waited for them to tell me to get the hell out of La Push and never come back…that was exactly what I deserved. I'd brought far too much danger to these people and sooner or later they'd see just how dangerous I was.

"Cullen and his family haven't been seen around here for years Bella; it could just be a nomad passing through. I don't think we should jump to conclusions or point fingers." Even as he said the words I could see that he didn't believe them. This wasn't random or a nomad; this was planned out. But whoever it was had known I was back in Forks. The question was – how had they known?

"Sam, come on," Jared spoke up. "You know as well as the rest of us that it's a little too much of a coincidence – like all of a sudden Bella comes back and now there's a vampire, too. It's not random or a nomad."

"I'm with Jared, something is off about this whole thing," Quil agreed. "There's no way it's random. I don't fucking like this."

"Okay," Sam said with a firm nod of his head. "First then, we need to alert the rest of the pack. Jacob should be here to plan the strategies and patrol schedules. Paul, go phase and get our Alpha back here and make sure to get Leah and the rest of the group up to speed while you're at it."

Paul nodded once, stripped his shirt – that he'd put on at some point while I'd been out of it – off and walked toward the front door unbuttoning his cutoffs as he went. I turned my head back toward Embry and Sam and felt the blush cover my face and chest as Paul did his thing; they simply smiled at me and shook their heads. No modesty in a house full of wolves.

Emily brought some clean clothes over to me and offered me a small smile. "They should fit," she said softly, her free hand rubbing firm circles on her lower back. I wondered how far along she was; it was obvious she had a bit of discomfort but she still looked radiant. I found myself feeling a bit jealous before I swallowed that back and smiled up at her. "They're my pre-baby clothes, though they may be a bit long."

"Thanks, Emily," I said earnestly. These people were just too amazing and good for words. I stood up slowly, my legs still a bit wobbly and my head still swimming, but I was okay. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Of course, Bella," she smiled again as she grabbed my empty hand in hers and pulled me along down the small hallway toward a couple of doors. She reached inside one of the small rooms and flipped the switch and I watched as light flooded the tiny but nicely decorated bathroom. "Take your time and make yourself at home. I'm going to go start on something to eat so when you're finished just come find me in the kitchen."

I nodded and smiled at her before she walked back out of the room, leaving me standing there in an unfamiliar house full of wolves and I was going to take a shower… Yikes.

I closed the door behind me and turned the lock before setting the clothes Emily had leant me down on the sink. I didn't even stop to look at myself in the mirror; I simply leaned down and turned on the water in the bath, waiting until the temperature was just right and then flicked the knob to turn on the shower. I stripped out of my dirty clothes, making extra sure to ball my dirty underthings into my skirt so they weren't just laying out for all to see and then hopped into the warm water. The feeling of the warmth on my skin made me think about Jacob again, and I had to shake my head to clear those thoughts away. It wouldn't do for the other supernatural beings in this house to smell the evidence of what was going on in this bathroom. Thoughts of Jacob would just have to wait.

The events of the day had finally caught up with me and I pondered all of it as I let the water run over my filthy hair and face. A vampire was hunting me, stalking me at my father's home. It's like they knew where I would be and when I would be there. Then to top that off, Jacob still couldn't stand to be around me. I knew he and the pack were going to protect me just like they always did, but knowing Jacob couldn't be mine was slowly ripping me apart and killing me piece by piece.

My heart and body ached for Jacob. I needed him. I was once again on the radar – or menu – of a vampire that obviously knew where I was. It wouldn't be hard to get to me if they wanted me bad enough. Embry had said he didn't recognize the scent, but I had a fairly good idea who it was, and I also knew that he wanted me for his own. It may not have been Edward at my house that morning, but it all came back to him in some way. I was his singer, and I knew that no matter what I did or where I went he'd always find me, and he'd never let me go. He'd said as much when he'd told me that I was his drug. He was addicted, and that meant I'd never be free of him.

This wasn't right; I wanted to live. I wanted a life with a husband and a family and the house with the white picket fence. I wanted my Jacob. But no matter how much I wished all of this was over and I could move on, it would always be there to come back and haunt me. But I wasn't the only one who could be hurt; Jacob and his pack were in danger because of me. My actions from the past were back to bite me – both figuratively and literally – and I found myself scared and shaking again; my breathing became a bit more frantic and my vision began to swim as dizziness tried to pull me under. Why did this always happen to me? I could feel the choking sobs working their way out of my chest and I had to close my eyes and lean against the cold tiles to keep myself upright. I was scared, beyond scared, that something would happen to someone I loved.

A pounding sounded on the door followed by a voice that sounded absolutely frantic. "Bella, its Seth." When had he gotten here? "Are you okay? Bella, answer me!" The pounding was sounding farther away as the blood rushed behind my ears. My heart was racing and the sting of tears was nestled behind my eyes. I was turning into a fucking crybaby, and to top it off, everyone in the house knew what was happening to me inside this tiny room. I had to be stronger than this; I wasn't going to pass out again… no. I had to prove that I was strong and that I was determined to fight against whatever this was. I inhaled deeply through my nose slowly and held myself still against the wall. My pulse slowed, the tears receded and the blood behind my ears was now calm and silent. "If you don't answer me, I'm going to have to come in there and get you."

"I'm f-fine, Seth," I choked out with embarrassment. I really didn't want Seth, my brother for all intents and purposes, seeing me naked. "Really, I'm okay now. I was just panicking a little bit."

He didn't answer, which had to be a good sign, and so I started scrubbing and washing as quickly as possible. I didn't enjoy this shower as much as I probably could have; instead I just cleaned up and got out. I had to see Jacob; I had to tell him how sorry I was, again, for bringing this down on all of them. That was all I felt lately was remorse for things I had done and I was beginning to hate the feeling. It was good to know that I had a conscience and that I took responsibility for the hurt I'd caused Jacob when I'd walked away from him, but I wasn't so sure that all of this was entirely my fault. Edward had pulled me into his life, he'd forced my hand when I'd had to go to Italy, and he'd brought me into the world of mythical beings and the things that went bump in the night. Surely he shared some of the responsibility and fault for all of this as much as I did. Edward was just as selfish as I was, maybe even more so. But who was I to point fingers and place blame? I was just the fragile human girl that didn't know when to run away, and now my friends, family and the man I loved were going to pay the price for my stupidity and selfishness.

But maybe they didn't have to. After all, I'd escaped Jasper and Alice in Phoenix when I'd thought my mother was in danger. There had to be a way to get the attention solely on me and take the danger away from everyone else. I could figure out a way to get away from the reservation and the wolves. They deserved to live their lives away from all of this and my bullshit drama, and if I couldn't have Jacob again, then I'd make damn sure that he and his family and pack were all safe. I'd do anything for him, and if this was the only thing I could do, then so be it.

*Jacob's POV*

I was running patrol just on the far side of the reservation when Paul's thoughts began flooding my mind. I saw Embry telling the guys about the vampire scent at Charlie's house that morning. I watched as Bella passed out, caught just seconds before she hit the ground by Sam. I watched as Bella had woken up calling out my name and the tears that streaked her face. I could smell her anguish and her disappointment through Paul's memory when she'd opened her eyes and Sam had been there and not me.

It was a bittersweet feeling knowing she really did want me. The walls around my heart were still cracking and crumbling, but I still wasn't ready to forgive her. I'd spent too much time letting Bella use me and walk all over me, and I wasn't going to let her back in until I was sure that she was going to stay. I had to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wasn't going to ever leave me again.

"We need you back here, Alpha," Paul's voice sounded in my mind; he was deliberately trying to keep some of his thoughts private, I could feel it. He was hiding something. My hackles rose and I growled deep in my chest. The Alpha in me didn't like secrets, especially right now when I knew there was a leech around and it apparently had its sights on my Bella.

"What are you hiding from me, Paul?"

"I think it's better if you hear the rest from Bella, she needs you."

"I can't do that. You know that I can't be around her right now," I growled loudly; my voice took on the Alpha timbre and I could feel rather than see Paul's body shaking under the sound. All it would take is one order, one order and he'd sing like a fucking canary.

"I know you're still upset with her. Fucking hell, Black, so are the rest of us, but this is important and I think it's time for you to talk to her."

"Yeah, well you know what I think? I think you should keep your opinions to yourself and go to Charlie's and see if you can figure out where the leech went." I was being a complete dick, and I knew it. But I really didn't want to have this conversation right now. Bella had managed to throw my world back into a tailspin, and she'd only been back in my life for two fucking days. This girl was going to be the death of me. "And I want Charlie here on the rez until we can figure this shit out, am I clear?"

"Crystal," he snarled back as I watched him run toward Forks. He wasn't going to give me the information he was hiding, not willingly anyway. I'd just have to find out what it was some other way. Paul was a stubborn fuck, but he was a good man, a strong fighter and a loyal friend and I wouldn't Alpha order him to tell me anything. I could be an asshole sometimes, but I wasn't going to take my pack's freedom away.

"What's all the snarling and growling for?" Leah's voice sounded in my mind. Her snide bitchiness hadn't faded over the years, if anything it'd gotten worse, but it was because she was a fierce woman who knew that what we did could one day mean someone's death if we didn't keep our heads clear. She made a terrific Beta, and she was very protective of all of us. Leah had become our den mother, so to speak - always looking out for us. The one thing about her that had changed was she was no longer bitter about Sam and Emily; she had accepted it and moved on. She was living her life and she was happy. Now if only I could be so lucky.

Three years ago Leah had met Noah Trenton, a well-off bank manager from Boston. He was a nice guy, well-spoken and extremely fun to hang out with. He had relocated to Port Angeles, Washington to open a new branch on the west coast when he'd run into Leah at the grocery store of all places. They met, began dating not long after and fell in love. They had recently just gotten engaged and were ready to settle down and start a family. And I had to be the one to break it to her that there was a vampire back in town so she would need to keep phasing for a while longer.

I knew Noah would understand; he had been nothing short of wonderful to Leah since he learned her secret. Leah hadn't wanted to keep it a secret from him, after all, he'd get suspicious about certain things sooner or later, and like a certain danger-magnet girl I knew, he'd taken it all in stride and accepted that Leah shifted into a giant wolf and hunted vampires. She introduced him to all of us, informed him that if he didn't like the fact that she was who she was and that she constantly hung around nine other guys then he could kindly just keep his fucking mouth shut and leave before she got too close (her words, not mine). He hadn't even needed to think about it, he'd simply hugged her, told her he loved her no matter what and that was that.

Apparently Bella Swan wasn't the only person with no self-preservation.

"So?" Leah huffed, her agitation working its way into my thoughts and causing me to become even more on edge than I already was.

"There's a leech. Embry scented it at the Swans' place this morning."

"That girl really does have a thing for attracting monsters, doesn't she?" Leah asked coolly. Her calm was setting me more on edge than her anger and agitation. "Guess we'll have to hold her hostage here on the reservation for a few days, huh, Jake? And then you can put all your shit behind you and move on with Bella, finally."

I fought against rolling my eyes. Was she fucking serious? What was going through that mind of hers anyway?

"Maybe it's time you make nice with your girl and show her what she's been missing. Dominate her real good. Fuck her so thoroughly that she forgets that walking popsicle even exists and then live happily ever after with a bunch of your puppies running around. That's all, the end."

"Leah, sometimes I worry about you," I scoffed loudly, this time not suppressing the eye roll. The answer to my problems with Bella was most definitely not sex, and leave it to Leah to be sarcastic... bitch. "My problems are not going to be solved by giving her an orgasm." No matter how much I wished that were the case. I would love to feel Bella wrapped around me and writhing beneath me in pleasure, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Say what you want, Jacob, but I know just as well as you do that that girl needs a good tangle in the sheets, and not just because she got herself stuck in them. Anyway, it goes way beyond that, you love her, she loves you, it's written on both your faces. So, get over your shit and claim your girl, Jacob. She's not going anywhere this time."

Okay, who the hell was this person and what had she done with Leah Clearwater? This was not the conversation that I'd come to have with her, and my sex life - or lack-there-of - and failed relationship with Bella was not up for discussion. No matter how much I wanted a life with Bella and to be able to tell her every day for the rest of our lives how much I loved her and adored her, things weren't that simple. Bella hadn't given me a reason to trust her and she most definitely hadn't earned my friendship back.

There were obstacles she had to overcome to earn my love. The biggest obstacle was in the form of the brick wall I'd built up around my heart, and though it was cracked a bit and less than perfect, it was still strong and resilient and would stand through this storm. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, but I couldn't trust Bella Swan with my heart. I was done – that's what I'd told myself, over and over again I'd fought my feelings for her since she'd come back into my life – I knew it was futile, but still I fought.

Two days, two fucking days and she had me realizing that I wasn't as sure as I had been. I was losing the fight and had I known what was going to happen after Charlie's party, and that Bella had a stupid plan up her sleeve, I would have done more to keep her safe. I'd have made sure that she couldn't leave and put herself in danger. I'd have risked myself a bit more for her sake and told her how much I loved her still, because whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was slowly falling, and there was no amount of fighting I could do to stop it.

If only I'd known that she was going to sacrifice herself to keep us all safe…