Thank you to Cat(Rhodes11) aka Kitty, October Skies aka Shamika for beta-ing and pre-reading this chapter for me! Love to you both!

Chapter title comes from "Fade Away" - Breaking Benjamin

*I Know You See Me*

*Bella's POV – Slow I Suffocate, I'm Cold And Broken*

I'd finished dressing, and I was pulling a comb through my wet hair when another knock sounded on the bathroom door.

"I'll be out in just a minute!" I hollered as I glanced back at my reflection once more. This was what needed to be done. Jacob and I weren't going to be together, so I had to get the danger away from him and the rest of the pack. This would be the most selfless – or possibly the most selfish – thing I'd ever done. I couldn't quite decide which it was, but I knew that I didn't have any other choice. I wouldn't allow Jacob to be hurt because of me.

I set the comb down on the sink and turned toward the door, my hand that reached out for the door handle was steady and sure. I knew this was right. No matter what else happened, I was going to be the one to save Jacob's life this time. He would never, ever know pain and suffering because of my selfishness… at least, that's what I told myself.

I opened the door and ran smack-dab into a wall… a big, tall, muscular wall that once again wasn't who I wanted it to be. I really had to stop thinking he'd come around me; he'd made it quite plain that there was nothing left between us.

"Still as clumsy as ever I see, Bella." Quil chuckled as he gripped my shoulders to steady me. I wasn't nearly as clumsy as I'd been before; it was simply due to the fact that these supernatural men I was surrounded by could move like ghosts – completely silent unless they wanted you to hear them. It was a bit disconcerting how quiet these huge wolf men actually were.

"Not really," I sighed heavily as I took a step back and glanced up at Quil. He was smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I suddenly felt nervous. Did they know what I was planning to do? They couldn't… "I'm actually quite capable of walking all on my own now, in heels no less," I offered, trying to ease the tension I suddenly felt in my shoulders. My palms began to sweat and I found myself staring down at the floor now instead of up at Quil. I didn't like meeting someone's eyes when I was trying to be sneaky or tell a lie. I was the worst liar alive; that hadn't changed.

Quil didn't say anything about my avoiding his stare; he simply laughed and threw his arm around my shoulder. I let him lead me – not that I had much choice in the matter considering he outweighed me by like one hundred pounds – to the living room where most of the pack was still congregated. I could smell the scent of muffins and bacon wafting from the kitchen and my stomach let out an embarrassingly loud grumble. The men all looked up at me and chuckled as I felt the ever-present blush spread over my face and chest. I still hated being the center of attention.

"Emily's waiting for you in the kitchen," Sam said as he tried to stifle the laugh that was obviously trying to work its way out of his mouth. "We left you some food."

I nodded and ducked out from beneath Quil's arm. My heart was still thudding a heavy rhythm behind my ribcage and I wondered why none of the guys were confronting me about what was making me nervous. Maybe they thought I was just nervous because there was a vampire around. Sure, that was partly true. But it had a whole lot more to do with the fact that I was going to give myself over willingly to aforementioned vampire so I could keep my wolves safe. I wanted Jacob to be happy, and to live his life the way he deserved before I had come back and started fucking everything up again. Edward would stop at nothing to get me back away from the La Push pack – he'd never hidden how much he detested my friendship with Jacob – at any cost.

"Bella, you look a bit more refreshed," Emily said softly as she pushed her chair back from the table. She stood slowly, her hand once more finding its way to her lower back, and walked to the stove where there was a plate full of eggs and bacon. She also put a giant muffin – lemon poppy by the looks of it – on the plate and walked back toward the table. "Come, sit with me and eat. You must be hungry."

I smiled at her, she'd always been more than welcoming and warm when it came to me and I really appreciated the kind person that she was. I sat down across from her and picked up the fork that sat there. I stabbed a forkful of eggs and paused just before I put the food into my mouth, my eyes meeting hers momentarily.

"Thank you, Emily."

The words seemed insufficient considering the shit that all of these people had gone through since I'd come into their lives. It wasn't just what was happening now that made me a nuisance to these people. When Jacob had brought me to the reservation after Edward had left me, I'd brought danger in the form of a psychotic vampire along with me.

I knew that I owed them all more than a few nice words – but what else could I offer them right now? I started taking small bites of the delicious food, my eyes still focused on hers as she began talking.

"It's really not a problem, Bella," Emily said with a smile. She really was a beautiful girl; the scars from the accident with Sam didn't hinder her beauty in the least. "We haven't had a vampire problem since the redhead. Sam and the rest of the pack are on edge about the whole thing. They're all very worried about protecting the reservation, especially if it's Ed- um, well…"

"It's okay to say his name," I said as I cleared my throat and put my fork down. "Edward is a part of my past, and it doesn't hurt to hear his name anymore." I was more frightened of the fact that he was close by, I just knew it. Somehow I could sense that it was him and that fact scared me even more. If Edward Cullen was the one hunting me, everyone should be scared.

"Okay." Emily nodded, her eyes suddenly falling to the worn tabletop. She started picking at the wooden surface with her fingernail as she cleared her own throat a few times. What was she thinking about? I didn't have to wait long to find out. "You know it's him, don't you? Why would he want to hurt you? He loves you, right?"

I left my food relatively untouched, my stomach flopping uncomfortably as I thought about how to answer Emily's question without giving too much away.

"Well," I started, my voice sounding much stronger than I'd anticipated, "he was quite adamant about the fact that he could never love anyone besides me. Vampires don't like change – of any kind. So because he thinks I'm his mate, he will not let me go."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean, he thinks you're his mate? Aren't you?"

This wasn't something I'd talked to anyone about before; it was a bit too confusing to explain really. Edward was never my mate – he wouldn't have been able to leave me, let alone refuse to turn me. How do you tell someone about the complicated one-track mind of a bloodthirsty vampire?

"No, we were never mates." Well, that was a start. It would actually be nice to have someone to talk to this about. Emily was someone that knew the ins and outs of mates and the like – someone that had firsthand knowledge. "He only thinks he's in love with me. I don't even know for sure if I ever truly loved him at all. I think it had more to do with the fact that it was forbidden and he wanted me. For him though, I think it's more about my blood."

Emily nodded and pushed my plate toward me again, urging me to eat. I ignored the food and continued on with the conversation instead. I wasn't completely sure I'd be able to hold the food down anyway with the way my stomach was flopping and churning.

"I'm his singer, you know?" Her eyebrows rose a bit and she shrugged her shoulders. Obviously she didn't know what that meant. "My blood is more potent to him than anyone else's. I think he wants me so badly because I would satisfy the demon inside of him – in every way."

It almost hurt to admit that part after all I'd been through because of him… but it was the truth.

"Like I said, they don't like change, and I didn't take him back like he wanted me to. He was sure that we could put it all behind us, but I'm a selfish bitch – I wanted Jacob instead even though I'd practically ripped his heart out – and I told Edward I couldn't be with him because my heart belonged to someone else."

She stared at me, her mouth hanging open slightly as she ran a hand through her hair. Maybe she didn't know quite what to say to my little revelation, but I could only imagine what she was thinking about all of that. It was the first time I'd admitted out loud to anyone how I truly felt about the situation with Edward. I'd always thought it would be Jacob I'd tell these things to, but he still wasn't exactly welcoming or open to having conversations with me.

"So," I half laughed, half sighed, "the reason I believe that it's Edward coming for me… is because he doesn't want to lose out on my blood. Even though he's a quote, unquote, vegetarian, he can't fight the monster inside forever. Not when it comes to me. He's been stringing me along – playing with his food, if you will – and now play time is over."

Emily fidgeted for a moment before she leaned across the table and grasped my hands in hers tightly. Her eyes were shining with tears and her bottom lip was quivering as she tried to hold in her sobs. What did I say to upset her so much? Now I felt bad.

"Oh, Bella," she said quietly, her eyes glancing up over my shoulder toward the doorway that led to the living room. "If that's how you felt all this time, why did you go and save him? Why didn't you just come straight to Jacob or even Sam if you feared him so?"

That was a good question, and it was one I'd asked myself too many times to count. The answer was actually quite simple, though it had taken me until after getting back from Italy to realize it.

"I was fooled by two 'people' who I believed cared about me. They played off my fears and I stupidly fell for it, leaving behind the possibility of a life outside of vampires and eternity. They wanted me to leave Jacob behind."

"They knew you would feel guilty about Edward, and so they played to your insecurities and kind heart. Oh, Bella, how could they be so, so… evil?" Emily was positively seething by this point, her normally calm and beautiful face was turning beet red and her hands were shaking. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was close to phasing. I'd seen this reaction so many times from the pack and I felt terrible for causing such stress on the woman in front of me.

"I'm not kind; I'm just as selfish as they are," I said softly. My eyes began to burn with the threat of tears, but I knew deep down that I could be strong. "I don't even know if the rest of them were involved, though I honestly don't believe they were, except maybe Alice. What I do know is Edward was always so controlling when it came to our relationship. I wasn't allowed to do anything unless he said it was okay. I never want to be that way again, Emily. I want to be better – good, selfless. I want to be the girl I had started to become when I was Jake's Bella. He made me see that I could be strong, and happy. I could just be myself with Jacob, and that was enough."

"You're still Jacob's Bella. You made a mistake, but you've learned from it, right? You won't be making that mistake again."

She was absolutely right, if I ever got the chance to rekindle any sort of relationship with Jacob, I would make sure he knew how much I treasured every moment - if I lived through my plan.

"Bella, he is and always has been in love with you. And no matter what you think right now, you are a kind and loving person. Edward knew what he was doing – manipulating you the way he did – and he's a very bad, evil, selfish person for what he did to you."

"I let him do it. He was thousands of miles away, Jacob begged me not to go, and I still let Edward control me."

"When I think about what you've been telling me, it just," Emily paused, her face still red with anger. Her eyes found mine again as she tightened her grip on my hands. "It makes me so sad to know that evil monsters do exist in this world, but more than that, it makes me angry. My husband and his friends have to take on responsibilities that they shouldn't even have to worry about. They risk their lives…"

"It's going to be alright." I tried to sound convincing, but I still had doubts about what the turnout would be after all of this. I was making empty promises, but I would fight with all I had in me to turn this around and take the danger back away from La Push and the innocent people that called this place home. I let go of her hands and started to pick at the breakfast that sat cold and mostly uneaten in front of me.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to anyone here, you have my word on that. I brought this down on myself and I will face the consequences of my actions. I'll be leaving soon, and then whoever it is that's hunting me will follow."

Emily stared at me, her mouth agape as she pondered my words. I watched her eyes widen as she glanced over my shoulder at the doorway.

"You'll stay right here on the reservation until we're sure it's safe for you to leave." I turned quickly in my chair, and faced the beautiful and imposing form of Leah Clearwater – but something was off. She looked positively… jovial.

"I can't stay here, Leah!" I fought the urge to jump to my feet – Leah was a force I dared not take on by myself. She was fierce, strong – everything I wasn't.

"I have a life in Port Angeles, and I don't think I'm very welcome here."

Leah's smile widened and her eyes shone with mirth and mischief. What was going on here?
"Alpha's orders, Swan," she chuckled as she glanced at Emily briefly. "Can she stay here, Em?" I didn't hear a response from behind me, but I saw Leah nod once so I assumed Emily's answer was affirmative.

"I'm not staying, Leah! Are you not listening to me?"

"Jacob says you are. Care to take it up with him?"

"He won't even talk to me!" I spat. My anger had finally boiled over and I stood from the table, knocking my chair down in my haste. Leah stepped in front of me, her smile still firmly in place and I couldn't help but want to slap it right off her face. "I don't have to do what he says, I won't stay here. You can tell your Alpha that I refuse!"

"That's not going to happen," Leah chuckled again, her eyes positively glowing as she stalked forward. I felt the heat coming from her body and the smell of her skin – oranges mixed with cedar – permeated my nostrils. She was so close to me, and still I stood my ground. For once in my life, I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to be the one to save the people I cared about – even if that meant that I would meet death at the end.

"Your father is coming down tonight for his birthday party." Shit, I'd completely forgotten about my dad's birthday… more than that, I had forgotten that Charlie had been left alone at the house with a vampire.

"Oh no, the vampire at my dad's house – we left my dad there. How could I be so stupid?"

"Calm down, Paul's been with Charlie for a while now. Jacob is good at his job, he would never leave Charlie unprotected." Leah's stance in front of me was just as intimidating as Jacob's – she definitely threw off dangerous vibes. "And you will do this one thing you're told and stay safe and hidden right here until we can neutralize the threat. Is that quite fucking clear?"

It was obvious that Leah was leaving no room for argument. Her body was shaking now, her anger palpable and rolling over me in waves as she inched closer. It was almost as if she was daring me to fight back.

"I'm not part of your pack, he can't order me around. Besides, it isn't up to you all to protect me anymore."

She sneered, the previous mirth all but wiped away from her face. What the fuck was I doing, trying to argue with Leah about anything? I knew they were trying to keep me safe, but it wasn't up to them anymore. I wasn't a pack member, and I sure as hell wasn't an imprint. What did it matter if I went against their orders?

"Stop being a goddamn martyr, Swan! After everything you've done to Jacob, you owe him this much!"

My mouth snapped closed and my eyes found Leah's. She was absolutely right, I did owe Jacob this much. I knew I owed him more than this one thing, but it was the least I could do at the moment to appease him. And so for tonight, I would stay on the reservation and do as I was told. But that didn't mean that tomorrow I wouldn't find a way to escape.

"Fine, I'll stay." My voice was quiet, but I knew she'd heard me. I took a few steps back away from Leah and looked up at her. The shaking had stopped and her face was once again composed and beautiful – her smile bright as sunshine. I'd just been fucking played like a game of chess – check and mate. Oh, she was good!

"And that," she laughed loudly, "is why I'm Jacob Black's beta. I know how to get the results I want – no matter what I have to do to get them. And when my Alpha wants something done, I do it."

I fought the urge to huff and stomp my feet like a child. I could hear snickers coming from the next room and I knew… they'd all been in on this. I'd been effectively cornered and coerced, and there was nothing I could do about it now. The pack was cunning and I'd fallen prey right into their trap.

Well played, Leah Clearwater– well played indeed.

*Jacob's POV*

I once again looked up over the rim of my cup and met Bella's stare. I could feel her eyes following me from across the room and I was fighting every instinct to rush over to her and make sure that she was okay. Embry had been with her, sure, but a leech had been near my girl. All I wanted to do was take her to my room, smother her with my scent and never let her leave again, but I stood as far away from her as I could handle and watched her as she interacted with the rest of the guests.

Charlie's fiftieth birthday party was in full swing at my house. The pack, along with Emily and Kim, Angela and Bella, as well as Charlie, my dad and Sue Clearwater were all packed like sardines into my moderately sized four bedroom house. I'd built this house – with a lot of help from the guys – three years ago. I had gotten permission from my dad to build on a plot of his land, close by in case he ever needed me. I had poured my sweat, blood and tears into this home with the hopes of starting a family here one day. That dream had been pushed aside and was now collecting dust. There was only one person I could have that future with.

All I cared about right now was that Bella was here, with me, and she was safe. There was a definite tension in the air due to my close proximity with her, but I would suffer for tonight to make sure that she was all right. Once this vampire situation was taken care of, she could go back to her own life in Port Angeles and I could get back to being able to breathe. She was so close to turning me back into the pathetic fool I'd once been that it was almost comical… almost.

No one really came over to talk to me; they knew my mind was otherwise occupied as I watched Bella. I circled the room slowly, stalking her every move. I watched as she laughed at something Quil was saying, throwing her head back in her laughter. I followed her as she walked over to Charlie. They hugged, whispered words of "Happy birthday, dad" and "Thanks, Bells". I couldn't stop watching her throughout the night, but I never approached her. I knew I wouldn't have the strength to turn her away if I gave in and talked to her. The wall I'd built up around my heart was crumbling; it was only a matter of time before it was left as only a pile of rubble.

As Bella mingled with the rest of the guests, I walked over to Charlie and threw my arm around his shoulders. He'd always been like a second father to me and I wouldn't have missed this for the world – no matter how awkward it felt.

"Happy birthday, Charlie."

"Thanks, son. How are things going at the garage?" he asked as a slight blush worked its way up his cheeks – like father, like daughter. I knew how they so loved being the center of attention.

"Things are good, thanks. That's kind of why I came over here. There's something I need you to take a look at." I was beyond excited to give Charlie his gift. I'd put a lot of hard work into it, and I knew he would love it. The man had worked hard his whole life, providing protection for the people of Forks and sometimes La Push. This was our way of saying 'Thank you'.

He nodded and followed me as I walked through the crowd, out the front door and stopped just outside the three car garage. I reached into my pocket, pushed the button to open the door in front of me, and prayed that he would accept the gift that I'd worked so hard on. As the door slid open, I could hear the crowd of people as they gathered in the garage – this was, after all, a gift from all of us in a way.

"Charlie," I said as the door opened the rest of the way, revealing the crowd of people all standing around the candy apple colored, fully restored classic car I'd been rebuilding for the past year – the '66 Shelby Cobra 427. "We all love you and appreciate everything you've done for us as a cop, a friend, and to some of us, a second dad. This is our way of showing you our appreciation. The guys and I rebuilt it from the frame up, we hope you like it."

Charlie looked between me, the crowd and the car – his eyes filled with tears and his hands clenched at his sides. Maybe it was too much?

"Thank you, all of you." He finally spoke, his voice choked with emotion. "This is amazing. Are you sure you want to give me this? I mean… it's beautiful, but it's just…"

"We're more than sure, chief," my dad said as he wheeled himself forward. "After all you've done for us over the years this is the least we can do. Besides, I want a chance to ride in it."

Charlie chuckled and walked toward the car, running one of his fingers over the hood. He stopped, looked back at me, and smiled brightly.

"Can I take it for a drive?"

I laughed, the sound echoing through the garage as I reached into my pocket again and fished out the key. Just as I tossed it to him, my eyes caught the sight of Bella as she made her way back into the house. I had to talk to her; I couldn't put it off anymore. We had to at least bury the hatchet and let the past lie.

I watched as Charlie got into the car, and started the engine. Sam and Paul got my dad situated in the passenger seat as I moved aside. I heard the car shifting into gear, and before we could blink, they shot forward, making their way down my driveway and off into the night.

"Okay people, back yard bonfire!" Sam hollered. The group started to disperse out toward the back lawn, and Sam met my eyes. "Go talk to her, Jake. It's time."

I could only nod as I made my way into the house, following the scent of Bella through the rooms. She wasn't anywhere downstairs, so I slowly made my way up to the second floor, my eyes scanning each room as I passed it. Finally, at the end of the hall – my bedroom – I could hear soft sobs coming from inside. The door was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open and walked in, taking in the sight of Bella Swan, the girl I had been in love with for as long as I could remember, lying on my bed.

"Bella," I whispered softly, as not to frighten her. "Are you okay?"

No matter how much she had hurt me, no matter how much it pained me to admit it… I couldn't be away from her anymore. Not when I knew it to be right.

"Oh, Jacob," she sobbed as she sat up. "I'm so sorry, so very sorry. I love you and seeing you tonight, seeing how you are with my dad and with everyone else around you… How could I be such a fool? I hurt you so much, so many times."

I walked into the room, my hands shaking with nerves as I tried to swallow past the sudden lump that had formed in my throat. Was this really it? Was I going to let the past go and move on? Was I finally going to have Bella as my own – the way it always should have been?

"You deserve so much better than me," she said, her voice cutting into my thoughts. "You're so good, and kind – everything I'm not – and I broke you. So, for the first time in my life, I'm going to do what's right."

What was she saying?

"I know now why you can't forgive me, because I see it every time I look in your eyes. The light, the sunshine and warmth that used to be there – it's all gone, because of me. I killed a piece of you, and for that, I'll never be able to forgive myself."

"Bella." Her name was like a prayer coming off my lips, once again I couldn't fight the pull to her – she was everything. I couldn't deny these feelings, the desire to tell her how much I needed her, how much I loved her.

"This is it," she whispered. "I know now what I have to do to make this right. Thank you, for everything you've ever done for me and for my dad. I know you care for him as much as you do for your own father. He needs you, loves you like you're his son. But, Jacob, I can't stay here and see you when I know in my heart and in my mind that I can't have you."

I watched as she stood up, her body outlined by the moon as it filtered in the windows. She walked to the door, and I sat there like a statue, knowing exactly what she was doing.

"This is good-bye, Jacob."

And with that she walked out of my room, and back out of my life.