A/N: Those reviews were so great that I had to make another chapter to this! (Plus I'm really sick with nothing to do so why not) There seems to be a fair amount of people who want mermark and a fair amount of people that want merder. I'm not going to tell you which one I am aiming for. It may be both or it may be neither…who knows. (except me ) But I will tell you this: it's going to be a crazy ride.

"I hate getting dressed up," Meredith whined as she tried on dresses with Izzie.

"Oh, stop it…you look fine. I like the black one the best though." She held up a short black cocktail dress. It was sexy yet had a certain amount of elegance as well.

"I like it too," she agreed, pulling the dress over her head. "I just don't know what to do with my hair."

"Leave it down," Izzie suggested, grabbing a brush. "It compliments your face."

"Alright," she nodded, allowing Izzie to brush through the tangles of her hair. "I hope we have fun."

"You will. He's hot, and he likes you…a lot."

"I know, it's just Derek and I never really went out." She never understood why they stayed in so much. She figured it was because they were both busy. They were content with staying at home and watching a movie, which wasn't a bad thing. In fact, Meredith actually enjoyed that a lot more than traveling to some fancy restaurant with bad waiters.

"Don't worry, everything will work out perfect." After she stopped brushing her locks, she took a step back. "Mer, you look gorgeous."

"You think so?" she asked, running her fingers along her waist. "Is it too short?"

"No way, it's perfect."

Meredith smiled, it was perfect. Now, hopefully, the date would be too. Suddenly the door bell rang.

"Oh crap, he's here!" she panicked, rushing to put on some lipstick. "Iz, go stall him."

"Okay, and make sure to use my mascara, yours is all clumpy."

"Alright, go!" she ordered, applying a shade of blush on her pale cheeks.

As Izzie left, she checked herself in the mirror. Everything was perfect. Her dress was pretty, her hair looked nice, her make up was natural, and her stomach was begging for food. She was excited for their date. Finally things were starting to look up. Walking towards the door, she grasped the knob and quickly opened it, astonished at how good Mark looked. He cleans up nice she thought, barely noticing the scars and bruises on his body.

"There you are," he grinned, looking her up and down. "You look beautiful."

She smiled, her cheeks reddening. "So do you."

"Ready to go?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Oh yes." She said goodbye to Izzie, promising to tell her everything that went on with Mark.

As they climbed into his car, he let out a chuckle. "Dr. Stevens is quite the gossip."

"Oh you have no idea," she agreed. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he stated, pulling off the interstate onto a road she wasn't even familiar with.

"I hate surprises," she said, trying her best to act sad and upset.

"Oh you do now do you?" he smiled. "Well for this I think you might just want to be surprised."

"And why is that?" she challenged.

"Because…" He pulled onto a dirt road where the mountains and trees hugged the car. As he stopped, she was breathless. Ahead of her was a magnificent view of the city, something she had never seen before. "Oh my God…" she gasped, completely mesmerized by the lights and the scenes. The sky was dark, but you could still see thanks to the full moon. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

"Mark, I don't know what to say…"

"Shhh, don't say anything." He reached towards the back seat of his car and pulled out a picnic basket loaded with different types of food and desserts. A bottle of wine rested neatly on the side. "Wow," she breathed, "I'm impressed."

"I figured you were a girl who would appreciate this." He looked at her, his eyes bright and sincere. "You're not like most girls you know."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"You're genuine, kind and strong, and not to mention beautiful."

At first she thought he was just trying to reel her in, load her with the compliments and soften her up. That's what most guys did, but soon, she realized he was serious. She couldn't believe it; no guy ever treated her like this before. "Wow, Mark, thank you…that's, that's really sweet."

He laughed. "Did I just make a complete fool of myself? I'm not one of those sappy guys you know…"

She returned the giggled. "No, no you didn't." And she was serious.

He threw his watch off his wrist and slammed his hand against the wall. He was angry, no more than angry, furious. Kicking the bottom of the bed he growled in frustration. What gave him the right? What gave Mark Sloan the right to kiss Meredith, his Meredith!? He grabbed a beer from the fridge, ripping the bottle cap right off. "Dammit!" he yelled to the air. Thankfully Rose was still at the hospital, unable to see his barbaric behavior. He didn't know why he felt this way. The last time he felt so angry was when Meredith came down those stairs at Finn's, her hair wet and smooth against her skin. One of his T-shirts covered her tiny body. She looked beautiful and…happy. She looked happy…without him. And for his own selfish reasons, it drove him insane. He hated this part of him. He wanted Meredith to be happy, he wanted that…but he didn't want her to be happy with anyone else but him. Yet there she was, kissing his ex best friend, happy. He reached for another beer then another and another. The alcohol seemed to numb the pain but it didn't make it go away. His drunken instinct led him to his dresser drawer. He carefully opened the drawer, rummaging through the mess of papers and medical journals. Finally he found the item he was looking for. It was a small velvet box. From the outside, it looked normal, nothing special. But inside was a beautiful diamond ring, specifically made for her. He purchased the ring a year ago, thinking he was going to purpose. He never got around to it. Taking the ring out of the box he held it in his hand. It glistened against the dim light of the trailer and felt smooth on his fingertips. Stumbling off the bed, he headed outside, not even bothering to put a coat on. The cold air sent chills down his spine and seemed to cut right through his skin. Nevertheless, he continued to walk. Once he reached the creek, about a half a mile away from his trailer, he sat by the edge and chucked the ring into the unknown. He watched it fly off into the night, the cool wind pushing it further and further away from him. His body was pumping with so much adrenaline he didn't even notice the frost bite forming on his bare toes. Out of nowhere he began to cry, a whimper at first, but soon formed into a full out break down. He felt the warm tears stream down his cheeks as the air froze them onto his face. He quickly wiped them off, fully aware of how drunk he was. "God, oh God, Meredith…" His voice trailed off, overpowered by the rushing water of the creek. He felt defeated, worthless, as if his whole life had been a lie. Why did it have to be this way? Was it really supposed to be this hard? He bent down, dipping his hands into the freezing water. Images of Meredith's dead body flashed into his mind. That day…that horrible day seemed almost surreal. He remembered diving into the water, ignoring the pain of the cold, determined to find her. Once he did, all thoughts of Addison, Mark, and being chief disappeared. His focus was on her, Meredith, the love of his life. He remembered holding her body, fragile and small, breathing into her, hoping some miracle would arise. All hope seemed to be lost, but she beat the odds. In the back of his mind he knew she gave up. He knew that as soon as the little girl pointed towards the ocean, pointing towards his future. If you thought about it, our future is exactly like the ocean. It stretches as far as the eye can see, journeying to distance places, exotic destinations. It's mysterious yet beautiful and even the best people can get lost in it. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear the voices behind him.

"DEREK!" they yelled.

He turned and saw the chief heading towards him, clutching a flashlight in his hands. Next to him was Rose.

"Derek, oh my God, Derek are you okay?!" her voice yelled, running towards the spot he was at. He figured they would call him crazy. He probably was. After all, he was sitting in the forest in the middle of the night with not even a coat to protect his body.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," his voice spoke, horsed and low.

"What the hell are you doing out here?!" the chief exclaimed, pointing the flashlight at his bare feet. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

He shook his head, picturing the ring in his hands, its hard diamond shining. "I'm sorry." This was all he could say, all he wanted to say.

Rose sighed, reaching for his hand. "Come on, your going to get pneumonia."

Pulling himself up from the rocks he followed them back to the trailer, the image of Meredith's dead body still etched in his mind…

…and he knew it would never leave.

A/N: Okay so I hope this gave you a glimpse of what's going on in Derek's head. I love writing this guy because there's so much more to his character than beats the eye. Please review and tell me your thoughts.