"Here we are," Mark said as he drove into Meredith's drive way. "Hope you had fun."

"I did," she smiled. "It was very entertaining."

He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling. "You're a fun girl Meredith."

"You should see me when I'm drunk," she laughed, silently cursing herself for the idiotic comment.

"Oh boy," he agreed. "I would love to see that."

Giggling a bit more, she asked, "Whatever happened to you and Derek? Yesterday you were best friends and now…?"

He tensed at this question and she instantly regretted it. She shouldn't have brought Derek into the conversation. It was their night, not his.

"Uhm I guess we're back to where we started. It began with a punch and ended with one." He winked, enjoying the way her nose scrunched up when she laughed.

"I see. Well hopefully there will be no more punching."

"Hopefully…" he smiled. "How about you? Are you and Derek really done?"

She hesitated, though the answer should be obvious, she was ready to move on. "Yeah," she nodded, "I am."

He smiled, relieved. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

"Why'd you ask?"

His grin widened. Reaching for the back of her neck, he pulled her head towards his. The single touch made her shiver. He then kissed her, soft at first…

Then you kissed me, soft, quick, sort of like a habit Meredith immediately pulled herself away. She had no clue why this line popped into her head. She shouldn't have been thinking about Derek and his stupid romantic tirades! Yet she was…

"Uhm sorry…I need to go." She reached for the door and struggled to open it. "Dammit," she mumbled.

"Woo are you okay?" he asked concerned. "Was it something I did?"

She turned back towards him, shaking her head. "No, no of course not…I just, I'm sorry. I'll call you."

She quickly opened the door and ran inside, her heart racing. "Shit," she whispered when she got inside. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Oh my gosh was it bad?" Izzie asked, running up to her friend.

Meredith wiped a hand over her face. "No, it was great…I just thought about, nothing…"

"Wait, what? Explain." She crossed her arms, determined to pry an answer out of her.

Meredith looked up, her eyes large and guilty. "I thought about him."

"About who?" Izzie repeated, completely confused.

"Derek. I thought about him while I was kissing Mark, dammit why did I think about him?!" She started to pace the room, not caring about the mud tracks she was making all over the carpet. "GOD THAT BASTARD!"

"Meredith, calm down!" Izzie reached for her friend's hand. "It's not that big of a deal."

"YES IT IS!" she screamed. "I LIKE MARK! I DON'T LIKE DEREK SO WHY THE HELL DID I THINK ABOUT HIM!" She was out of breath, confused and afraid. "Why did I think about him…?" God I'm having a friggen nervous breakdown! She thought bitterly to herself.

"Mer, listen to me…" Izzie grabbed Meredith's shoulders, "You're supposed to think about him, he was your boyfriend since forever!"

"But I shouldn't Izzie! He's an ass hole! I shouldn't!" She hated how she was acting, like a child who couldn't decide what candy she wanted. This was real life; she had to pull herself together.

Izzie sighed. "This is why I said you need to choose. You can't keep doing this, it's bad for you."

"I don't know what to do," she admitted, plopping herself down on the couch. "I don't know…"

"That's only natural," Izzie said, sitting next to her friend. "Anybody in your position would feel the same way."

"I want to move on," Meredith stated, staring straight ahead. "I don't want to be that girl. The girl that sits at home waiting for prince charming to show up and sweep her off her feet. I don't want to be the girl who ends up jumping over the bridge while the guy gets everything he wants."

"You're not that girl," Izzie replied, comforting her. "You are far from that girl."

"Then why do I feel this way?" She looked up at Izzie, her eyes glistening. "Should I feel broken?"

"Yeah," Izzie nodded, stroking her friend's hair. "You should feel like crap."

Meredith let out a soft giggle, enjoying the company. She needed someone to talk to about this. Thankfully Izzie was always there, listening (and gossiping) with her. She would talk about this with Cristina, but she was never much of a gossiper. Not to mention she hated romantic crap. "Thanks, I needed that."

"Anytime," Izzie smiled. "But I do think you should talk to Derek. You obviously like Mark, but if you don't confront Derek about this…you'll never be able to get over him."

"But that's the thing," Meredith explained. "I can't talk to him, to Derek. I mean I want to, but I can't. If I do the situation is just going to get way more complicated than it already is."

"I don't think you have another choice," Izzie said, a sympathetic look overshadowing her face.

"Who would you choose?" Meredith asked, hoping Izzie would answer her questions.

"I can't decide that for you," Izzie said like the mother hen she was. "You have to make that decision on your own."

Meredith sighed in frustration. Maybe the problem was it's hard to forget someone you know you are always going to remember.

"Ow, ouch!" Derek cried as Rose tended to his frost bitten feet.

"Well I'm sorry! You shouldn't have run out in the middle of the night with no shoes on!" she exclaimed.

"Just try to be more careful," he said, rolling his eyes. Lately everything had been a blur. He hardly remembered anything from the previous night. The only thing he had were the scars on his feet, and the headache from the beer.

"Whatever," Rose mumbled; fully aware of what Derek's late night, drunken roam in the wild was about…who else, Meredith Grey.

Derek sighed. He hated fighting, but Rose had been acting all moody and pushy lately. "What's wrong?" he asked, hoping she would stop this.

"Me? Wrong? Oh nothing, actually hmmm, there must be something." Her voice was full of sarcasm as she placed her index finger on her chin. "OH! I remember, I'm just pissed off that your momentary freak out was about MEREDITH GREY!"

"It wasn't!" he defended himself, angrier than ever.

"God, just admit it already! Cut the bullshit, I can handle it!"

"I don't even remember what happened last night! I was drunk!"

"This wasn't the only time, Derek." Her voice was loud and firm. Taking a deep breath she continued, "I saw the ring in your drawer. You went to the hospital early one day. I was looking for my wallet and I saw it…"

"So you went through my stuff!?" He walked immediately towards the drawer, searching for the ring. "Where is it? Where did you put it?!" he yelled when the diamond was nowhere to be found.

"I didn't touch it!" Her voice broke and the tears started to stream down her porcelain face.

He sighed, his back facing her. "What are we doing?" he asked a few moments later.

She wiped away some tears, her voice broken and unsteady. "No," she declared shaking her head, "What am I doing? Why did I even think I could start something with you? You are clearly still in love with her!"

"That's not the point," he began until she cut him off, the tears in her eyes beginning to start again.

"That is the point Derek! You are completely avoiding your feelings towards her, towards me!" She paused, allowing the tears to drip down her face. "But," she sighed, "So am I."

He placed his hand on the wall, dropping his head. "We can make it work," he tried, avoiding turning around to look at her. He knew if he did he would feel guilty, too guilty.

"See?" She walked up to him, forcing his eyes to meet hers. "This is our problem. We're avoiding the issue."

"And what is that?" he asked forcefully.

She began to speak but no words came out. "It's…you are not in love with me, nor will you ever be…"

"That's not true, how can you just assume that I would never love you?" But behind his words, he knew she was right. He could never love her. He could like her, he could be attracted towards her, but he could never, ever, love her.

"Derek…" Her voice trailed off, overwhelmed with feelings she never even thought existed until now. Her world was crashing down, and even worse, she was allowing it to crash…crash and burn into the unknown. "We're only kidding ourselves."

He nodded, understanding her for the first time. "Then…what do you want to do?"

She hesitated, reaching towards the back of her neck. Slowly unclipping her necklace, she dropped it into his hands. "You lost the ring? Use mine." Then, she left, leaving him with her engagement ring, wishing and hoping that one day he would come back.

Talking. She had to talk. "Just go up there and talk to him," she mumbled to herself as she watched Derek fill out a chart. Come on Meredith, just do it. Mustering all her confidence, she began to stride up to him, determined to settle this once and for all. Suddenly, she knocked into someone.

"Sorry," she apologized, helping the stranger up.

"That's alright…" Though, it was no stranger, it was Rose.

"Oh," Meredith said surprised, "Sorry."

"Meredith," Rose repeated just as shocked. "Hi."

"Hi, I'm sorry about that I was just…walking."

Rose began to smile. "That's fine."

"Okay well, bye." Meredith quickly started off towards the opposite direction, away from Derek as well as his girlfriend.

"Wait!" she called out, causing Meredith to turn. "Uhm, do you…still love him?"

"…what?"

"Derek," she repeated, "Do you still love him?"

Meredith didn't know what to say, what was there to say? Did she still love him?

"I, I don't know."

Rose slowly nodded revealing a sad smile. "Okay, that's all I wanted to know."

"Wait," Meredith said as Rose began to walk off. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because…" she looked down, her cheeks a shade darker, "He still loves you."

"Did you talk to him yet?" Izzie asked frantically as Meredith made her way down the hall.

"No, and I don't plan on it."

"Meredith!" she warned, "You have to!"

"There's no point Iz!" she argued, still replaying Rose's words in her head.

Izzie growled, hating Meredith for that split second. Why wouldn't she take her advice? "Come on, are you really going to keep this love triangle up forever?!"

"No."

"Then you have got to talk to him! If you don't then I will." She began to walk towards the nurses' station where Derek was studying for his next surgery.

"NO! Izzie, don't!" Meredith yelled catching up with her friend. "Please, don't."

"Then you do," she challenged, her hands resting firmly on her hips. "Now."

Meredith paused, she knew this was going to be a bad idea, but she had to get it over with. "Fine," she mumbled her words incoherent. Her heart began to beat faster as she got closer and closer to him. "Hi," she breathed when she reached him.

He looked up, surprised to see her. "Oh uhm hi."

"Uh I need to talk to you." She motioned him to the corner of the room. Once they arrived she took a deep breath and began, "Derek I can't keep doing this with you. This back and fourth, off and on, will they or won't they crap is getting on my nerves, and I'm sure it's the same with you. So I think we should just put the past behind us and move on. We can still talk, we can still be friends but I think we should be done…for good. And while we're done I think we should also let go of our feelings for one another you know? We should leave everything behind and just move on…" She knew she was rambling; it was obvious she was but she couldn't stop. She probably would've continued forever if he hadn't kissed her. That kiss, that one single kiss changed everything because when they finally broke away she saw the one person who had been there for her…Mark. "Oh God." He had a look of pure shock on his face and you could tell from a mile away how disappointed he was. Shaking his head, he walked away from her, from them. She didn't know what to do, what to say. But she found her feet walking, no running, after him. When she finally caught up with him they were outside.

"Wait, what are you doing, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she cried, her eyes filled with tears. She rushed towards him, pulling his shoulder back.

He turned frantically around, his face a little more wrinkled, a little more pained. "What?!"

"Why are you acting this way?" her voice quivered as she spoke. The tears continued to pour down, refusing to stop.

"Just stop it," he responded, "Just stop this! All I wanted you to do was be honest with me!"

"I was!" she panicked, holding tightly to his arm. He was going to leave her, just like everyone else in her life.

"No you weren't Meredith because that, upstairs, was not you being over him!" He continued to walk away from her, his feet moving at a rapid pace.

"Mark!" she screamed. "Mark!" But it was no use, he was gone. She knelt down, crying hysterically, watching him drift into the distance, refusing to look back.

A/N: Wow so a lot of stuff went down in this chapter. Derek and Rose broke up, Derek and Meredith kissed, Mark saw and ran off to God knows where, and Meredith is still confused. My favorite part though would have to be when Rose gave Derek her engagement ring necklace. I don't know if you guys remember but in one of the chapters it said her necklace held all her secrets, the secrets she couldn't tell anyone. I think this is pretty symbolic considering how merder can't really tell each other things. It will also play a pretty big role in the upcoming chapters. Anyways, I really like this chapter and was literally laughing out loud at some of your reviews! You guys really hate Derek! Haha, it's funny. But Meredith is not done with him yet, nor is she done with Mark. You probably won't know the ships until much later if at all so just bare with me and enjoy the ride.

PS: Yes, Mark did "run away"…can you guess where? Hmmmm