I don't own Snk

"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."
-Anonymous

~Chapter Eleven: Red~

"Hey, Eren! Come back here!"

A woman with long, brown hair had her hands on her hips and there was a playful scolding look in her light brown eyes. She was beckoning for a little boy to approach her but the boy was merely grinning and incessantly running in circles around her.

"I'll tickle you!" she teasingly threatened, making claws with her hands before she started chasing the little child. They were on some lawn, grass was freshly mowed and the leaves on the trees were happily swaying around with the breeze. The woman made sounds that were meant to be frightening like it came out of a children's cartoon show, and the boy showed his enthusiasm in playing the role of the victim. The tuft of chestnut brown hair was moving with the wind as he excitedly ran across the lawn with the woman behind him.

"Mom!" he squealed as his mother caught his arms, and he was lifted into the air the next second. His grin was so wide that his two missing front teeth were showing as he flapped his arms around and his mother danced them around in circles.

"Mom!" he called out happily again, his eyes finding the soft smile on the woman's face and the shine that was reflected on her irises. He laughed and laughed until he was out of breath, ready to be put down and play on the solid ground again. He called out again, but it was different this time.

"MOM!"

His voice changed from that boyish, innocent one into a much deeper voice. The sound that he made was almost stuck in his throat, like some lump had clogged it, and there was that tremble that indicated how frightened he was. He was not on a lawn anymore, no more fresh green grass or the tall trees that provided a shade from the direct beating of the sunlight. He was in total darkness, grasping into nothingness with no ray of light to guide him, and he was sure that he was alone. He realized that the woman he called his mom wasn't holding him anymore, and he tried to work his voice again to no avail. He couldn't speak—couldn't see—anything. The sensation that seized up his heart was outright daunting and he felt himself heaving as his lips opened and closed to cooperate with his organ that was breathing fire now. The air was too thin for his comfort and he wondered if he would suffocate and die. The lack of companion by his side—his own isolation—made him think that maybe dying wasn't the worst thing that could happen now. He just wanted air.

He wanted to breathe again.

But he had no time to even mouth a prayer to hope for a better disposition, because his eyes opened without him meaning them to. They were just pried open like his brain was doing its own function without his really controlling it. It was a weird feeling. He knew that he was there, drowning—suffocating—in darkness, which somehow turned into something with colors. However, it was not the hue that he wanted to see.

Because he only saw red.

Red behind his eyelids, red on his hands, red on the webbed-crack of the glass, red on his mother's cheeks, and red on her temples.

He reached out to touch her, but the thread of his breath snapped and he stopped breathing.

"Eren?"

"Eren!"

He gasped, coughing and spluttering as he tried to take mouthfuls of air because that sickening squeeze in his chest was probably going to send him to the hospital for cardiac arrest. His heart was loud—very loud—that his ears couldn't make out the sounds surrounding him and his eyes weren't helping either, because they were swirling and tilting the world around. The throbbing in his chest didn't go away, but it slowed down to a manageable rate where he could actually make out the ceiling of grey right in front of his eyes. He also remembered that he was still in the car, strapped to a seat with a seatbelt across his chest and he vaguely noticed that the car wasn't moving anymore.

"Wh-What?" he choked out, turning his head to the front where he could make out distinct lights twinkling and tall buildings looming ahead of them. It took him a moment to realize that he was not alone in the car and that there was Levi, the person that he spent his entire day with. With a hazy mind, he recalled falling asleep on the headrest of the passenger seat after stargazing and sharing kisses with the grey-eyed man. However, these all seemed so distant with his mind swimming with fragmented memories of his dream.

"Are you okay?" Levi asked, worry was laced in his voice, and he didn't bother to even hide the expression on his face. He looked downright freaked out and concerned about Eren. There was panic in those usual fierce grey eyes and the young man couldn't help but feel guilty because he must have had done something that made Levi pull over to one corner of the road.

"I-I'm okay," he replied weakly despite his effort of putting force onto his voice to reassure his lover. It didn't work, especially because he finally noticed that his whole body was trembling—from shaking that should've rattled the bones of his fingers to his legs that had turned into a pile of jelly. The sight of him had definitely scared Levi, because he was scared himself.

"You were screaming. Is this another attack?" Levi slowly asked him, as if afraid of his reaction. As if it could get any worse. Eren closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling as his current mantra, and calming himself was no easy task. It must have had taken ten or twenty minutes or even longer than that, but the older male patiently waited for him. Levi even rubbed his back after telling him to lean forward and unbuckle the strap that was certainly not helping his breathing.

"It's usually not this bad," he said, blood was flowing to his body and was finally cooperating, bringing the oxygen that he needed.

"Is there a trigger or something?"

The brunet caught the lack of rumble of the vehicle and thought that Levi might have had killed the engine, just to proved the fact that they had stayed on the side of the road longer than he intended to. His eyes landed on the clock, green lights were dully flashing in the car, and it said 11:10 PM.

"No—I mean, I don't know. I haven't had consecutive attacks before. I only had two, and—it's probably just a dream. I'm-I'm even starting to forget it now," he stammered, frustrated because his dream was really fading away. And the last thing he wanted to remain in his mind seemed to be the only fragment that he could keep, and it was that damn color: red.

"Did you ask your doctor about it?" Levi asked, eyebrows were furrowed at the thought, as he cautiously eyed Eren and stopped his soothing gestures on the lad's back. The brunet looked conflicted, a flurry of more emotions brewing in his chest, and he thought of the last time he had visited a doctor. It had been five years.

"No," he answered honestly. It earned a sigh from Levi who pinched the bridge of his nose, not in irritation but in agitation. It caused Eren to bite his lip, slightly regretting that he didn't just tell a white lie so Levi wouldn't have to worry about it. However, what took place between them today had made him more motivated in his goal of being candid and open to his lover. And what he probably needed right there was someone he could confide with, but the fear in his heart had paralyzed him again.

No. I can't tell Levi about this if I don't know what's going on myself.

"I promise that I'll do that, though," he compromised. Hearing that made Levi look at him appreciatively, and he returned the small smile that Eren gave him.

"Alright. I'll hold onto your word, brat. Or I'll have Hanji bother you every damn second until you get that check up."

It was all endearing, really, but the thought of a certain redhead showing up to his classes unceremoniously would be a little mortifying, especially if his professors would mind the not-so-little intrusion.

"Come here," Levi gently gesture, his hand motioning for Eren to come closer and he did. The older male put his hand on Eren's soft brown locks and lightly pulled him to his shoulder, where the brunet could rest his head. It made him feel warm inside, thawing the ice that froze his veins and his heart, making him breathe normally. He still couldn't get rid the pieces of his dream—his nightmare—out of his mind, but they were shoved to the back of his brain as the comfort that Levi was providing him now was making him forget all of those bad things. It made him focus on what he had now.

On what he could lose.

The thought made his nerves freeze up again, and he buried his face on the crook of Levi's neck, seeking more of that warmth that could dissolve his worries. He felt an arm wound up around his shoulder and his nose worked with that familiar scent, letting himself be drugged with it and take him to heights. His mouth opened to speak but like in his dream, he was rendered incapable of voicing anything out. He couldn't ask Levi the reassurance that he needed.

Please, don't leave me.

Eren pushed open the door of the bakery and his eyes immediately caught the face of a familiar friend of his, one that he just saw last week. Those baby blue eyes glittered in recognition and a smile made it to her angelic face.

"Krista!"

"Hello, Eren!"

He made his way to the table she was sitting at, glancing at the counter to check if Ymir was there but she was not. The blonde-haired girl had probably seen the question in his eyes because she said "she's at the kitchen, helping Hitch."

It wasn't his time to clock in yet and he probably had more time because today was the day that Mike would come back to the shop. Hitch was a good baker too, but there was no denying that there was something different in her bread and pastries compared to the owner's. It really was a wonder how could a FBI agent have such good cooking skills. Ymir had been a great help in the bakery too, putting aside her crude humor and sarcastic remarks, and the thought of the dark-skinned woman made Eren curious so he took a seat across from Krista.

"Are you visiting Ymir?" he asked, not wanting to be outright blunt with the gentle girl.

"Yes," she said and her smile never left her face. If Eren were straight, there would be no doubt that he would fall for this goddess-looking young woman. He remembered that times when Krista had helped him out patch some of his bruises or cuts during high school; he was a delinquent-looking guy so he somehow attracted the worst students from other school. Jean, of course, was there to help him beat up some of those belligerent kids, or in some occasions, it was actually the two of them who threw punches to each other. Wow, he was really…different back then, now that he thought about it.

"What are you thinking about, Eren?" Krista asked, snapping him out of his train of thoughts.

The green-eyed lad made a straight face and stated, "I just can't believe that I was a delinquent back in high school."

His friend giggled and no matter how girly it sounded, it was nothing compared to the other girls. It was in fact infectious and soothing, which led to his thinking that maybe the blue-eyed woman had some hidden healing abilities.

"That's true. But you did protect me that one time," she told him.

Eren remembered that day clearly. It was this one autumn night when he was about to go home and he saw a bunch of guys crowding at a corner of the street. He just got back from Armin's house, playing video games with him, Jean and Mikasa. Then, he got a glimpse of a familiar face with straight blonde hair and blue eyes, which he thought was Armin's at first before his mind countered that he just saw his friend a while ago. When he got closer to the three guys wearing uniforms (he gathered that they were from a private school), he made out the timid voice that he usually heard in his class. That was when he swung his fist towards the first guy who was terribly close to the girl and that led to more involvement of kicks and punches.

"And Ymir showed up, knocking the last asshole out," he added, an amused grin on his face.

"I'll never forget that day. It was like two heroes suddenly showed up in front of me!" Krista exclaimed happily. She looked genuinely entertained with the memory like Eren was.

"Then, I took you to Annie the next day and we both learned karate. That was fun."

"It was. Ymir made me practice with her and I, err, almost broke her rib," the blonde said bashfully. Eren could imagine Ymir convincing a hesitant Krista to do self-defense with her and the look of surprise on her face when the angelic-looking girl displayed some exceptional physical power to her must had been priceless. He learned that firsthand when Annie coached them, and he'd rather not challenge the blonde again.

"Really, but I'm thankful that you did those things to me, though. Thank you, Eren," Krista sincerely said.

The brunet smiled and replied, "You're welcome. I call it even though, because you did help wrapping me up with bandages."

She laughed and told him, "It's thanks to you that I learned how to bandage someone up, you know."

"Really? Wow."

"Yup."

"Well, are you just gonna sit around there or are you gonna work?" Ymir's voice startled the calm atmosphere around the two of them, but the woman looked amused because she had a small smile on her face. Her golden brown eyes held that tenderness in them as they landed on Krista. It reminded Eren that he didn't manage to ask Krista the question that he wanted to ask.

"Fine, fine. I'll clock in. Have fun with your girlfriend now," he said, intentionally testing the waters. The response that he got was more than satisfying because neither of them denied it; there was a smirk on Ymir's lips and a blush on Krista's face. Ohh. So I was right.

He hurried to the back room but was stopped by Ymir's straightforwardness, which he wasn't able to show earlier.

"Are you with that shortie now?"

He eyed her curiously and thought how does she know, before replying, "Yeah…"

"Good."

Well, that was odd. It prompted him to ask, "Why do you ask?"

She stared at him like he was the least interesting human being on the planet before rolling her eyes. "I didn't just poke fun on that midget for nothing. I knew that he would explode one way or the other."

"You planned that?!" he squeaked incredulously.

Ymir walked up to him and patted his shoulder. "I feel like neither of you has the balls to actually push your relationship so I did it for you, hun."

"Ymir, you shouldn't have done that! Maybe they were trying to work it out themselves," Krista scolded her, intercepting into their conversation.

The brunet merely gave both girls a smile. "Don't worry. It worked out, alright. I thought you were just spewing your wonderful sarcasm as always, Ymir."

"And you're definitely learning. You better cover my shift tomorrow night," she sang before she went back to Krista. The blonde sent the other woman a smile full of fondness and there was something that looked recognizable in it—it was love. He had seen it many times in the unusual small smiles of Levi and they were only reserved for him and him alone. He'd never seen the lawyer smile that often with anybody else and he felt special because he was the one to witness that side of him. It was the same thing for Ymir and Krista, and the cloud of bliss and ease between the two made him miss the certain grey-eyed man. And it hadn't been a day when he last saw him.

He went to the backroom, watching the couple leave the bakery, and he started working. It was already late in the afternoon and there was usually a swarm of students ready to buy some snacks after a day of enduring what seemed to be the evil-invention called school. He could sympathize with them because he had been there, and he was thankful that his art classes in college had given him a break from his other subjects that were unnecessarily difficult.

His shift rolled by and he only had half an hour left before he should close down. Hitch had already left a few hours ago, leaving him to listen to the music he put on his iPod. He also took the chance to bring out his homework and somehow study the lesson that they went over in his psychology class this morning. However, he ended up taking out his sketchbook and began drawing things that he could see. At some point, he was in the middle of contouring the outline of his boyfriend's face when he heard that light chime, indicating that someone had entered the shop. He looked up and smiled when he saw his blonde-haired boss.

"Yo, Captain," he greeted him with a salute.

"Hey, Eren. It's been a while. How's the shop?" Mike asked, returning his smile. Before Eren could reply, his boss was already sniffing the air like he usually did.

"Well, that certainly doesn't smell burnt dough, which means that you hadn't tried to go to the kitchen." Mike laughed.

The brunet resisted rolling his eyes and resorted to shaking his head in playful disapproval. "You're the one who took me in, Cap. You tell me."

"Yeah… it's been more than two years, eh?"

"Mhm. How's your vacation?" Eren asked, interested as to how the owner had spent his vacation after unceremoniously dropping by at his apartment a week ago. That felt like months ago, but he somehow recalled Mike having a blue cast in his arm.

"It was okay, I guess. I still did work, though." There was a troubled look that flickered across his face before he smoothed it out. It made the green-eyed lad more curious than ever.

"FBI stuff?" he pressed on.

Mike raised an eyebrow at him, and from where he was standing with the lights from the outside casting a big shadow in the background, the blonde never looked more dangerous. Eren swallowed his saliva as quietly as possible.

"Eren, has there been anything weird happening around you lately?" Mike asked, and like last week, he had dodged the young man's question again.

"Define weird."

His boss simply laughed like he was just messing around with him but there was that definite edge that made Eren wonder if half of the stuff that they were about to say was actually true, because he said, "I don't know, like strangers talking to you? Pulling a weapon on you and holding you at gunpoint? There is a lot of dangerous stuff happening around, kid. You really should be careful."

Well, I did talk to a stranger a few months ago and now he's my boyfriend. He held that thought though.

"It could happen to anyone, you know," Eren slowly said, scrutinizing any reaction that he could get from the older man. "So why are you telling me this?"

"No particular reason," Mike replied casually, shrugging his shoulders. Though, he repeated solemnly, "I'm worried about you. I've seen you wandered around at night and I'm telling you that you're bound to get in trouble if you're alone. You should ask Levi to be with you after work." He started cleaning up, pushing the chairs into the table and shutting the blinds of the big window, as Eren got a dishrag and began wiping the counter.

"Okay." He wanted to ask if he had talked to Levi, by how he was addressing him now like he was a friend, and maybe they were now more than acquaintances considering that Erwin was one of Levi's close friends.

He stopped in the middle of his cleaning as he felt the hard object pressed on his chest. He remembered now that there was something strange that had happened to him, but the subject was too personal for him. He never really thought about how his dad's key somehow ended up in a box right in front of his door. It was suspicious, and it made him think if his memories were just screwed up and he somehow mistook the key as his father's. But why would it be delivered under his name and at his apartment?

Then, he recalled that night of the gallery show. There was a man who was looking at his artwork like it was such an extraordinary sight to be gaze upon, but Eren knew that he wasn't interested in it. The man with the bowler hat was fixated on his name. He hadn't really given time to think about that occurrence and now that Mike seemed so freaked out about a lot of things regarding Eren, it was now making him a little spooked too. He checked the time on his iPod, which was next to his black leather-bound sketchbook, and he couldn't help the smile that graced his face. Levi was going to pick him up and they were going to watch movies again, but this time they were going to the lawyer's house.

However, every thought of his flew out of the window as it shattered with the sounds that echoed through the creeping night.

Gunshots.

"EREN, DUCK DOWN!" He heard Mike shout out, and he was already crouched down behind the counter as multiple more bullets started to put holes on everything, glass bursting into million pieces and wood being punctured.

His ears were ringing even if he had his hands over them, threatening to deafen him as if the erratic thudding of his heart was not loud enough. He thought his ribcage was going to break because of how strong its rhythm was, and it reminded him of his dream he had not too long ago. All of a sudden, his chest tightened without his control and air rushed out of his lungs, his organ seemingly burning.

"EREN, STAY DOWN! DON'T MOVE!" Mike began yelling orders out again, and the brunet wanted to reply sarcastically "I think my legs became a pile of jell-o, anyways." He really could use some of Ymir's crude humor now. And Levi…

Oh no…

Before he could think further about his lover, the glass around the counter exploded, showering some sharp chunks to Eren. He pulled himself closer until he was just a ball of fear. He was already breaking out in sweat and he vaguely noticed that the gunshots had somehow decreased, but there was a closer sound to him and it prompted him to look around the wooden counter that he was hiding at. His green eyes scanned his surroundings, heart at his throat as he took in the chairs and walls patched with bullet holes and there was that table that was turned sideways. Mike had probably used it as a shield. Then, he found his boss leaning at the corner where an awkward jutted wall was located. He had a gun in his hand, and his eyes met Eren's. They held urgency and he mouthed for him to go to the back room, motioning with his hand frantically, and the frightened man realized that the gunshots had ceased. He exhaled a shaky breath, letting his adrenaline kicked in.

Then, he took flight.

His legs almost buckled, a bit numb from his uncomfortable position behind his hiding spot, but he willed them to work. He could hear his blood rushing and without a doubt, he would most likely have a heart attack before he could reach his destination. Time seemed to slow down dramatically at that moment, but he didn't let it hinder him. He kept running, pumping blood to his body, and the room that was merely six steps away seemed to be six miles now. He kicked the door open and shut it close, gasping like a fish out of the water.

He needed air.

He needed to breathe.

Eren flared up his nostrils and open his mouth to gain the oxygen that he needed, to get his mind working again. He heard gunshots again and he instinctively hunched down behind the door, his back pressed on it almost painfully so. His heart didn't stop its abnormal heartbeat, and he remembered his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. He reached out, arms were severely shaking, to pull the smartphone out. He couldn't get any coherent thoughts from his brain, but he knew that he had to call 911. He pressed the numbers and the call button immediately.

He didn't know what he told them but there were words "gunshots", "bakery" and "Rose St" before he fumbled with his phone again. He was unaware that his tears were spilling down his cheeks. He really was scared. So scared.

He thought of his mom, Mikasa, Armin, and his second family. He thought of his friends—Jean, Annie, Krista, Ymir. And Levi…

Before he knew it, he was already calling the lawyer. His phone was pressed on his ear again as he flinched when a round of bullets caused vibrations against the door.

"Eren?"

"Le-Levi…" he sobbed out. He swallowed, his mind clearing and was focusing on one thought—on one image. He focused on those grey eyes that would warm up at the sight of him, those soft lips that were upon his under the stars, that short stature, and his face that would unconsciously glow when he was with Eren.

More gunshots.

"EREN, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING THERE?!"

"Do-Don't come. If y-you do, b-bring the cops. Promise me, L-Levi," Eren gritted between his teeth. He couldn't stop his trembling.

"Holy shit. Eren—"

"LEVI, PLEASE!"

"Shh, okay. Okay. J-Just don't move from where you are. I'll bring Erwin with me."

There were sharp raps on the door and he dropped his phone in surprise. Eyes widening, his eyes looked for anything that he could protect himself with. He stopped when he heard ragged breaths and that deep voice of Mike.

"Eren…hah…it's me."

The brunet let out a big sigh of relief, hastily opening the door. He yelped in shock and almost fell backward when a weight was unexpectedly dropped on him.

"M-MIKE!" He shouted as the older man wheezed out on his shoulder. Eren held his body, not wanting for the man to suddenly drop on the floor, and he felt a slick, warm sensation. His mind reeled at the thought that it could be what he thought it was. His heart was about to break as he lifted one of his hands to his vision.

Red.

It was that color again.

He felt nauseous but his eyes were trained on the crimson liquid on his hand as he held Mike with one arm. His rapid breathing was almost comparable to the older man's.

"We have to get you to the hospital," he said steadily. Mike was most likely losing more blood by the passing moment, and watching the man bleed his life out was not something that Eren wanted to witness. He wanted to prevent it.

He carefully laid his boss on the floor, once white was now red too, and this time he looked for the gauges. His friends took care of the bandaging for him in the past, but he needed something to stop or clean up Mike's wounds himself now. He found paper towels, which was better than nothing, and dropped on his knees in front of the blonde, examining where his injury was. When he saw the bleeding hole in his torso, he forced down the bitter revulsion that went through his body. He couldn't afford to vomit right now when he had to help someone. His hands were shaking even more badly than before and he glanced at Mike, whose eyes were tightly closed, a look of pain on his face, before he started to clean the blood.

An image resurfaced behind his eyelids, replacing Mike's face, and he gasped loudly when he recognized it. He blinked and blinked and blinked, trying to get rid of the haunting picture. He shut his eyes tightly, tears flowing down, as he was determined to not think of it.

Of his mom. Oh her, bleeding to death.

"Eren." Mike softly called out, eyes were now staring worriedly at him. Heck, his boss really should be worried about himself, not Eren!

"Why are you protecting me? Is-Is this why you were so worried?" he asked, but the FBI agent kept his mouth in a tight line.

"Eren—"

"This has something to do with me. Right? What are you hiding from me?"

A beat of silence passed and there was a look of pity in those brown eyes staring down to him. He then spoke with utter gravity, "Your life is in danger, and I've been protecting you. If you find out more information about this—"

His breath hitched in his throat. "Why am I in danger? What information?"

"I can't tell you that…"

"MIKE! MY LIFE IS IN DANGER AND YOU CAN'T—"

"Your mom's death is not an accident, Eren."

He felt his stomach drop. His heart had probably stopped beating because he couldn't hear the throbbing pulse in his ears anymore. He could only feel icy cold, his nerves were stilled and his mind shut down. It was as if the ground beneath him had opened up and he was falling into an endless abyss, dark and frightening with no definite end.

His green eyes stared at Mike, unbelieving and now unforgiving.

"What…What did you just say?"

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger... OMG I know it's been like a week, and yes, I do update every Thursdays now. Thank you for reading this and for your reviews~ I'm posting this story on Ao3 now, too. Under Snowberry. I'm finally letting the plot fully come onto surface now XD well, there's that. Thank you and have a nice day~ (*thinks about looking for prom dresses now*)