I don't own SnK or any songs mentioned here.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage".

— Lao Tzu

~Chapter Fifteen: Past, Present, Future~

A car accident.

Of course. Just how fucking ironic was that?

Just a minute ago before he bolted out of that building, he was clearly discussing about his mother's death and right when he was on the verge of finding something significant, this happened. This fucking happened.

He didn't bother with the details, as he was fast to running, not minding that little fact that he didn't know where Levi was. Of course, that wasn't wholly true. He knew that the lawyer would be at his workplace—should be at his workplace—and the fact that it could be miles away was tucked away to the back of his brain. He could only think of one name, just one person, and just one face.

Levi.

His legs were burning like they were on fire and his sweat was already clinging to his shirt, threatening to suffocate him. His lungs were begging for him to stop and take gulps of oxygen or they would fail him at some point and it was evident by his wheezing, but he couldn't afford to stop now. He didn't want to stop. He had to get there. He had to be there for him.

He wasn't aware that he was crying until he arrived at a busy street and a crowd of people was waiting for the sign to light up for them. However, he had already set up an invisible ticking clock in his brain and he couldn't stop the irrational fear that pushed him towards the road that was littered with cars. Men, women, and children had halted in their tracks to stare at him and some even gasped out of shock when a car screeched into a stop centimeters away from him. He numbly apologized, hardly aware of the many honks directed to him, before he sprinted down the street and collided with some strangers as he made his way to a familiar street. His whole body was aching by the time a black Mercedes-Benz stopped at the end of the block he was in.

Erwin got out of the car and made his way to Eren, pushing through the filtering pile of people coming out from shops around them. He had a firm grasp on the brunet who attempted to pull away from the vice grip that the blonde had on him. He was a lot stronger than the brunet was. He already knew that he was losing both of his battles at the moment—one against Erwin and the other against time.

"You have to calm down, Eren," he told him with his absurd composed expression, like the situation wasn't grave enough to fuss over. It merely made Eren's anger spur on.

"What the fuck are you talking about?! Calm down? Are you fucking kidding me?!" He all but shouted, not giving a damn that the people around them were giving them brief looks before going to their own way. It was the city and the last thing that they would do was pry into someone else's business, or pay attention to some deranged student who was about to lose his head because his lover could be covered in red right now.

Oh, God, no.

"You just ran out. You didn't let me finished what I was saying," Erwin said as a matter-of-fact, his blue eyes were narrowing accusingly to the young man. He dragged him to his car, making sure that he was buckled up before he went to the driver's side.

He knew that he should listen to the older male but when his emotions were running on a rampage inside his chest, it was hard to think straight. The only thing that was on his mind was that smile that belonged to the man that he loved—that he promised to protect. He was oblivious to the angry, frustrated tears running down his cheeks. He was a weeping mess, needless to say. And he refused to look at Erwin at the moment, because he knew that the blonde would give him a look of pity.

"Levi isn't in any danger. You don't have to worry."

Oh, how those words brought out the greatest relief in him.

His chest finally loosened up, like the strings that squeezed it tightly finally disappeared, and he began gasping for air to fill up his screaming lungs. He wasn't aware that he was shaking badly until his hands filled his vision and he clasped them together to stop his nerves from rattling further before he fucking breaks down. He finally noticed his tears and he roughly wiped them away on his grey shirt—the color reminded him of Levi's eyes, and he couldn't wait until he saw them again. He'd do anything to see them again.

"Then, what's the accident all about?" he asked, voice trembling slightly, and he attempted to stop it by gritting his teeth.

"He called because he witnessed an accident. He isn't in one," Erwin reassured him.

"Thank God. Oh, God," he breathed out.

"You…" the older male started, making Eren glance at up and he vaguely noted that they were already on the road. "You really care about Levi."

That should go without saying. Levi had pulled him out of the shell that he built around himself—a shell that protected him from getting hurt and thus not truly trusting anyone—and that was when he started accepting that it was possible to honestly love someone without hesitation. He cared about a lot of people—Mikasa, Armin, and Jean were a few—but he never went as far as opening up to them. They comforted him but they were not able to grab a hold of his heart. But Levi did it. Levi broke down his barriers, exposing himself to him, and without his knowledge about the possible consequences, Eren gave his heart wholly to the grey-eyed man. He let himself fall in love with him, knowing that he had given Levi an essential part of himself and that if he were to hurt Eren, he could do it anytime.

But he trusted him not to.

He realized just now that he was unbelievably vulnerable when it came to Levi—that he could easily break because of him.

Because he gave his heart to him.

The moment Erwin killed the engine of the car, the brunet didn't waste any time and he ran outside, slamming the car door close. He didn't know where to look but by how the traffic was pointing straight ahead and how the sirens were blaring loudly not too far away, he figured where to look for Levi. He pumped the rest of his energy to his legs, knowing that one side effect of this adrenaline, the only substance that was pushing him through right now, would involve his body crashing later. But it didn't matter.

It didn't matter when he saw that short stature leaning on the silver Maserati parked on the curb, not too far from the cops' vehicles.

"Levi."

He couldn't have shouted it because his strength was on its lowest point and his knees were threatening to buckle down as he stepped closer to the familiar man, but Levi turned around.

And he was looking at him with a surprised gaze, his figure against the background of the red-orange horizon behind him. Eren almost laughed.

His worries, his anxieties, and his fear—they all drained him the necessary vigor to get to his destination, and his knees collapsed on the rough pavement, feeling a slight burn and he knew that despite his jeans, his knees were probably scraped a bit.

"Eren?" Levi's voice was closer now and before the brunet could lift his eyes that were staring incredulously on the sidewalk, he felt his body being pulled forward to that warm body that he longed for.

"Levi. Levi," he murmured softly as he worked his hands around the short man's neck, careful not to squeeze hard and not to choke him in the process. He felt arms wounding tight around his waist and he sighed contently. He wasn't conscious of the fact that there were people staring at them—some of them might be Levi's coworkers—because the only thing that ran in his mind at that moment was the fact that Levi was in his arms with his scent filling his nose, evidence that he was alive.

"You didn't think that I got into that car accident, did you?" Levi asked him in a mocked shocked tone, and Eren would've rolled his eyes if not for the fact that he was fucking scared out of his wits just a minute ago. When he didn't give a reply, he felt Levi shake with obvious laughter and for once, the young man wanted to slap the side of the lawyer's head. And he was very, very close to doing so.

"What's so damn funny?" He didn't bother to hide his growing anger and that effectively stopped Levi from bursting into laughter as Eren felt him grow rigid. The raven pulled his head from Eren's neck and his grey eyes softened visibly to him. The irritation that he felt a moment ago had melted away from his veins and he merely looked at Levi curiously.

"Sorry. I suppose that was inappropriate. I…I didn't know that I mean this much to you." The slight hesitation in the older man's part made his heart ache. He doesn't know how much he means to me? If I tell him that I'm possibly working with the FBI right now without his knowledge for the sake of his protection, then he'll probably rip my innards out.

"I ran. I don't know how far I got but I did, before Erwin…"

Levi put a finger on his lips and he immediately closed his mouth before he blabbered more. His eyes spoke such gentleness and gratefulness and Eren wanted to reply that Levi didn't need to say anything because he would run until his heart gave out again and again…just for him.

"To go such length… Really. You're such a brat. You have no idea how much I…" he trailed off and the green-eyed man strained his ears to listen to the rest of what the raven was about to say. "Je suis amoureux de toi, Eren. To the point that it's totally fucking driving me crazy."

Oh, no.

Shit.

Levi just had to go all French on him at such a moment that he'd been waiting for. And Eren couldn't decipher the exact meaning behind those foreign words. He bit his lip in order to prevent the groan that wanted to escape from his mouth. He felt like there was a deep and important message from those words, but knowing Levi, he probably wouldn't repeat them again and Eren would never get the chance to ask Siri to translate it for him.

But he somehow knew that Levi was conveying his feelings—his love—for him. It was ridiculous to kneel on the sidewalk with people bristling past them and with some stopping to look at them, but Eren felt like he could already melt into a pile of goo from his nerves earlier and by the sight right in front of him. Those pale cheeks were tinted pink, without a doubt, in a bit of embarrassment, yet those beautiful grey eyes didn't leave his teal-green ones.

He realized it at that moment.

He couldn't afford to lie to this man any longer. He couldn't afford to lose his trust on him. He couldn't afford to be separated from him.

Not when Levi was practically offering him his heart right then.

He wanted to solve the mystery behind his mom's death and now that he found out that there was a bigger picture about this whole case, he could see that it would no longer become a small matter to hide from everyone he cared about. Mikasa, Armin, Jean, and his other friends could potentially end up like Mike. And Levi…Eren wouldn't know what it would be like to live without the other's presence, not anymore. As much as he wanted to find his mom's killer, he had to stop and think of the other possibilities.

We're dealing with Rod Reiss. Who am I to know that my friends and Levi will not get involved in this? He will find me when he knows that I'm digging around. He will find my friends and will use them against me. Can I actually go through that?

He already knew the answer to that before his thoughts could fully form in his head.

No, he wouldn't be able to risk the important people in his life who were alive and well. He'd have to apologize to his mother for his decision, but the only image in his mind was collectively those familiar faces that surrounded him his whole life. And the smile that he promised to protect.

He could only picture his mom's smile though, as if telling him that she was proud of what his decision was. It brought fresh tears in his eyes and before Levi could freak out on him, he stopped him with one sentence.

That one sentence that he was willing to say whenever he could from now on.

That one sentence that would end his plan in confronting his unknown enemy.

That one sentence that would leave the past behind and would let him face his future.

That one sentence that signified his promise to never break the others' trust again, especially Levi's.

That one sentence…

"I love you, Levi."

He felt the saltiness of his porcelain tears and before his eyes could widen in disbelief at the sight of the older man tearing up, his lips were fully captured by the man that he'd sacrificed everything for.

He whispered those three words over and over against his lips. Those three words that would always squeeze his chest tight and make his heart do a fluttering dance, just like now. Those three words that he promised to say to Levi the night that he started believing in fate. Those three words that he was willing to wait forever for Levi to say back to him. But now, he was content with what he had.

He had Levi.

He had his friends.

He would let go of the past now.

"Eren?"

The brunet smiled sheepishly at his boss who was in the process of turning the sign CLOSED when he appeared in front of the bakery. Mike motioned for him to come inside and Eren obliged. He heard the telltale sound of the chiming trinket above the entrance door, and he let his eyes wandered at the clean shop.

"Do you want something to drink? Or eat?" Mike asked him with a smile. He shook his head in response, letting the silence take over them once again.

"It's been more than five years," he started and he obviously caught the blonde's attention by how his shoulders stiffened and he shifted to stand face-to-face in front of his friend. "I woke up in a hospital without a clue what I was doing there, then Mikasa told me the news. She told me that Mom had passed away. After that, I went through a phase…"

He glanced outside through the window, which reflected some lights from the cars outside as the sky turned midnight blue. He remembered that it was during this time when he woke up with tubes connecting his body to beeping machines and his body ached with the sudden confusion and frustration because he was clawing at the nothingness in his mind. He couldn't remember what happened. And after the time he spent trying to find clues, he finally pieced them together.

There was a possibility that what the others had been hiding from him was the fact that there was a link between him and the car crash. He had a feeling…that he was with his mom when it happened.

"I almost ruined my life. I fought a lot, almost got involved with gangs, barely ate, got into unhealthy…stuff."

This was the part of his life that he was trying to forget. Whenever he started remembering things from the past, starting from his mom's death, he would automatically shut down the rest of the influx before he could start recalling that state he was in. However, now that he started discussing about it himself, he could now clearly remember his past self that was impulsive, reckless, and uncaring.

It was during his second semester as a junior in high school. After he remained by the side of his mom's funeral, he watched people come and go and whisper things such as "look at that boy…didn't even shed a tear." The reason was his heart was already empty. Too empty to even let a tear leak out. Mikasa and her family raised him afterwards, and they attempted to fill in the void in his chest but it was futile. He was already past his breaking point.

He tried to find the things that could replace that emptiness inside him, and there was that one incident in his school.

This big student, the star player of the football team, surrounded this lanky guy at the back of the school where no one was around but Eren. It was his usual hangout, his escape, because he couldn't stand being surrounded by laughing or smiling people—it was only because he didn't want Mikasa on his ass about being absent that he still bothered coming to school. He even had to look both ways before he could skip his class. And that day, he just had to be fucking disturbed.

The shitty jock shoved the thin frame of that guy against the wall and Eren could hear what it sounded like a crunching sound and he partly hoped that it wasn't what he thought it was. Next to blood, he hated everything about bones. He was gonna ignore them but the moment his eyes darted and met the poor student's eyes, he felt a jolt in his body. There was some fire that ignited inside him, which was something he hadn't felt in days, and he could laugh at that moment because he wasn't fucking feeling heroic; it was the last thing in his To Do List. But whatever hesitance left inside him snapped the moment the bastard threw his fist to the quaking, harmless-looking boy. And faster than a lightning, he was out of that isolated bubble of his and he let everything out—his anger, his fury, his grief, his sorrow, and his loneliness. And that was how he ended up with a battered body, thus saving Marco Bodt.

But everyone didn't think that.

Everyone thought he was a problem child that needed to be rid of.

And Eren didn't forget the exhilaration he felt the moment his fist collided with that asshole's jaw. Fighting brought up the shot of adrenaline in his veins; taking him to heights and making him reel for more. That was what it all took for him to crackle into a fire hard to distinguished and neither Mikasa nor Armin could get any closer to him.

He almost died once (or maybe twice). Once upon a time, he was unofficially fighting with a group of thugs and he had no idea—not one inkling because he was too high with this activity—that his life could be pulled right from underneath his feet. He unknowingly came to a chartered territory by a major gang and all the fighting erupted in that one area. His head was bashed once, not hard enough to make him pass out but it was obviously enough to send a waterfall of blood dripping behind his head. He barely had enough time to register that there were the indicatory sounds of police cars not from far away and he used the chance that everyone else was distracted to turn his heels away and exit from that perilous life he got involved in.

He mended his wound by himself in his old house, which was surprisingly easy to break into. He couldn't afford to see Mikasa or anyone else in her family and face the disappointment or the worrying looks that he clearly didn't deserve. He didn't know what else to do as the realization crushed into him—he had ruined his life and almost lost it. He reminisced the times when he was with his mom, the moments when he was genuinely happy, and he could still see that familiar smile on her face as she told him how much she loved him. She loved him and yet he was destroying his life.

He completely and utterly failed her.

It was during that time when Jean came into his life, his classmate who he had always argued with and talked to before the incident had happened. How did the goof even find him in the first place still remained a mystery to him. However, all his agitation and his aguish all poured out the second Jean said those words to him.

"You're not alone. You just can't see them yet—that right next to you are people who care about you. And I'm willing to open your eyes, Eren."

That was how he started to care, about Jean, about his other friends, and about himself. He recalled that Jean had taken him to his family doctor when he told him that he hated hospitals, and he was really appreciative of the notion. That night was the start of his rebuilding his being once again, and he couldn't have done it without his friends.

This was a story that he would now be willing to share with Levi. This was the story that he shoved at the back of his mind every single time.

This was the story of the broken boy he used to be.

"The past is something I want to bury, but I know that that's not an option." He looked at Mike with a sad smile on his face and continued, "I don't want to live in the past anymore, Mike. I want to cherish those people who are still in my life."

Much to his surprise, his boss started tearing up. "It must have been hard for you, Eren… Must have been difficult…"

The young man continued to smile at him as he said, "My friends made it easier for me."

Mike rubbed his eyes and returned the smile that the brunet sent him. He walked closer to Eren and gently ruffled his hair. "You've grown this much within two years. I still remember how you innocently peered into this bakery that night, with a job list in your hand."

"And my stomach growled then you gave me an entire loaf of bread with Nutella." He laughed. It was one of the greatest memories that had accumulated during his stay here around this neighborhood.

Those light brown eyes softened as tears blurred their vision. "I'm sorry if I brought you unnecessary crapload of dilemma, Eren. If only I didn't tell you…"

He shook his head and looked at him. "No, it wasn't your fault. If anything, I should be thanking you because you told me the truth."

"But sometimes, the truth is better left unsaid."

"I don't believe that. Someday, I'll have to tell Levi about my own issues, too. Nothing can be buried forever."

"…Are you alright, then? Letting go of all these?" Mike asked, his gaze was seeking the truth from Eren.

"Yes. I don't want to risk my life or anybody else's," he answered him sincerely. That was all the reassurance that Mike sought, and he gave out a sigh. The weight on their shoulders were finally lifted off them and they both thought of how could one incident involving a loved one could quickly turn Eren's mind a hundred eighty degrees.

Levi is good for Eren, Mike thought with a smile.

They are indeed perfect for each other.

"Please, tell Erwin not to mention to Levi about the Reiss case again." Mike agreed to that request without a question.

"Oh, and Cap?" Eren started with a smile.

"Yeah?"

"Can I take a month off?"

Eren opened the door of his apartment and the smell of something delicious immediately hit his nose. Oh, how he loved waking up and going home to his cooking.

"Levi?" he called out, letting a big grin make its way on his face.

"Right here, brat," Levi answered from inside.

He passed the living room and headed straight to the kitchen where his favorite sight had greeted him: Levi in his bunny apron. For some reason, his boyfriend seemed to be enjoying putting on that outfit ever since he told him the history of the pink material, and the green-eyed lad couldn't really complain. In fact, he enjoyed it as much as Levi did.

"Did you get to talk to your boss?" the raven asked him. He was putting a pot on the table, where the plates and cups were already set. Eren could really get used to this.

"Mhm, yeah."

"And he's letting you take off an entire month?" Levi pressed on, now motioning for the younger to sit down. He followed the older male and once settled down, Levi began to place some of the stew he cooked in each other's bowl.

"Yeah. I mean, it's gonna be summer soon. It's natural to travel and all," Eren said.

"Wipe that eat-shitting grin off your face, kid," Levi chided him but he was wearing an amused smile himself.

"But I can't! It's unbelievable that you're inviting me to go to France!" the younger exclaimed, beaming as he raised a spoonful of the soup to his mouth. He let that to-die-for taste explode in his mouth and he didn't bother suppressing the moan from his lips. "Can you cook for me forever, Levi?" he asked dreamily, closing his eyes dramatically. He heard a laugh and opened one eye to look at the shorter man.

"You gotta put a ring on me if you want that, brat," Levi countered back with a smirk that Eren loved on him.

He felt some giddiness running inside him, which most likely because the weight that he had been carrying for the past few weeks had finally been lifted off him. This made him appear to be more playful than usual as he said, "Then, maybe I will."

Levi's eyes widened a fraction, but it didn't go undetected by Eren.

"Someday," he finished with a teasing smile hanging on his lips. There was a slight blush on his cheeks and he couldn't help but feel a little full of himself when he witnessed the once stoic man almost choking on his soup.

"Brat," Levi grumbled as he chugged down some water. Those grey eyes wandered around the place but Eren and the younger couldn't help but let the bubble of laughter escape from him, because Levi was looking downright embarrassed.

"I love you."

Another surprise attack. And Eren was sure that he would get a nosebleed at how Levi's face went from a baby pink to a ripe tomato red.

Eren finished the last spoonful of his food and he reached towards Levi who was sitting across from him. For a second, he wished that he had a round table instead of a four-person, rectangular one; that way, he wouldn't have such difficulty to grab the back of the older male's neck and crash his lips on his, just like what he was thinking of now.

Levi caught on, though, and just to tease him back, he leaned back down to his chair and Eren pouted.

"C'mon, Levi," he whined. Then his eyes flashed in mischievousness and he began, "Cause you're the apple to my pie (pie). You're the straw to my berry (berry)—"

The older male started to laugh uncontrollably, wheezing out a "Oh, my God. Stop." But Eren merely pitched a higher note, which he surprisingly pulled off.

"You're the smoke to my high (high). And you're the one I wanna marry (marry)—"

"God, Eren, stop, you shitty brat…" More of that laughter that turned into drunken-like giggles, and it was the only thing that topped off Eren's embarrassment at the moment.

"'Cause you're the one for me (for me). And I'm the one for you (for you). You take the both of us (of us). And we're the perfect two—"

Levi groaned loudly; now his face was placed in his hands, elbows propped on the table. He was clearly still stifling his laughter.

"We're the perfect two. We're the perfect two. Baby me and you. We're the perfect two…" Eren sang, and he burst out laughing at the last note. "Oh, my God. You could've at least sung with me!"

"Hello no, brat!"

Levi revealed his flushed face to Eren, tears were leaking out of his eyes and the brunet ceased his laughter and stared at his lover a meter away from him. Those silver pools seemed to draw him towards the man and he didn't dare resist that attraction, so he walked behind his short-stack. He slowly wrapped his arms around the raven's shoulders, his chest pressed upon his back and his lips right next to Levi's ear. The warmth between them was shared right through the two layers of clothes, and it made Eren sigh contently.

"But I think we are the perfect two," he murmured. Levi lifted his hand and touched the younger's arm that was laid across his chest and was encasing him. He gave it a squeeze and Eren could see him smiling right now even if he couldn't see him directly.

"I think so, too," he murmured back. The older man then turned around, and Eren noted how they were now only an inch away from each other and were practically sharing one breath. It was the intimacy that he always got whenever his lover was around to shower him with his care and his love. Right now, he could only think about erasing that distance between them by leaning forward.

And that was he did, but not before saying those three words again.

"I love you, Levi."

"Eren—"

He kissed the grey-eyed man with a passion that burst into wild fire in both of their veins. The heat between them was of a starting inferno that could consume them because their emotions were poured just as intense as it was, but it wasn't scary. It was welcoming. Eren moved without a drafted objective in mind; he merely followed the flutter of his heart and enjoyed the way his body seemed to spark when in contact with Levi.

And Levi felt just the same, to the point that he felt terrified that he wouldn't be able to go back to how he used to be if he was to be apart from Eren. He was terrified…of this fire distinguishing right before his eyes. And these thoughts were unbeknownst to the brunet.

Eren pulled back a bit and with his glassy eyes, he said, "You're my future, Levi."

The grey-eyed man stared at him, his irises were being swallowed by that stirring desire in him, before he replied, "I've been yours since the day I met you, Eren."

Blinking back tears, the younger man smiled, reflecting the great happiness erupting inside him.

"And I belong to you, Levi."

And that was one thing that would remain true in this lifetime…and in next one to follow.

A/N: I apologized if I somehow caused a mini heart attack last chapter hahaha But this is all part of the plot ;P Major fluff hereeee I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading and don't forget to drop a review!
-CrimsonHazelEyes/Snowberry